Desperate mom, needs help

Nayyara - posted on 02/09/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




I enrolled my three years old son in a preschool in playgroup in October. He went there very happily for two-three months. After winter break, he went to school without any problem. Then he could not go to school for four days as he was ill. Now he suddenly refused to go to school. The whole thing started with statements "kids step over my hands and hurt me". I talked to his teacher and she told me its nothing to worry about, sometimes at play time kids mistakenly step over each others hands and we instruct them to put their hands in their lap when play sitting on the floor. Then one day when I woke him up to get ready for school, he started crying badly that I wont go, kids beat me. I tried to assure him that it wont happen, I talked to his teacher again but she says it is not true. Nobody hit him, he is making excuses to avoid school. Now its story of each day. He cries real hard, refuses to eat breakfast, I forcefully dress him up and drop him to school. His teacher suggested to do so and assured the problem will be solved. But things are getting worse. Since yesterday he cries after each half hour saying kids beat me. Don’t send me to school. Today I didn’t send him to school and went there to talk to teacher once again. She told me he does not take interest in coloring activity and when coloring task starts, he sleeps which I think is natural after so much crying and fuss in the morning. I am really confused what’s going on. Any idea what can be reason of all this and how should I handle the situation?


Karley - posted on 03/08/2012




It sounds to me like he just might not be ready for preschool just yet....Maybe wait until he is four years old, and try again. If you don't think that could be the case then I would suggest going to the library/book store and getting some books about how much fun school is, making new friends, learning new things in school, etc....Read him a new book about those topics each night and maybe that would help.

I know that when my son had a hard time going to school I started setting up playdates with some of his classmates from preschool and have them over to play, and that made a world of difference.

I hope these ideas help. I know what it is like to drop off your child to school and have to hear them scream and cry for you to come back, but in the long run, I think that tough love in this kind of situation is the best policy. Some parents can't stomach doing that, though. So, in the long run, it is your child and you need to do what you feel is right for him.

I hope you find a solution that fits for you and your son real soon! Good Luck!

Elfrieda - posted on 02/13/2012




Are you able to volunteer there or otherwise spend a day there? You'd be able to see more of what is going on, and it might help associate a feeling of safety to the preschool for your son.

If that doesn't work, it might be a good idea to take him out and try again next year or wait until Kindergarten. Maybe he's just not old enough.


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Katherine - posted on 03/09/2012




I agree with Karley and Elfrieda. But I would be concerned with him saying that kids beat him up. Why would he lie about that? I think you should be a teacher's helper one day so you CAN see what goes on. Otherwise you'll never know.

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