How do you deal with difficult family members ?

Have you ever had an issue with a difficult family member? How did you handle it? What recommendations would you give to other moms who are dealing with a difficult relative?

40  Answers

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1. Stop trying to fix it. Some people are difficult because they are deeply troubled and lack the introspection skills to resolve issues with others. If they are difficult with you, they are probably difficult with most people who present the same/similar threats to them. Do not take it personally and stop thinking that you will some day, by some miracle, make them happy.

2. When things are going well, do not blow on the embers. Don't create problems with difficult people in anticipation of them eventually becoming difficult. Most difficult people have very low self esteem or are extremely self absorbed. Both states are due to a lack of emotional growth. They are otherwise "stuck" there and do not know how to cope with life stresses maturely. Maybe they usually cope by becoming very controlling or very unreliable. A good strategy for when things are going well is to not fall into fear and paranoia mode (walking on eggshells, waiting for the "other shoe to drop"), but to remain positive with this person and to speak encouraging words. "I had a really great day. Thanks for joining us. We all had so much fun." Keep it simple.

3. Protect yourself, your children/family. If a difficult person pushes boundaries so much that it negatively affects your family, then remain firm, but loving. "I love you, but as I stated before, bedtime is at 7:30pm in this house and it's one thing that we do not compromise on. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't just try to drop by when I am bathing my children and getting them ready for bed. We cannot be on "your time" at this hour." Some people are so difficult that they see boundaries as a "challenge" and they continue to try to break them down. Remain firm and the "second level" boundaries can even be unspoken. Just lock the door and don't answer the phone, turn off the cell phone, and do not respond to repeated requests that were previously denied.

4. I also like the idea of praying. Meditation helps too. Difficult people can keep you up at night as you constantly question yourself, "am I doing the right thing? Am I really that bad that this person despises me so much? I can't BELIEVE she did/said that! I'm so hurt!!" All of these thoughts can keep you agonizing for hours. Sometimes this is the goal of a difficult person, to drive you crazy and make YOU into the crazy one...sometimes they have no idea what they are doing and cannot see beyond their own emotional needs, hence their constant inappropriate communication and actions. Because you cannot control what THEY do, it's important at the end of the day to remain centered, feeling healthy and ready to bite your tongue another day: prayer, meditation, and regular exercise!

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you just described my husband and he has come along way but still have many issues to work on I know way he has these problems but only he can deal with them. I love him so much and I have tried to make him happy. Now I have learned the hard way that he is the only one can make himself happy.

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Alli- Thank you so much for all your insight and words!! This really hit the spot for me today. You said it well and I just want to copy and paste the thing on my fridge. Its hard in the midst of so many other things to fathom why someone would be so bothersome.. but it happens alot and its sad that some would rather just avoid issues rather than heal and connect emotionally. I do both prayer and meditation and it is so great. Also journaling and diving into a personal "task" or activity that I have always wanted to try. I signed up for some prenursing courses. I have learned that the LAST thing in the world I need is to stop investing in my own emotional health and well being. I take to heart the hurts dealt to me and try to give them place to deepen my understanding and make them a scar of wisdom to give out to others and to help me better empathize and be connected and compassionate with others. I am not big on denial or avoidance but a good balance is a great thing to seek out. Great post! Oh and if its abusive though... don't handle them at all. I had someone in my life that was rude to me in front of my kid. No thanks. I have enough to worry about and I would not belittle a parent in front of the kid. You have to know your boundaries and I am 31 and still learning alot about mine. Try not to harbor hatred (I eat my own words).. I struggle with this with a particular ongoing family occurrence.. Sometimes I have to let go at least 20 times a day in little ways but its getting better.

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thanks for your wonderfull advice! i just print it! i will read it every morning! that will be my new exercise!

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This did not help my aunt is still mean i never liked her. She think the world revoles around her. I am sorry if u think this is affensvie but if u. meet her you would say the same thing. She steals my money and pick ridiculous fight. I am just saying,

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Good stuff Alli, especially no. 2. I think you assessment is dead on about low self-esteem and being controlling. Yes, great advice on how to continue biting one's tongue!

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1. Admit they are difficult. One of the hardest things about difficult people is that we either try to make them out to be evil, or we try to avoid the whole thing. Some people are in our life as a great example of how to deal with issues.
2. Know your boundaries, know your limits. Some day, you are going to be the difficult person to your 26 year old daughter/40 year old son/25 year old daughter in law, etc. - would you rather have him/her write you off, or figure out how to deal with you in a forum that will continue relationship while avoiding hurt feelngs? How you treat people now is the foundation for how your kids treat you when they decide you are difficult.
3. Have a plan. For years, we had a difficult family member that I didn't know how to deal with. She and I were more than at odds. She broke boundaries constantly, but also really wanted to be part of our family. In the end, I made my children age 10 and up responsible for time boundaries (like be back by 8pm or call - this turned out to be great training for teen years), and invited her to family occasions that were high energy and didn't require me to be inside her emotional space. In addition, I coached my older daughters when they ran into issues. Today, all of my children have better boundaries and knowledge of themselves because of the time spent with this family member.
4. Pray - I can't handle two difficult family members at the same time, and there was occasion that I just had to pray - every time, someone would leave early and/or come late.

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After responding to this question yesterday, I got to thinking about my youngest who did not spend as many years watching me weave through the tangle of emotions that come from difficult people you can't get rid of. She is low on compassion and high on defensiveness. At almost 12 yo, she still sees everybody's actions as 'annoying'. I gave her an assignment. Every day for the next two weeks, she is to tell me someone's story - why they act the way they do, or what makes their life more difficult than hers. For some reason, praying hasn't worked to teach her compassion - she just prays that God keeps the 'annoying' people away or changes them. Hopefully, this will teach her to look at people differently, and begin to discover what makes them tick so she can have compassion, humility and (may I hope) mercy.

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I am going to try this with my daughter. Her brother is very resentful of her and it comes out as anger and is hurting her self image so much. I think this will be dinner talk for a while till I see some compassion. Thank you for the great advice

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thank you i am going to try that with my 12 yr old who is dealing with a bullying situation,...both are annoying each other..him and a freind,,.,.so i will see how it works. thanks.

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Sometimes it is hard and you can get really upset and loose your cool in really difficult situations, thats when it is important to " breathe" through your nose and out of your mouth several times really deaply....... just try and let it all go, sometimes you can't come to terms that you all agree to so get away from each other. And I have found that like one person said some people are just really troubled, and you just can't help it, so let it go.

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I have actually gone through this situation. My mother-in-law! At first I tried EVERYTHING I could to get along and keep my hopes that "some day" we will get along, but when there is only one side working on it, its very hard to make things work. So Im sorry to say that in my situation, things did not work out for the best. Now days I just stay away and my husband has a relationshipwith them that hes working on but when it comes to me.....I prefer to just stay away and keep my distance. When someone treats you as a non-person, or that your not good enough for them, you tend to not want to be around them. I really am not the best to give advice on this subject. Some people just wont let you get along with them. And when they refuse to see that what they have done is very hurtful, and cannot bring themselves to appologize, but say we will agree to disagree, it just wont work. And its just better to have no contact with them. Its really a shame, because they really are missing out on things. As are we. And thats sad!

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As a Christian the best thing my mentors and God's word tells us is to ask for help to see these people through the eyes of Jesus. I guarantee this person is behaving this way all throughout their life. That saddens me and I also become acutely aware they are operating from a base of insecurity and tough stuff. Those behaviors are from a "tree" that is not healthy. We tend to take it personally yet it's the other person's "stuff" and hurt and lack of ability for whatever reason to address their issues. Some people never will. Loving the unlovable is so difficult. Yet, it is what Jesus demands of us...we get no credit for loving those easy to love. I love the feedback from Kim as well. there is no question the difficult people challenge us in ways noone else will. We either grow and become stronger or keep complaining. Also, I have had to take a hard look at what I take offense to....and as my very wise mentor said to me when I was younger and upset with someone...she said, "consider the source......do you respect that person?" I immediately said NO! And, then realized I was allowing them to set the tone for my moments and I had to start to take responsibility for how I responded. Pray...the Lord will help you ...pray before going into battle to have the heart of Jesus and strength through him...not you.. Our runway for strength a lot of times is short...Jesus' is long!

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I agree, it probably is "her hurt" that drives her to do and say the things she does. And for a few years I did over look things. But I think the last proverbial straw was broken when my children were being brought in on all of it. And that I will not excuse! I could really care less whats said or thought about me, but when someone starts in on the children(indirectly, of course)and they have done nothing, thats where I draw the line. Why would I want to bring my children around just to be used as a pawn in the sick little games?? And yes I would love to be able to have a normal careing relationship with the whole family, but should I really have to compromise MY CHILDREN to get that? Or get the illusion of it. And thats exactlly what it will be is an illusion that things are OK. Only to walk away and hear later what was said....... I do pray that things will change, but unless Im the one that basically "gives in" and lets them continue to do as they have, things will not change. This is where I have the problem. I just cant bring myself to say, "ok Ive done nothing to deserve this treatment by you, but its ok keep doing it and I'll come back for more.! I just cant do it. I guess I need more prayer!!!!

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bridgett, i totally agree with you i have the same situation with my stepdaughter who is in her 20s and sometimes you go pass seeing them through other eyes when they can be so spiteful i do not wish to discuss my situation on here but in your comment i felt you have been through exactly the same as myself it is very difficult, if they are in your space and you can not pull away it spells disaster. but i would love to have that same choice ........................ stay strong as you can not keep approaching yourself on this matter and need to pull away from negative forces x

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Bridgette I hope the situation gets better for you!

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Thanks Mum of Two Salih, I can sympathize with anyone who has gone through things like this. You try and try to "get along" even to the point of ACTING like you didnt just hear what you heard, only to be told " oh you misunderstood what was said" or you just took it wrong. Or how about you need to be more thick skinned! Thats my all time fav right there. lol and in the end your still the one who seems to be blamed for all of the trouble. Then when you finally have had enough, your being childish because you refuse to be around. Or your accused of keeping the fight going. Well Im sorry I guess I will just have to keep the fight going because Im not going to bow down to ANYONE. I love my husband dearly and would do anything for him, but when it comes to my kids and their feelings, I refuse to LET it happen. So why am I the bad one for staying away??? Im just giving them what they wanted but dont have the nerve to come out and say. My only problem is what have I EVER done to any of them for them to want to be this way? The only thing that really comforts me is the fact that I know Ive done no wrong, Ive not done ANYTHING out of spite, and I can sleep well knowing Ive done the best I could, its not my fault that have things they cant face. I do feel sorry for my husband that he longs so, for the relationship he deserves from his own family, and they just cant seem to give him the love and respect that he deserves. Its sad to know that he wants them to except him for HIM no other reason but just because hes their son, or brother. Why is that so hard for them???

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sadly that after trying to have a decent family relationship with my motherin law , she has put the final straw on the camel'sback, To have her use her son'scancer to be an excuse for notattending her Grandson's wedding is beyond ridiculous, this son is actually attending the wedding , It is so very difficult for me ,as I'm an only child with no extended family members alive , I am thankful that I have my two wonderful sons , daughterin law and future daughter in law and the best grandchildren in the world. She has done things like this since I've known her yet complains that wee treat her like "chopped liver", thereis no relationship betweenher and my family unless we initiate it andthen it's a guessing game as if she will show up , I am no done , there will be no morecontact or invitations from me , this wasthefinal act of selfish ness on her part .

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Meagan, I sent you a message. on your profile page.

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I can completely understand that feeling your having "user" whats your name? calling you user just dont feel right. lol

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Yes, I am married.......I was s single mom when I got married of a five year old that's now eleven. My husband has legally adopted my oldest son and I also have a biological younger child with my husband. When we first got married he was in the military and we really didn't have too much dealings with his family except for visits. I was thinking how lucky I was that I get along with his family........Until he got out of the military and we end up living in the same town......Now his family and I argue because my oldest son can do no right in their eyes, they treat their other grandchildren much better than they treat mine......so much drama if I financially could sometimes I feel I honestly would pick up and leave with my kids and let me passive husband move back in with mommy and daddy. I know that sounds really bad but he wont say anything to them and if I say anything its all in my head or he says he don't know what was said cause he wasn't there to hear it. OMG I hope you all don't think I am awful it's just been hard cause I love him but not them too much. Very frustrating situation, oh wow I was supposed to be giving advice not venting, sorry

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Hi! I am a new member and I already see how everyone's comments are helping me. Bridget I am exactly where you are today with my mamma bear instincts. My difficult person happens to be my husband. I am in such a predicament right now on whether to leave him or continue praying he changes. When I married my husband I had two little boys whose bio dad was barely in the picture. My oldest son and my current husband hit it off right away, they were buds! My husband and youngest son were complete opposites. Over the years he was verbally abusive, but more so to my youngest son. He completely depleted his spirited. All the while I worked a 50 hour job, kept up the home duties and fought with my husband when he was treating my youngest son horribly. I thought that was enough. My husband and I have a daughter who is now 12. About 4 years ago I came down with a chronic illness and had to quit my job of 22 years (a job I loved) and my husband's business closed at the same time my boys were juniors and senior in high school. I became very depressed dealing with emptiness syndrome with my two boys soon to graduate. After a few years I was still very sick and depressed, we lost our home and most everything we owned and my boys were going on with the next chapter in their lives. I had some very humbling times. I had a lot of time to go back and think about what I allowed my husband to do verbally and mentally to my youngest son. I told my husband I was done with our marriage. He wouldn't let go, he went to counseling and dealt with some of his issues. Well in the last 3 months I see this monster coming back out of him. He is treating our daughter just like he treated my youngest son but he doesn't realize it. I need some help with this. I have been praying, meditating and reading some awesome Christian books but still feel like I need some insight.

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I have decided to take the high road with the difficult person in my life. I do my very best to be non-confrontational and to kill them with kindness! Wherever we went together I made sure I was ALWAYS very polite, very proper, and very kind. This was not easy at first but as time went on they became less confrontational and insecure and far less difficult to deal with!
There are also subjects that I will not discuss in public...I will discuss jello recipes, I will discuss the weather and what kind of summer it has been, I will discuss how my tomato plants or lawn have responded to that weather or my new favorite book and I will discuss my children and husband in generalities such as looking forward to school or excited about the start of football season for the hubby!
By focusing on small talk it becomes easier to avoid the pitfalls of somebody feeling snubbed because I "won't talk to them" and I am able to avoid the hot button issues! It is fairly difficult to get into arguements when your discussing tomato plants! Brush over the hot button issues. If you suspect your headed for trouble then after the brush over it may be a good time to check on the kids!

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You go,Tammy!That's the way to think!I believe that positive reinforcement is a must with situations like these.It can be very challenging to be polite,and smile through it,but the longer you can withstand,the more that kindness ebbs away at the tension.Although I am around my stepsister very little,we've never really 'clicked'.She's always been really snide,so I've always returned it,until recent years.It seems the less we talk about the family(my mom,her dad),the less hateful she's been.My mom and I still deal with a lot of drama from her,but not near as much as we use to.It helps knowing she resents the marriage,so we stay away from the subject :D

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Call them out on it. If nothing changes, BE DONE with them! Nothing good comes from continuing a losing battle!

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Yep your right there Sheila!!!

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Amen Sheila!! I agree 100% :-)

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It depends.
If I am feeling well enough to handle them, I reach out and relate. If I am not doing too well, I tend to distance myself, as a protective measure. If I was always confident, self-assured, and secure in who I am, they would not bother me. If they were not my elders, but my siblings or younger than me, they would not bother me. It is because of my own vulnerabilities that makes it hard to maintain the relationships, because these particular family members have no boundaries, and do not know how to be supportive. Actually, they do the opposite, and proceed to tear me down. So I try to maintain boundaries and continue the relationships in a way that I feel comfortable and can tolerate: for short periods of time and engaging in an activity we both enjoy (rather than mostly one-on-one conversation which would end in disaster)

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Agreed - we can be sorry that the "difficult" people feel insecure etc. but we have to look after our own emotional health first if they are getting us down. This might mean having to cut contact with them temporarily (hopefully) or permanently.

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Yes i have difficult family members mostly my Grandmother and Aunt who have always treated my dad (there son and brother) appallingly, myself and my sister included - they just refuse to speak to my mom even though mom and dad have been married 36 years.
My grandmother on many an occasion has told me that my cousin is her favourite, and she loves him the most. My dad was diagnosed with cancer 7 years ago and in all that time she has NEVER once called to see how he is doing, and my Aunt has not contacted any of us in almost 4 years. The last time i spoke to my Grandmother she told me i was still carrying all my baby weight -my daughter was 4 weeks old.
One Xmas she decided to reveal a 62 year old family secret which devastated my Dad it affected his health and well being he could have happily lived not knowing, why just to be nasty.
These are just a few reasons why i have ABSOULTLY no contact with either of them for the last 4 years but believe me it has taken many years to come terms with my feelings. But i will not put my daughter through the same things as me.
The old saying is true "you can choose your friends but not your family" well yes but you can choose to have anything to do with them.
I do not need prayers or writing them letters or sitting down and having a emotional chat with them, im am a happy person with out either of them in my life - and thats how it will stay

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I am soooo sorry to hear about your Grandmother & Aunt! How awful to have seen/heard these things! Grandmother's are supposed to be very sweet & spoil the crap out of ya, not put you down & cause turmoil. I too have learned about the kind of Mother-in-law/Grandmother I want to be throughout my experiences in my lifetime. I look at everything as a learning experience & I try to apply it to my life in some way. I do believe that you should try everything, (kindness, respect, prayer) but if it affects your family & especially your children, then removing yourself from the situation is the best thing for ALL involved. I can't help but wonder what kind of a woman, KNOWING her Son has cancer, will NOT call or have any kind of contact with them. I hope & pray that your Father beats this cancer, but if not, he will definitely be in a better place. Maybe not with a loving Mother, but with a loving Father, our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.

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Ah, the joy of families!! unfortunately not only did I have a difficult family member, but my husband too. My father used to get such joy at making people cry,he was nasty and said such hurtful things and made life very difficult for everyone. The trouble was, everyone used to say 'oh, that is him for you, what do you expect', but people should not have let him keep getting away with things as that just encouraged him to get worse. My husband's family - his Mother, she has never called to ask after him/me/grandkids etc after operations/illnesses - even when any of us have been in hospital seriously ill.. he ends up eventually calling her and telling her that he is still alive! and still she only goes on about herself! unbelievable. And as for his Sister - she learnt everything from her Mother and I cannot even repeat the nasty way she has behaved, but to say that she is pure evil..

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Its amazing to me "family" is supposed to love us unconditionally. OMG - I am the second wife with two sons with my husband. He and his first wife split many years ago. She had an affair. Well, his parents (my in laws I guess you can say) favor his first son and go out of there way to make sure you know it. His son who is now 30 years old, loves the attention he gets. He is an only child from the first marriage. My mother in law is a recovering AA member. She pretends she follows the steps but is actually a dry drunk. The whole family is afraid of her. She controls everything and bullies people if you question what she does. One example, my stepson came into town. She only invited him to her house with her co dependent husband there. My boys were not invited. They were only 7 and 8 years old at the time. The past years have been horrible. She told my hubby he is out of the will, is best friends with his ex wife and has turned the family against us. My sons are the nicest boys. They don't understand why people on that side don't bother with them. They feel discarded and unloved. I HATE the holidays. His son is coming in this year to show off his future bride. It is always about him. These people make me sick to my stomach. So sad to take it out on two boys that never did a thing to hurt anyone. They are horrible grandparents, in laws and parents. I need a lot of prayer, meditation and exercise. Everyone comes to my home, I cook and host and then my stepson goes to the other side to hand out. My sons are never invited. These people are the worst - can't believe I ended up in such an unloving family. My holidays are never enjoyable. PS we tried to reconcile last year. When it came to my birthday, she refused to acknowledge it but everyone else had their birthday recognized. My husband asked her why and she said she didn't have to do anything she did not want to do. My sons (now 16 yrs and almost 15) do not want to bother with them anymore. There is a hug divide in the family. The stepson is getting married next. Can't wait to see how that is going to turn out. I guess we will be accepted to go since its time to show off his brothers to the family. What a bunch of jerks.

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This topic has been a major problem in my life. My husband and I made the HUGE mistake of building our home next to his parents. We have lived here for 7 years. We haven't had much of a relationship with his family for the past 5 years.

My in-laws even lived with us for a few months while their house was getting finished. They moved in a few days after our first baby was born.

I thought the conflict between his family and ours would destroy our marriage. We tried setting boundaries, writing letters, having discussions, and even going to a mediator. Nothing worked. Finally we decided to pull away completely. Even though we live next door, we do not attend family functions. My four year old doesn't even know his grandparents.

It has been difficult. I used to have nightmares of my in-laws attacking me. We have cried a lot and had marital arguments. However, keeping our distance seems to help. No contact brings peace.

A wonderful book I read is called "Toxic In-laws - Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage by Susan Forward Ph.D.

I have learned that I am still a good person even if my in-laws despise me. I am a good wife and mother and I can raise my children in a loving immediate family. My husband and I can focus on strengthening our family unit. We do not need to allow his family in to harm us. We are the parents and we have the right to set the boundaries for our family. Our marriage comes first.

I always tell myself that I have gone through this pain for a reason. I hope it has taught me how to treat my children and their spouses in the future. I often think about the kind of mother-in-law and grandmother I want to be.

Yes I mourn that my children do not have sweet grandparents that plan cute holiday events for them, get excited to attend their preschool graduations, and such. However, I realize my children are shielded from the hurt and manipulation that mostly made up my in-laws personality.

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Thank you for this!! I have read a lot of advice here, agree with the praying and trying to see what it is that is hurting the in-law, but you hit the nail on the head. I have to realize that I am a good person even though my sister-in-law does not think so. She doesn't seem to get along with many people. and unfortunately I am one of them. My kids will probably never really know my two nephews now, and even my nephews (5 and 3) seem to be distancing themselves from me, as we aren't invited to their house anymore, etc., but no matter what, I have to accept that she does not like me, and get over it. I am a good person, and a good mother and wife. and what she thinks of me is completely based on a misunderstanding that she refuses to see. Thanks!

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One thought premise that has really helped me with someone that is determined that I am a "bad guy" is that she really NEEDS for me to be- so that she can feel better. No matter what I do, she will find something negative, because that is what she wants. I act in a way that is civil and don't do things I will regret later, and I keep space between us, but when something sets her off (such as not making my husband lunch) and she is trying to cause drama about it to other family members, I just remember that it is what she wants. I am doing her a favor hahaha! And do not participate in it in any way. Including letting others know I don't need to hear what she is saying about me. I don't think we should have to be around family members that are verbally abusive, especially when we have kids that are affected. I don't think it's a good idea to teach our kids we have to put up with people that are difficult, as if they are responsible for managing the other person's behavior. It is just wrong only so many levels! I will be civil to difficult people but I will keep space from them. I don't have to have that in my life!

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Sandy, I really like your comment about how the person really NEEDS you to mess up to feel good. Your comment about not wanting to hear about what they think of you is also smart. If you don't hear it, you are less likely to get worked up about it. In our marriage, we have found that every time my in-laws would e-mail or send hurtful things, it was just best to delete it or tear it up. Saving things like that is only harmful.

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My in-laws always despise me. Even though we used to be close until I married their son and moved him to FLA from BUFF. I also avoid his family altogether, family gatherings, etc. I refuse to be treated poorly. At 47 I have earned the right to be treated as the exceptional wife and mother I am.

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Thats right Dianna! And you DONT HAVE to put up with it!!

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OMG Beth, Tara, and Sandy all three of you have made some very helpful points here for me. I so wish we could totally disassociate ourselves with his family the problem with that is he is just too close to his family and he would only resent me in the end if we did that. My sister and law and I are just a lost cause because my sister (my husband's brother's wife) used to date my current husband in high school so ever since she has met me she has hated me. To be honest shes not really my cup of tea either shes loud and has to be the center of everyone's attention all the time so IDK in the situations I am going through with his family I am in no place to give advice but if anyone has any for me I am more than willing to take it.

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It is a sad thing to go through, when you feel that nothing works to try to be nice to my sister in law is just a waste of time. She has made up her mind, that she doesn't like me. She actually ignores me. She will invite me to her family events and when I am there, she acts like she's really busy..(but she's not) she's just walking around. She seems to be discecting my conversations with her, making out like referring to her or her family members. I think she's trying to discredit me. I can't figure her out, our conversations together don't run smoothly at all, like when I speak with anyone else. I think she has made up her mind from day one, she didn't like me. I have given up on the whole thing. She & her husband, my husbands brother and all thier kids, I feel have a grudge about me. I haven't been to any family gatherings on my husband side because I feel alone. Who wants to go to a gathering feeling like that? What really got it going was a hand made gift I made for my brother in law, my husbands brother. They all sat there when he opened it up, it was a BBQ apron. While one of thier adult children yelled to me, why don't you just buy one. I was appauled by the comment. I spent hours on that stupid thing!!! No one said anything, you could hear a pin drop in a room of 20 people! My husband even just sat there, he's the one who asked me to make it! I wasn't looking for appraisal, but I didn't expect that kind of reaction. I was upset for a couple of weeks, then I decided to let the person who said this know it was uncalled for. Then came the nasty messages on my husbands FB account for months!! We had to unfriendly her. My husband brother knows of the situation. It's been 2& 1/2 years now. I just can't bring myself to be around them any longer. Am I wrong, to be this way. I figured, they obviously just don't care about me, so I don't subject myself to that side if the family.

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I'll be honest with you..sometimes the best thing to do is to confront them in a loving way..For years we stayed away from her or just stayed quiet and let her have her way, but it wasen't until we decided to always put her in her place right then and there that we started to see a change in her and was able to now deal with her. Of course we did it in love and didn't in a way that was not rude or provoking just making them aware of their actions and words. Hope this advice is helpful to others.

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Ah the joys of family...reading all these comments makes me feel normal :-)

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I was thinking the same thing....And after reading other replies think that my rude, inappropriate and overbearing mother in law maybe isn't so bad.

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if possible leave them alone. i dont have time for a lot of foolish.

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All of you have made great points.
You can not give anyone control of you unless you allow it. Just pray for them and ignore the small stuff. I tell my children, now 13 & 10, everyone has a reason for acting the way they are. This is a life lesson with everyone we deal with. When someone is hurtful or putting you down, just don't react negatively back. Be polite, short and firm, knowing it's not about you. Then walk away and pray for them. They obviously need all the prayer they can get.

There is however a line that must not be crossed. When there is physical violence. I grew up with an extremely dysfunctional family. Every time we would get together, there would be some kind of violent act. When I became a step-mother to two daughter's, age 5 & 6, and there was an "outbreak", I pulled away form my family realizing I didn't want them to see it.
I did call them when I found out I was pregnant with my 1st child and left a message on their answering machine. My eldest sister told me they listened while I left the message but didn't pick up and didn't call back either. Called again when I gave birth. Same deal. Wasn't until my daughter was one and we went to my Aunt & Uncle's wedding anniversary party did they get to meet her. I stupidly handed my daughter to my father and said "This is your 12th grandchild". We slowly tried to have a relationship with them only to be the recipients of another "outbreak/attach" in front of my children.
I haven't seen my parents or siblings in 10 years. I pray for them to find love in their hearts and I really hope they do. I just have to protect my family. They shouldn't have to live with the violence that I did. It took me a long time in therapy to understand that my parents did not love me and are not capable of love.

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User Pepe, Thats so sad. Im sorry you had to live with this for so long. But your are right for staying away. Your children DONT DESERVE TO be put through a life of hurtful hatred. Your being the best mom you can and you be proud that you are doing your best to raise healthy/ mentally healthy children. Thanks for breaking the cycle of abuse! I grew up in an alcoholic home and violent abuse was the norm. So I can understand the 10years of silence. You did reach out with no return, thats on them not you. Just know that your not to blame for their actions then or now. We cant control what other people do but we can control what we do. And I think you are doing the right thing. Pat yourself on the back and keep on being the good mother that you are. They are missing out on a very loving daughter and Im sure some wonderful grand children.! My prayers are with you.

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Thank you, so much, Bridget! I'm so sorry that you had to live through the same experience. I now look at it as an example of how not to be with my family. I appreciate all the blessings in my life and never take them for granted. God bless you!

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i think when a family member is sometimes grating on you, you have to stop and think "do they always make me feel like this or am i in a different head space today" I think if they always make you feel this way then probably best to have as little contact as possible with them, and if you have to spend time with them, try and have other people around to take the burden from you. If they don't always make you feel this way then maybe its you having a bad day. Recognise this so you dont carry negative feelings about someone through to your next meeting with them, you could lose a really good friend this way.

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Pauline, This is good advice. I do think harboring bad feelings needs to be addressed and how one deals with that either by boundaries, prayer, or other family members helping out matters. I like the fact that you say we could be in a particular head space, or perhaps the other person. I went to a workshop on dealing with negative behaviour. the director had a box of Q tips. she said QTIP stands for Quit Taking It Personally.

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I thought only Asians got difficult relationship with mother in law or their children. i found alot of amazing advices here. Thanks. I have a really difficult sis-in-law. She use to scold me ugly and nasty remarks. She didnt even turn up for my marriage customary tea ceremony culture. Cause I re-married to his brother. She Call me names and seems to look down on divorcee. Well, I ignore and stay at my room. She dont leave with us but use to come around for dinner as Mum in law look after her kids. I even get depression cause of it when pregnant. Luckily now, all is better.. Cause of this my hubby have a big fight with her. My mum in law is an ok person, takes very good care of the family. But she often tell others about how great her daughter and children are, they are richer, they buy good stuffs etc.. All good things are her daughter and all the lousy bad things are us. Even I given birth, i never let her takes care of our son cause i know she cant handle.. She is bias always. The only thing I can do is IGnore, pretend deaf and act ignorance. I've never ever scream or shouted back, the most i'll ignore and show them I'm unhappy..
Its best npt to stay together. Dont meet up often. Stay away. cause the poor one is our husband, to stand up for us, he will be like sandwich between his family and us so just leave if possible. I'm happy cause my house is coming and I'm leaving for my own nest.. Cheers!

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Belle, Never feel like you are any less of a person to them! Because it sounds to me that you are a lot better person then any of them will ever be. As for mum in law saying how wonderful her children are....well the truth is that anyone who knows them, and knows them well, will know the truth. Instead of ignoring and pretending to be deaf to it all, maybe now that you will have your own home you can stand up for yourself and your children. You may have to be respectful to them while your in their homes, but when your in YOUR home, they need to understand its YOUR HOME and you WILL NOT be treated bad in your home. As for your husband feeling like a sandwich between you and his family, I can understand he wants to please them, but he needs to know that you and your children deserve the same from him. And maybe he should let them know it hurts him for them to treat you as they do. Try talking with your husband and let him understand that he has another family that he should be protecting. And that is YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN! Maybe that will help him see that its not right for his mum and brothers and sisters to treat you badly. That he loves you and it hurts HIM to see YOU being hurt. My husband had to finally stand up and tell them that if they cant except me as his wife and my children as his own then he will have to stay away as well. And he did. He stayed away for about 7 years. We all live in the same town, but we didnt run into them much. I thought that after 7 years things would have gotten better but they didnt. And thats sadon their part. But that was their choice, it could have been left in the past. Sometimes you just have to let them go, and realize that nothing will make it better until they deal with whatever it is that they need to deal with. Then things will get better but not until then. At least thats how Ive seen it work. I could be completely wrong. I wish you all the luck! Congrats on your new home coming!

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Dear Bridget, thanks. Its so comforting to find someone or so many women out there giving us moral supports. 7 yrs is very long.. Hmmm, sometimes things dont turn out what we want or what it should be. I'm luckier as my sis in law never come back as often already so my life at home now is so much better. My hubby stands up for me often thats make him not in talking term with his sis.. well, she like to create a big hoo hah and expect everyone listen, absurd.. lolx, Its feels good to say out and release all unhappiness.

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Belle, Great! Good to know your hubby is standing up for you, I know how alone it can feel when he doesnt stand up for you. At first my husband wouldnt stand up for me, he would always say thing like,"maybe you just misunderstood what she was saying, or are you sure she meant it to be mean? Or thats just mom you will get used to the way she is." Well it didnt take me long to get very un-used to putting up with it! And I finally told my hubby either you say something or I WILL! After he went and had a talk with mom in law he decided it would be better if I didnt go there as she just confirmed what I had been saying. So he knew it wasnt me just "misunderstanding ANYTHING" So one more bow up with her and my hubby stopped going there as well. He has since had some contact with them, but its not on a regular basis. It started up again Im sure and he hasnt heard a word from them. Of course she wont call our home as I may happen to answer the phone so she will call his cell or e-mail him. How petty can you get right?! But it keeps me from having to be nice on the phone so its fine by me. But seems hes not had any contact in awhile either from them. So, who knows whats going on now. lol It sounds like your sis in law is pretty spoiled. What a shame, shes missing out on a relationship with you that could prove to be a good thing for her, but I guess she will never know. Yes its nice to have someone to talk to who you know wont judge you for how you feel. Good luck and I hope things only get better for you.

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Look like you are a strong and firm woman, your mom in law is a headache for you too. I think however it is they are still our husband's mother. Its just that its seems difficult to get along. Hope times heal everything. Good luck to you too!

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Belle, I didnt used to be this strong, but I finally came to the conclusion that I REFUSE TO BE WALKED ON no matter who is doing the walking. As for Time healing everything... well if almost 11 years hasnt proved to mom in law that me and her son are going to be together then nothing will. And good luck to you.

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Oh Belle, some of the women here in the U.S. are the WORST, spoiled brats EVER!! They don't know how to keep their mouths shut & they want everyone to feel miserable & sorry for them & make up stories about you or others. Very sad! I'm not sure if you're aware of the saying, "Misery loves company"? But it is so true! I have had friends that I just couldn't get along with & that were very critical & judgemental of me, & guess what? They're NOT my friends anymore! What makes us think, that just because they're our family members, that we have to put up with their crap? Just like the friends that I have dumped for their negativity, you can surely do the same with relatives. We DO NOT have to love someone just because they are family. I have learned that & have finally come to terms with that over the years & am now at peace.

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Awesome stories with advice. Its so nice to have other women understand things. I have the same problem, but I'm pregnant with my first child right now. And I'm so angry and hurt by what was said and find to me, over a misunderstanding, that I'm just ready to be done. But my husband doesn't understand yet, therefore he doesn't have my back. Out really is great to have this type of communication though, with other women who have been through it too. I wish you both luck! And I enjoyed reading that good things do come out of the ashes. I hooe things only continue to move forward and get better for all of us. Keep your head up! :)

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Husbands and wives should stand for one another only if its the right thing with respect and not wrong doing.No one should be mean or abuse a good mother in law who just wants to see her grandkids when they can since I live out of state I have to stay with them.My grandaughter enjoys the visits,I feel like I am walking on egg shells with them and not comfortable at all,no talking or even dinner hour as a family.I always enjoyed that since my childhood it was not fun at the dinner table just silence or someone getting hurt and leaving the table.My kids had a fun dinner table where we could talk and not be yelled at.A happy home is so important.Life is to short for all this meaness and family problems.Good communication is so important and not in a text message like I get mean ones not nice ones.If any of you survive raising kids without any problems Congrats,if you do not raise spoiled kids who cant think for themselves,if they do not get involved in drugs or gangs or abusing kids your are lucky.If you have a strong faith and involve your kids in positives and have a good loving home you are lucky,moms and dads need to be involved together and set good examples to there kids.I set good examples and my kids critized me when teens for being good cause they seen the other kind of families the druggies that had dirty home that accepted there wrong doings.I held my kids accountable for there actions cause I loved them,thankful they are still alive but they still do not treat me good as I deserve for all the love I gave them.I do not expect any of you to understand unless you went through all the stuff I did then to have mean daughter in laws that is so wrong,she lives in a bubble and has not seen kids be victims of abuse and I pray that my grandkids are never victims.

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Hi Kimberly, Congratz to your pregnancy.. You must take care, i use to have depression when sis in law yell at me.. although never yell straight at me, she is talking about me, whole family knows it. You must be really tough.. Cheers to woman..

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hi Danielle, Sounds like alot of countries faces the same problem. We are Singaporeans, Think you should heard before. We are a small country but people here are all really boastful. sorry to say that buts its really giving me that impression. I really think only our culture have problems with in laws.. haha.. No worries, we can be better off without those people meddling with our own life.. Nice to meet all the nice ladies here from all over the world whereby we can share the same topic.. its really my pleasure.. Cheers!

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Oh, No Belle we are all in this in law drama together.

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If a member of the family is difficult, it is best to stay away from them and if you should cross paths, it
would be best to keep away from them and don't pay attention to them. It is a very difficult thing to
deal with someone who has called you bad names and will keep getting in your face. Eventualy they will get the message that you do not wish to confront them.

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Thats right Ruth. Sometimes you just have to get away from them huh.!

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If you ignore them, you aren't playing into their game and that might make a few of them stop and think if they are just saying the nasty things to get a reaction out of you.

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1 accept it. difficult ppl dont' usually change b/c they are stubborn
2 don't try to change it
3 let them know you think they are being a certain way and how it makes you feel
4 that's really all you can do. let them know your opinion about it and hope they will see it your way and if not, set it aside and avoid the stress of the situation by excluding them. why make life harder than it has to be by surrounding yourself by a difficult family member? I just wouldn't do it if they were still being difficult after I mentioned my point of view

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I had to make a concerted effort to keep some of my relatives away from my daughter. I'm not going to put my daughter, who was a baby at the time, in the position of having to defend herself against them. One of the difficult relatives has passed by now, and the other will before too long. Still, I had to move away to keep them apart

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be honest with them. i have one like everyone else its mysister but i just inform her about the things she does that makes it so difficult to deal with her, and they may get mad but trust me they will get over it! and if they dont respect you enough to stop then inform them that you would rather not be around them

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as hard as it is at the time, each of these people are put into our lives to teach us something about ourselves. Be the student & observe. Give them nothing they can attack & the relationship will not have grounds to go into an arguement or bad feelings, just observe & hold out judgement some people can not function from any other level than what they are at. Believe me I have been in dysfunctional family enviroments & relationships that no matter what I did they found fault & nothing I did was good enough but when you quit caring what others think & care about what you & God think then all the other stuff goes to the wayside!

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I just read and studied Kim Martinez and Alli Sherman's posts.
Kims was right up my alley. It soothed my ruffled feathers, and Ruffled they are.
'Admit they are difficult'
Dont think of 'her' as Evil
Wish 'she' wouldn't avoid me.
Could 'she' be in my life to teach me how to deal with issues? No way- I am willing to talk.
Could I be in her life to teach me? How pompus I sound.
Quote- 'someday, you are going to be.....'
Quote-'Would u rather have him/her write you off or deal with you in a forum that will continue yr relationship while avoiding hurt feelings.'
I would rather both of us figured how to deal with each other in a forum. Is this possible?
Quote -'My difficult person broke boundaries constantly but really wanted to be part of our family'
I know I unwittingly break boundaries I don't know about until I break them.
My husband and I often wonder ' Why did our son pick ..... As his wife?'
We do have, Quote-'a tangle of emotions from someone we can't, ( but also dont want to) get rid of.
Our son loves this person. We have seen a lot of good in her, and she is a natural mom.

I have given myself away. I'm a mother in law, trying to cone to terms with
events I didnt dream I had to deal with. I dont know if I'm allowed in this circle, but I came to learn.

Alli's post evoked a different response in me.
Are both my daughter in law and I difficult people?
Do we both have low self esteem and are we both self absorbed?
Are we both stuck due to a lack of emotional growth or maturity?
Do we both often think,"I can't believe she said/did that?"
I'm sure her goal is to drive me crazy, while I've learned, I'm already there.
We both think the other is full of inappropriate communications and actions.
Can i be very truthful and discover how I may come across as terribly inappropriate
to her?
I hope and pray to be the Mother in Love I had hoped to be.
I come from a close family who talk things through and keep loving despite the odds.
I want only to show/feel love to my sons wife, not to be a difficult person who upsets their lives.
I wonder if this is possible? It seems so hopeless.

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My parents created a great deal of baggage for me & my siblings. Some of us have moved on, some have not. My parents still try to treat & control us as they did when we were still at home. Some of my siblings have the same lack of respect, responsibility, & empathy--unfortunately, those ended up living at my house.
What we intended was to be a stepping-stone: you move away from parents, get a job, we charge just a tiny rent & they can eat here, letting them save up a bit & then strike out on their own. What they regarded it as was a free ride & a doormat.
My husband & I have had to set very solid, clear, large boundaries. When a line has been crossed, we've had to immediately tell them & cut the conversation short. That's how far they've pushed it. I hate to do it; I'm a very polite person, who tries to be understanding & all, & family is important to me. But my personal family & my personal sanity are top priority.
Hopefully, they'll catch on. But it's been over 10 years, so...well, I pray.

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I have recently been having difficulties with two members of my family but both over the same thing, the TV! My 5 year old daughter is my only child, number two is on the way and I have been trying to deal with her tv time as I no I have allowed her to watch to much at times and now am faced with tantrums and tears when i say no to it. She attends a school that has a no tv talk policy in the classroom which I think is great and am now doing my best to do other things with our time at home instead of sit and watch the box! The problem then I am being faced with is my partners use of the tv. He is my daughters step father but this is fairly new, and we generally as a couple have been able to discuss most matters concerning parenting quite well and openly. JUST NOT THE TV!! its really hard to be on one hand telling my girl that too much tv is not good for her and then on the other having my partner use it, freely during the day and all weekend, as his 'downtime' from work, He is self employed and is the bread winner and we both moved in to his house but i cant seem to work this out as I find it unfair on his part!! HELP!! any advise would be greatly appreciated xxx

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Who hasn't had to deal with difficult family members? This usually is a worse problem at the holidays. Difficult folks are hard under any circumstances and unfortunately there are no right answers. Each situation is unique. My best advice is just remember your children are learning by your actions or inactions. I generally try to find an explanation for the difficult persons bad behavior like I think they are having it rough financially and so they might be grumpy right here at Christmas, or someone died and it hurt them real bad and thats why they are (I don't say jerk) acting the way they are. I actually told all my children I thought their older sister was having a tough time financially, as I thought she might have overspent for her wedding and thats why shes being so grumpy, cursing me to her brothers and sisters, and that I told her it was okay not to give anyone presents. She was calling her little brothers and sisters asking them to draw names, which is fine but she should have gone through me first and told me she was having problems. She and her husband make well into the six figure range together and noone would have reason to know she couldn't afford to give gifts. She was also telling the little kids that they had to choose between a birthday present and a Christmas present. Also, fine just let me know theres a problem. I told her if she bought anything I'd return it to her, and don't buy anything for anyone as obviously there was a problem here and they would get more than enough for Christmas. I could have actually handled it better with her, but I was exasperated. I'm human. I also told her brothers and sisters that Christmas is not about how much money you spend but about thinking about someone and showing them you care. I told them they could give the gift of themselves, and give folks a coupon they would do something for free, clean house, clean a car, babysit, cook a meal, run an errand, cook someone their favorite dish, do someones chores for them...

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The first few years everything they say you will hold with the highest regard and insult. What you need to do is IGNORE them and live your life and realize you are the mom and you know what is best

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This is the hardest thing in my life. I loved reading all the helpful things here. I have a
family member, a woman, that my husband loves to spend time with. I do not. Partly because she often says
very mean spirited things to me and partly because she has almost no qualities that I like at all. What I have done that works best (and I can never always do this) is 1) never say anything negative about her 2) see her as little as possible and still seem civil - this means my husband sees her 10 or
20 times as much as I do 3) really work my spiritual "tools" around the situation. For example, the
saying, "you are as close to God as the person you love the least" has helped me. For indeed, this
woman is a lonely person who is always seeking friends but never really finds many. My husband resents my feelings towards her. He sometimes is negative to my friends with a certain enthusiasm because of this. He is not a vengeful person but he does seem to keep this resentment alive and admits only rarely that almost noone really likes this woman for very good reasons: she brags, she never listens, she interrupts everyone especially her husband, she talks too too loud and too too much. She took a
Toastmaster's course of all things and it enhanced her tour guide loudspeaker way of talking in a
group. It is really unbearable. She is sad, and a non- learner. My husband defends and boasts about any achievement she has made like it should make me like her. She also has substance abuse issues which enhance her abrasiveness. I like what[ I think ]Henry James said and use it with her. He said,
"Use the three rules: be kind, be kind. be kind." Good luck.

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Willa, All I can say is WOW! How is it that everyone can see what you see about her but HIM? What is it that ties him o her like that? Unless he likes those qualities, I dont get it. It sounds like maybe your hubby really needs to sit down with you and listen to what you have to say. Instead of treating your friends badly jus because you dont like thi woman. Im sorry for your situation.

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Your husband could benefit from understanding that his loyalty is to you.

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We live in a small town, moved here from the city with our baby girl and the only relative nearby is my sister in law. She and my husband have always had a difficult relationship, and now I see why! She's a hypersensitive woman with very strong opinions, inflexible and stubborn - one of these people who HAS to have it her way. She's caused a lot of upset in her ways and tantrums over nothing(in our eyes) It's been a sad adjustment for me since she's a life line out here and my whole family is 9 hours away...I miss them terribly, so I skype to keep sane! So now I do not rely on her friendship as a cure for my loneliness, I have signed my daughter and I up for classes in hopes to meet some mothers - or just ONE mother I connect with. Way to deal with my difficult in-law - stay polite, but I don't go out of my way to see her anymore. I doubt I will go to her without my husband as unfortunately, I feel she's burned some moral bridges with me. Her loss!

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Absolutely her loss.

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Pray, Seek God. Ask for wisdom. Keep loving. Kindness leads to repentance (2 Timothy 2:25). P.S. Keep your own heart right by forgiving them, and name the action(s) you have to forgive them about. This will clarify the concern(s). Ask a trusted friend to also pray...together you will get a proper answer. Guard your own heart towards the person(s) that concern you. Love your enemies. Ask God to help in everything.

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Learn what "active listening" is, and then do it. Learn how to set boundaries.

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Take a deep breath, count to 10 and think of something funny like whipped cream all over their nose, then dare I say it, then smile and say I think I might take that ten minute time out and walk away, if they try to stop you run. And I am being very serious.;)

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I am not a serious person unless I have to be in the tough times of life-My son has no sense of humor when I am around,if I see him smile its a miracle,no one talks they go make dinner and sit on the couch to eat,never say one word to me when I visit like dinners ready mom.That is not good manners.At my home the table would be set and we would all sit there and enjoy a relaxed dinner and good times.I grew up with no one talks unless its to yell at you,never a fun childhood did I have.My kids had a fun childhood and they just do not appreciate me,they should of grew up like I did.I am very independent always had to be.What I think about is the movie monster in law with Jane Fonda and Jennifer lopez,wish my daughter in law had a sense of humor and could laugh at that movie.Nothing serious and would never harm any of them.MY grandaughter will show more personality from being around me I hope,I always have a good time with her playing dolls or reading to her.

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God uses "Sandpaper people" in our lives to refine us! Thank God for all He is teaching me through this relationship.

Avoid unrealistic expectations: just because I had a wonderful relationship with my mother-in-law doesn't mean I will have the same when it's my turn to be a mother-in-law.

CHOOSE to be joyful! Don't let the way others treat you define who you are OR how you feel about the gift of life.

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be straight forward with the member. Sometimes being honest with someone shocks them into adjusting to the situation that is making them difficult. Most family members are afraid of hurting another member, but being honest, even if you are the only one brave enough, will make all the difference.

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My mother-in-law is very difficult, she is welcoming but then makes me feel very small, I have been brung up to know my options and research and make my own desisions on what is best for me,and now due in october my family, while my partner has been brung up to let his parents make the desicions, which in a way is good as it means we do not argue in some ways as i research present the information to him say what i think we should do and he norm agrees, but in other ways he trusts them more and has to check with them alot of the time and until recently they were incharge of his monay and would tell him what he should/ should not do with his money!

We recently moved into our own place and have just bought a freezer and she basically told us off for buying one, she has also told us off for doing other things. I know its not just me she does it to her daughter and her family, she was "told off" at a family bbq coz she bought a tumble dryer.

She has to be incontrol, but I do not take being controled well, its my family, my home, my money and my life. im 37 weeks pregnant and she stresses me out so much that my partner trys to keep us apart or keep the time together limited , by going over later or saying we have other arrangements appointments so we are not together to long.

Im one of thos people who will take it with a pinch of salt, but it you push me so far, I will snap, when we were moving in our own place and i was trying to organise the nurcery, she was trying to tell me what to do and where to put things and i had to very sternly say " this is our flat and i will do what i want" and my mum luckly diffused the situation as if she had not backed off i would off ended up either breaking something or yelling or walking out!

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Lanakwidzinski , Do not let anyone steal the joy of the precious time you are going through! Perhaps it is time for your partner to gently set boundries with their mother! In a previous relationship I had somebody like that who made my life miserable and my partner said "Oh that is just so and so and you'll get used to it"! I did not want to get used to being verbally abused by a person that could find fault with the creator himself! When I re-married there was once again a difficult person to deal with. My husband let it go for a while to see if the kill them with kindness routine worked but early on he decided she had crossed the boundries one too many times! He sat down with that person, set boundries they would need to abide by if they wished to continue to be part of our lives and even more importantly GENTLY told that person how much their behavior hurts me! He also told them that when I hurt he hurts. They claimed to never have realized how much their behavior hurt me and began to behave themselves. Granted it was never peaches and creme but they never got out of line again.

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I hate control also and being judged.My mother in law acted like a drill sargent-giving me orders instead of talking to me.Now I have a daughter in law that does not know how to communicate positively just does mean texting and in person she does not talk to me at all,neither does my son.So sad he was not that way before at all.My grandkids love me and its a healthy relationship.Some of those issues sound so dumb like buying a freezer or anything you decide as a couple its up to you how you raise your kids as long as you do not involve them in negatives.Just love the kids and enjoy being pregnant at 37 weeks,you must be due to have your baby.A couple should never live with there parents at all-A man should provide a home for his family before they have kids-I am an easy person to get along with all I want is a phone call once in awhile to hear my precious grandaughter who is 5's voice and about her day at school-I live far away and do not interfere in there lives at all,everything I ask is to much for them.It would be nice to be treated with respect and quit getting blamed for the problems they cause-

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Profound advice! For those members with "sticky fingers", they are "politely welcomed" and served outdoors. As we live in a warm climate they tend to not visit often and their stay is short.

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So I've been married to my husband for almost 11years when we 1st got married on our wedding day his mom was outrageously disrespectful I knew then it was a red flag for trouble but we still married I would notice little things that she would say on the slide but I just went on with whatever I was doing. Now me and hubby gave 4 kids 21,17,16,,2 our 2 year old was a blessing we were told we couldn't have anymore kids we got pregnant in 2014 and when his mom and sister found out they put me through hell so much we had a misscaiage they laughed about it then a year later we got pregnant again and our 2 year old is hear healthy. Am I wrong for keeping my daughter away from them they are just a negative and nasty his sister treats my daughter so wrong because she doesn't like me and posts all kinda of negative things on fb about me and my kids I've tried everything being nice being mean staying away could someone help me on this because now my 16 year is having nightmares when it comes to them my kids out stress about everything they have seen me go through with his family to the point my boys are creating grudges against there dad for not doing anything IM SO STRESSED!! O and till this day I dont even know why I'm not liked I've tried having a family meeting that failed no one could tell me why I'm not liked.

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I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i went to Africa to Execute some business..He is really powerful..My husband divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have him back cos i really love him so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and he woke up one morning and he told me he’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when he came back from work he tender to me a divorce letter and he packed all him loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have him back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for him full name and him picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that he’s with a woman and that woman i the reason why he left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring him back.but i never believe all this…he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,he called me himself and came to me apologizing and he told me he will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and i got pregnant a month later..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid..This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him..he has helped many of my friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case t

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My name is Christina Livingstone I am from USA.
I never thought i would be here today sharing my testimony because my predicaments seemed to be the worst of all bfore i met this great Dr.
I saw so many spell casters online but their works towards helping me to get pregnant were all null and void.
I would say that Dr Alutasa is one of the greatest and true among the spell casters we have today. i was in a deep mess. my whole life was shattered. because i lost my ex to my best friend as i was unable to conceive.
To cut the long story short, i met with this powerful spell caster via his WEBSITE http://alutasaspells.webs.com/

And today my ex is back to me. he apologized for the wrongs he did and today i am happy to say that now and i am carrying his child.
All thanks to Dr Alutasa for his wonderful works. his methods are unique, fast, reliable and consistent. i urge all readers today. what is that situation you are facing? search no further just contact this great DR. He has totally changed my life for good and i believe he can help you too
WEBSITE: http://alutasaspells.webs.com/

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One of the easiest decision I have ever made was when I accepted to get married to a man I thought was my soul mate, my lover for 2yrs. He was the most handsome and honest man I have ever encountered, he was so kind respectful to me and my entire family. He gave me the reason to spend my entire life with him. I enjoyed 3yrs of love and sweet romance as his wife before the devil came into our home, his ex-girlfriend worked voodoo on him, she made him show me the bad side of him and also caused our divorce. The most annoying part was when she tried to take my life spiritually and physically, fighting to ensure am thoroughly erased from my husband before she takes over. It was getting tensed till the extent that I couldn’t sleep both day and night because she must be there to trouble me.
Story short, I used the only available options left which was Dr. before I lose everything including my life. Dr.OKOKO was the last option because every other sources failed and his love spell worked wonders after 7days which saw the evil lady flee from us with immediate effect, the divorce case was reconciled within days as well. Since after the spell, I finally knew how to treat wicked and jealous people and a whole new lot of thing from Dr. OKOKO. Happiness and joy has been in abundance in my family for the past 8months after the love spell. Thanks to dr.OKOKO love spell that works wonders

EMAIL drokokospellhome19@gmail.com

visit http://drokokospellhome.webs.com/

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some times its hard to deal with family members but honestly forget the hate. do whats best for you and your child, and if your carrying at the moment definitely do not be stressing.

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FIND YOUR LONG LOST LOVE TODAY WITH THE BEST SPELLS: DRSABUSPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

I want to share my testimony and my happiness with you all in this site, last year my husband left me for another woman in his working place and he abandon me and my 2kids, everything was so hard for me because i love him so much, so i saw the testimonies Dr SABU ..Lost Love Spells is a powerful lost love spells caster with lost love spells that help me within 24hours my husband left the other woman and he come back to me with so much love and caring. Take away the loneliness with lost love spells, heal your broken heart for a lost lover with lost love spells
Reconcile your hearts with the soul mate & get back a lost lover unconditionally with powerful lost love spells that work fast.
CONTACT His Valid Email: drsabuspelltemple@gmail.com or whatsapp number:+2347057624993 also reach him on his website: https://drsabuspelltemple.wixsite.com/dr-sabu Thanks you Sir

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An amazing testimony on a Sister Lucy Special herbal Medicine who help me to get pregnant.After a few years of trying to conceive I finally got pregnant in 6 weeks, i would like to share the happy news to others those who looking for conceive in natural ways. If you are trying to conceive but still aren't getting pregnant, don’t worry but there's good news, it CAN be fixed: I used Sister Lucy Special herbal Medicine one of the online guide to get pregnant and is it successful, i recommended to all , if you looking for get pregnant in natural way, i put the Email address here who made me to got pregnant via email lucyspecal@yahoo.com .call or whats-app me +18573364737.

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