How do you discipline your children without yelling?

What are some ways to discipline your kids without having to yell?

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8  Answers

0 6

Its really hard to keep calm ALL the time. Consequence to misbehaviour: she goes for 'Quiet Time' in her room for a few minutes, and yes, I close the door, she's 4yrs old. If you do shout and scream and it gets ugly, calm down outside, count to 10 with deep breathes (basic anger management tactics and they work) and then when you are both finished having your tantrum, ask your little monsterangel to apologies for their behaviour, and then you, too, can apologies for you losing your temper with kisses and hugs all round. I think it shows great maturity and a great lesson to admit when you are wrong and apologise for it. oh and my best advice for anyone is always label the behaviour, never the child i.e. "This is very naughty behaviour", "I dont like your behaviour right now" etc. Good luck and remember to B.R.E.A.T.H.E before you yell!

3 0

Yes! This is very good advice. A young child will start to think something is wrong with them and can create deep emotional scars, you must not label the child. Making it clear that it's the behavior that is wrong is very important. I didn't learn this until my kids were older, and we went to counseling to help my son stop talking about hating himself. I wish I had learned that when they were younger, but now I know and we are all stronger and love ourselves no matter what. Thanks for mentioning this important aspect.

0 27

Bingo! I am using d same method with my 3 years old son and it works perfect. And like ur <<Label d behaviour<< method :) its awesom!!

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3 0

You can't get emotional. Instead of being angry about what they do, just matter of fact explain the consequences. You have to separate your emotions from the discipline and this is not easy to do. Each person will have to fight their own inner battle to win this one. I'm still working on it myself, but I have made great progress.

0 11

Don't beat yourself up for raising your voice. It happens, and it doesn't make you a bad mother.

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2 70

I had my family sit down and come up with 4 "house rules." Instead of saying, "don't/no/etc" I tried to turn the rules positive. We came up with, Hugs: not hitting/biting etc, Be positive: no name calling/etc, Solve it: try to work out your differences before coming to an adult for help, and Be Safe: wear your helmets, etc. This seems to have worked well for my 4 & 7 year old. I need to work on being consistent. The consequence is time out on the bottom stair for the time of their age. (4 year old gets 4 minutes, 7 year old gets 7 min.) I have a kitchen timer for each. Once they have their arms, legs and mouths under control for the allotted time. They can get up. If they yell, hit. punch or make noise, other than normal, the time starts over. So far... so good.

0 0

It can be very challenging for sure. I try to remember that kids look up to their parents and a parent who is out of control, even for a minute, is frightening. And also, it undercuts my authority. So I see it as a game - their role is to try to make me lose my cool, mine is to always have a smile on my face no matter what has happened. I find it very hard to yell and smile at the same time :)

353 0

It can be hard, but I try to always catch myself- take a deep breath. If I am home I will take a time out myself so I don't get upset and this gives me time to think about what I will say and be calm about it. I also put myself in a child's shoes- what they might be thinking or why they did or said something.

I also give them a chance to have some time alone to reflect on the situation.

If we are out and about I say Ok we will talk about this when we get home. It gets too out of hand I stop the car if that is where it happened and stay put and not move forward until all is calm or if we are in a store I have often left and let me tell you that silent treatment the whole way home gets them to thinking.

123 3

Sometimes if something that my toddler does will lead to a consequence, I may let her experience that and learn the lesson. For instance, over-coloring will waste the ink and it'll run out, I'll say once and when it really ran out, she wouldn't have that color.

Often, I kind of occupy her with an alternative activity, distraction is what I'm used to, as my baby has eczema from two weeks old.. hugs!
Mei of

0 17

I usually talk them into another topic But this method seems to be getting less effective by the day. My 10 year old and five year old fight a lot :(
Sometimes I do end up yelling and regret it later, The biggest struggle is towards the end of the day---getting in bed on time


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