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Do you give your children rewards for doing chores?

Some parents feel chores are a responsibility of all children and they shouldn't be given anything in return. Others feels their kids work should be rewarded, just like in the real world. What do you do with your own children?

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29  Answers

9 1

We have "Personal Responsibilities" and "Available Work" at our house. Every person has "Personal Responsibilities" because that's the privilege of being a part of this family and living in this home. Once your "Personal Responsibilities" have been met you may seek "Available Work" that goes above and beyond to serve the family or benefit others ... for which you may earn additional privileges or cash. I keep charts for "Personal Responsibilities" and a white board for "Available Work." The "Personal Responsibilities" chart includes the consequences for not meeting your responsibilities. The "Available Work" board includes the reward. You are not eligible for "Available Work" until your "Personal Responsibilities" have been met. I never pay for unsatisfactory or incomplete work ... and yes, your attitude can get you fired!

0 0

Hi Kimberly. We have a similar method at our house but I would love to hear more about your Personal Responsibilities chart and consequences as well as what some of your Available Work includes. We have 5 kids and I feel like I'm always giving out chores instead of opportunities. Just trying to re-vamp our current system.

9 1

My Personal Responsibilities are very similar to what most people have listed ... clean your room, put away your laundry, pick up your toys, do your homework, etc. but I also include community household chores like washing dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, trash, pets, and such. If they children don't meet their responsibilities the consequence is usually an extension of the original chore (if you forgot to sweep now you must sweep and mop ... mopping by the way is a chore you could have gotten paid for, or forgot to pick up toys now you have to pick up, clean them and re-organize them or surrender them until they have been earned back, you didn't do your dishes, you eat off dirty dishes and you must now wash your dishes, my dishes and the dishes of the little kids and help me with the cooking dishes for FREE) or loss of privileges such as TV time, computer time, or missing special activities or for my teens they may owe me FREE babysitting time of the younger children. So if you didn't do your homework you might be giving me a 30 minute computer coupon. If you forgot to feed the pets, your plate will be on the table empty and you will sit through dinner with us but you won't be eating, after all the dog didn't have any other choice! Missing a meal or two never killed anyone and it sure improves the memory and makes the next meal look great! When I take away an activity I want it to make an impact so if you lost the privilege to go to soccer practice because homework was not done we will still be driving to practice where the child explains to the coach and apologizes to the coach and team and then we sit at practice and do the homework and if the homework gets finished during practice time we still just watch but the child does not get to participate. I tend to hang out a little after practice just in case friends are curious why my child was sitting out and require my child to answer honestly for him/her self. So on to Available Work and this is where I include many of the same jobs other people have listed as those they pay their kids for such as mowing the lawn or other yard work, meal prep or cooking a meal, doing some of the laundry, scrubbing toilets, cleaning showers/tubs, scrubbing pots and pans, no automatic dishwasher at my house, cleaning ceiling fans, scrubbing out trash cans, clearing down cob webs, cleaning mini blinds (I HATE that job!), cleaning porches and decks, washing interior and exterior windows, any variety of "Mom's" household chores, car detailing, and anything on my To Do List that the children should be capable of doing, etc. TV time and computer time is very limited at my house so these are a big deal to earn and the kids scramble to "gain control" so to speak. For TV I give out coupons that allow the child to select the the show or dvd and coupons for 30 minute time slots. Life recently got ugly for a teen who was very excited for the Hunger Games dvd to get home and then only had a single 30 minute tv coupon ... she enjoyed the first 30 minutes and then had to head for her room ... she'll be waiting a week or two before I make that dvd available again but I bet she has enough 30 minute coupons to watch the whole thing! Money is also another big motivation as I require the children to pay their own way for a great many things. For example, we are currently planning a trip to the local water park. I will be purchasing the tickets and providing sack lunch and plenty of water but that's it. If you earn money you could perhaps buy a soda or lunch or a treat like funnel cake or those monster sized cinnamon rolls, instead of just the sack lunch I will provide or water park t-shirt or special attraction. You don't have any money? Oh well, sorry! I have no trouble telling my kids NO! They know in advance and I stand my ground. After about age 10 they are also responsible for the purchase for a birthday gift for friend's party and for having money to do things with friends such as going skating or to a movie. This teaches them to SAVE and BUDGET and plan in advance. Mom is not an ATM for lack of planning on your part! My teens are past the coupon concept so this is translated to a "checkbook" tracking system. It's a good way to teach this life skill! For my teens that are not driving but always need a ride I make transportation deposits in the form of one-way-trips. For my teen drivers ... and I am smiling as I say this ... car privilege deposits are like magic! Life is not fair and the sooner they learn it the better. WORK equals privilege, WORK equals money, and WORK equals success ... and it IS within your control, I will not be responsible for your work or your consequences. For some starting out this system may seem like an impossibility in getting your children to accept the consequences or losses but if you are calm, firm and consistent they will learn VERY quickly. My patience on the front end has paid off MANY, MANY, MANY times over! I have always used this system and the greatest number of kids living at home at one time has been 13, most of them my own and some long term, live-in teens. And I will note that due to a broad age range in my house there are certain Available Work chores that are only for the little ones such as cleaning the small bathroom trash cans or folding and putting away wash rags and dish towels or shaking out kitchen rugs, dusting the coffee tables and end tables, clipping coupons, etc.

1 2

This system you have sounds awsome!!! I may have to incorporate some of your odeas ibto our system. I especially like the coupons for screen time. Thanks for sharing!!!!

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42 25

I think they should be rewarded for some chores as it will teach them the value of work. What they should not be rewarded for is picking up after themselves or cleaning their room or when they get older doing their laundry. These are things they are going to have to do whether they are living at home, in a dorm or on their own. Cleaning the fridge, bathroom, mopping are chores worth rewarding. Yes, they will also have to do this at some point in their lives but rewarding them for the work they put forth when done properly will yield rewards of its own.

21 0

Certain chores, in my opinion, should be the responsibility of the child as a member of the household. I give verbal praise for a job well done and/or doing it without having to be asked multiple times. Additionally, I occasionally offer money for chores. The opportunity to earn something extra.

here is my list:

room cleaning
personal laundry
bussing dishes and putting them in dishwasher
helping to clear the table/ clean up dinner
caring for their pets

all of these are primary responsibilities as a family member

additionally I offer for $$:
lawn mowing for (to the older kids)
garden and houseplant watering
reorganizational projects
deep cleaning of the bathroom

there are times when I expect them to contribute beyond their regular household chores without pay...just because I need some help.

Sometimes I have to remind them, when they complain about the chores, lack of payment or whatever, that I work, go to school, parent them etc, I put a roof over their heads, clothing on their bodies, food in their belly, and provide various recreational activities and items to them.

They are getting paid!

6 20

I do not give rewards for keeping their rooms clean, cleaning up messes they made or putting their clothes away. I do however give them money or some kind of reward for doing something that contributes to the whole household such as washing dishes, taking out the trash, vacuuming, sweeping or mopping floors, laundry for someone besides themself or yardwork. I feel this teaches them that they do have responsibilities whether rewarded or not but that extra work can be rewarding.

2 9

Our 3 kids (8 6 and 5) all fold their own laundry, put it away, keep their rooms clean, beds made, bathroom floor picked up of towels and dirty clothes, take care of and rinse dinner plates. As far as cleaning the house, the reward is we all get done and have more time together. But if they ask for something, they will take on extra, if my daughter (8) wants a new doll or something, her chores adjust to the $ of toy. Not for birthdays and such, but that's what we do to help instill the truth that extra goodies cost extra effort.

1 0

This is a new method we are using this year for our kids to earn allowance. They have chores and if they are done correctly, then they receive allowance between .25-.50 cents. This gives them a way to set up a goal to save for something. Our kids already have already talked about saving for Six Flags tickets!

7 29

I have four lovely children at home. We have a chart which has four very basic chores on it that all the kids must do daily: dishes, tending to our pet's needs, and helping with meals. These chores are just part of our lives, so are not paid. When they complain about them, I remind them, especially in regards to caring for our pets, that I do what I have to do, as a single mom, to take care of them and they must give their pets the same care and concern. We don't do "allowance", or use that term. Following the advice of Dave Ramsey -- teacher and author of "Financial Peace University", using "allowance" gives kids the idea of entitlements, which sets a bad mind set for their futures. So, we have a system where they can EARN "Commissions" for additional chores they undertake to help myself or the household. These have included deep cleaning or organizing a certain area of the house, or cleaning out the car completely. We have either settled on a flat fee for the job, or paid by the hour. And we do that on a case by case basis, and they can chose to take the job or not. The basic household chores are non-negotiable and their personal care: showering, cleaning their rooms, bathrooms messes and doing their laundry are simply their responsibility. I work full time, so have to impress upon them the fact that they must maintain responsibility for themselves. They are all honor roll students, who are self motivated to do well in school and be responsible, giving citizens in our church and community, so I know I'm doing a good job as a parent!

7 0

I'm a sophomore and I get a small/medium monthly allowance for doing chores, but I primarily have to do them out of responsibility.

0 0

Yes of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

65 0

I make it fun for my kids too do chores and act responisble and how i do that is i have a big dry earse picture and it has 1 house on it with 3 windows in it and there names in each window. each corner then in the middle it has chores and i let them pick the chore they wanna do and every time they do it and complete it i let them put a star in there window with a dry earse marker and then at the end of the week i see who has the most stars in there windows and whoever that is gets too go wherever they wanna go for a couple hours and go have fun my 4 year old made me laugh and said mommy lets go too the spa and i said well you earned it so we went and it was fun.My son will go with his dad or me he picks witch one and he went with his dad too the arcade and he went out too eat so it's a fun way too be competive and too have fun but have chores done.So there reward in my house is praise,hugs,and where would you like too go this week and with who?Then at the end of the year we count each star and whoever has the most stars gets too go get something that they want and it can be very expincive or very cheap. If they earn it then i give it too them try my method it will be a fun way too get things done and NEVER punish for not doing chores rember that this should be something that they wanna do and that if they dont then they don't get a star. Star's should be given for every chore they do correctly even if they do 5 chores then they get 5 stars.

9 0

I expect them to do their chores as it is a responsibility. However, if they have been doing well I will give them an allowance of ten dollars per kid. I am glad I chose to do so, because some of my kid's friends (ages eleven and twelve) have no idea how to use a washing machine, or how to clean a toilet properly, or cook for themselves. My kids have not been pampered like their friends have, and therefore they'll be better prepared in life. And by giving them allowance, it teaches them to work hard to earn what you want. Even if it means scrubbing out the toilet you share with your brother ;)

59 0

I used to think that if I lived by the golden rule: I would pick up toys, kids come say thanks mom what can I do for you? Surprise! No one did. I learned about a unique and very immediate reward list that helped me accomplish just that. I comes from a book called From Combat Zone to Love at Home: The Happy Face Token System. The family program seems to come with the consistency factor built in and the children want to respond to my requests happily, the first-time asked. This book is an answer to my prayer. I was a frustrated mom and had lost the joy in Motherhood! Within a month the children were jumping for things to do so they could earn happy face tokens to cash in on a very unique reward list. It doesn't involve expensive gifts or toys. In fact, it is simple things like, NOT feed the dog, or Stay up an extra half hour on a school night. There are no specific points for doing deeds, that is the unique twist, only for spending. It creates an atomosphere of creative helping, self-regulation and improvement, learning skills, and social manners that are difficult to teach otherwise. Sibling rivalry and temper tantrums are nearly cut out by virtue of the way the program is set up. It is the ultimate parenting survival manual for frustrated parents and it's guaranteed for 30 days for children K4-13. It even comes with a parenting survival kit CD with print ready charts and parenting class explaining the program with the book. I was especially impressed with the 30 day risk-free guarantee! I don't know of any parenting program that is guaranteed so it was worth the try. It works! The program is made with mom's happiness in mind. I am beginning to find joy in my journey of motherhood again!

216 0

We give allowance for chores.

39 0

Yes, it is a responsibility they should all learn but giving them a little booster won't hurt. Plus, whenever they feel like their good deeds are rewarded, they'll find chores a positive thing to do, right? But don't give them too much reward because they'll end up doing things and ALWAYS ask for something in return. Better to stay balanced. :) As for me, whenever my children finish tidying up their rooms, I let them play with my smart devices for an hour or two but they should be playing with apps that are educational and healthy for them like the Maddie and Matt series which teaches them good manners. ( That's all! I hope I was able to help!

1 2

Recently we have added my fiancee and his two children to our family. That makes us now a family of 7. I just started an incentive chart for the younger three (5,7,7) and "money sticks" for the older two (10,12) all of the children have age appropriate chores that must be done daily.When I started this I sat down for a family meeting and asked the midgets ( thats what we jokinbly call the younger 3) if we went to the store and they could have anything they wanted what would it be. They each picked an item for thier "prize". Thier charts have 25 spaces for stickers each. Once thier chart is full they will get thier reward. They earn stickers by doing thier chores and getting good reports from teachers and completing all homework.They also lose stickers for thier bad choices.....talking back fighting with siblings ect. The older two work very much the same but have sticks to place in an envelope. They will earn allowance according to the number of sticks they have at the end of the week. They too will lose them for thier bad choices. If they dont have at least 15 sticks they get no allowance for that week. Having a chart as a visual reminder of thier progress seems tofor be a good motivator

0 13

We actually pay our 7 year old $10 a week for chores, but she helps to buy things that she wants. So if she wants Scholastic Books or a DS game she has to help pay for it. It teaches her that nothing comes for free and that you have to work and get paid for things

0 15

My thoughts on this topic is,
Parents should be taking the opportunity to teach their kids the chores by helping them to see the independance and self worth they will have. Meaning, by having our children do their share of the chores it teaches them that:
1. Cleanliness which provides a sense of good self esteem and worth
2. Responsibility of taking care of the life and environment
3. It also teaches consequences for not doing the job or half doing the job (in real life there are always natural consquences both positive and negative for all that we do)
4. Realistically we all have to have some kind of original incentive to motivate ourselves why would it be any different for our children.
5. By paying them or giving some type of reward also shows the kids that they will be rewarded for working hard and doing a great job.
6. Don't forget even if they get paid some how or way, a nice thank you is appreciated.

0 20

I think that by rewarding them you show them that in life, a job well done is rewarded, and that if they half way do it the reward is not great. It motivates them also so the parents don't have to nag as much. I think a good allowance amount when they are young is $1 for every year of age. Example $7.00 for a 7 year old.

0 5

We just started giving our kids (5,7,9) a weekly allowance that is not contingent on chores. I explained to them it is a "salary" for doing their jobs throughout the week- primarily being a student and taking care of their stuff around the house. I did work out a morning plan where they can earn up to an extra $1 a day for getting out of the house on time and completing all extra jobs as well. I found an allowance app for my iPhone and, now that the kids are earning cash, they are responsible for their "wants". We will continue to cover "needs" and special family activities, such as going to a movie or museum, but they need to cough up the dough for "wants", such as candy/treats at the movie or a souvenir at the museum. This is new for us, but the iPhone app helps greatly and it helps kids understand "needs" and "wants".

27 35

I feel every person in your household has a responsibility to keep it up; My daughter is six and she is respobsible for picking up behind herself. That is as it should be and teaches her to be responsible BUT I have recently begun trying to impart the value of money to her and for that reason, she has been given a chore; she sets the table and after each meal, she cleans off the table as well. She receives an allowance for this. She has three jars labelled "savings" "spending" and "sharing" and divides her money between them. I am just using it as a learning tool at this time.

1 27

I don't feel children should be rewarded for taking care of things that simply need to be done to maintain a household (laundry, cleaning dishes, dusting, general cleaning). If they go out of there way to do something extra without asking, I have sometimes rewarded them with money or buying an item they've wanted or need. My kids have not been able to benefit from an allowance. If they have asked for something out of the ordinary, then I've tried to design a way for them to do some form of work in order to be compensated.

7 7

My kids have unpaid chores and paid chores, they move their chore chart when chores are done, and earn $0.25 per paid chore. If all paid and unpaid chores are done at the end of the week they get a "bonus" My 13 year old can earn $12.00, my 9 year old can earn $8.00 a week with her bonus, my 5 year old is at $4.00. Their chores are based on what they should be able to do and remember to do as well.

If they are saving for a special gift they can keep the money in their banks, if not half must go into their savings account.

10 7

You can give rewards for doing some of the chores like cleaning up after their mess without being told and doing the dishes but not for cleaing their rooms. sometimes even if you don't give them anything, a thank you would also make a big difference it shows that their hard work is much appreciated.

1 12

We just began a chore "chart" with our 7 year old daughter. She helped make a monthly dry-erase calendar to track the "chores" she completes. It is totally on her own motivation. Each chore is worth a number of "points", each point is worth $ .25. This is totally on her own, but so far she has been completely self-motivated to "earn" her own money, and track what she does. She has talked about starting a savings. I think this is great and is teaching her money skills, along with how to clean (dusting, vacuuming, dishes, etc.) and gives her self pride in taking care of her room and the house.

0 0

I love this idea. What are the chores and what are their assigned point values?

28 8

Yes, children should receive some type of reward for chores (outside of their own bedrooms or picking up after themselves).

2 52

our children (15, 8 & 19 months) have set tasks that need to be done each day.. they get money every fortnight depending on what tasks have been completed.. each task has a monetry value.. they can earn up to $30.. if their tasks are not completed at the end of each day, not only do they not get paid for those tasks but they have a 24 hr electrical ban.. no ipod, tv, music etc... they also have a set bed time.. if they arent IN bed by that time then a 1/2 hr penalty applies for the next night.. even our 19 month old picks up his toys before bed and puts his clothes in the wash

243 64

I think chores done around the house in the common area should be rewarded in some way. After all, the adults do their chores, then buy what they want, when they can of course. However, cleaning their own room and laundry should not be rewarded, as it is their own stuff. I think the kids should be rewarded for helping the rest of the family in some way, not for taking care of themselves. In the real world, you don't get paid for doing your job so much as, you get paid for helping the company for whom you work.

5 5

they live in the house, they help to keep it in order. When they're off on their own no one is going to pay them to keep their place clean. the parents don't get paid to do all the things they do to keep the house running, why should the kids?

1 0

We tried the whole reward system for chores, but it never worked with my oldest. The first time he didn't do what he was supposed to and didn't get a reward, he was done, no more doing chores for him. He was also told by his grandmother that chores are a punishment. He should only be doing them when he's in trouble. I think he should be doing chores to learn how to do things in the real world. No one taught my husband how to do laundry, he never had to cook for himself, I had to teach him how to do things. I don't want my kids to go through that!

21 0

I feel ya. My daughters father and his mother both told my daughter that she shouldn't have to do the chores she does and I am mean for making her do bonus daughter has never been told that as far as I know, but has minimal to no chores at her mom's house from what I understand. She does her chores here with minimal complaint and her mother respects our method. My oldest son has to be badgered to do his chores...he does them eventually but usually only to the minimum acceptable proficiency. That being said...he can't go with his pals or play video games etc if he hasn't finished them.

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