How can you tell if a child is gifted?

Sometimes anything a child does seems amazing to her mother, but how do you know when a child is actually more gifted than the average child?

If you have any questions, please check our FAQ page

40  Answers

0 0

It sounds like most of you just need another outlet to brag about your child/children. In the grand scheme of things, it will not matter how "gifted" your child is. What will matter is how well they are taught to utilize their skills and abilities.

58
2 16

Every child is different and special. We just answered a question and the best way to answer a question is with your own experiences.

0 20

I hate to respond to this but...I will. Sounds like you have a problem with this matter. If a parent /Grand parent brags about their child who does it hurt? no one. I have a grand child in the gifted program at her school, And I am very proud of her, no matter how people like you try to lessen her gifts. The board puts these children through extensive tests before they conclude a gifted child is so. they do not just take the ramblings of any parent/ Grand parent that says "My child is a special Gifted child". As for needing an outlet to brag on my grand child, You just gave me one!! Bitter much?

0 0

Really??? Should a young child really even be tested for something that is as subjective as being "gifted?"

0 9

The tests aren't simply to assess that they are gifted! It allows teachers to assess the level a child is at and give them the correct level of work to keep them interested at school and stop them getting bored. And the tests aren't formal, they are carried out in the classroom without the child even knowing. My son doesn't know he's on the gifted and talented programme, he just knows he loves maths!

0 0

Testing for "gifted" children (although you could definitely say that being gifted is subjective!) is a good thing for parents who have children that are not being challenged similarly to their peers. I have ten nephews/nieces, but one of them really stands out. She was ahead of her class, and each teacher kept taking her out and testing her and she would have to be moved. It is a hard subject...there are no clear answers. And yes, I do think it is largely subjective. But it does help to have an option for kids who are obviously bored with what they are learning. Children need to be challenged, just like adults. As for bragging, that is one of the most natural things a parent or grandparent can do. Sure, some parents go overboard, but like the lady said above, who does it hurt to brag a bit? Let's not discourage POSITIVE parenting, especially when all we hear about it the news is negative and horrible examples of parenting. AND, this is the perfect forum for moms to brag about their kids....circle of moms.

0 0

I tend to agree with Melissa. ALL children should be assessed so they can be taught at the level that will challenge them. We focus on children that are academically challenged, which is important of course, but why not put the same focus on the children who excel? They deserve the time just as much as the other kids. If we just leave gifted kids to do their own thing and not can to excel them further, what message does that send them? That by pushing yourself and doing well, you get nothing?! No. That's not fair. Funding for children with learning disabilities comes under the same umbrella of funding for gifted children: special education. And any student who qualifies for services (learning disability or gifted) deserves those services. And on a side note, one thing I hate (for those of you who are parents and grandparents of gifted kids) is when the teacher seats gifted kids next to lower ability students FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE of having them help TEACH the lower ability student. That is NOT the job of the gifted student. Of course both kids can benefit from sitting next to each other, but it is not a gifted kids job to TEACH.

0 0

My daughter is only three so I am fairly unfamiliar with testing in schools. However, my friends and I are all in the process of finding preschools. I was curious about this subject because I have a friend who feels that her child is gifted. Accordingly, she wants her child in montessori schools so that she will be taught with five and six year old children versus her peers. Although her child talks beyond her years, she is emotionally immature (I think partially due to her Mom treating her like a "gifted" child). By labeling and treating these children differently, teachers and parents are forgetting that social skills are far more important than raw potential. Every child has a right to be challenged, but "gifted" seems to be measured by overly ambitious and out-of-tune parents in many cases. This is just my experience.

0 3

You are SO right.

0 20

Yes, If the teacher refers the child because the child is more advanced that the other students to the point where the child is unhappy in class because she is not challenged by the work and is having to put her head down while the other students get finished with the work. Yes that child needs to be in a class where she/ he is learning something and has a chance to be in a class where she/he is being challenged. keeping a child in a class where there is nothing for them to learn is pointless. so sorry you do not agree, maybe you have not had to witness the sadness of a child in this situation, but I have. She was very sad everyday, didn't want to go to school because she knew everything in her first grade class already. No fault of anyone, she is just more advanced and deserves the chance to be taught on her level.

0 20

When the child need to be in a class room where she/he can learn something, yes they need to be tested. whats is the point of keeping said child in a class room where they are not learning anything on their level?

0 0

Yes indeed it is. I'm so sorry you don't have a basis for understanding. Having a gifted child is not a brag, but nearly a curse. They get bored very easily, and come up with quite creative ways to entertain themselves, which usually spells out trouble. These "gifted" children are tested to be placed in the correct learning environment. A gifted child learning with average children are often disruptive, because they finish their own work so quickly they either go on to start talking about the higher concepts of the subjects, or just do other things to wait for everyone else to catch up. If they are not tested, they do not receive the education that they need. Try to wrap your mind around that thought before judging something you obviously don't know about.

0 0

Becoming bored quickly is a symptom of childhood in general, not exclusively so-called "gifted" children. As parents/teachers, it is our job to find a way to make our children pay attention and absorb information because that is an essential part of adulthood. On any team, there will be people/children with varying degrees of ability. Each has an equal potential to learn, given the right attitude and a strong support system. Our system of education is clearly not perfect. However, it seems like so many people rely almost exclusively on it to meet the needs of their children. We should all do some research, get involved in activities that will foster our child's individual needs, etc instead of singling them out. I maintain that in many cases, these "gifted" children suffer more from being labeled then from being too smart for a given environment.

0 0

Test performed by a child psychologist can barely be called subjective... so I guess you do not know much about a topic you are being so opinionated about!

0 0

I disagree......psychology is very subjective! Please respect my opinion. Thank you and have a great weekend!

0 4

My 21 yr old was tested for the gifted program and refused because she was "too shy." She graduated a yr early from HS after being in all AP classes. Hmmm.....

6 6

Standardized assessments are used to determine if a child can be called "gifted." For anyone in a school district that does not use standardized assessments, the results cannot be valid and can be called "subjective." However, the point of standardized assessments is to take the subjectivity out of the matter. Once a child is found to be "gifted," they are not necessarily taken out of their classroom and placed in an alternate environment; in some districts, they are provided with instruction and work assignments to supplement what is being taught in the classroom. These additional learning experiences help them explore topics of interest at a higher level than their general education peers in their classroom. It's called differentiated instruction, and it's the same thing we in the field of special education do with students in need of special education services for educational difficulties. Gifted and talented education is valid and necessary, as much as "special education" for students with impairments is valid and necessary.

3 1

Regardless of the bragging aspect. Her last statement is most true. I have seen truly intellectually-gifted, amazingly smart people go nowhere in life, because they are too busy learning and understanding everything and not doing anything with the knowledge, or are too arrogant to get a long with anybody -- thinking they are better or know so much more than everybody else (which they may) but don't get anywhere due to lack of social skills. I have also seen really brilliant people excel wildly. On the other hand, I have seen incredibly dumb people become remarkably successful with wonderful families based on charm and amiability -- extreme social giftedness. I have also seen really socially-gifted people that waste all their time being social without using it to get anywhere. The key isn't how smart or charming they are, it is how they capitalize on what they are good at.

48 1

You say that the important thing is to teach each child to utilize their skills. Best argument I ever heard of for testing a child showing signs of being gifted. How are we supposed to HELP them become the people they can and should be if we have no skill or resources to challenge them? And the testing isn't subjective. It is quite detailed and distinct. These parents sharing are just trying to make find useful information to help them put their kids' skills to use!

6 18

Yes they should be tested. All children deserve to be taught in the best way for that individual child so that they have the opportunity to get the most out of their educational experience. Gifted children learn differently. So being tested provides them the proper environment so they can reach their full potential. It's no different than testing a child to discover a learning disability. If you're not aware then you're robbing that child of an incredible opportunity. Please take some time to research "gifted" and you'll see it's not subjective at all.

0 13

I think that yes, children should be tested. Gifted in the academic sense has to do with aptitudes and how the child learns. The tests also can pick up on a child that is struggling or has a learning disability. Why is it good? Because from there, a good school can tailor its approach to suit the child's needs. I was in a "gifted" program when I was a kid. It was called "enrichment" and we got to explore more challenging subjects, at a quicker pace. Some gifted children (Albert Einstein, perhaps?) don't do well in school because they aren't challenged or stimulated.

10 24

Well said Jennifer Moffett, and Tammy! As a "gifted" adult (now) myself, and having been through a rough childhood with it, and having said social problems that come with it, and sitting through classes at school that teach me next to nothing because I absorbed it all from the books that I could skim over and just "know" it, I find some of these comments pretty closed minded and insulting. I was in a "Gifted and Talented Class" since 3rd grade and taking high school classes, but that was only for an hour or two a day. "Giftedness" is a learning disability of sorts and needs to be treated as such, public schools are NOT adequately equipped to handle these children's needs. Or at least not when I was in them, and my daughter probably won't be going to them. I said in another post, I actually had my math teacher tell me that I was cheating because math "couldn't be done in your head"...until I proved it to her repeatedly.

0 0

It's so sad to read these comments and see that so many people have little to no idea what it is like to have a gifted child. This is not a brag, but as one person already commented, can be a curse in many ways. We all want the same thing--to have HAPPY children. The level of intelligence has no effect on one's happiness or their ability to go far in life. Instead, it can hinder happiness in many instances. My oldest was tested as gifted shortly after she entered school, but the signs were there from the very beginning. As a baby, her sensitivity to textures, light, noise, her abilities. I never had the chance to teach her to read--she learned so quickly, she skipped the Readers and went right into chapter books. However, her emotional age was not in synch with her intelligence-age, which was highly frustrating for her. She has little interest in social skills, as much as I have tried to get help in that aspect. Her emotional development is quite behind her peers, while her intelligence is so far beyond, it is hard for her to make friends. The other girls know she is different. There are times it is difficult at school, because her school wants her to read at her level, but she has tested at the 7th grade lexile--you do not want a young child reading 7th grade books! I has happy to meet with other parents because many understand. Not all gifted children struggle socially, but some do. I have two children and seeing the difference between them is amazing. This is not a the-parent-is-failing-to-raise-the-child-right scenario. But when my older child melts down based on frustration, some parents think that. If there was a child who is gifted socially and can make friends easily, the same connotations do not apply. We all have had issues raising our children and each child has amazing benefits and flaws. It would be nice if moms could support each other more--rather than tear each other down. A parent of a gifted child has not failed to do their job because their child gets bored easily or gets frustrated. Finally, as for IQ testing, there is much more subjectivity regarding this before 3rd grade because children do develop differently. However, after that, the error rate is generally plus or minus 5 points. While some people can have a bad day and may test lower than they are, it is much harder to fake smart. IQ tests do not have multiple choice-you know it or you don't.

10 47

Jennifer, the point of testing a child for gifted and talented programs is that if your child is gifted mentally and you don't challenge them, they will find ways to challenge themselves. As I've told people in the past, Do you want Einstein or Lex Luthor? The choice is yours, because the child will figure out a way to use their respective talents. People who have problems with Gifted and Talented programs and such may not know what it is to be intellectually ahead of the curve or what it takes to make sure that those children don't get bored and become disciplinary problems. You want your children to have the best education, yes? If a child is struggling, we help them. The same is true for a child that is excelling. They need help as well. Don't judge people who are simply looking to do the best they can for their children. Just because somebody is talking about ways in which their child excels, doesn't mean that they aren't still a scared parent, worried that they aren't doing all they can to provide for their children.

View More
14 8

All children are gifted at something. Your job as a parent is to notice what they are attracted to and give them your support in pursuing their interests, even as these interests shift and change, until they find their passions. When they find their passions, these are the areas where they will be gifted if allowed to explore and develope their intellect and curiosities to fulfillment. You will also find that they are self motivated and driven in these areas. A key to success.

46
0 59

Educators today, recognize multiple intelligences: linguistic, logical, mathematical, musical, kinesthetic, ( like dancers and athletes), intrapersonal know themselves deeply, articulate their feelings in various forms ( like poets, painters), interpersonal (great at relating with others) , spiritual . According to The Association of the Gifted, a child is gifted when the child exhibits outstanding / extraordinary capabilities in two or more of the above intelligences. For instance a child who composes music and sketches people and buildings at age 6, or one who does math or two grades above his level and learns languages quickly.

0 4

All children are gifted. I have 5 and have taught hundreds, each child is unique in their own way. Something to think about...if we say children are gifted, who gave them the gift ? We should be very careful how we view this. If a child has a natural flair for something should they really get all the accolades. Maybe we should applaude effort rather than natural gifting. I think building good character is so much more important than comparisons of natural ability.

10 47

Roz, applauding the effort is wonderful. I for one, am not talking about praise. I'm talking about programs and giving the children who ARE gifted just as much help and support that we give to the children who are struggling. As it stands, we give all of the attention and effort to the children who are behind and ignore the ones who are ahead, because we figure they'll be fine, they've got it. Meanwhile, that child is frustrated because they're bored and angry that they aren't getting the attention that they need. That too is part of building good character.

View More
Profile Picture
0 18

When the child thinks "outside the box" and understands things like wordplays, jokes and double entendres (hopefully they're clean!) at a young age. When they are creative problem solvers and have a serious thirst for knowledge.

29
Profile Picture
10 24

My two year old has her father's sense of humor..she pretends a circle is a square in the shape sorter to see if I notice.."Does this fit here? Noooo, it doesn't"..and laughs hysterically..I thought it was early for her to do this. She also has this trick where she can't quite reach the lightswitch for the kitchen, so she goes and get the box of SaranWrap and uses it as an attachment to her arm to push up the switch. I think my jaw hit the floor when she thought to do that. She amazes me everyday.

Profile Picture
36 0

Jennifer, Reading about your daughter made me laugh, because my two year old is just the same. She's got daddy's sense of humor and it is soooo funny. She makes me laugh every day with her silly "jokes". Other than that, my lo loves numbers (got that one from me) and her taste in music is just strange, she loves old school stuff like Frank Sinatra and loves the blues and soul music. I'm more of a rock fan and daddy is more into house music, but we have to cater for her taste. :)

View More
0 0

Everyone chill, because I got this, ok?

*I* grew up as a "gifted kid", in the 70's no less. I went to "schools for the gifted", took college level courses in HS and got my BA in 3 years.

"Gifted" does not mean your child is smart. "Gifted" does not mean your child can do things before other children can do. And I know this because I went to a whole school full of "gifted kids" and now, in our 40's we still discuss "what it means to be gifted".

Being Gifted means you don't look at things the way the teachers want you to.

Being Gifted means literally "thinking outside of the box"

Being Gifted means E=mc squared, but what happens after that?

It means life as the typical person knows it is frustrating to the Gifted Kid. We learn things more quickly.

Now, there is Regular Gifted...those above the 130 IQ (and for the record, I don't give a lot of credit to the IQ test process, but we'll play with this and humor the psychologists). Then there are the folks who are between 130 and 160...the point after which they become called "Profoundly Gifted", the kind of kids who learn an entire Mozart concerto in one sitting...those are the profoundly gifted.

And then there are folks at the extreme...the WAY over 160....up into the 220's. It has been said that extreme intelligence borders on insanity. I would agree.

My life as a Gifted Kid has been fraught with obstacles (one would not normally thing such a thing). I am at the "border"....157, for whatever credit you give to that number. But "gifted" stays with you your whole life. Understanding just exactly what that means is difficult.

Did you read early? eh...that doesn't necessarily meant "gifted".

But did you extrapolate what you read and then ventured hypotheses and conjectured new ideas from it? THAT is "gifted"

Does your child seem artistically talented? Yes? But does he or she use media in an usual way or seem to know exactly how to use it in a way he or she was never taught before? THAT is "gifted"

You see what I am getting at.

Gifted is both a blessing and a curse, but I prefer blessed.

Thank you for letting me vent.

22
20 24

You are right...a blessing and a curse is so true. My son. Who is now 37, was tested as part of a group for a Uni project. I knew he was smart, he questioned everything. My Mum was profoundly gifted too. She recognized the signs early. He spent his entire school life dumbing himself down just to be accepted. He wants his profoundly gifted kids to be who they are meant to be. Just recently I heard from a cousin who I hadn't seen omspoken to in 35 years. My Mums youngest sibling. Of the six cousins, 5 are profoundly gifted, I highly,gifted. They all have children now, and one or two of each of their kids is also profoundly gifted too. All of these kids have have had problems socializing, having friendships . As a parent, you want your kids to fit in, have fun, work hard etc etc. not so easy for gifted kids. Their out of the box thinking, problem solving, interests, makes them a target for bullies. The original question posed here was to help a mum get help for her child. If, because we parents and grandparents seem to others that we brag about our children.....boy have you got it wrong. We know our kids, we know what they are capable of. Their strengths and weaknesses. To all those scoffers on here.....the grass is not always greener on the other side. Most gifted kids just want to be normal, have friends and have fun, but they are the future.....they are the bright minds that will invent, solve and succeed where others don't. You should be grateful that there are gifted kids. To us, they are family and we will love, support and nurture them whether they are super intelligent or not. Oh, btw.....one of my super gifted grandchildren is also ASD. So in most peeps eyes autism kids are stupid. Not true. But that's a whole other issue.. Moon, this is not directed at you in anyway. Just chose your comment at random to respond to all the negative people on here.

2 26

Glad to hear this from a "gifted" kid point of view. What you say really ties in with my daughter except mine was never in a "gifted" program. I was constantly called to school as she would questioned teachers about stuff and often she was right. She drew up petitions to get things changed at school and often she was so darn bored. I would agree the comprehension of th books one reads at 3 or 4 is what made the difference. She was th one who questioned my authority etc etc but jusut because she wanted to know not because she was naughty. she is now 35 and doing Ok but not doing anything exceptional but she has great friends and a great marriage and a great kid her self so I have stopped feeling guilty because I didn't maybe put her in a program. There was not much info out there especially in Australia but know i did my best with the tools I had at the time.She grew up knowing she was loved and there were somethings she found easy but others didn't and that didn't make her better than others.I always told her God had given her a gift and she should use it but her sisters were given different gifts and they should use theirs too.

2 7

Ditto this is true a lot of them become lawyers and choose fields with leadership roles but yhey were born with the gift God gave them.

19 0

Yeah... what she said! LOL!

10 24

@Moon-Yes, my two yr old daughter seems to know exactly how to use many objects without being told how to..media of any kind is one of them. She sat right down at a little piano and began to play with two hands, with her eyes closed...not banging away. I was also in a "gifted" program, taking classes at the high school, since third grade (not enrolled in a separate school) I have never had my IQ tested, but would be really interested in hers, because I feel she has FAR surpassed me. I was taking a real life art class in the basement of my public library when I was seven. They kicked me out when they had a male model..lol. I currently do just about any kind of craft there is, if I don't know how to do it, I go learn..then I master it. But I have socializational issues (always have) and she does too (less so, thank goodness), I have her enrolled in daycare SOLELY for the purpose of trying to build on her social skills. I have always been told by anyone who meets me that I should be a lawyer though...my debating skills and leadership roles have taken me down a path of wanting to help people in pain through patient advocacy. Being "gifted" can make me a little confrontational sometimes though. As is my daughter, but we're working on it, she is mostly well mannered and an angel of a child as far as behavior.

View More
Profile Picture
3 22

wow...seriously how boring it is to hear about all these children being so damn smart....who really cares what your son or daughter can do at age three?? Why do you want to know if your child is gifted? To make you feel better..somehow higher than other families?? Next topic please.....

19
Profile Picture
0 13

Wow...not nice.

Profile Picture
1 27

very, very RUDE!

Profile Picture
0 16

SMH...I AGREE NOT NICE!

Profile Picture
0 20

Some people are very bitter, perhaps their child was denied a gifted program. As jealousy is not becoming of anyone, neither is bitterness towards others.

Profile Picture
0 2

Obviously your mother never taught you that "if you cannot say anything nice, do not say anything at all". What was gained from your nasty comment...other than showing what type of person you are!

Profile Picture
0 10

I've often wondered why it is socially acceptable to brag when your child is an athletic star on the football field or baseball field, wear buttons with his picture on it, have the entire extended family there to cheer him or her on etc, but if your child is gifted you are not supposed to talk about it or acknowedge it.

Profile Picture
96 0

I believe my child is gifted, early steps believes this too, as they suggested i get him tested at 3years old..But his speech is behind so im going to wait till hes 4. I like reading about other children being gifted, i feel happy for the parents and i sometimes get ideas for my child.

Profile Picture
0 22

I totally agree Emma.....My kids are all gifted in one thing or another, but I am not on here bragging. I, myself, read books well before Kindergarten, but thankfully my mother never saw the NEED to put a title on me or have me tested and put into special classes....thereby alienating me from normal classes. Thanks Mom. It just means I have passed my smarts onto my children and am thankful for that. I did test and was accepted into the Mensa society in my early 20s, but thankfully I had a normal childhood. As I am doing for my own children. Parents whom chose to test their kids and label them 'gifted', it's their choice. However, others don't care to hear about it or to listen to your bragging. That's best done within your own family.

Profile Picture
0 5

issues perhaps!! good and loving parents love to remember and tell other about what their kids could do at 3 or high grades they got in school. you sound really bitter.

Profile Picture
3 22

No issues here gals. No bitterness. I am quite happy and content to know that my two boys are just being present and enjoying a happy childhood free from pressure!! They act like nine and ten year old boys and do well in school. I have said it once and I'll say it again - its boring to hear other parents go on and on about their children's achievements. Its not something you yourself have achieved therefore keep a lid on it alright?? Why would you think complete strangers are going to want to hear about what your child can do? The only people who are even remotely interested are your relatives...ahh I feel much better now.

Profile Picture
0 1

Sorry, Emma, but I see jealousy in your words. Though talking too much about the good things our kids had done or can do is bragging and is not right, the ocassional letting other people know our feelings about our kids achievements shows that we're proud of what they do. The kids learn that we are interested in them, that we care. Your boys are gifted too, you just have to pay close attention and you'll see. God bless you, dear.

Profile Picture
0 1

Besides, the question is "How do we know...gifted?",not "How do we know bragging?" Stick to the topic; the point is helping others deal with parenting situations. Thank you.

Profile Picture
0 1

I have to say I don't really understand this comment at all. Is it not possible to look at some of the so called "bragging" comments and just think, "huh, good for them, I hope it works out" and walk on? It just comes across as rude and petty, not to mention completely unnessessary. i just think that if we could keep our negative comments to ourselves more often, the internet might just become a more pleasant place to visit. Also, as a parent of a gifted child, I can say that it does help to find others who have had similar experiences to discuss this with, as many people sometimes do find me to be "bragging", when in actuality I just want to be able to discuss this subject with someone. Having a gifted child is not always easy, and maybe where you are seeing "bragging", it is actually just people gratefully seizing upon the opportunity to be able to have a conversation about it?

Profile Picture
2 29

Jealousy cuz her's might not be? My2 yr old is very smart for her age but I'm not going to label her as gifted cuz that's not my position in life. However sure is smarter than other 2yr olds.

Profile Picture
0 0

If you have nothing to say Emma, keep quiet!

Profile Picture
12 26

People think that having a gifted child gives me the right to brag. It doesn't. It just gives me something to worry about! When a child reads 'Pharmacy' at the age of 4 and you never introduced to her 'ph' is 'f', then WHAT ELSE IS SHE READING?!?!?!?! Sooo...no...not an opp to brag--a lifetime of YIKES!! WHAT DO I DO NOW?!?!?

Profile Picture
11 0

Because Emma...many of us have had serious attention, emotionally intense, fiery fights, behavioral problems, and what seemed to be a bad attitude to deal with because of our kids being misdiagnosed with medical illness and mental disorders when all they really need is to exercise their brains, be challenged, and learn to accept and do things that aren't "as challenging as they'd like" to get along in life. Many of us have been mediating and counseling our kids based on docs saying they have attention problems, defiancy disorders, and anti-social behaviors......when they don't. As a mother, knowing my son is or is not gifted is my JOB so that I can try to provide the tools, counseling, skills, and PROPER education to make sure he doesn't "bore himself" right out of being successful. It isn't bragging, children who are gifted are also more emotional, more intense, more critical, more defiant, less responsive to rules/authority, and less likely to be good at social interactions and are often developmentally BEHIND in one (or more) areas while being extremely advanced/gifted in others. These children need just as much "help" as children who have learning disorders, mental problems, and social problems. Bragging is something that I wish I had TIME to do, lol.....and I'm not joking. Just figuring out which activity he switched to in the last 5 minutes and then 5 minutes after that is exhausting. Let alone getting phone calls telling you that your kid has defied his teacher and told her that her class is "boring" and her rules are "illogical". Trust me, that schools don't WANT kids to be gifted, ignore and deny it as much as possible, and try to assign your kid into some labeled "dysfunctional" group so that they can blame their failings as educators (at understanding and engaging highly intelligent children) on the child(ren) themselves (ie: behavioral/attention/cognitive issues).

Profile Picture
1 121

My Dear Emma I'm saddened that you think so little of the great mind of a toddler and or infant. Sad Sad Sad. Did someone tell you as a child you were not smart or pretty or friendly enough? Sounds like it and maybe you have your own personal issues with recognizing a very gifted child. Have you ever read the poem Children Learn What They Live? If not please do and sweetie read it over and over and over until you get it. I pray for you and I think your special and gifted. To bad nobody told you that when you were little.

Profile Picture
0 0

You know when you talk to your friends about your day and you mention fun things you saw your child doing or your excited to see your child interested in something or learn something and you share that with a friend. I think every parent can relate to getting excited to see their child learning and growing and understanding. Well I remember when my DD was a baby and she was slow to learn how to crawl. No one looked at me funny when I shared that or when I got excited when she did crawl even thou it was late. But when my DD turned two and could already count to 20 and recognize all of her letters and you share that you find out really quickly that that's not normal and it's not cool to share that. Why is that? I find myself trying to not talk about this stuff to my friends because I don't want them to compare and think their kid isn't smart just because they aren't doing that yet. I believe each child has a purpose and a gift that God has given them...some gifts are just more noticeable. One of my friend's heard my daughter counting and later shared that she thought maybe she shouldn't be homeschooling her 5 year old because she couldn't count like that. I felt so bad! Her daughter is a sweety and has a lot of leadership skills, which I believe my friend knows and celebrates, but she felt bad because her daughter wasn't as quick with counting. Parent's compare...they just do. So you stop sharing all the little milestones with the other mom's so they don't compare and then you feel like you don't get to celebrate your child. Or worse you feel like it's something to hide. It's nice to have a place where you can ask questions and share and not feel like you are bragging just because you want to celebrate the new things your kid comes up with. Doesn't every parent want to celebrate what their child is learning? I love seeing that development happen...whether it's a social development, a physical one or an intellectual one. I love it. It's nice to know you are not alone.

Profile Picture
0 0

Wow..It is obvious that you don't know how difficult is being the parent of a gifted child. I found out that my son is gifted so I can understand the things he does and why he does them. There are many positive and negative sides of giftedness.

Profile Picture
10 47

How about so that you can challenge your child appropriately and provide the best education for them? If your child was lagging, you would get them help. Why is it any different for people who have exceptional children? Judgemental jerks!

View More
2 9

When they drive you crazy. I,mother of 7, have 2 children who are gifted-now college age. And I am a veteran teacher of 25 years. Having recently taken a course in exceptional children at I.S.U.- wish I knew what I know now back when my children were younger. But I can tell you that both children from a very young age-questioned everything,sought answers to thing beyond their years,thought about some things differently than their peers. Both were over achievers in school. Bith were tested young and both were in gifted programs from the time they were five. My daughter read by the time she was four at a 1st-2nd grade level. Taught herself to play chess by watching others play also at age 4. She was taking high school credit classes while still in elementary school. but the downside is they don't take no for an answer,try to talk their way out of things,a often have authority issues. This makes school challenging. My son understood negative numbers and trig in 2 nd grade. But they are amazing individuals and I look forward to seeing what they do after college.

19
18 6

This sounds like my kids! (Ages 6 and 2). When they are bored they are bad. As a parent, you must work hard to keep them challenged. On the bad days, I try to remind myself I am blessed. I could have dim-witted but compliant children!!

0 11

Agreed -- often gifted-ness means that the deviation from the "norm" puts the kids into their own little worlds, and I know a ton of gifted people who, though they do great things, struggle to fit into a world of people who just don't see the world the way they do, work the way they do, etc. Social issues are real for these people at all ages, though often if they are nurtured and find a good role/peer group or other stabilizing force they can be happy people with and using their gifts in a productive way that brings them joy and abundance in life. All people have gifts -- but typically this label is used for divergent types who often have high skill levels or innate abilities who may or may not be achieving at high levels. Gifted Learning Disabled individuals have it even tougher!

0 0

@ Julie Shannon - Very well said!! It is not about bragging, it is about discovering how to best help your child operate in the world. After having my son tested, I was surprised at how much time the person spent reassuring me of my child's ablilty to socially function in society. That is not always the case for gifted people. Early testing is important for a number of different learning abilities: autism, dyslexia, etc. Giftedness is something that often requires early testing for the sake of the child ... and the parents.

0 15

Julie, You are exactly right. People don't understand why the word "gift" is used to identify these children. Yes, all children may be good at something, but the that is not the same as the type of child this article refers to.

0 0

um....i'm trying to brag i'm more looking for help i guess more then anything, my daughter is very young but has been different in a good way since birth, very strong, and aware of everything and is on her marks on everything and also ahead of herself on others. my sister just had her baby and she seems like a normal infant which is good she's adorable. what i'm trying to get at is my daughter is advancing so quickly im having trouble keeping up (remember very very young) i'm worried later i won't be able to help her with school and such. her father is really smart as well. how do i nurture her abilities and not hinder her.

10 24

@ Ashlee- Just do what you can, and if need be, once in school, she can get a tutor or help from teachers if you can't help her. Or do some studying with her. My daughter (2years old) is the same. She has the vocabulary, creativity and learning skills of probably a 4 or 5 yr old. I dropped out of school freshman year, and went back for my diploma through night school PT, (but you don't actually learn anything there) So anything I know now, is self taught, and I was labeled "gifted and talented" as well, and have been attending high school classes since third grade. So, what I'm saying is, you don't have to "know" alot when you have a smart child, in fact...you don't have to do much differently..Just provide them with the information. Books, books, books. Intellectual toys, games, etc. Also make sure her energy is spent and she is getting enough socialization. My daughter is in preschool solely for the socialization 2 days a week, because I know she is not learning anything new there. Good luck, you'll both be fine!

View More
Profile Picture
0 1

My son has a very special gift... he can work my nerves like no one else!!!

14
6 25

I think both my boys are smart (of course), but the attitude is a great indicator of a tendency toward success. My oldest son is a perfectionist, does things "right" and is a bit uptight right now (almost 4). My second son (almost 2) was born 3 weeks "late" and does everything "early". He is a morning person while my oldest is a night owl. I think the attitude that he has naturally (and I want to assume for myself as well) is to expect the best. He loves to wake up because he's exited about the day. He expects to enjoy himself, so he does. He loves to laugh, so he laughs at whatever. He expects to climb that big rock that brother did, so he gets a lot of bloody lips but oh well after a few moments of crying he's got to find his shoes and get back up there. He thinks he can talk and play and color and hop as well as brother (and Mom and Dad), so he does pretty well. He likes to say "I can!" and "I'm good at ___." And he seems to do it all effortlessly. I wouldn't label either of them "gifted" or not gifted at such a young age, but they sure are gifts to me. Their different gifts and personalities are the spice of my life. :)

11
Profile Picture
0 0

wow, really disgusted at the outcome of negative comments about this subject! We are talking about children first of all so there is no reason to get annoyed at someones comment for talking about a smart kid. There seems to be some resentment or aggression. What if the topic had been the opposite???? This is a page to help each other not bring each othe down and criticize.

10
1 17

You know your child is gifted. It is quite obivious! No one has to confirm it. When you are around average children and then see a gifted child, the differences are remarkable! You just know, I promise!

8
0 0

Children are "people" and everyone is "gifted" in one or more area's, and require support and encouragement in various aspects of our life.
What I sincerly hope is that more parents provide opportunities for growth and advancement in areas there children may not be gifted. This helps build strong and well rounded little people, who one day grow up to be big people.

I think the most "gifted" children and parents are modest and humble and understand that although they may have amazing talents, they still have so much to learn and that it is a life long endeavour.

I'll have you know, some of the most "gifted" children I have ever met where Children with various degree's of Autism. I once worked with a child that would tell you he was "Artistic", a beautiful way of looking at his amazing gifts. That child in particular , despite what many of his teachers believed, is going to be an amazing person who will invent something life changing one day.

So it isnt the child who has a sound understanding of how the world "turns" and why, or a child who spoke well before his/her peers, its not a child who asks all the questions and knows all the answers, but instead , a gifted child is one who can make anyone smile, who loves unconditionally, who can express emotion (saddness, anger, happiness), a child who believes the world is full of endless opportunities.

6
0 0

Well put.

1 0

Jamie, that is a very nice thought. But at the very end you are contradicting yourself, because people with autism have huge problems expressing emotions, or even recognizing them in others. So please, please don't put that as a part of the gifted child definition.

0 0

Actually Oana, that shows just how little you know about Autism. Yes, some Children with Autism have difficultly expressing emotion and recognizing them, but many do not- and the degree of that inability varies and depends on what part of the spectrum they are. It is common for Children with Autism to lack social skills and be quite intelligant in other areas, take Asperger syndrome as an example of that. Please do not tell me what I can include as part of the definition for gifted and what I can not, I respectfully would not suggest for an instant that your posts did not meet the qualifications for my definition .I will respect your definition, as I expect you do so to mine- Please and Thank you. Now, high IQ's is not JUST want defines a gifted child, why are we forgetting Children who display encredible Athletic abilities? Or a Child who is quite skilled at using their hands to construct something. Children who have an amazing Ability to play a musical instrument (some all by ear), and Children who are incredibly gifted at art? Google Thomas Edison , you might be suprised to learn that a lot of "famous" inventors, politicians, Atheletes, Scientist and etc.. were considered "ungifted" and went on into later years to accomplish the unimaginable.

0 0

Oana I have a child with Aspergers and I wonder if you are aware of the details on the disorder. It is true it is a social disorder but as a parent those issues are trainable. As a parent my responsibility to my daughter is to raise her so she understands her behavior and how she affects others. It is no doubt she is gifted in the areas of reading and math ... She blows the other children out of the water ... Tested and proved repeatedly. My point is because a child has autism and/or Aspergers is not a plague .... But in my opinion a trainable gift. I consider myself blessed because I can view myself in her eyes and I can think outside the box and learn from her.

View More
1 14

Just saw an article on this. Here is the link: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/10-signs-your-child-may-be-gifted-2500544/

6
0 0

I like to think my daughter is gifted, but she's only 2. She loves to sing and dance, and when I say she sang before she could talk, and danced before she could walk, I am not exaggerating. However, I was considered gifted as a child. I tested well, and my scores were high. I went to the gifted and talented program when it was available in the schools I was enrolled in, and I did very well in school and college. However, it really did not help me later in life at all. I think because everything came so easily to me at an early age, I thought it would always be like that, and the wake up call that nobody cared how smart I was when I had my first menial jobs was a little tough to swallow. My family always bragged about my accomplishments, and told me I was special, and perhaps I was an early achiever (I was enrolled and taking college classes at 12 and it was instilled in me very early on that I was supposedly smarter and a higher achiever than my peers.) However, I will assert that later in life so many of my peers went on to do much more spectacular things than I have, and that perhaps emphasizing being gifted to your child is not the wisest move to make. I want my child to feel special and let her know how smart we think she is, but to emphasize that she is in any way different, or smarter than her peers should be avoided, because it really doesn't matter. Learning good coping skills, learning to be kind, thoughtful, considerate and hardworking are all values I want to focus on more than her being "smart, gifted, or talented."

5
0 22

Being intellectually gifted is no guarantee of success in life. The person that achieves greater success is often the intelligent non-genius (IQ = 120-130) with a great work ethic and strong social skills. My husband and I were both considered gifted children and tests show our IQ's fall into that range. Academics came easily to me, social skills not so much. I may have graduated at the top of the class and had a decent work ethic, but I was late to mature socially and had zero self-confidence, a condition that has dogged me much of my adult life. My husband would qualify as profoundly gifted, yet barely graduated from high school. Why? He aced the tests, but refused to do homework, write papers, etc. He ended up enlisting in the military after high school at the tail end of the Vietnam War. Life as a private first-class was a huge wake-up call for him -- being forced to salute and say "yes, sir" to people with 40 fewer IQ points was pretty hard to swallow. He started an extension program while in the service and worked toward his bachelors one course at a time, though testing out of his entire freshman year and part of his sophomore year. He is both educated and successful now, but occasionally rues his late teens as time wasted by a foolish young man.

Our daughter, who is adopted, is not intellectually gifted. (I note here that I've found adoptive parents a lot less concerned about giftedness than biological parents. I guess it's because the child is not a reflection of our genetic makeup.) She's plenty smart and makes top grades, but testing shows a sub-genius IQ. However, she's articulate, knows how to work and is good at reading and understanding people. She'll go far. She may be gifted artistically and athletically. I don't know enough to say. I know that her art teachers have always said she's quite talented, and that she's the kid that gets the solos in the dance troupe to which she belongs. I think it probably takes more than that to be the next Picasso or Isadora Duncan. The main thing is that those pursuits give her pleasure and make our corner of the world a little more beautiful.

5
0 0

This is a little bit of a sore subject with gifted parents sometimes. Of course all children are special, but in school the term "gifted" refers to educationally gifted, which has specific criteria. I'm not sure if we can post links, but a great stop for gifted information is the Hoagie's web site at http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ . I have two children that test as gifted, and one that is 2E (twice exceptional), which is what they call children who are gifted but have another issue or learning disability (in our case ADHD). The 2E child, my son, actually tests as exceptionally gifted (there are different ranges of "giftedness"). Often gifted children aren't those children whose parents go around bragging about them and how smart they are. Gifted children often have so many issues, and although being "gifted" is a blessing, it's also a curse. A friend who also has a child with an extremely high IQ was talked to extensively when he was in PRESCHOOL about the dangers of perfectionism and the higher instances of suicide as he grows up. When my own daughter was younger it was torturous for her to do her homework because she just couldn't stand all the repetition required in the classroom. I'm referring to homework that would take hours when it should have taken 30 minutes accompanied by long heartbreaking crying sessions, all because she couldn't bring herself to write her spelling words in different colors of crayons because she already knew them and it was "baby work". She wasn't allowed to pre-test, and the school wasn't supportive. You can tell her something one time and she's got it. Now that she's older she can handle it better. My younger son has been through extensive outside-the-school testing twice, the first time in first grade. He had an extremely high activity level (almost off the charts but not yet ADHD, although that would develop later), but to complicate matters he wasn't being challenged in class. One example that I remember is his teacher telling me that she'd give every student a chance to tell her a word that began with the letter of the week, which she would then write on the board. She told me that she always had to get out a dictionary to look up my son's words (I remember one week it was "metaphorically"). When he was in elementary school I would tell everyone every year that if he wasn't challenged, he was going to be a discipline problem every time...a bored child in the classroom is not an enjoyable child to be around. My daughter's 5th grade teacher told me one time that she still uses my daughter as an example of giftedness at conferences...that my daughter might have been reading a book, while drawing a picture, while occasionally staring out the window, all at the same time, but that if she was called on to answer a question, she'd know the answer every time. Can you see the difficulty of teaching children like this? Now that my son is older, his lack of social skills is really showing, and the ADHD is more clear. Think Sheldon on "Big Bang Theory". That's my sixth grade son. He literally doesn't see how things that he says are rude, argumentative, etc. Everything has to have an explanation or logical order. I could go on and on (and on...and on...). My children are a joy, creative, imaginative, smart,...I can brag as much as the next mom! But their school experiences have been difficult, to say the least. It just something all the time...

5
2 19

Well said...I have deliberately not worked with my daughter on reading or math or any other subject so that she won't be bored when it's taught in class. She "gets" it the first time, after that, it's boring. I could have had her reading very early but I didn't because of that. Last year in kindergarten, she complained during the first two week so of school that "Kindergarten is just a repeat of pre-school mommy." So, I prepared her before school started this year that for the first couple of week, her teacher will be reviewing things from last year so she was okay with it. I like how you described your daughter reading a book, drawing a picture and looking out the window and being able to answer a question. My daughter can do the same thing. She can recall things from when she was 2 and 3 years old with amazing accuracy and details. She can recite conversations, word for word when you had no idea she was even paying attention. I have to be very careful what I say around her and have warned her teachers and daycare staff that she is paying attention even if you think she's not. Her therapist (behavior) actually said after two meeting with her, "She's very intelligent, maybe too smart", meaning...she can out think me. I find it exhausting. I have often said I wish she were just more like my 24 year old son. He struggled some with school, but didn't leave me mentally exhausted 24 hours a day.

48 1

My husband constantly got in trouble in school because he would read during class, but he was absorbing the information too! He had a math teacher tell him he must be cheating and that no one could do calculus in their head. He proved it to her by asking for random problems and answered them without writing anything down. She still tried to flunk him. They went to the principle and proved it to HIM. Larry passed. It is funny to converse with him sometimes. His brain moves so fast his mooth cannot keep up. Sometimes I have to stop him and say, "You lost me. You must have skipped a sentance in there!" And I am no slouch mentally either! He was one kid who got lost in the shuffle. In school he desperately needed to be challenged, and so before we were even married he decided that he wanted to consider homeschooling as an option. He wanted our kids to be able to work at their own pace and realize their potential in their own manner. I agreed with him. I remember stuffing the workpages (that our class had already done twice) in my desk because I was bored out of my skull. Just move on already! I am glad we did decide to educate our kids at home! Our 10yr-old takes after her father and will be starting algebra in a couple months. All my reading-age kids devour several books a week! Their reading skills are beyond and I get the chance to challenge them and also add some culture to their lives. And I also believe that each child is gifted in some way. I do believe that scholastic giftedness is celebrated too much. And as a parent I have the opportunity to help each child find their specific gift and encourage them to glorify God with it in tbeir own way!

10 24

I read my two yr old a new book (short board book usually) and by the next night, she is asking, "Ok, I will read it to you now" and she does, nearly word for word! Either she has an amazing memory or she can just absorb learning really fast. She knows if I missed a page. If I stop mid sentence, she'll finish the sentence. I'm truly stunned. I try to challenge her any way I can, because her daycare doesn't (she's just there for social stimulation) She reads flash cards (because she loves them, not me) and says, "B, B says Buh, like Ball.." (or whatever the pic is) I don't know how she knows all the phonics, I don't do it with her, she just knows it. I truly am blessed. But I know (having been in "gifted" classes myself") know what a curse it can be beneath the all the jazz, if you let it

10 24

My teacher used to fight with me as well that I was cheating, and math "could not" be done in your head. LOL..it's not funny, but it's funny to hear someone else actually say it..Some people are just hard headed. I would be finished with the worksheet five minutes after it was handed out, and then be bored..doodling for the other 40 minutes of the class. I'm going to start to go through the process of having my almost three year old tested for "giftedness" now. She has surely surpassed me when I was her age! I definitely plan to homeschool her as well. I do not believe most public schools have adequate programs in place to keep up with students that need additional lessons and attention..these children crave constant information, and schools just don't have the funding to provide what they need, unfortunately. I can also read pages by merely skimming them over, which means it takes me hours or so to read a 1000 pg book..hard to come by alot of those..lol. I download an awful lot of free books on my ereader. Luckily, my daughter looves books, and is already reading them back to me almost word for word, so either she has a near photographic memory as well or is learning to read pretty early.

View More
0 0

Hi everyone...currently I'm doing a research on parenting a young intellectual gifted child. "What are parents perspectives and experiences of parenting young intellectual gifted". I did my study with four families with gifted children. One question came up during my interview, with one parent asked me "If you talk about your child, its just talking...if I talk is it bragging?". I read the comments here, some parents are willing to share their experience by participating in this forum by answering the question "How can you tell if a child is gifted?" This question is actually for those parents who feel their child is gifted. It can be for parents who have assessed their child formally and the results clearly stated their child is indeed gifted in some areas or maybe in all. As for some other parents the word 'gifted' means in general all children are born gifted but they differ with various abilities and talents. But one thing is clear with this question is...do you think your child is gifted? If yes, how do you define those giftedness for us to understand or why your child is different from mine, can you further explain? Obviously, there is no room for parents to compare "how can you tell your child is BETTER than mine"?. Every parents have their own way of parenting...parenting any child is a challenge but parenting a gifted child adds more challenges and can create problems that are different from those of other parents. one thing need to be taken into consideration here, that is gifted parents had to learn to cope with the dissonance between their image of a 'normal' or 'average' child and their own child. parents of gifted children often have few settings to share their experience with their gifted child and their concerns about rearing a gifted child. Sometimes they hardly can talk to other parents freely or even with friends or family members about their concerns because people who do not have 'gifted' children have difficulty understanding or even believing what these parents are talking or telling about their child. If they want to share...the feedback would be 'STOP BRAGGING'. This forum is for sharing not for comparing what your child can do and what mine does...this is about sharing the parenting journey. Sometimes parenting is like riding on a roller coaster, sometimes joyful sometimes painful...all parents need support, do support each other and share your concern. For those who do not know the definition of giftedness..please do some research and homework so that you know what you have commented is actually painful for those who have gone through hardship in parenting their gifted children. God bless all.

5
9 14

Well said! There have been so many comments here that clearly shown no understanding of what defines a "gifted child". We are NOT all gifted. We are all good at different things, but that doesnt make us gifted at those things. And yes, we are all special and unique snowflakes, but being gifted does not make a child better, or their life easier, or their future more likely to be successful. Underachievement is extremely high among gifted people (myself and my husband included). As is perfectionism, depression and high levels of anxiety. Being truly gifted (assessed properly and stamped on forehead) is not the blessing or the reason to brag that many here seem to think. My 6yo son is now undergoing the testing and we have seen him struggle with how differently his brain works to other kids his age. It can be distressing, result in behavioural difficulties and low self esteem. There is a reason it is considered "special needs".

2 25

I knew my son was gifted when he was three years old. He explained as we were driving down the road that it was better for an animal to die in the woods where it would decompose and fertilize the plants. He felt when animals die on the road it was a waste. lol Also when his aunt told him a sweet story about the moon and sun sleeps when it is night or day and he later told her she lied to him and he explained about the earth turning to her and how night and day really happens that I knew. He also constantly asked questions. At 3 I had to start getting books that I could look up the answers. He didn't want a simple answer. I do not know how old your child is, but you can have them tested when they start school.

5
2 19

You just described my 6 year old daughter. I had to buy an anatomy book (childs level) when she was 4 because of her constant questions about the human body and it's organs. Her pediatrician started calling her Dr. Keira after Keira took the model of the human ear that was in the exam room and explained all the parts and names of the ear to her. Her Dr. lets her use the stethoscope to listen to both of their hearts each time we are there. The questions she asks at times drive me insane and one time I looked at her after being bombarded by them and said, "I am 47 years old and I have never in my life even thought about some of the things you ask me." I would add that she does have behavior issues, has ADHD and is going to be evaluated for ODD. She has been suspened from daycare more times than I care to mention for aggression, and was sent to the office on her 2nd day of kindergarten last year. This year has been much better and so far she has only been in trouble for talking. Her social skills are improving all the time and she is in counseling and has worked one on one with a behavior specialist at school and daycare. I will be writing soon to request taht she be tested for the gifted program at school this year as several of her teachers and the principal has suggested that she needs the extra challenge it could provide. She gets in trouble when she's bored. I wish some people weren't so quick to get defensive and say that parents are bragging. I have a 24 year old son of average intelligence who could have done better than he did in school, but he wouldn't apply himself as much as he could have. He's happily married, works full time and just had a baby girl. I'm no stranger to parenthood and had nearly 18 years of experience behind me when my daughter came along later in life so I know what I'm comparing her intelligence and personlitly too. I know of a few other parents who have gifted children and they are afraid to say anything because of the negative attitudes of many. All they want is an opportunity to yes..."brag" about their child just as any other parent wants to, but people are just way to competitive when it comes to kids. I'm finding that this is even more so this time around.

0 12

I am so disappointed right now. I saw this question & thought that I was actually going to find some good advice. Instead all I found were a bunch of petty people accusing others of bragging. I thought that I would find supportive people debating getting your child tested & ideas for finding the right school fit so that these children don't get bored & act out. Ideas to help foster a constructive learning environment from other parents who have gone through this. I thought that that was what this website was about. I won't waste my time here again.

4
1 0

Look a bit further in and just ignore some of those comments at the top (those that have been voted on most seem to be the more negative and are at the top). There are actually some great comments and good advice further on.

2 0

I have two children. One was gifted and one was a good student . The gifted child could read a newspaper at age 4 and have an intelligent conversation with an adult about the sports section. He was an excellent student and learned to keyboard in first grade.as part of the gifted and talented program. What made him stand out was that he was and excellent student in all academic areas , and also athletically and artistically. He self taught himself to play guitar and sings at weddings and for church. I did not have to ask , Is he gifted? The teachers came to me and told me . I took a class on it once and what I was told was that if their giftedness is just in a certain area, that is a talent. But when they are just as good in sciences and math as they are in Reading, English, Writing skills etc. It is a sign that they are truly "gifted". i could also drive into the mountains , spin him in a circle, with no sun light and he would know what direction he was facing. It was like he had automatic directions as a preschooler.

4
0 0

Gifted children can be very different and can be gifted in one area, but not in all areas of learning.
In my teacher/ parent experiences, the gifted can skip many steps to an understanding of something. They often are impatient and want to grab the knowledge. Most children learn in small increments, but gifted children often jump and seem to "know" things easily. I am a retired teacher and parent of two very different children. Our son was gifted early on, but he did not talk until later. When he did, he spoke in complete sentences. Many are gifted in math, but not in other subjects. If I were a parent today, I would forget about the label, and expose children to wonderful experiences, and talk to them, encourage their individual gifts as much as you can, and be positive. Enjoy them!

3
3 3

Both my children are highly gifted and to tell you the truth it is no fun (well sometimes). My son has been a brilliantly enormous challenge his whole life (pun intended). He is 15 and driving us crazy. If he does work in school (seldom) he mostly aces it. Most of the time he doesn't do it and receives F's. He barely gets through school at all. We have tried everything...literally. My daughter (13) on the other hand skipped a grade and flies through with all A's. My advice is to find out if your children are gifted (there are early signs and you probably are in a school district that will pay for the testing) and start seeking some academic freedom to help your child navigate through the 'system' of school. Treat this in the same way that you would research and find ways to help a child on the other end of the spectrum. Schools are not set up to help a highly gifted child. It was suggested to me by school officials to 'sue' the system and that they had been 'waiting for a parent like me" to sue. Talk about 'no child left behind'. We are in the top 10 largest school systems in the country.We are left behind, so the negative bragging comments are from people not in-the-know (pun intended).

3
4 0

Thank you for your comment. I have a 13 year old that has recently been tested and found that he is highly gifted in addition to Inattentive ADHD and Academic Underachievement Disorder. My son scores in the 99.9% in testing, has already taken the ACT and SAT and done very well. During his psychological testing, he was found to test as someone that had 6-8 years of college, depending on the subject. Yet, he is failing most of his classes. He has shared with me for some time that he is bored and has known his 7th grade "work" since 4th grade. It has been very difficult to get any assistance from the school system for additional and challenging work, when he is failing his classes, mainly due to not completing homework and often "in class" work as well. I have always known that my son "did well" and seemed "advanced" in his intellect. I thought I was a proud mother and having him tested never entered my mind. My son should have been tested years ago. I could have used the information regarding him being gifted as well as the diagnosis of ADHD/AUD. I feel that if I had this information in his younger years, that I would be so much further in the game in assisting my son to maximize his abilities and learning to work through his disabilities. The past several years have been a struggle and have gotten progressively worse. I pray that with the recent test results and additional education, on my part, I will be able to help my son (and our family) get through this. I am very proud of both of my children and I do agree that all children are special. However, please educated yourself in regards to your children, whether they are gifted, have learning disabilities or whatever the situation may be. Being informed is the best tool to assist your child/children in being able to have a successful and fulfilling life. Thanks to all, for your postings.

178 43

MGH, Your comment could have come directly from my mouth a few years ago. My son was miserable and his psychiatrist was worried about suicide. We found the only solution to be homeschooling so he could go at his own pace and work hard on his good days and not so much on his bad days. The principal and counselor even agreed that it would be in his best interests. He had a high A on all his tests, was in the 99th percentile on his state tests, and had scored high enough on the ACT at 10 to get into our local university, but he was failing every class due to homework and projects not being completed or not being completed correctly due to his inattention to directions and ability to consistently stay on task. He did great with homeschooling and aced his courses. We were able to get him into some more advanced subjects as well. He did fine in college, where he could mostly pick classes he was interested in.With most of the work being done outside of class, and having a day or two between classes, he could do the work in spurts if it wasn't interesting to him.

View More
1 0

As far as I can see this discussion is supposed be here to help parents who have thought that perhaps their child is gifted. So, if that is not you, perhaps you should not read these as you may feel that some people are 'bragging'. However, you may like to know why it is important for the child for their carer to be aware of their 'giftedness':

Gifted children need learning opportunities which are matched, not only to the pace of their learning (although that is very necessary), but also to the way in which they learn. Often Gifted Children's ability can be masked by their behaviour, by dyslexia or other learning disabilities which surprisingly often come hand in hand with Giftedness. It is beneficial for the child and teachers to be aware of their actual abilities and ways of learning so that they do not fall between the gaps or become a behaviour problem.


For people are are interested in finding out how you can tell if a child is gifted -

Many people (including those labeled as gifted and the parents of these children) don't really like the word "gifted". However, it is the accepted term internationally, and because of the importance of networking internationally with researchers and educators to keep up to date we feel obliged to use that term too.
Quite simply, it means someone who has truly exceptional ability in one or more fields of human understanding and endeavour.
It applies whether or not that person is actually using their ability successfully at the present time. Of course, with children, our task is to try to ensure that they can and that ultimately they do.

In their areas of ability, gifted children respond more intensively than other childen. They stay focussed much longer, observe in more detail, ask more searching questions, see finer shades of meaning, build up larger vocabularies, grasp underlying principles more quickly, explore more widely, think more originally, see more possibilities. You may already have noticed these kinds of responses in your child.

There are many traits which can be used to help identify gifted children however these are often at opposites ends of the continuum e.g. some gifted children are born with strong leadership skills and are respected by their peers, other gifted children are often the exact opposite and are so different from their peers that they have few or no friends. Some sleep very very little and others seem to need more sleep than most. So, there is quite an involved assesessment process which takes into account all these behaviours as well as cognitive ability (not IQ scores as they measure only part of intelligence).
I would suggest doing what you think is best for your child. Have them assessed if you think they may be gifted and this is not being catered for, pass on the information and recomendations to your child's teacher and be your child's loudest cheerleader. This does not mean bragging to other parents, they need not know. If you find from the assessment that your child is not 'gifted' that is not a waste of time because you will still have found out more about your child's strengths and weaknesses.

3
1 0

And further more, 'Gifted' is a term used for these particular children. This does not take away from the fact that all children have gifts - as other people have mentioned. And.... being gifted is not necessarily something parents want for their children, as one 'gifted' person has commented - it can mean life is a struggle because you see things so differently. I am pretty sure there is a scary statistic for the number of suicides by the exceptionally intelligent. If THIS isn't a good reason to help cater to your child's needs/differences, than what is?

0 0

I agree with Sylvana's comment: any child that thinks "OUTSIDE THE BOX" is a unique child and 99% of the time that child will go far in life. However, in my eyes every child is also unique and capable of doing incredible things in their own ways :)

3
11 0

My gifted son had 11 word sentences at 18 months. He walked at 8.5 months. He built his first computer program at 11 years old. Now at 30 He runs an IT dept at a nationwide company and is in a Kansas city group of invited "top 10 programmers" in the city. He never went to college.

3
1 15

all three of mine are gifted in very different ways...

3
1 12

I have to say that I have always thought of Circle of Moms as a forum for us to support each other in caring for our children. I was very disappointed to see many of the cruel comments that were posted. No one would make such comments if a mother inquired about her child with Downs Syndrome or some other special need. Intellectually gifted children come with their own set of challenges for both themselves and the parents who love them.

I would suggest that you check out the website for an organization called SENG which stands for Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted. Also, there are books for both you and your child to aid in understanding their needs and your own challenge as a parent.

Hang in there! It gets easier with time.

2
63 10

Everyone is attacking this question and to me its not about bragging but how to tell if your child is gifted. I think its normal for my child who just turned two to recogonize letters, be able to say the alphabet, count to 10, name most of her body parts, speak clearly in short 4-6 word sentance, etc etc.... I am suprised when people tell me she is gifted or highly intelligent. I am not trying to brag I am simply stating a fact that Im not sure if someone is blowing smoke up my a*% or not.some times you just need to know how to tell.

2
5 0

I have two boys one is 4 and the youngest is 3. My 3 yr old has gave me signs of being more advanced even in speech, he can talk and utilize terms that are too complicated for a child his age, he knows numbers colors and some letters already. He recognizes signs in the street for buildings or local businesses. Either he is very good at observation and memory, or is he over stimulated by his brother? I dont know but I believe as a parent we need to follow the child flow and see what kind of talent he has and enjoys more.

48 1

I think she might be gifted. But even if she doesn't fit into the "gifted box" that doesn't mean she isn't very intellegent. My advice at her age is to find new ways to challenge her. Think outside the box. Make some projects, read books to her a little above her level, teach her something new. And if she is gifted, be prepared to be her advocate. Sometimes parents of really gifted kids have to fight the system to get their kids the education they need and deserve. Best of luck to you!

View More
0 46

Seriously guys? Your kids are gifted if they can think outside of the box, or can put puzzles together? That doesn't constitute your child as being "gifted"... please. I feel that ALL kids are awesome in their own way, but parents need to stop overly bragging about their kids abillities... it annoys the rest of us who are more focused on good parenting and schooling. If you think your child is gifted and can say that "animals decompose in the woods so we should eat them"... why then throw them in a program which will enhance their abilities, but don't go bragging to other parents about it... its incredibly rude and only makes you look insecure. If your kid is that gifted, it will show in their presence... you don't have to brag for them. Kids are kids, let them be that way.

2
3 22

well said Annie..I agree that kids should just be left to enjoy their childhood instead of parents putting them through tests and pushing them to achieve, achieve, achieve!!

9 14

Why is discussing your child bragging? Why is it rude? You would discuss your child with others wouldnt you? Then we have the right to discuss our children too. What IS incredibly rude is to insinuate that parents who are supporting their gifted children with their needs are NOT focused on good parenting. All we are trying to do - all any parent tries to do - is give our kids what they need in order to learn, interact with others and be happy. I dont understand where all the anger from so many commenters comes from, unless it is from feeling somehow inferior. Which no parent of a gifted child here has ever attempted to do. Chill, y'all.

48 1

So if you talk about your kid you are just sharing, but if I talk about my kid it is bragging? So you are allowed to be proud of your kid and share that, but I am not? How inconsistent is that? Parents talk about their kids. It is up to YOU to be confident in your own child's value and not insecure about some other parent being proud when they want to share how they feel their kid is great!

0 0

Bragging...hummmm...I have been looking over the comments. The question was "How can you tell if your child is gifted?" I think most people who were "bragging" were actually trying to answer the question honestly so that other parents out there will be able to recognize the same traits in their kids. Most parents of gifted kids don't share because of reactions like this. Let me share with you the first time I shared with another mother because I was a first time mom and I had NO idea what kids did at different stages. I also was dealing with post par tum and teaching my daughter was the only thing that brought me joy. (wow look at me already putting disclaimers because I am worried of your judgement) Anyway, my daughter was 12 months and I asked my friend what she was working on with her 12 month old. She said "oh just smiling and that's about it." She thought I was silly for bringing it up but then turned it on me which I immediately knew was a bad idea. I tried to back pedal and finally she forced it out of me that she knew her colors. She was surprised and I could tell embarrassed but sweetly let it go. That day I vowed I would never share again. Until your lovely post about all these "bragging parents." These parents are only sharing a smidgen of what they could share. The phrase " think outside the box" doesn't mean their kid decided to build their lego car with 3 wheels today. These parents are trying to help other parents who are struggling to help their child. Being a parent of a gifted kid is tough! Back off. Let's see if I can really show you bragging... 1 Day old-Unusual Alertness & Awareness- meant she never slept(wahooo brag brag brag) 2 weeks old- started jabbering at us(normally done at 6 months)(expected us to understand and got frustrated easier, brag brag brag) 3. took in everything the first year and a half, knew colors, letters, letter sounds, numbers, 150+ words spoken perfectly(because I didn't realize as a first time mom that we count the words that are mispronounced-i was so dumb) 4. By 2 year birthday she was fluent in English. 5. At 2 1/5 I thought to myself, "so do i teach her to read next?" So I bought the hooked on phonics set at costco and she started reading. She wouldn't let me stop. I begged her to do more the next day but she wasn't having it. 6. Sometime in there she wanted to play a game she made up called "BUY BUY BUY" SHe had a store and I would have to buy from her but I never gave her the exact amount and she would have to tell me how much change I get or how much more I have to give her. SHe also learned when her prices were too high or low. fun times. kinda...guess how long it took to clean that game up. hours. she brought stuff from all over the house to sell. Her math facts got really good but my house became a disaster. By the time she started preschool at 3 she was reading very well and read at the front of class. Now was the time for socialization. Every year a new school. by first grade she was telling me the social hierarchy of the class. Who would come to her and who she would have to go to after the first couple days of school. Oh man this is getting old to brag. I don't even remember everything, i feel bad. In preschool at 4, her teachers said she was ready for 1st grade. New school, In Kindergarten she was 2 grade levels ahead so the teacher used her as a tutor. 1st grade new school again, she was used as a guinea pig when she tested on a cognitive level of a graduate student in college. It made me so proud to have her as a guinea pig. :( She was forced to do 4th grade level extra work in a corner without any instruction. Lovely teacher. My daughter had night terrors going to her class. New school for 2nd grade; principal said that she could have taught the class when she handed her the gold presidential award. Ooops I missed an opportunity to brag. She got the gold presidential award as a kindergartener too. Serious repercussions for that from the other parents. Made her feel she didn't deserve it. 3rd grade, YAY finally made it to the gifted school. the work is going to challenge her finally. the teachers will be able to differentiate up to her level. wait what? she is highly gifted? so you don't differentiate that high? we have to go to another school? But she is happy here, we are staying. 4th grade -she reads at a high school level but her maturity can't take the content of the upper level books. Hello, she is not reading Twilight. LOL She picks up any math concept you put in front of her. She has done stuff that I can't figure out. She has done online courses through the gifted program at Stanford University and not even listened to a lecture. Still got an A in the course. i try to keep up but she passes me by. I still must have her fooled though cause she said to me. "My fear is that I won't be as smart as you mom" She is soooo much smarter than me. I don't understand all the logic questions she answers in seconds. So amazing. Even at my church it is a running joke that if you don't understand something to just ask her. Never said in front of her but said. Oh I just got an email from our church children's leader. They are having a children's program and she is placing all the emphasis of the spiritual message in her part and has placed the importance of the entire program's message on her back. Because she is so great. You said all these parents were bragging. Nope they weren't. They were just touching on their child's life. And Honestly, I barely scratched the surface. If you want the reality of a gifted child's life (not the fluff) read my original comment that is down lower in this feed. I am sure you are a great parent and focus on schooling but don't knock us for trying to help each other out.

View More
0 20

This is to all the Bitter comments I have read in here about his subject....Why read this article if you think it's rubbish? No one needed you to make harsh comments about this. You didn't even need to read it in the first place. Simply go to another article that you can relate to and leave the snide remarks to yourself. And to all the people in here that have a gifted child or Grand child 'Bravo' don't it make you feel great? I know it does me.

2
3 22

but Melissa thats the part I detest...it makes you all feel great having gifted children and that sounds like you are showing your kid up as some kind of trophy!

1 0

Emma, how horrible of you to not want someone to feel great. Are you allowed to feel great when your child achieves highly in dancing or sport? Ofcourse! Well surprise surprise, if that child is exceptionally able (ie much more able than the average child) at sports or dancing than he/she is gifted. Give us a break.

View More
0 15

we just had a gut feeling that our 7 yr old was bored in school, kept asking us to explain concepts that were beyond her grade level, loved higher level math "tricks" like multiplication in kinder, etc...we pulled her from private school, put her into the public school system with more resources, had her tested, & she was placed into our gifted/ talented school that runs 2nd - 6th...so happy we decided to do it! Even if she didn't test to "gifted" status, we felt the public school system had so much more to offer different levels of kids, both upper & lower...just my opinion.

2
3 1

My son started playing educational games on the computer very young, I thought it was normal until we realized at 18 months he was completing geometry & fractions correctly. He's in 7th grade now and his grades don't show his potential. I feel this is because things were too easy in elementary so he lost interest and never learned to study or apply himself. Those are hard things to teach to a now teenager. If you think your child is gifted, then they probably are; push them to excel ...trust your gut instinct. At 2 1/2 our daughter reprogrammed our TV & preset the timer for her favorite shows, at that point my husband and I knew we were in for trouble ( we didn't know how to work that option, she figured it out and then had to reprogram it back for us). She's 6 now & we learned to keep her busy and challenged at all times, hoping she won't get bored & lose interest like her big brother. Luckily, they are both great kids & seem to stay out of trouble, but we know boredom can lead kids down the wrong path so we are constantly on the lookout. Good luck !

0 0

Betsy, The same thing happened with my son! He attended a private school and they had him repeat kindergarten because he asked too many questions! I repeatedly asked them if he was just bored...they said "no". He got a "B" in Reading in 2nd grade. We couldn't understand this when he was read the Harry Potter books in Kindergarten! We switched him to public school for 3rd grade and after two months he was done with the levels the teacher was teaching so he went on doing independent study. He skipped 4th grade. He has received all A's since. Be careful with private schools. They are great for average kids who fit in the box, but they have no resources for those that are outside of the box!

View More
2 26

It is not all easy being the parent of a "gifted" kid. we all want our children to fulfitl their potential but if a "gifted" kid is just left alone they certainly won't. I found when my daughter was ina program over 30 years ago I learnt so much from the support of other parents, as well as I realised all my "problems" were the same as theirs. I found to I made mistakes as she was my first expecting my other kids to be at her level. she read really well at 3 and I didn't teach her. She was borrowing encyclopedias from the library at 4. She had worked out the facts of life at 4 from reading a book she found in th book shelf and understood it was something we were doing. I had not realised I needed to put all this information out of reach of a 4 year old and that she would comprehend it. In my experience the gifted kids often don't do as well through school as the very bright. I remember my daughters Grade 2 teacher saying it was easier to teach the girl with downs in her class than my daughter. I didn't want her "hot housed" so she went though school with her peers who she still relates to well. I don't think I ever saw he study and she got pretty used to things being "easy" for her. She just read stuff once and remembered it. She never seemed to have to work to achieve what she wanted academically. She could play mastermind at 3 and beat me and various other games like that. I don't think it was all because I wanted to brag about her. My other girls were so much easier and have done very well with themselves. They had to work for their grades and that has stood them in good stead.
Don't knock mothers of "gifted" kids. we do our best and we try to tackle it the best way we know and it is easier if diagnosed earlier. Anyone with a "gifted" kid I hope there is so much more info out there than there used to be. I am relieved that I only had one out of 3 as they are I guess a "special needs" kid really.

1
1 7

Maybe the question is worded badly. Maybe we should be asking "how do I maximize the talents and gifts that every child has?" Some gifted children do poorly in life because no one taught them how to cope in areas where they are not gifted. Some gifted children are never recognized as such but are just seen as problem children. Some very average children go on to achieve amazing things because they were given the opportunities to do so. I read a book called "Outliers" , which sheds some light on why some average people achieve great things and why some gifted people offer nothing back to the world. I think it is the question here that is at fault, not the comments.

1
0 0

How can there be so many gifted children - I have never heard so much nonsense. If my child is doing well at school that's great, if they get bad marks it is just cos they are bored can't possibly be that they haven't comprehended the subject or just didn't study. Wake up everyone.

1
48 1

I am sure that there are perents out there who have kids who are lazy and average who don't try. Then ol' mom there says "He is so bored with his classes! That is why... blah, blah..." But the truth is that there ARE gifted kids who flunk because they are bored to tears. And there are gifted kids constantly in trouble because they act up out of a need to be challenged. there are often other challenges too: ADHD, dyslexia and OCD. This comment shows that your experience with truly gifted kids is limited if not non-existent. Those of us who have seen or experienced this KNOW what it is like to sit in your seat and actually cry because you have been given the same worksheet for the third time, you got it perfect twice and the teacher STILL makes you do it ...again... After going through this day after day, lots of gifted kids just give up.

0 0

If you feel like your child may be gifted, then it is important to have him or her tested. Having a gifted child is good, but recognizing them and having them tested is important for his/her school work. A gifted child may be over looked because he or she gets lower grades in school. Not because they are dumb, but because they are bored and not properly challenged. My gifted child was tested, and come to find out that, in second grade, he tested out between the 4th-6th levels in concepts of all studies. When his school district changed his cirriculum, from average to more depth of his studies, his grade went from c's to a's. If your child can explain concepts that are far beyond what he or she is learning in school, or knows things no other kids his or her own age group does, you might want to have him tested.

1
0 18

Every child is gifted in some form. As a mother of 4, each 1 has their own "gifts", whether it be more artistic, intellectually, socially, even spiritually. My job as their mother is to continually challenge them to be even better and utilize those gifts in every day interactions. We can also work on areas that they are not particularly strong in, (say socially, for one of my kids). Although each child may not have the "whole" package, none is loved any more than the other.

1
0 21

Do we really need to put another label on our kids?
Seems to me that parents of 'gifted' children often need to brag and labor their child due to their OWN shortcomings. Just sayin'

1
0 21

*LABEL darn auto correct

3 22

yup,yup...you hit the nail right on the head!!

18 5

As much as we may dislike labels, they do help serve a purpose. Whether its children who struggle academically or who excel, they deserve to get the best education we can give them. As it has been pointed out, being 'gifted' is not just a matter of IQ or a parents belief in their child's superiority. Many who are 'gifted' fail to achieve their potential because they found school easy and never had to apply themselves. While I do not consider myself 'gifted', merely highly intelligent, I was often graded on my potential and not exclusively on the work I completed. Even in highschool this happened on occasion. Although some teachers, often the ones who were less familiar with me were less forgiving, meaning if I didn't apply myself I didn't receive as high of grade as I could have if I tried harder. Its not just about supplying kids with knowledge but helping them cope with the world once they become adults. Those 'gifted' kids may go on to do brilliant things, or come face-to-face with a harsh wake up call. Without knowing how best to teach them, their chances of success are lower, whichever form that you believe to be success. (Wealth, fame, contributions to society, achievements, family, friends, happiness.

0 0

If someone was in a coma but we didn't label it coma would they wake up? no. Knowing what it is helps doctors help the person stuck inside. It has been said that a gifted child is like having a 10 year old stuck in a 5 year old's body. You can't help that ten year old progress if you are treating them like a 5 year old. Their mind is potentially a ten year old but their maturity is closer to 5 so they say words like "bored" and "too easy." That is to their detriment. They also turn into class clowns because they don't have the patience of a 10 year old. Punishment ensues because the teacher sees a disobedient 5 year old who can't explain what is really going on to a 25 year old because their potential is only at 10 and no one has taught them how to speak 10 year old so they just say "I'm bored"

View More
20 24

Giftedness runs in my family. With my son, his speech patterns developed very early . Words came at an early,age, sentences began at 1 year, by 18 months he was using long and logical sentences of many words and using reasoning skils, could remember books word for word and if you missed a word, he would tell you which one. By 2 he had figured out how to play Amazing Grace on a toy organ and make it sound like the bagpipes. At 3 he was assessed with an IQ of 166. Started school and showed how smart he was, got bored with all the repetition and became the class clown and dumbed himself down because his"smarts" drew too much attention to himself.
School was boring, frustrating and no,challenge to,him. He is 37 now, got a couple of degrees and has his own consultancy business, builds computers, manages tech side of call centers...mostly self trained. Both my Grandchildren are profoundly gifted. Both could read well before starting school. Every child will show a different way.

1
13 0

If they can put puzzles together at a young age. If they can look at a group of something and say there are two or three or four of something without counting them out first. If they can sort things out. If they can identify a pattern. And the most important is if they can follow directions. My youngest at the age of two impressed her ECFE teachers with these abilities. By kindergarten she was reading. By first grade she could tell me how much change I would get back at a store if I used a $20 bill. This is both a blessing and a curse. She cried every morning about going to school...she was so bored. Finally I had a meeting with the school and we got her extra work to do because she was literally finishing her math work in three minutes while the rest of the class took 15-20. She has been in the high potential classes all the way through school. She is now in 7th grade in all the advanced classes. She tests in the top 97% of the state.

1
2,093 0

I think the only way to really know is to pay a psychologist a lot of money to do the testing. And most of the time, there's no reason to do that. It doesn't really matter for most kids. We do know the IQ of our two oldest children (it's been checked when they took part in research studies). It's well into the gifted range, but knowing they're gifted didn't really change anything for us. I was very surprised to find out that they have essentially the same IQ however, because they are such incredibly different children. It really goes to show that IQ is a very tiny part of who you are. What kids need in terms of parenting and support has very little to do with their IQ. It has a lot more to do with supporting their emotional and psychological growth and development.

0
0 0

I found a website recently. It has great information about early education and giftedness. I found it very useful.

0
0 0

Sorry, the website is: http://logicationforkids.com/Additional_Information.html

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms