The Circle of Moms site will be discontinued on March 1st, 2020. Head to POPSUGAR Family's Facebook page for more community discussions.

Let's Go >>

How can I get my kid's father to see them regularly without canceling?

If you have any questions, please check our FAQ page

7  Answers

19 24

Don't bother trying. It is not worth it. The kids feel guilty like they did something wrong and that is why daddy cancels, or not important enough for him to be there and you get frustrated and angry and resentful because you were probably looking forward to a break. You should document each and every time you make a "date" with him to see the kids and he shows or cancels. You may need that information later on. Everything in email as it is time stamped and dated and you can get delivery and read confirmation. Good Luck. Don't let him make you crazy.

8 11

you can not but don't lie to the kids.... and dont let it be their fault. be very honest with the kids and say i dont know why he is missing this opportunity to spend time with such awesome kids.

5 25

You can't make him be a "father"! I'm going throuh the same thing right now. My son is 5 and his "father", whom I call a sperm doner, decided 6 months ago that now he wanted him. He has had supervised visits (with his fathers parents) which he makes excuses not to show... Now I just tell my son that we're going to "grandma and Papa's house" instead of visitation with his father. A surprise if he actually does show is better than the disappointment of expecting him to be there and not. My son also sees a counselor to help. I'm not one to lie, I just find ways to avoid it. The few times he's realized he hasn't shown, I've told him that he would have to ask his father why he wasn't there like he promised. Bottom line.... You can't force him, just be there for your kids like you always have!

20 0

You can't. My advice is to have great back up plans. Don't tell the kids about your back up until the Dad fails to show That way, if he manages to made the pick-up, they won't be disappointed.

22 19

Unfortunatly, you can not force a person to visit chilren they don't want to see, I know because I have tried for 19 yrs.
Recently a set of twins took their father to court and won visitation with compansation, meaning if father cancelled he had to pay the twins a monatary sum for his cancellation

14 22

If the father really doesn't care about seeing your child, maybe your child would be just as well off without seeing the father, especially if you have to force him. I would certainly lay low on any arguments between you & your ex. over most anything, if possible. I walked out on my 1st husband when my daughter was 3 mos. old when I was 20 because after 3+ yrs. of marriage, he was still a jerk. So then he decided he wanted nothing to do with either of us (so he wouldn't have to pay child support). I felt we'd be better off without him in our lives, so I raised her by myself (with my parents' help. I remarried, had two sons 2 1/2 yrs. & 6 mos. when my 10 1/2 yr. old daughter was killed in a freak accident while at my parents' house, & her dad had never seen her until he showed up at the funeral home, acting like the long lost dad ~ enough to make you sick. Although she had started asking questions & I was in the midst of contacting his two brothers about my daughter & him meeting, one of the brothers happened to come in town for business & called us and came by the house to visit. He took a pic of her to give it to her dad. Four days later she was they never met - not in this lifetime. Three yrs. later he was killed in a car accident. According to his older brother, her dad was just waiting until she was 18 & then try to have a relationship with her. He never paid me a cent, I never asked for any, I never ran him down in front of her, & my husband treated her just like one of does God really work in mysterious ways?? Although I've never been the same since, as a chunk of my heart died with her, but somehow my husband & I managed to raise two fine, upstanding sons (& we're just average mid-class people), with a good work ethic both whom we are very proud of today. They are now 34 & 36, both married & we have 7 grandchildren. My daughter would have turned 44 on her last BD, & yes, I still miss her - every day & it never goes away. A Dr. once told me that the best I could hope for was to not "try to get over her death" but "learn to live with her death" ~ which I've tried to do, however, I'm now 64 & still on anti-depressants for mood swings, have never been the same person I was before her death, but her death made me realize how precious life is & to make the most of every day you have with your child while they are growing up as well as when they reach adulthood, be active with whatever they're into at school, sports, etc., which we always were; they had chores to do after school; helped us rake leaves; made them get jobs to pay for their ins. policies when they started driving - each with a piece of a car we had for each to start off with, & then we gave them a better, used car for graduation, never a new car. In return, neither of them has ever had a DUI, been arrested, etc., otherwise we coped along with the longer hair, let them get their left ear pierced (which never bothered me anyway, growing up an old 'Baby Boomer' in the '60s. One son graduated college & one joined the Nat'l. Guard (served in Iraq in '03-04, came home, re-enlisted & became a Sgt., became a Policeman, was redeployed back to Iraq in 2011 & returned the week before Christmas. One works for our County & the other works for our State. Hope this has helped in some small way. Best wishes, Suziann

577 5

you can't. You don't say how long this has happened or what your relationship is like. I have been through this used to lie and say he was working broke my heart seeing them. I kept a door open for him and now they see dad alot but are old enough to have sussed out what happen. Guess im saying you can't . He may be having isssues with the spilt,give him time. X

577 5

when i say i lied they were small white ones to protect my children. The break up was very hard on them and i really didn't want to add to it. If it had continued i would have cause had to tell them the truth and from what i know of my children it did no harm. When dad was ready they were able to slip in to a good relationship. My children are now 15/23/29. They are aware of what i did and do not resent me in anyway,if anything they respect me for protecting them at such a hard time. They were always made aware that this was not their fault but as i said we don't know details or how long its been happening . It took a year for my ex to deal with it,simple reason for it is he couldn't stand saying goodbye each time. It can be very hard for men

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms