Son is a new Police Officer. Mother (me) is scared to death.

Donna - posted on 04/19/2017 ( no moms have responded yet )

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Hello parents of law enforcement officers.
My name is Donna.
My 27 year old son (only child) graduated from
Academy January 13, 2017 and became a Pheonix Police Officer. He has been on patrol with his Field Training Officer approximately 12 weeks and will be going out solo in approximately 4-5 weeks and I am scared to death every day.
I have become a daily clock watcher needing to know how much I should be worrying. Is he on his way to work, at work, at dinner, getting off work, still stuck at work, doing paperwork now back at the station, on his way home, home. How do I even know he made it home?Is it Friday yet? His first day off, I'm ready for my 3 day reprieve.
I have never been so scared and worried every day about him our entire life. Him making an error or doing something wrong is not my concern, it is the other 1,000's of Phoenix inhabitants that make me worry. They don't care if he goes home at night. They don't care that they would be taking the most precious gift of my life away from me.
While I am so proud of him. And I am captivated by his enthusiasm and animation when he is talking about his training, calls, and experiences since joining the academy and being out on patrol. All of that is
stamped out when the ugly thoughts of heart gripping fear of something happening to him holds my heart and mind prisoner at various times of the day. Living ceases until these ugly thoughts that other LEO families know as realities pass. And I go on.
I wish I could hear from other LEO Parents New, in the middle, and the seasoned veterans, and even you who have had the very sad tragedy of losing your child.
How have you coped. How do you deal with your scarey thoughts and when you can't sleep.
My brother-in-law is also a Pheonix Police Officer so my sister deals with this also but we don't seem to be much support for each other.
We each have our own separate worries and concerns. Maybe as time goes on we will see things more similarly.
I would love to hear anyone's thoughts, ideas, worries and concerns. My thanks, prayers and thoughts to all Law Enforcement Officers across the globe.
Donna

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