What is the best age to get married and have kids?

[deleted account] ( 34 moms have responded )

If you could choose the age you get married and have children, what would that age be and why? My age was 20 and I had my first at 21 and I feel that was perfect for me.


Rosie - posted on 03/11/2011




25. your brain is mature enough then, and it's not to horribly late to start the babymakin'. of course that's when i got married, lol! had a baby before that though...whoops!

Tah - posted on 02/08/2011




25..i would have at least had my master's and wouldn't be fighting so hard to get it now, having to split time between school, work, kids and a military husband. I would not have had to struggle so hard to get where i am now, which is a long way away from where i started(a 16 year old high school student mom working at burger king for 5.25 an hour) I would have been more prepared and settled mentally and in a financial sense to have children which i think is important. I would also have had that time to discover who i was apart from MOM, which i think is very important, and would have had a chance to party unrelentlessly and without mercy..lol...kinda can't happen when your mom(a responsible one anyway)...i would have realized what i wanted in a man as well. I don't care what people say, you are a different person from what you are at 18 to 25 or 30 even, people are constantly developing and changing, and in alot of cases..not all. but alot, you get married young and part of the struggle is money, and the fact that people change, and sometimes you don't change together or in the same direction, you throw some children in there and it makes it even harder when none has any money and are still trying to figure out who they are....so for me....25 would have been a good age..heck..may even 27...(would have finished the last school by then)....im at least 4-5 years behind..

Christina - posted on 02/08/2011




Every one is different. I don't think there is a "perfect" age to get married. However, I do believe that the younger you are, the greater chances of your marriage failing.

Charlie - posted on 02/07/2011




No particular age really just when you are mature enough to handle the responsibility .

[deleted account]

I got married a few months before my 24th bday and gave birth for the first time a month after my 25th bday. The ages were fine. The relationship was not.


View replies by

Tah - posted on 03/14/2011




Congrats....guess my invites lost in the mail....no..it's okay.....I'll be fine..lol..have a great day

Merry - posted on 03/13/2011




Congrats lacye! Have a great day tomorrow, and get some sleep tonight :)

Lacye - posted on 03/13/2011




It really depends on the person. I'm 26 and I'm getting married tomorrow (woo hoo!) and I had my daughter at 24. I don't think there is a set age.

Dana - posted on 03/11/2011




I suppose it's different for each person but, for me it was perfect.

I married my husband after 10 years of being together, at age 31 and a year later we had our son. We had our time of being together as a couple and growing together before we added a child into the mix. We also got to get our wild 20's out of the way.

Cherish - posted on 03/11/2011




I was married at 20 and had a kid at 20...we got married a month after our daughter was born

LaCi - posted on 02/12/2011




I always said 28. I still think 27/28 is great.

I was 23. :/ totally missed the goal on that one. (not married, just have kids. I always said I'd never get married, so far I'm good)

Merry - posted on 02/12/2011




My husband and I have agreed to not have kids beyond the age of 32 because we want to have all kids 18 by the time we turn 50!
Now, I only have 2 so far, and I feel I'm far from done, so we will see, but that's the plan :)
But I'm only 22 so I have time to work with!

Michelle - posted on 02/11/2011




I had my first child at 19. I was not married, and althought I wouldn't change having my daughter, I knew in my heart of hearts that I would not bring another baby into the world unless I was married. I always said if I wasn't married by the time I was 25, then I didnt want to get married. I did not want children past the age of 30. I got married 2 months before my 26th birthday (still 25...LOL), and had my first son 10 months later, and my second son 16 months after that. I loved having my children young because I am still young enough to enjoy them as they get older.

[deleted account]

After 25 and before 40. IMO
IMO no one before 25 because most are still way to immature to handle kids and don't want to give up anything even after handling them. (geez my SIL was 28 and I don't think they should have just for that reason.) Anyway,,,,,,
IMO no one older than 40 because quite frankly the risk of health/mental issues raises to over 40% at and above age 40. What will happen if your child needs constant care when you die?
Now there are always the exception to the rule on younger but really I will stick to my guns on the older one because over 80% of children born with disabilities end up being supported by the tax payers and it is easily something that can be avoided or at least minimized. Sounds heartless? Well in a way but then again this is my opinion. :)

[deleted account]

Whenever you are ready is the best time. I got married at age 21. We were both still in school. We waited until we were both done with our degrees to start having children. That happened when I was 24 and he was 33. For us, it worked well.

In response to the young mom/old mom thing...can't we just all be moms? I have a hard time getting around segregating moms by age. My "mom" friends range from their 40's to age 20. We share the common bond of motherhood, and our kids like to play together.

[deleted account]

Met hubby at 20, got married at 26, had my son at 32.
I was definately not ready to get married and have kids in my early 20's! Not done partying :-) I also needed to get my teaching dregree and work experience before I got married. It was my own personal goal, financially & professionally. (I was the breadwinner for a few years anyway). It took us longer than expected to have kids, but we're very happy and content with our one son who will be 6 on Friday.

[deleted account]

Now that I'm older it seems easier to be excepted by other moms in my area. Its like once I turned 30 I started getting respect. Oh believe me, I love advise and especially encouragement, lol!

Merry - posted on 02/08/2011




Maybe all the moms in their 30s think they don't need help, advise, encouragement etc fom circle of moms!
Lol just kidding, but who knows!

[deleted account]

Laura, the moms in the elementary were not just a couple of years older. I'm talkin 10 or so. These women started at 30 and I did at 20. Also, my friends started late. I love that I started early and now I have a 2 yr old which matches me up with the beginners at my age 32. Now they all ask me for advice cause mine are big and I have a little one to play with their little ones. But way back when I totally felt awkward and I used to get the look like I was too young from some. Other women didn't care but we were at different points in our lives and I just couldn't mesh with them. Now its a breeze. I thought I would get a lot of posts saying 30's or older. I was really surprised! Maybe its just in middle class CT? idk

Cyndel - posted on 02/08/2011




I married a month after I turned 19, and had my first a month after our first wedding anniversary. We will be married 5 years in August, we are still going strong, completely in love and honestly are looking forward to our 50th anniversary! (Yes I said 50th, we announced our engagement at my grandparents 50th anniversary party! What a good start to a marriage!)

It was perfect for me! The only thing I have consitantly wanted for as long as I can remember is to marry, be a supportive, loving wife, and raise the next generation for Christ! What an honor being able to raise the next generation who will take over our church, government, health care, law, etc! If we aren't careful in raising this generation what will the future of the church and this world be?

Sorry I kind of went off on a tangent. But I always have thought raising the next generation was more important then going to collage and working while leaving the raising of the future of our nation etc to others. Just me though!

Merry - posted on 02/08/2011




Lesa, I'm the youngest in my group of moms, and it's weird. I also think late twenties and thirties seems to be the more normal age these days to have kids. I'm 22 and in my group there is 24,25,25,28,29,32. And now the friend who is 29 is having her second any day now, and the friend who is 25 is having her second the same date I am due in may.

[deleted account]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I agree that having my children young was perfect age for me but I am a better mom now at age 32 and my husband too than when we started. I've found most parents to be older than me when my oldest was in elementary and it was hard developing friendships. It always seemed most people started in their 30's but the majority of you say 20's.

Amy - posted on 02/08/2011




I would say getting married around 21 or 22, and waiting one year before trying to have kids is great for us. We got married shortly before I graduated college, I got a good Job and we were more secure a year after and able to afford a child. I always wanted kids young so I can enjoy life more when there out of the house and hopefully live to also enjoy any grandchildren I might have.

Alecia - posted on 02/08/2011




i got married a couple weeks before i turned 22 and had my daughter a week after i turned 22....the pregnancy was a surpirse in the middle of wedding planning :p i wouldnt change the age at all, but instead of just getting an associates degree and then a CNA, i would have got my RN, that way i wouldnt have to go back to school to get it. but otherwise i always wanted kids "young" and im very glad i found the right man to have babies with at the right time!

Merry - posted on 02/08/2011




I married at 18 and had my son at 20 now about to have a daughter at 22.
I like the age I married because matt and I were committed 100% more then two years before we married. We both were each others first bf and gf, first kiss, etc so I'm happy we married young and never have to deal with old bf gf jealousy, or comparisons.
I like that I went straight from being a child to being a wife because I feel this makes the transition easier. I knew I had to respect my dad, and I knew how to compromise with him about my plans, then I got married and it was easier fro me to not be 'on my own' with all my decisions up to me. I had a husband to consider, and It was easy to make sure I thought about his feelings and asked his opinion on my plans or ideas.
Sort of like I never knew what it was like to be independent, so I don't struggle with having a partnership with him, with equal rights responsibilities and restrictions.
I like that we grew into adults together, so we are even more bonded and on the same page, cuz we learned how to be spouses, not how to be single adults!
It worked for us cuz we were both home schooled, and both raised in Christian homes with alot of instruction about not dating for fun, but dating to find your spouse.
So idk about anyone else, I couldn't say what's best for anyone else. But this was awsome for us, and I feel it was what we were ment to do!

[deleted account]

I think everyone is different and so it really does depend on the person I have known people in their early twenties who were ready for marriage and parenthood and people in their mid thirties who were nowhere near either of the two.

For me I feel I married at the right age, 21. I wanted to have babies as soon as I was married, but it took 3 years for us to fall pregnant as many of you know I have fertility issues, looking back in hindsight I don't think at 22 I was ready for babies, so the 3 years heartbreak was a blessing in disguise, at 24 I was in a much better position both mentally and financially to have children. So I wouldn't do anything differently in regards to my marriage and children :-)

Meghan - posted on 02/08/2011




I don't think there is a "perfect time" for anything in life. Growing up I thought I would have a great job, the white picket fence, loving husband, 3 kids the time I was 27. Odd number, I know but that was my theory. Turns out that I was married, had one perfect little boy and separated by 22...now I am 24, still have one perfect little boy, not even close to being divorced (ARGH) and totally driven towards getting an education then a career that allows me to provide for us before I even THINK about marriage or more babies. There is still time I suppose. But right now it doesn't feel right for me or my son. I am sure when the time is right it will make sense.

[deleted account]

I had my first child at 20 and was married at 21. I obviously wouldn't change any of it for the world. But, if I had to pick an age I thought would be great I would say married 24 and baby 25.

Candi - posted on 02/07/2011




It is different for everybody. I got married on my 22nd birthday. My first child was born when I was 24, my second at 25, and my third at 30. I wouldn;t change a thing. My husband and I were high school sweethearts, so we knew we would always be together. Still going strong and no regrets

[deleted account]

I think this would be one of those things that is different for everyone. I got married at 22 and had our son at 25. I think I was a little too young, but I am very happy with my husband and love my son with all my heart, so it worked out for me :)
It just would have been nice to have a little more life experience, but when you are that age, at least when *I* was that age, I thought I knew all I needed to and could go on with my life the way it was regardless of relationship status and children :P

Krista - posted on 02/07/2011




Well, that's kind of a toughie, because all of the things that I experienced in my life led me to be the wife and mother that I am, so I don't know if I'd want anything to be different.

That being said, if I could somehow compress time and still wind up with the same work and life experience in a shorter number of years, then I would have liked to have gotten married around 27 and had my son when I was 30.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms