How do you discipline young children?

Toddlers probably aren't keen to listen to the complicated moral logic much of our discipline is based on, so reasoning with them isn't always an option, and they don't exactly have video games we can take away, either. How do you punish a misbehaving toddler?

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15  Answers

4 0

I give my daughter time outs (the Supernanny way). I give her a warning and if she doesn't listen she goes there. She understands through consistency that I will follow through with what I am saying and she is quick to do the right thing to avoid time out. Her daycare says "time out isn't good" whatever! She doesn't even have to sit there for "as many minutes as her age" Lately, she gets it, and she's only 2 so then I can get her on track and focused again. We also use sign language to reinforce such as "Pay attention" and I have for a long time pointed to my ear and said "Listen" (Not a sign, but more like a code between us)
Through discipline, I have a child that is well-behaved in public. My child can eat out at a restaurant and go where ever. I love it!

47 6

Be careful, Elizabeth. My child was wonderfully behaved (like yours) until she hit the age of 4-4/12 and went to Kindergarten. She was my angel-child, who was perfectly behaved, was a dream to take out places, and well disciplined. Once she hit kinder, she realised that being naughty got her attention (negative, but still attention). She has really really really bad days, and she's about to go into grade 1. I'm at my wits' end on how to handle her. Discipline doesn't work anymore.

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832 13

I am not beyond any means of disipline; I am believer in spanking, time-out, and rewarding good behavior. The last is my first choice and IMO the most effective at the toddler age...remember they are still learning and pushing our buttons; testing us is a natural part of this learning stage! My 2 1/2 year old son was recently kicking me very hard during diaper changes, just playing but he was playing much too hard.....despite logical reasoning, 1 spanking, and a brief flirt with time-out nothing was working, so I introduced the behavior sticker chart. We have a piece of paper taped to the wall and colored stars that he LOVES to put up...he gets one a night for being cooporative throughout the day and an extra one for being VERY cooporative at bedtime. me simply saying "that behavior will not get you a sticker" stops most defiance in its tracks. I of course still feel there will be a place and time for other types of discipline, but at this age this is working the best for us.

0 12

Although I agree there are many different appropriate means of discipline; time-out, taking away a privilege like t.v. or computer, logical reasoning & making them correct a bad behavior, etc., I am adamantly opposed to anyone ever spanking or hitting their child. Dawn - no offense, but why would a child ever learn not to kick you based on you hitting them in return? Even if you think the spank isn't to hard or intense, it is physical violence on your child. Spanking a child only teaches them that physical violence is o.k. in some circumstances. Most of the time spanking a child is usually about the parent's frustration, temper, or inability to think of other options, and if a parent allows for a cooling off period before inflicting the spanking to make sure they are not doing it when upset, then the child can't make the connection between the parent hitting them & the bad behavior. I truly hope the sticker chart works great for you & believe me, I know the frustration of trying to get through to your children (I have a 2 & 5 yr old). Your son thinks the world revolves around you, loves you unconditionally, and literally looks up to you in every way possible (seriously, think about how huge you are to him in his eyes (literally & emotionally). Please, please, please don't hit your kids.

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49 9

I find time out is the best way to punish my toddler and he also has a behaviour chart with star stickers depending on his behaviour depends on the colour star he gets poor behaviour all day means no star and their are 5 different colours to use for different levels of his behaviour he loves putting the stickers on the chart and if he gets enough good behaviour stickers he gets 10p to go to the shop with to get himself a small bag of haribo

1 20

Research has shown that the effects a reward system like this can have on a child are actually negative later on in life. You should never focus on downfalls of any kind at the end of your day. You should most certainly focus on all of the positives and positives only. You should rate the difficulty of the situation and never punish but teach discipline. These are actually two different things. Both have different effects on a child's brain development. Deal with the issue based on the individual situation. Sometimes a positive chat showing the pros and cons of the situation and a reminder that time out could result is effective enough. Always be consistent. Be sure to remind them you love them and that they are a good boy or girl.

36 1

My son plays up pretty good at home, tests all the boundaries. A pre-school teacher told me this is a good sign he is in a safe environment, which made perfect sense. If you provide a safe, secure environment for your kid why wouldn't they act up, worry when they don't. He loves eating out. I don't remember having encountered major tandrums while eating in a restaurant, he enjoys the social atmosphere and the food, as long as he is part of the outing he is happy. The battle if anything is the going out to the store where everything is enticing to him, toys, food, he's a child that likes to grab anything he sees but I deal with the situation like anyone else would, as best I can, say no, tell them why consistency tell him. I use 'the naughty chair' if he persistency does something I've told him no for or if he has a tandrum and starts taking it out on me, he goes on the chair and gets told why he was put there. He's not quite 2 so I keep it short so he can understand better.. you didn't listen to Mummy when i said no, so you're sitting there, sometimes he's been on there for the same thing 5 times in a row but as long as he knows I won't give in to him he knows I'm being serious. If your children attention seeks it is simple don't play into their trap...if they have a roll over fit tandrum ignore them let them tire themselves out, if they take it out on you or the house put them on the chair..after there time if they do it again put them there again and so on, it is a long time to be on a chair and pretty soon boredom will set in and you can always give them a reason to be well behaved from the naughty chair if they oversee you doing something fun that they might like to partcipate in. Don't hold a grudge, when they come off the chair it's a fresh start, no need to remind them of the 'bad' things they've done then or later. You may find yourself reinforcing discipline on something they did last week, kids work like that. Remind them of the good behaviour, reminding a child of what they did wrong is not good on their self esteem can make them feel like a failure. Be sure to keep everything positive.

31 12

Jayne, I agree with keeping things positive - rewarding good behavior and not bringing attention to the bad. I hope you don't call the chair the "naughty chair" out loud? This may eventually affect self esteem if they are constantly on there and associate it with being a naughty or "bad" child. I have my son sit on the floor but I don't call it anything because it is really just a place for him to "time out". "Time out" is just what it sounds like - time to take a moment and relax. It's not to punish him for being naughty. I explain that to him when the few minutes are up. I get to his eye level and talk in a calm voice and hug and kiss him after. Like you said - keep things positive in the end!

12 16

I have always believed you get out of your children what you expect of them. I am a writer and have been taking my son to events and stuff since he was very young. He now knows how to behave in public and is often a hit where ever we go.

56 39

I have a 2 1/2 year old son & a 4 year old daughter & my son is Definitely my problem child! I blame a lot of his behavior on the fact that we're "older" parents & got into the bad habit of "whatever makes it stop screaming!" Big mistake because now I have to un-do all that lax discipline. :( I never really did time-out because I didn't think kids that little really could make a cause & effect connection, almost like punishing a puppy but I've been starting to do time-out & sticker charts & they work well with my daughter. I just hope it starts having some effect on my son soon :(

34 25

My son is 3 years old. He throws tantrums when he is really tired. So I try to watch for signs before he melts down. If he is warned once, the second time, he is taken to his room to the count of 5. He acts out 99% of the time at home and mostly with his younger sister of 1. He pushes her and takes her toy away. Some days are better than others. We teach him to apologize and remind him sharing is caring. I say this over and over. He is an overall good kid.

5 17

I set my kids in time out when they misbehave. I also found that taking away tv time or their favorite toy works also.

2 0

Time out

2 0

I give my son who just turned 4 a week ago, choices. "MOmmy i want milk!" I say Mommy may I have a drink please, he relunctantly repeats but with asmile on his face. Mommy may I have some milk please. NO I say no no milk now, you have already had two glasses. BUt I want milk he says-upset. Well you may have a drink if you are thirsty water. No I don't want water. Okay water or nothing. YOu choose. Whatever his choice, I say good choice, it is water now, but has taken some time. But he knows mommy's doesn't let him get his way, exactly as he wants, but in the end he feels like he has chosen and has made me do what he wanted which was a drink. We are both right. I also praise him for showing his younger brother's good behaviour, thank you for showing your brother's how to ask mommy for something. Thank you for your manners, good boy, huggs and kisses ++++My son who's 2 and half I also give him choices but praise him when he uses good words, pleases and thank you's. I also have a "thinking"step, its a step on our stairs to the second floor, I take my oldest or 2 and a half year old to sit and think about what just happend, throwing a toy, fighting/not sharing, pushing eachother. I can do dishes or make a meal while I talk to the one on the thinking step. pretty calm voice just a lot of questions and when I get I don't have an answer, which is an easy wAy out- or was I ask him to turn on his brain and think about what the answer is then I will come back, you need time to think.By the end we are hugging a nd kissing and he is telling what he learned t oday on the thinking step.-I should listen to you mommy,I should not throw toys cause it could hurt someone's eye, brother's share, I will help my brother learn,. Some days are better than others but so far its working. Tomorrow it may a different story and I will ahve to find a different strategy. Who knows hope this helps someone.

0 0

i got it bad from my mom when i was young, so when I had a bby i promised my self that i will never spank her, but she is about to turn 2 yrs and she beats me up and scratch me so i cant help not giving her a small spank on her hand.. She is too young for time out. (supernany way)

10 0

my 2 yr old boy is naughty and apes his elder 6 yr brother so same thing for both eyes out and strong loud voiced NO

17 16

We practice what I have learned on Positive Parenting Solutions (online education - check it out!). It teaches children even as young as two to make positive choices. (I have a 2 & 3.5 YO)

We give our childen 10 minutes of Mind, Body and Soul time (almost) everyday. They gets lots of positive, one on one attention from mom and dad during this time.

We practice saying WHEN- THEN. When (you pick up your toys) then (you can watch can read a book), etc. Also we use EITHER- OR. Either (you turn off the TV) Or (I will). I use either - or when they can do something for themself but don't want to do it at that moment. We also role play things to learn how to do for themself. For example, we role played how to get in and out of a living room chair. My son kept climbing on the arm of the chair then jumping off. Not so much anymore. :)

I don't believe in time out, I don't think at this age it works for them. I do, however, use the 'crying chair' if they keep crying because they don't like that I said no. My boys quickly get over whatever they were crying about when I say, Either (go to the crying chair) Or (whatever was just happening.)

Good luck.

87 0

i totally agree with you, this is exactly what i do and i didn't realise there were courses on it! i dont believe in time outs, spanking, shouting at your child, pulling them about... i wouldn't treat my friends, mother or partner like that... so why would i treat my child like that? she is a human, and just like the rest of us, she needs people to have patietence with her to help her learn new things!

0 21

there are many forms of discipline however every child is unique n will respond diffrently to diffrent things...therefore what works well for others may not work for some!!for example the distraction method works best on my son he listens when i say no n has now learnt to go an find sonmething else to do instead it has taken time n consistency but works however as this works for my son who is 21 months it prob wouldnt work on others so i dont believe in a set method i believe in getting to know your child first an figuring out what works best for them!! an sticking to it!

0 69

Our daughter does ' smacky bum ' on herself if she has Been naughty. But mostly, she is Very Well Behaved as she has two parents who love her unconditionally and the trust bond has not yet been broken. Nor do we ever hope it will be.

0 23

My little boy is 15 Months old, he is a good little boy but has a very cheeky side.. and a short temper..

If i take something off him which he shouldn't have he throws a tantrum and I tell him, "Thats a grown up toy, shall we find something fun to play with" - then lead him off to find one of his toys..

but i watch him sometimes and I think some of his anger is through frustration with something, I don't know how to discipline him as I think 15 months old is too young for time out.. I don't believe in hitting/spanking, shouting etc.. What age can i start doing time out? or is there something else i can do to nip his anger in the bud before he starts nursery at the end of the year?
xx xx


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