help me please...

Nicole - posted on 02/11/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




how do i not take it personal and at the same time change the behavior when it is issues that have been talked about, explained in great lengths and my child keep doing it like what i say doesn't matter b/c i won't do anything about it anyway. For example putting three loads of laundry into one load...or doing their chores completely which are not excessive at all, and when i remind i hear yes mom i know...but i get up the next morning and it is not done...I used to just do it myself when i was a stay at home mom but i have not for a couple years now. They all have a chore list of daily things, very easy and age appropriate. My children know that in the past i was too tired to check to make sure things were done and i also have been a softy and never followed thru with i am and have been doing these thing and becoming more consistant in following thru but i could use any advice or suggestions anyone may have b/c i am really at my witts end. Thanks ahead of time...


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[deleted account]

Hi Nicole, I am glad to knw we are all not alone. My three have a hard time staying on task with chores and the week that I am too tired to follow up is the week that no chores get done. The week I have energy, and follow up, the chores get done and we all feel better.

My husband and I started attaching their allowance on Sundays to their weekly chores and their room cleaning. Each day they need to ''check off'' their chores they are responsible for on a chart in the mudroom. Each child only has two- three small chores a day. The kids get a reduction in allowance for chores that were not done and if when the hour comes for allowance, their room is not clean.

I have tried attaching it to privledges, but attaching it to their allowance and letting them either get or not get it seems to be more effectivee b/c they control the out come and its not a punishment.

I hope something in this helps. DiAnna

[deleted account]

Seriously, looking through all of these posts has really made me feel much better.  I was starting to think my 12 yo son had a brain tumor!  The kid does exactly the opposite of anything I say, and looks at me like I'm a total retard.  I tell him I need him to do a chore or do his homework, he says he will, then I check back in a few hours and guess what?  Now, I'm thinking my kid is just doing the same thing every other kid does in this age group....

Tania - posted on 03/06/2009




Angela and Nicole our daughters must of all been hit with that same lazy stick because my soon to be (tomorrow) 12 year old recently had the same problem until my husband heard a funny story on the radio of what a dad did to his 14yr old daughter when she ran away from home for 3 days. When she got home he had moved all her clothes, belongings basically everything but 1 school uniform and a mattress sheet pillow and blanket. He locked the rest of her things in a storage container and padlocked it. She had to spend the next month or so in just her uniform, she had to go out to dinner in it, where ever they went that is all she had to wear. So finding inspiration from this story my husband urged my daughter to clean her room over the weekend or face the consequences, of course she didn't clean it so my husband having an RDO from work stripped her room of everything but her clothes and bed. Funnily enough though she likes it like this as she only has clothes to pick up and nothing else. It hasn't stopped her being lazy there is just less to have to get her to clean than before.

Angela - posted on 02/12/2009




It's good to know I am not the only one.  I just think it is the age and they are pushing us to see how far they can go.  My daughters room is a disgusting pig sty.  There are clothes all over the place.  She has to walk over garbage to get to her bed.  We have been telling her to clean for 2 weeks; taking away her cell phone, not letting friends come over, not letting her do things etc...  and nothing has worked.  This morning, my husband lost it and completly screamed at her.  He told her she was on her own if she knows it all and can do it by herself then go ahead.  I don't know if that was the right answer but she saw he was angry.  I am going to sit both of my girls down, 11 & 8 this evening.  They are going to stay in their rooms until they are done.  The only time out is to go to the bathroom and do their chores.  I will give them their meals in their rooms etc....  I remember doing that with my sister when I was a kid.  I used to stay in my room for 3 or so days.  We would play and fight, play and fight, sleep and fight until we didn't want to stay in there anymore then we cleaned.    Maybe that's it.  If that doesn't work, don't talk to them.  Don't cook for them or do the laundry, let them learn the respect they don't have have.  I think I just convinced myself what I was going to do. 

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