So frustrated with my 4 year olds behavior.

Jenn - posted on 05/25/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Over the past 2 months, my son's behavior has gone from good to VERY bad. He doesn't listen anymore, hurts his little brother, and throws tantrums about ANYTHING - very small issues are HUGE to him. We've tried time out - 1 min for each year or age, that does nothing. We have tried putting him in the corner, that does nothing. I'm completely out of ideas and it's driving me crazy that he can't even behave for 1 day. We do encourage good behavior and he does get praise when he has a good day but those are far and few between these days. His Preschool teacher suggested he stay at home if he's going to misbehave in her class. This really upset me since he was doing very well and we'd never had an issue with him until just recently. I'm not sure what's going on and when we try to talk to him about anything, he's out to lunch, focusing on everything else around him. What should I do?? If anyone has any ideas, I'd be very appreciative.

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Lori - posted on 07/26/2012

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I'd also add to keep praising even little accomplishments. Don't wait for a whole day of being good. Maybe he was good for a quick stop at the grocery store. Praise that.

Another thing I've found really helps my 4 year old is talking about where we're going, and what behavior is expected of her. "We're going to the mall. Mommy has some shopping to do, and if you can stay close to me, and not touch things in the store while Mommy does her shopping then we can stop and play at the play area. At the play area I expect you to play nice with the other kids, and stay in the play area only. And when I tell you it's time to go, I don't want to hear any complaining. I expect you to say Yes, Mommy, and then put your shoes on so we can go."

It's amazing the difference in behavior when I remember to have this conversation with her before an activity. Even though we've done the play area at the mall before, and I've told her before that if she screams when it's time to leave somewhere fun then I have to stop taking her to fun places, it just doesn't stick from one time to the next. And yes, I have to remind her to not pick up things in the store while I'm shopping, but it's not a fight like it would have been without the conversation before about expected behaviors.

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Katherine - posted on 07/13/2012

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Wow, so sorry no one responded to your post! It's been 2 months.

I would do a rewards chart. I can't believe his teacher said that! She is supposed to know how to deal with things like behavior problems. He may just need a little more incentive to keep his behavior in check. I did rewards charts with both of my girls and they worked out pretty well.

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