How do you address teen violence?

The teen years can be challenging, both for the teen and for her mom. But it's never more challenging than when all of those hormonal changes and your teen's personal frustrations combine and become violent. What do you do to help your teen work through those problems, and keep your home safe?

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11  Answers

1 59

Make sure your teen has natural consequences for the behavior. Call the police, report the incident, request probation and counseling and anger management therapy and an adjudicated sentence (which means as long as they are a minor, and they complete terms of probation and follow court orders, their record is cleared once terms are completed and case is dismissed as if it never even happened). Teens must learn that violence is the quickest way to get themselves into trouble and end up in jail. Better to learn while they are still young than as an adult and end up with a permanent record.

17 27

Answer to teen volience is one we Mothers
do not really want to hear .
We want a quick fix for the Family of a teen
who fights not just mom ,if siblings are there
they to get stressed or at times gets beatup.
Answer is get help fast ,counciling through
a group of parents or Dr of Mental Health .
To stop the teen head on ;put your foot down
and call Tough Love Program and really do
what is said and shown you; or your see more
of your Teens violence . Tough Love hurts so
does families hurt to .
Break that cycle especially if you have other
young children and youth in the home .
Pray all be well for you

1 5

I am a volunteer victim advocate and come across clients whos teens are going through this and i encourage people to not behave like the abuser, its hard for teens because they long for that love and acceptance, my girls are 14 and 15 and i encourage them to help their friends, and they know that they can talk to me about themselves orr their friends. i think it is important to show them the cycles and behaviors of an abuser so they know what to look for.

11 7

Tough Love is really the only answer, especially when we are dealing with teens many of whom have major mental health issues such as ADHD, autism, ADD, etc.
The police can be very supportive when the violence gets to be too much (we've been there).
Thank you, Cheryl Zelimer, for your great answer.

14 30

During my oldest teenage years life was not a bowl of cherries. His choice of friends several of them in jail now . His clothing was the bigger the waist the baggier 5 sizes to big was just disgusting how I hated those years. One evening my son and his friends were in the upstair swearing and talking garbage I'm sure they had been smoking something outside the house. They were just rude. I went to ask them to leave and my son just spatted fowl words at me Well I just grabbed him held him upto the door and told him in a fowl mouth that I brought him into this world and I will dam well take him out of this world tonight. I am a small petit person. but the strenght that came over me that night was unbelieveable. That night my son his friend got a understanding of one another and I did become the physco mother as his friends told my son later that evening. My son has gone to complete college and land himself an amazing job afterwards. With my 16 year old his friends parents are having lots of problems with there teenagers with them none of them have ever been held accountable for anything they have done in the past. Set boundries and stick to them you may get backlash or even a fist threw the wall we had many over the years But stand strong and remember you teenage years and the stuff we put our parents through and we grewup I remember saying I am not going to be like my parents but guess what I became my parents strange how this happens. I have a saying for my children You will get caught because I have already done what you are going to do.

11 7

Thank you! Well said. Very important message to all moms with violent teens out there.... God Bless You! S

166 51

So many factors with teen violence. Hormones, family situations, mental health, drugs and alcohol, choice of friends, influence, parenting styles, etc. One thing I can say violence is not okay. As parents we need to establish our roles and rules. What we say goes and if they react with violence there will be dire consequences. Even though it is harsh they need to learn violence is not okay. Every action has a consequence and they need to be careful and mindful of those around them especially if they have younger siblings. Involve the police, if they have a scared straight program put them in it. If the child has mental health issues make sure the child takes their meds and seek counselling for your family. No one should live in fear in their own home.

63 1

hi guys im in this horrendous situation. my daughter is a teen and has severe mood changes. she has bipolar disorder. her mood changed this wk and one night she ripped 2 of my kitchen cupboard doors off and beat me with an astroturf trainer. i cant begin to tell you....
i did call the police which ive had to do in the past.they also sent an ambulance as she cut herself on a glass she smashed. absolute humilation .....

40 0

Hi all you mom's out there! I'm a student doing research about how Mom's buy fast food for their children and trying to make improvements in the industry. If you guys have a minute to spare to take my survey (and perhaps pass it along to your friends :) ) that would be awesome! Thanks so much!

0 0

I wish my son's would think that they have the option to strike me or their father. With reason I would call the police and let them see how the other half lives. Actual situation, I train in the martial arts and before that I was a pretty good street fighter, one swing on me or their if it didn't kill us they would surely wish they had. Afterwards, we would see about getting help for us. They better choose to leave our home and find somewhere else to live or if they called 911, I would surely make sure that the call wasn't waisted.

5 6

My oldest used to do that, react physically violently when he'd get upset...personally, i never hesitated to call the police on him...he was at least 6-inches taller than me and almost double my, he needed to learn real fast that this was absolutely NOT acceptable no matter what the this day, my youngest has NEVER attempted to try that, he knows "momma don't play" ;)

5 6

I should mention, he has PDD/NOS...still, not a reason for him acting out violently towards me, his family, or anyone else...nip it in the butt fast, i say!

63 13

I have two boys and we talk about violence not being an option. Also, we talk about how they should speak to friends who might be violent. Nothings come up yet but I hope they'll know how to react if it does.

23 0

Our TV is filled with violence and teenagers like to use this to deal with emotional events which occur such as anger when there are family problems. TV makes violence cool. Violence is learned by family members who use fear to get their own way-bullies, as are their belief systems.Violence is used and learnt to us to punish-that person deserves that. Learnt violence is used also when the first initiates it, and receives this back. Bipolar illness-illness-illness, is a seperate issue from violence. The first is a gene that has been triggered by a dysfunctional/abusive home. The later is of a child in a dysfunctional/abusive home. A bad home triggers mental illness and teaches violence and one violent to a parent shows anger to a parent and the response of the parent above is-I am the dominator because I am the boss because, and I will send in my army-police, and the police response is-yes, well we discriminate and agree with you. And what this family and system will do, is make the child into a mental criminal, rather than the parent looking at herself.

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