How do I get my child to focus on school work?

Your child might not understand the importance of education. How do you help them focus on school and do their homework?

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10  Answers

3 68

Like many Moms, I face the constant struggle between telling my children to do things and letting them make their own choices. I want my children to come home and do their homework because they want to, and I also want them to play and have fun because, after all, they are children. If we let our children run the show then we often don't get the results we want for them, but if we don't give them the freedom and respect of their own choice then it can come back to bite us when they are older and the stakes are higher.
Here are 5 tips I use to get my children to focus on their school work.
1. Get involved. - When my children know that they are getting positive attention and support as they work through their school work, they have more confidence in themselves and tend to get their work done quickly and easily. They are reassured because I am right by their side if they need a little extra guidance and they are so proud when they can show me that they figured something out on their own.
2. Make it fun. - Sometimes I thought that being firm, rigid and strict would help my unfocused child gain focus. This was a huge misunderstanding. The truth is the more I breathed down their necks the less focused they became. (And I remembered when my father did it to me… YUCK!) Now we brainstorm at our family meetings ways to help my children make boring or hard work fun. We work through the solution together so the results are easier and much more fun! Just using Google I have found crossword puzzles to learn spelling words, sudoku puzzles to learn math, and we have even taken a family field trip to an Animal Eco Station to do a book report. Making it fun is making it happen.
3. Give them choices. - If they aren't motivated to do their school work right away, I give my kids an outlet to clear their mind so they can move into a space of greater focus and clarity. My son is active, so we shoot hoops or walk the dogs prior to getting started with his school work. My daughter is an artist, so I encourage her to do a project before sitting to focus on homework. The more I have learned how my children operate, the more success I have had in supporting the work they need to do.
4. Turn it into a game. – The last thing I want to do is fight with my kids to get them to want to do things, so I had to figure out something that made it fun to ask. The solution: my kids LOVE GAMES! We started playing them as a family when my kids were very little (a bit of early conditioning has proven to be quite effective!). I get creative with my kids and as often as I can I make their homework into a game so they are playing rather than working. It is all in how you look at it so I make it fun.
5. Make agreements. – When I was a kid my father was great at telling me what he expected from me and rarely asked me what I thought. This demand tactic never really did much for me, so with my kids I took a different approach. I began to make agreements with them. I would share what I wanted from them and they shared what they wanted from me and we ended each conversation with the question “Do you agree to that?” Beside building trust and respect in our relationship, we know what is being asked of us and what we are asking for so we achieve results or make new promises. Making agreements for our family has reduced expectation and increased our joy and fulfillment making homework time fun time. We have all learned to interact rather than react!
A little focus on some new approaches can make homework fun work!
~Good Luck from Conscious Parent Monika Zands

1 7

Woww...these are really great tips. I will definitely try to use them next time working with my kids.

2 12

i always let my girls know that education is the ultimate in life, my little daughter i have this big admiration for police in uniform she always wish to be one of them, then i tell her get education more especially doing her home work is the first step. hearing this she get down to do home work, also my other daughter.

0 5

we've had all the chats about how invaluable an education is about what they get out of achieving results. Kids are about the momment and are not thinking too much about thier future when its a choice between homework or other activity .
I'm always available to assist and offer suggestions to clarify questions.
The best remedy I found was to limit the activity that causes the most distraction; for my son its the computer and for my daughter the Iphone.
I also informed them I am in direct contact with each of the schools via email and am alerted to any homework not more excuses like i've already done it in class and handed it in..
I don't really like to offer too many incentives ( bribes); like housework ,school work is part of daily life and just needs to be done. I don't want my kids to believe there is always a reward for effort , that A they get on a test is the reward ...but I do believe in those little extras surprises for no good reason other then I love you..

0 0

I agree with your response the most out of all of these. I have an 8 year old boy who is giving me the very same excuses; now he is being punished at school w/ no recess; until he completes his missing assignments. It's so frustrating and I don't want to get in a situation where I am rewarding him for what he is supposed to be doing already. How is this going to help him later in life when there are not actual rewards for doing all kinds of work? I plan on taking away the TV and the games and making myself available and checking his work each night. Hopefully, missing his recess will be enough motivation to get it in gear!

0 79

Give night "A" on a test. Free pass from a chore for studying without being told. Create an afterschool shedule that includes 20-30 minutes of study in each subject. Surprise your child with something he or she likes when they follow the schedule for 2 weeks without being told-favfavorite meal, dessert, or shirt or jeans.r

8 1

Diet is absolutely an essential component of academic success, as well as enough rest. I feed my son traditional foods, we have almost no processed foods in the house. That means he is eating a lot of healthy fats - butter, lard, tallow, olive oil and coconut oil, cod liver oil, grass-fed meats and poultry, eggs from pasture-raised hens, organic fruits and vegetables, raw milk and cultured dairy foods like yogurt and kefir from raw milk. Most everything we eat is made from scratch. We do very few grains, and when we do them, they are properly prepared through soaking, sprouting, and fermentation. Processed grains - which is most of what you'll find at the store and consumer market, are one of the biggest culprits of health issues and related problems like behavior disorders, food allergies, auto-immune related problems, and learning and attention disorder.

We are not wealthy and I work from home, so I don't have any more time or money than anyone else. I've just made it a priority, and we do without many other things to ensure that we are as healthy as possible by using a good portion of our income to buy real food. We support a lot of local farmers and have stopped buying brand-name products, and we actually save money that way because health problems you pay for later are expensive.

Of course, I have to let my son make his own choices more and more as he's getting older, and sometimes he doesn't make the choices about eating I want. But I also know that he'll start making the connection between what he eats and how he feels. If he eats a sandwich with factory farmed meat and cheese, and soybean oil mayonnaise, and with chips cooked in rancid vegetable oils from a restaurant or maybe his grandfather has taken him to get pizza and ice cream, later on he gets to where he has congestion and isn't feeling well, or maybe a sore throat. he also loses his temper easily when he eats poorly and doesn't handle stress as well. But when he makes those connections and makes better food choices, the outcome is always better. When he eats at home, he's mostly not sick and has a much better attention span, doesn't lose his temper, and can focus a lot better.

Update - 3/9/12, I'd like to add a comment here. I just found out today that I have been blocked from making any more comments on this message service. But I have no idea why. I provide information about health and nutrition on my own site and to clients via articles I write and health coaching services. I am a professional, and always conduct myself as such. I sincerely hope no one here has reported me for posting about traditional foods as a means to assist our children in having better lives and health. I'd be very disappointed in this community if that were the case.

As parents, we need to wake up to the facts that our world is becoming more processed and toxic, and not only that nourishing foods we feed our children are essential to their success, but they are also some of the only things we really have choices over.

0 10

Hello Raine, I agree with you. Making the right choices in what we feed our children & our selves is very important. We try to eat as healthy as we can. We're not as good as you are. I have had difficulty with my son when it comes to food ever since he was a baby & it has gotten worst throughout the years. He is so picky. But we keep trying... In regard to you being blocked from making any more comments... That's rediculous! I have read some pretty silly opinions in this sight, yours was a very intelligent, educational and to the point one. Perhaps some feel threatened by the truth. We must make some changes in how we feed our families. it has gotten way out of hand. ~Carmen

0 16

I took a "Homework Survival Course" and it made such a difference in our home. When my son comes home from school at 3P we give him an hour to 'decompress' at home and enjoy time with his family. He knows at 4P it is quiet time in the house. That means the entire house is quiet, phone off the hook, no tv, no radio. The allotted time is 10 minutes per grade level. My son has a study area in our kitchen. He does his homework close by so he knows we are available to ask questions and we can guage if he's getting frustrated. We make sure all the supplies he needs for homework is close to him so he's not running around all over the house to get scissors here and crayons there. My daughter (3) colors or looks through picture books. My husband and I also read a book to show that even though we are not in school, we still regard keeping up with education and improving ourselves continuously as important. Since implementing this schedule homework time has been a breeze. I love it because I want to instill in my son when he goes off to college that study time is study time: if you work hard you can play harder later, just give yourself that allotted time to do good now.

0 10

Great suggestion! Thanx! ~C

23 61

Why do I have to go to school ?

Everyone is born for a reason,
and all need to fulfill their dream.
and become what they really want to,
A teacher maybe even a queen.

To get to where we really want to,
May actually need some kind of grade.
To become a doctor or pilot,
Or even a driver or maid.

To get to all these positions,
Requires a number of things.
Maybe languages fro speaking to others,
Or Maths to count the money you bring.

You may need to continue your studies,
Maybe read for a degree in Law.
Study Science in a lab or a clinic,
Or prepare food and meat that is raw.

You may need to go to a hospital,
And meet patients who are very sick.
Or just practice cutting and dying,
On hair that is curly and thick.

But to know how to deal with these people,
Needs practice and effort as well.
So work hard in of your subjects,
You may need them you never can tell.

Drawing challenge.
Draw a picture of you as an adult.

0 15

We talk regularly about what we want to be in life, and the path to get there. We discuss hard work and the fruits of our labor. For my daughter she is very driven it's never a challenge, for my sons I work with them individually giving them both one on one time with mom and the understanding what they are doing is very important. We discuss school, at dinner, in the car, I keep it on our daily discussion topic list so it's never too far away from what we are doing. When we see folks recognized for good things we discuss the path they chose to get to that point and the work and effort dedicated to the process. I think as long as the parents keep it on the radar and in the everyday it's easier for the children to stay focused and realize the importance overall.

5 24

You can not. You can push them... cajole them... Bribe them...control them...In the end they will get there by themselves... it may not be when the parent want's them to do, (and believe me I have been there!) but when they have experienced life to their own knowledge and when they themselves realise that you can not always take the fools way out unless you want to be a bum. The only thing we can do as parents is give them confidence in who they are, and love them for who they are, and most importantly,believe in them for who they are. Babz

5 24

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11 0

My child is having problems focusing in school. At home she does great. But when shes in school she wants to play. I have met with her teacher several times and nothing seems to work. Ive tried taken toys, tv, playtime, etc away as well as her teacher. I have been so worried and concerned because I want to help her understand how important her school work is. But all she says is, "I just don't want to do my work.." She knows how to do it. Shes very smart. Just not motivated. Any suggestions?

0 0

he just would not stay in one spot


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