Who's choice?

Alisa - posted on 05/20/2010 ( 114 moms have responded )

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If a woman is pregnant and wants to terminate the prenancy but th father want to keep the baby and is willing to fully support that child with no help from the mother should he be able to stop the abortion?

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Jenny - posted on 05/20/2010

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Werll Jackie it's a good thing there are millions of more empathetic women who have fought long and hard for our sisters to gain control of our bodies and reproductive rights.

And crack didn't exist back then. The CIA brought it in in the '80's. Not sure what your point was there.

Sarah - posted on 05/20/2010

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Let's twist it, a woman gets pregnant and the father wants to abort the child, and the woman wants to keep it. Does he have the right to force her to terminate it just because he is equally responsible for the baby? Because his say is just as important?
No. I don't think any one would say his "rights" would come into play then, so why when it's the other way around???

Celia - posted on 05/21/2010

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I'd like to know from those who are anti abortion and believe as I do that there is a baby from the moment of conseption that feels and reacts to its environment... Would you choose to force that fetus to endure torture for 9 months and maybe their entire life?
Mothers who do not want their babies will continue to drink, do drugs, engage in harmful activities to try and spontaniously abort their babies, trying to self abort with coat hangers etc, have emotions full of fear, anger, regret and all those stress filled hormones will be shared with the baby.
Babies will be born with FAS, CP, drug effects, birth defects, and if you believe they feel as I do, emotional reprecussions beyond what I can imagine as the womb should be a place of comfort and nurturing.
You can not lock up women who want to abort for 9 months and force then to be nurturing.
I believe that altho I would never choose abortion because I would see any pregnancy as a gift, that option needs to be in place to protect women and give them a way out that will do the least amount of damage to them AND their babies.
You can not protect a baby just by making safe abortions illegal, and you can not carry a child to term and protect it from its mother if she wishes it harm or feels nothing for it and will torture it by continuing a lifestyle that IS torture for that unborn baby.
What is kinder?

Megan - posted on 05/20/2010

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That reason right there is why I am basically pro life in all aspects. A fetus is a baby and life in my opinion. Life does begin at conception. That fetus is not only the woman's. Just because it is in her body does not mean that it is only hers. If the father wants that child the least the woman can do is carry it to term. 9 months is not that long of time when you take into account that child's entire life.

If her life is not being put at risk by having this child, then she should definitely have it. I know women have come a long way in this country, but at what cost sometimes? Now, I don't think women are lower than men, but this woman having an abortion gives her power over a man. If men should not have power over women, why should women be any better and have power over a man?

This child has a loving family to go to, and this woman decided to have sex. Yes, accidents can happen even with birth control (my son was conceived while using the pill, I set an alarm every day so I know I didn't screw that up, my son was just meant to be) but YOU make that choice to have sex, even if you use birth control you need to know the possible consequence is getting pregnant. The least you can do is carry that baby to term and let the father take over from there. She can sign her rights away and never have to see that child again if she doesn't want to, and I don't believe she should see that child again if she wants to kill it now against the father's wishes. I'm sorry, but abortion is murder.

I can be empathetic to abortion positions in EXTREME circumstances, but I am against it. If the reason you want an abortion is because you don't want to raise the child, then carry that baby to term and give it to a family that has tried for years to get pregnant, or to the father. I don't understand how that is a difficult choice.

If she is worried about what her body will look like, she could take the money she would spend on an abortion and pay to get a tummy tuck after the baby is born.

The father has rights to that child whether it is born or unborn. I suppose that is my main point. Sorry I got on a little rant there.

Alisa - posted on 05/20/2010

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I think that a man should have a say, the baby is his just as much as it is hers. Further more I believe that he should have the right to go after child support!! A woman can keep the baby without his consent and then make him pay for it. As for it's a womans body, womans choice issue. She chose to have sex!! And sometimes no matter how well you protect yourself pregnancy is possible. The only form of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence. Women spout off all the time about equal rights, so what about equal rights for men. I believe that the moment an egg and sperm join that that is a life, therefore to me abortion is murder. Men are just as capable as women in raising babies and children and I think they should be able to fight for the life of thier child.

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I think in the long run the woman has more say in anything. For 1 it's her body. She is the one that is going through the changes not the guy. She has more rights on what goes on with her body.

Jasmine - posted on 04/29/2012

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Wow that's quite the conundrum. Granted I'm sure many women choose abortions because the father bails on them and they have no support, but this case is tricky because the woman will have to be the one to carry the baby to term and risk the possible risks that come with pregnancy.....I honestly don't know how to answer this

[deleted account]

So just because the father is willing to support the child, it means the mother should carry the pregnancy to term, even though she dosent want it? This my friends is called Involuntary Servitude. And i also find it so judgmental to read comments about how selfish and careless mothers are who have abortions are. We do not know the circumstances that cause women to choose abortion so while it is easy for some of you to never "fathom such an atrocity", it might not be so easy for someone who is not in your shoes.

Jaime - posted on 05/26/2010

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Abortion is selfish, wanting to have a baby is selfish...they both serve our self-interest in some way. I don't want to become pregnant every time I have sex, and I strive to use protection but sometimes it doesn't work...that's the nature of the beast really. Sex is something that has been done from the beginning of humanity and will likely continue to the end of humanity...that's just how it is. What's up for argument here is the issue of 'responsibility'. How can it be considered irresponsible of someone to decide NOT to have a child when they are certain they are incapable of caring for or providing for them? Even in gestation, if a person has stated that they do not want to carry the baby to term, is it responsible for the medical professionals or the woman's support system to insist she carry the baby based on moral judgments? Who would be held accountable if that woman took matters into her own hands to ensure the baby didn't happen? Is it reasonable to conclude that education and information are our best chances at making time and life-appropriate choices and decisions?

The baby has no more right to live than I have right to tell a woman what control she can possess over her own person.

Melissa - posted on 05/26/2010

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In my opinion...

If you didn't want to get pregnant, then you should have used protection or not have had sex at all! The baby has a right to live, especially if the father is willing to take care of the child. Abortion is selfish! Why kill something (which is a forever thing) because you don't want to take care of your responsibility (pregnancy only lasts 9 months, adopt the baby out!).

Sherri - posted on 05/25/2010

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Everyone will have there beliefs. My beliefs every woman should have the right to choose and as long as it is done in the first 12 wks that is there business. I would personally never have one UNLESS the baby would be born severely handicapped and have very little quality to life it would be unfair on the child and unfair to the 3 healthy children I have at home whom's worlds would never be the same again because my life would be consumed with this severely handicapped child.
2. If I was in jeopardy of losing my life.

Christa - posted on 05/25/2010

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@Celia, that is an awful situation to be in and I hope to never be there, but no I would not have an abortion. I feel it is only God's place to take life. I also wouldn't picket outside anywhere and call anyone a murderer or anything else because it is not my place to judge. But here in a debate forum I will call a spade a spade. And to me taking of a human like is murder. I’m not going to pussy foot around it in order to not hurt someone’s feelings, nobody seems to give a damn about those poor babies feelings.

@Dana, I am not trying to get a rise out of people. Believe me if that was my intent I could and would say much worse. It is what it is and I don't care what the law defines it as. The taking of a human life any human life is murder, in my eyes. This is my hot button issue, everybody has one, and this is mine. If I could see anything changed about our world before I die, this would be it.

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Celia, I'm sorry to hear about your friend....my heart goes out to her!

@Christa....just for the record, I don't agree with you that it should/could be called murder and thank goodness the law is on my side otherwise there would be A LOT of women in jail.....anyhow, I also want to add that I don't care what you choose to call it; it doesn't offend me in the slightest and I just think that some of the women are overreacting....ok, maybe not overreacting; that's not the right word but WOMEN, WHO CARES WHAT CHRISTA CALLS IT! She's entitled to her opinion and she's just trying to get a rise out of you, otherwise she'd choose to use a different word to describe it....such as the one designated for it....ABORTION is rather fitting, don't you think? LOL!

[deleted account]

Interesting debate... I haven't read all of it, so may be repeating something... but I'd be more concerned that if the women was forced to go through with the pregnancy, what would she do during that pregnancy? If she was to binge-drink / do drugs / do other things not good for pregnancy, what damage could she do to that baby simply because she doesn't really care? Just a thought.

Celia - posted on 05/24/2010

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@ Christa- I think that in calling it murder you are doing harm to mothers who had abortions for medical reasons who may not have been pro-choice to begin with.

I have a friend who was pregnant with a baby who may have made it to term but will have died within a few hours, days at the most and it would have known only pain and suffering. She chose to abort her baby for its own good and out of love but it was a hard decision for her.

Would you have chosen to torture her child by forcing her to carry it to term? And if not then why would you call her a murderer?

In our city they have anti abortion rallys I think every Wendnesday outside the hospital, she has to drive by signs that call her a murderer on her way to work. She has never said a word about it to me but it hurts me to think of the pain it must cause her.

Melissa - posted on 05/24/2010

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I think about this all the time! I think that the child is equally both parent's responsibility. I also wonder, if they mom wants to give child up for adoption but dad doesn't can the dad keep the baby?

Christa - posted on 05/24/2010

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It is murder in my eyes. If someone is hurt by that it's on them. If someone has an abortion and they are ok with it, what do they care what I think or what I call it?

Amanda - posted on 05/24/2010

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@ christa..science can say what it wants. it also says there is no God. that humans just 'evolved'. you believe that too? yes, some people believe life begins at conception, you're right. but some people, me included, believe that life begins when the fetus is able to actually live outside of its mother's body. does science think a fetus can survive at 6 weeks gestational age? i know everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but using such harsh words such as "murder' to compare an abortion to is very inappropriate when you don't know everyone's life stories that view these blogs.

anyways in response to the question, that's tough. i kinda have to go with another respone i saw and say only if he can incubate it himself.

Lyndsay - posted on 05/23/2010

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No. The woman is the one who has to carry the baby for the 9 months, and if she's not committed to the birth of the baby then who knows what kind of shit she will do to herself during pregnancy. As we all know, pregnant women need to take care of themselves properly in order to have a healthy baby. For me, it has nothing to do with the woman's body or her wants or anything else. It is all about the baby and its prenatal development.

Amber - posted on 05/22/2010

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I personally am pro choice. I believe that if you want an abortion, that is your choice, but I choose not to. So, for me this isn't an abortion debate for me.

However, I do believe that the man should have SOME say in it. I don't think that his opinion is the final word, but he should get his say. It is his child to. In a perfect world, this wouldn't happen..but the world isn't perfect. He should at least have an opportunity to have a child that is his. He should be able to try.

Jenny - posted on 05/22/2010

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When I was 8 months pregnant I wanted to get a Tshirt made that said "Pro Choice" to illustrate that very point. Nobody is pro abortion. They suck, they are a difficult choice to make but they are reality and we can never go back to taking a woman's rights to her body.

For those who say it should be illegal it gives me disturbing images. I picture a jail cell with a pregnant women straight jacketed so she can not harm herself. I can't see any other way of forcing a woman to complete a pregnancy who does not want to. Could we really allow ourselves to treat women this way? If you would support a reality like that I'm kicking you out of the sisterhood.

Christa - posted on 05/22/2010

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I don't think ALL pro-choice people are pro-abortion, but I do think there are many pro-abortion people out there. I lived with 2 of them in college, among others I've met. The problem is BOTH sides won't back down. I think there is a compromise to be found that would reduce abortions, but neither side is willing to take a breath and talk about it.

Christa - posted on 05/22/2010

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@Heather I'm sorry I didn't word it better, I meant I don't buy it as an excuse, not that it didn't happen. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Sarah - posted on 05/22/2010

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I agree with the others who have said that just because they're pro-choice, it doesn't mean i'm there cheering people on to abort their babies. I just think the choice should be there.

Also, i think the cases of women using abortion as a means of birth control are NOT the standard. Many women find it an extremely difficult and heart wrenching decision. It's not that they are unaware of what they doing, they're not cold and heartless about it.

Again, the woman's right to her own body trumps everything else, but that's not to say that aren't other avenues she can take if she's WILLING to do so.

Erin - posted on 05/22/2010

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Why don't people understand that?? Do pro-lifers think that pro-choicers are FOR abortion? I am pro-choice but just like Dana said, not for abortion. I think that it should be the last resort. But it should be a woman's choice to do what she WANTS with her own body. No matter the reasoning. Period. It's the woman's choice.

Heather - posted on 05/22/2010

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And with that...I am moving along....I hate this subject...its like beating a dead horse...

Heather - posted on 05/22/2010

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"@Heather, I never said they didn't exist, I know they did. I just said it's not a good excuse to help these women kill their babies."

I wish I could remember how the hell to quote....

Anyway, Christa...you said that you didnt "buy" the whole botched abortion thing...

"@Heather, I don't buy the botched abortion thing. Would women do that? Probably, but not millions a year. It might actually force women to be more responsible with their sexual choices if they knew that abortion wasn't a safe and easy choice."

I was just letting you know that,
#1 Yes, a woman would do that...and yes...there were MILLIONS of women who had illegal abortions.
#2 http://www.justfuckinggoogleit.com/

Jaime - posted on 05/22/2010

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Well that's it for me. I'm just repeating myself at this point. I appreciate a debate...but it's also helpful when both sides can have an open mind--especially when discussing rights and freedoms. That is the true difference between the pro-life/pro-choice agenda. Pro-choice recognizes that women have a choice, regardless of someone's personal, moral judgment. I also don't believe that the pro-choice agenda regards abortion as the 'easy out'. I am pro-choice and I think abortion sucks and I think that women do need to be conscious of their choices and decisions...but that doesn't stop the fact that the choice is theirs to make, regardless of how I feel.

Megan - posted on 05/22/2010

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Thank you, I've said that before as well. If they would be more difficult to get, and you can only use an abortion under extreme circumstances, it would be better. I still would not agree with it, but it would be a little more bearable than watching human life destroyed because we had a woops moment.

Christa - posted on 05/22/2010

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We will have to agree to disagree :-) I do think we SHOULD have programs to help women with unwanted pregnancies. I should say have more programs, there are already some. Why can't we focus our efforts there, make it a pre-req before getting an abortion. There are many other solutions that would help reduce abortions and why more people aren't open to them is beyond me. There is no reason we should still be allowing women to use abortion as birth control. I know that's not why all abortions are performed but there ARE many women who do use it as such. If we MUST leave abortion legal then we MUST make it harder to get. It can not be such an accepted choice for any women who got herself knocked up.

Megan - posted on 05/22/2010

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I agree with Christa 110%. Women that do drink/smoke/do drugs while pregnant should be charged with child abuse whether or not the pregnancy was wanted. I also don't feel one ounce sorry for anyone that has had an abortion when they were illegal and has had complications of it. Do we feel sorry for others that break the law? When abortion was illegal, those women were breaking the law, so no, I don't feel sorry for them.



It would make you think twice before having sex because you can't just go and "take care of it" afterwards if it does not go as planned. Sex is not something that should be taken lightly, the act itself should be just as serious to a person as the consequences. I understand that one night stands happen, but if you are going to choose that path, you best be ready for the consequences. Along with Christa- I definitely think a baby should be protected even if it is just a "meaningless fetus with no human rights"



Like I said before, how could you look at a newborn and say "8 months ago you weren't my child, just a fetus that had no rights." ???



Also, to those that think it is cruel to put a woman in a stressful pregnancy, and to force her to stick with it- what do we say about crack heads, rapists, murders, arsonists? Should we allow them to do as they please because it is stressful and emotionally difficult for them to change their ways, and to quit doing what they are doing? That can be just as stressful on the mind ad body as a pregnancy.

Jaime - posted on 05/22/2010

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Making abortion illegal won't make woman think twice...as has already been stated, women were performing their own abortions and getting illegal abortions before it was legalized, which caused a lot more problems...thus making it necessary for women to have access to legal abortion. If a woman feels strongly enough that she does not want to carry out a pregnancy, she WILL find a way to make an abortion happen or she will continually put her child at risk for mental and physical defects if they survive. That is obviously in extreme cases, but in consideration of this very possible risk to a baby, as much as a person might be against abortion, it has to be legal and women need their rights respected and protected. You can tell me until you're blue in the face that babies in utero should have the same rights as babies outside of the womb, but it takes away from the rights of the woman and that doesn't make sense. And if a woman is held against her will and made to have the baby, what severe mental or emotional consequences might that have for the baby when they are older? For me, the stress of the situation is not ever worth the risk to mother or child, so abortion IS the best option. We also have programs available to help mothers suffering from PPD...programs that are not available for a pregnant woman that has to cope with a pregnancy she is fully against. Some might suggest that she will just have to "suck it up and move on"...but the risk she poses to the baby regardless is just not worth it to me. She could get counseling and she could begin to feel a lot better about the pregnancy...but the fact that her right to her own body has been taken away is a severe breech of trust and freedom. Bottom line is that a woman has the RIGHT to choose what's best for her and her body...an impending baby is never an excuse to take those rights away.

Christa - posted on 05/22/2010

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@Heather, I never said they didn't exist, I know they did. I just said it's not a good excuse to help these women kill their babies.

@Jamie, it would force women to think twice before opening their legs because pregnancy would be much more of a "threat" then it is now. I didn't say it would force the already pregnant to be responsible. As far as their emotional well being, life has consequences. Sometimes we make a poor choice and end up in a situation that causes us stress, that is not an excuse to kill a baby. When a mother has extreme PPD and kills her children we don’t excuse her and say “well she was really stressed out so she had to kill her kids to make herself feel better”. It’s not ok when they are out of the womb and it’s not ok when they are in the womb.

Christa - posted on 05/22/2010

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That does open a whole new can of worms, because I already think mothers that drink/smoke/drugs while pregnant should be charged with child abuse. So that's a whole other battle. . . . .

I guess to sum up my feelings, I think we should protect a child in the womb just as we protect a child out of the womb. To me they are both children and need us to protect them if their mother won't.

[deleted account]

So, it's a new day....

" if you ever COULD force a woman to carry a child she didn't want, would you then force her to give up smoking and drinking and drug taking? Or even other things, like her passion for sky diving, or extreme sports? Or take away her livelihood if she's a model or in the Army? "

Brilliant! I am curious like Celia and Sarah.....IF a man (potential father) got his way, it opens up a whole new can of worms...

Jaime - posted on 05/22/2010

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I agree Celia and Sarah...a woman has the final say, regardless of her reasons and regardless of what anyone else wants.

Sarah - posted on 05/21/2010

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Celia raises a good point, you if you ever COULD force a woman to carry a child she didn't want, would you then force her to give up smoking and drinking and drug taking? Or even other things, like her passion for sky diving, or extreme sports? Or take away her livelihood if she's a model or in the Army?

Also, someone said about if the father took the case to court, then it might give the woman time to think etc etc. What if she STILL decided to abort? Then the abortion would be a late term abortion, FAR more traumatic for all concerned!

The fact is, as the woman, you have final say, i would be extremely disheartened to think that for ANY reason, a man could have ANY kind of say what happened to my body. I'm glad we live in a world where a woman's body is her own. :)

Heather - posted on 05/21/2010

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well, Christa, it really does not matter whether you believe that botched abortions happened...they did and its a very well documented FACT. Just because we dont remember a time when abortions were not legal does not mean it didnt happen.

Google "history of abortion" and do a little research before you post . There were MILLIONS of "illegal" abortions performed every year and THOUSANDS of woman who died from hemorrhage and infection every year caused by the poor an unsanitary conditions that the abortions were performed under.

Megan - posted on 05/21/2010

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@ Christa- (Okay so I lied, this is my LAST post tonight)

THANK YOU! You took just about everything I was thinking and put it into much better words. I am 100% against abortion, but even if abortion was not completely made illegal, I would be much more content with it if it was WAY more difficult to get, such as proof of rape/incest. Thank you very much. It's good to see someone who agrees with me on this one. It has been a long night of not many people agreeing with me on this one! =o) thank you very very much.

Jaime - posted on 05/21/2010

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Megan, I want to be sure you understand that I do respect your opinion and I think I've said as much in my comments (perhaps not in that wording). Your opinion is valuable and your points are valid...we just don't agree...thus the basis of debate. I respect your decision to bow out and appreciate you taking the time to post your thoughts and opinions.

Jaime - posted on 05/21/2010

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Christa, forcing a woman to have a baby isn't going to teach her to be responsible. It will result in a depressed woman that is quite possibly severely unstable both emotionally and mentally. Not to mention there would be one more kid in the world that wouldn't be taken care of or would be stuck in foster care...what is that going to teach us? Not a damn thing! A fetus is a living being...yes. But a fetus is not a viable human being until it is born...thus all of the decisions about the fetus are the right of the mother...if she wants to abort it, that is her prerogative. It's not a fair situation, it's not a solution to her problem, but it's her choice.

Megan - posted on 05/21/2010

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I think I am with Dana on this one. It is time to bow out. My mind will never change, even if the law does not. I will never support abortion, and I am sorry Jaime I don't think I will ever be able to agree with you. We do have freedom of choice. We also had the freedom of choice to have sex in the first place (obviously unless it is rape, which I still don't think it's a good reason to kill a child). It does not HAVE to be any way. It was not this way way back when- and no matter what "way" it is, there is going to be a large portion of unhappy people in the outcome. I don't think abortion will ever go back to being illegal, but that won't change my mind. I don't believe abortion has to be an option to consider, and I don't think it should be. I never posted to this thread to start a huge abortion debate- because it honestly wears itself out pretty quick. All we can do is keep repeating ourselves, while we both know nobody's mind will change on the topic.

I will always be pro life, but I am big enough to respect the pro choice viewpoints. I do hold empathy for people that do choose abortion, because I can see why at times for some people it may seem like the best option- I am just personally so against it. I do respect your opinion, and hope you can respect mine. I'm not sure if I will post back to this topic or not (it is exhausting itself, I don't think I'm the only one who feels that way), but I definitely won't be posting tonight anymore. My son will kick my butt if I'm not up and ready to play in 7 hours, and I still have some housework to do.

Christa - posted on 05/21/2010

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@Dana, our rights get taken away all the time when it affects another human. We can’t rape, murder, assault, etc because it harms another human. Even though we are do what we want with our bodies. I give the baby equal rights as a human. And one humans life trumps another’s discomfort.

@Heather, I don't buy the botched abortion thing. Would women do that? Probably, but not millions a year. It might actually force women to be more responsible with their sexual choices if they knew that abortion wasn't a safe and easy choice. Should we set up places to help scared women so we could help not have people taking matters into their own hands? YES! But if someone is disturbed enough to kill herself just to kill her baby, well then let her. We wouldn't help anyone kill another out of the womb human so they wouldn't get hurt, why is this any different?

P.S. for the record I would compromise for a law that allows the rape, incest and life of the mother exceptions even though I still don't think they should ever occur.

Jaime - posted on 05/21/2010

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Life starts at conception, but a baby's rights don't. I've already said that we don't issue birth certificates at conception. The existence of a possible baby is not ever going to be enough to take the right away from a woman to decide whether or not she wants to be pregnant. We have free will, we have the freedom to make THIS choice for ourselves and that is how it has to be. It's not fair, that much is certain...but it has to be that way. It's all well and good that a man wants to take on the responsibility of raising the baby once it is born, but that doesn't account for the 9 months that a woman would be unwillingly submitting to carrying a child she did not want. Some might say that it's selfish of a woman to destroy a fetus because she didn't want to endure the pregnancy...but I say it's smart for her to decide to end it now than to 'wait and see' what kind of chaos or tragedy might befall the child once it is born. A woman's doubt in her mental and emotional ability, a woman's selfish desire to maintain her perfect body shape, a woman's concern in her physical stamina--all valid reasons for her to get an abortion as far as I'm concerned. I don't like it, but abortion has to be legal and our rights have to be respected.

[deleted account]

Ok, so I'm not tryin to be rude but I'm going to bow out at this point.....I haven't heard anything here that I haven't heard before in other abortion debates which I guess is what this ultimately boils down to!



When or IF (good luck) the laws ever change to favor your pro-life views then by all means, gimme a shout! LOL! I promise I'm not trying to be a smartass either. I'm just kicking myself for thinking I could ever change anyone's mind...



Have a good night ladies!

Megan - posted on 05/21/2010

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I understand the mental stress pregnancy can put on someone, but what about the emotional stress that an abortion puts on someone? Every person I know that has had an abortion regrets it and wishes they didn't do it. I don't think abortion needs to be an option because I think it SHOULD be illegal.

I think we've cleared up that we will never ever agree on this topic. Why else is this such a hot topic in politics? Because there are two VERY strong viewpoints, and both sides feel equally strong towards their own viewpoint. Also, if a woman decides she cannot carry a baby to term because she is emotionally unstable, how can you say she is emotionally stable enough to make such a final decision? I'm not putting you down by any means so please don't take offense. I'm just saying some of the things that run through my mind when I think of abortion. I don't think people that have them are bad people, but I do think they made a bad choice. The only reason a woman has the right to terminate a pregnancy is because we gave it to her. And yes I do think it matters if she was a "whore" for a weekend (which by the way I hate that word because people have one night stands, and I don't think a woman should be called a whore for it when a man is called a hero) Abortion is NOT a form of birth control- even if the birth control failed. I think if you believe you are responsible enough to have intercourse, you should be responsible enough to deal with the consequences of that in ways OTHER than abortion. Like I said before, I just think abortion should be illegal, so I am never going to agree that it should be an option. I stand just as firm on that as you do on pro choice- and I am not downing you for feeling that way, it is refreshing to debate/discuss these topics with people who have a sound opinion, and know how to express that opinion- so thank you.

Also, please don't think that I am completely against women's rights. I am not a woman hater by any means. I do feel for people with an unplanned pregnancy. It is a scary and dark time, but there is just way too much joy in the aftermath 99% of the time to justify giving into fear.

I guess I just can't grasp how anyone could move past an abortion. I know I could not do it. Heck, my boyfriend and I want to get a dog in the next couple years, and even that is difficult for me because the first and only dog I had as a kid we had to give away (we lived in town, and he was used to having acres to run around). If I have a hard time replacing a dog that I had 10 years ago with a new one, I know I could NEVER move on from killing an innocent life. =o)

@Dana. I'm glad we finally understand a little. I don't think you're slow tonight, I am probably just way too tired to be talking about such a hot topic. For some reason I have gotten caught up on this thread and cannot pull myself away.

Heather - posted on 05/21/2010

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I am pro-choice, I think that the the womans right to choose should not be taken away for any reason. I am not pro abortion, and I respect all life as I also feel that life technically starts at the moment of conception and that having a abortion does end a potential life...I mean, those are facts. I do not think that a womans right to choose should ever be taken away or made illegal, not because I dont care about the unborn babies, its because I dont want things to go back to the way they were. As long as there are women, there will be abortion. I dont ever want things to go back to the back alley botched abortions, where not only the fetus, but the mother dies. We have come a long way from using coat hangers and throwing ourselves down flights of stairs to try to end a pregnancy...I never view going backward, as a good thing.



As far as the situation mentioned by the OP...I think that abortion should NEVER be taken lightly, and I think that it is incredibly selfish to deny the biological father his child...Its only 9 months...thats a small sacrifice IMO, however It is her decision to make and I support any womans right to make that decision, whether I agree with it or not.

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Ok, I keep asking this question and I've yet to receive an answer.....What would you do if someone was trying to force you to have an abortion? It's about a women's right, NOTHING else!

Christa - posted on 05/21/2010

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I agree Megan, the baby is an equal human, IMO, and its rights should be accounted for ESPECIALLY when the father wants to keep it. Like you I think abortions should not be an option and I am saddened that people still think that the women having the right to do whatever with her body trumps the life of another human. That is not the case for any other situation that causes harm to another human, but for some reason people dismiss a fetus as a human. Even though genetically and biologically it is. It is a person proven by science. I will never understand how people say it's not. :-(

Jaime - posted on 05/21/2010

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Megan you have some noble ideas with regard to this discussion, but I think that the pro-life agenda leaves little consideration for the 'here and now'. A woman should not be expected to carry out a pregnancy unless she is sure that she is able. I'm certain that we all have doubts about our abilities as parents when we become pregnant...but when a woman has doubts about the pregnancy itself...I just don't think there's any room for "wait and see".

Jaime - posted on 05/21/2010

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But it's not even about the "I am woman hear me roar" mentality. It's about the "I am capable of making sound decisions about my ability to be responsible for something as important as the health and safety of a fetus" mentality. And if a woman is not of sound mind and seeking an abortion...it still is the best option. To continue with the pregnancy would likely put undue stress on the fetus as a result of the stress to the mother who is not mentally or emotionally able to grasp her situation. Again, it still sucks...but that's how it has to be.



Abortion has to be an option because a woman has the right to make the choice to be pregnant or not...it doesn't matter that she was a whore for a weekend and got drunk and slept with some biker whose name she can't remember and ended up pregnant. If she woke up and decided she needed to get an abortion then that is what she should do. There HAS to be more consideration for the mental and emotional state of a woman's mind regardless of whether or not we are often stronger than we give ourselves credit for. The slightest doubt can have the most devastating consequences. Wouldn't it be a perfect world if everyone made good choices with regard to sex...but we are human and we are flawed. All 'what if's' aside, it should always be a woman's choice no matter what the reason.

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NOW I get what you're saying, Megan! I still don't agree with you but I can respect what you're saying....I guess I'm a lil' slow tonight? It's been a long day.

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