Sharing!

Jenni - posted on 07/03/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I loved the episode on Sesame Street where all the characters became afflicted with Minetitus. Has anyone else seen that one?



So at what age do children generally master sharing: 6-8 years old. Until then, it is always a work in progress.



How have you ladies encouraged sharing?

What hurdles did you/are you encountering?

Any tips?



I'm still in the midst of encouraging my children to share (they're 3 and 4). Considering they are so close in age it has been very difficult! But we've come a long way and lately have had very few issues with it. The eldest two really seem to have a good grasp on it amongst themselves and friends.



However, there is a new issue developing between my 3 year old and 1 year old. For some reason he is always trying to take toys off her. I'm constantly saying, "Ok, give it back to her. She had it first." I feel like a broken record. Ugh.



He understands turn taking and waiting until someone is done playing with a toy when playing with his older sister or other kids. But it seems all the rules of sharing go out the window when playing with his younger sister.



Anyways, don't just concentrate on my little scenerio there! Feel free to discuss sharing in general and your own experiences.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

JuLeah - posted on 07/03/2011

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Giving them power helps, so I teach kids to say, "When you are done with that can I have it?"

I teach older kids to 'trade' with younger kids and not just 'take'

And somethings, speical blankets, teddies, don't have to be shared ... I don't share my car with just anyone, I don't even share my CD's with just anyone :)

Playing WITH kids is great, because you can share the crayons, take turns playing games, trade toys .... teach them by doing.

Mro2936 - posted on 07/04/2011

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well i've found with my 3 children that give and take seems to be the key. if a smaller child is always trying to take things from an older child try trading with that child for a different toy. also i find that buying certain toys each child that belongs to them and they have control over helps. it works like this. each child has his own toys. he can choose to let people play with them or not. however they other children have the same choice. so if they want to play with something that belongs to another child they know they are going to have to let them play with their toys as well. I think this is also a good life lesson. kinda of a "you get what you give" lesson. it has worked great with my children. but as we all know every child is an individual and what works well for one may not work well for the other. so i hope my ideas are helpful and good luck.

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J is a wonderful sharer, if I do say so myself! He is an only child, so we were prepared (and adamantly warned) to expect the worst and to have major issues teaching this life lesson....as it turns out, this is the one thing we've not struggled with :P

We make it a point to share within our family, and we play a lot of board games to encourage taking turns, sharing, etc. It seems far fetched, but the skills really do transfer to other situations. We've been playing games with him since he was about 1 yr old--the Cat in the Hat has a great series of games for little ones.

Another thing with J is that being an only, it is a big treat to be able to play with another kid, so he is overly accommodating. He knows if he doesn't share, or if the kid is not having a good time, the kid will leave, so he makes a point to keep the kid happy.

Jenni - posted on 07/04/2011

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Thanks Maria, I have a tendency to 'make' my kids share all their toys with each other. Other than sleep toys. I should probably allow them to have their own toys and leave it up to them to decide if they're going to share. I sort of have a double standard with my 3 and 1 year old. I tell him he can't play with her toys when she wants them. :/ but I don't hold her to the same standard because she's younger than him. So maybe that's the root of the issue between the two of them.

JuLeah - posted on 07/04/2011

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@ Chatty ... thanks. Your post made me smile. I can picture that.

We are all so much better sharing when the toys are not ours ... when they are all new and there is no emotionally attachment to any of them

Stifler's - posted on 07/03/2011

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My kid is 18 months adn is really passive. Someone else will take or snatch his toy and he doesn't care just moves on to something else. My friends and I all encourage sharing and if we see snatching and the kid who'se been snatched from crying we make the kid who snatched give it back and wait their turn.

[deleted account]

JuLeah, you're so smart. I always love your answers. ♥

I swear Roxanne is the best little sharer UNTIL we're around other children and HER toys. All bets are off then. At home with me and her dad, she's so polite. "Can I please have that when you're done, mommy?" ...... "Do you want one of my dollies to play with, mommy?"

She's very generous until another pint size shorty intrudes on HER stuff.

She also plays extremely well with older kids. My nieces are 5 & 8. No problems with them.

Ugh. Like you said, it's a work in progress.

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