How do you explain gay relationships to your child?

It's not all that unlikely that your child may go to school with someone who has two mommies or two daddies in preschool or grade school. What are some tips for talking to your kids about different types of families.

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37  Answers

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My kids have known about gay relationships pretty much since they've known about straight ones. People fall in love, some people fall in love with people who are of the same sex, sometimes they don't. Simple as that. What they have a really hard time understanding is why some people are so mean to other people just because they want to be in love.

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That's exactly how I explained it to my kids. We go to a very open church & consequently have fairly high gay/lesbian attendance. My boys have several friends with 2 mommies or 2 daddies & when they asked why, it was why do they only have 1 mommy & 1 daddy :)

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Why is homosexuality called GAY? I once heard an old man say that " such a good word was ruined" When he was a kid it meant to be cheerful and happy. It's impossible for all homosexuals to be gay. Many are miserable. When we ask GOD for guidence and place our lives in his hands, he always takes us in the right direction

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I agree gay used to be a fun word. It has been ruined.

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The word "gay" has 2 definitions. It is also defined as homosexual. Look it up. I happen to think the word "straight" is ruined. Straight is defined as "upright", "honest", and "right". I hardly know any heterosexual people who fit that description.

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I tell my kids they are not to judge others. That is between that person and God. I do show them what is in the Bible and they are bound by the Word of God and not the ways of the world. My kids are to show love and compassion towards everyone. For the oldest teenager, I simply answered him with a question: If there was not invitro fetilization, artificial insemination, what would happen to our human race? How would we continue to exist if same sexes could not reproduce? He answered "Our world would end if we didn't reproduce." The oldest is going to be 18. I never raised that question with the younger teenagers.

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Thank you.

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What a delightful perspective! My children are 9 and 4 and we've never had the conversation beyond what the Bible teaches. I do that with everything else, so why not in this situation. The message is always the same: treat others as you would like to be treated; God loves...and we are called to do the same; and judgement is for the Lord alone. I don't support homosexuality, but condemnation is not mine to cast onto others. My mother is a lesbian and she assumes (wrongly, because I've said otherwise) that I hate her because she's a lesbian, and that's why I won't tell my children about her lifestyle. I haven't discusses sex, or sexuality, with either of my children, so I am not going to discuss homosexuality. They know that marriage is forever, and that children are born from the loving institution of marriage. I simply don't see the point in prematurely discussing any form of sexual relations that underminds marriaget until they are old enough to fully understand.

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Just a secondary point of view- is marriage forever biblically? What in the cases of adultery? Abadonment? Abuse, given Exodus 20? How about what Jesus said about not being married in Heaven? I certainly do think it'important to stress that when we marry, we take it on ourselves to do whatever we can to make a marriage work, but I think it's doing a disservice that adds to the burden of people in a marriage situation that canno work (like an unrepentant adulteror or abuser) to casually treat marriage as something God nevwer meant it to be. God may hate divorce- but I believe He designed divorce in His love to be an escape for the worst case scenario, and in fact, referred to himself divorcing Israel.

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9 37

My children go to aprivate christian school affiliated with our church and are very unlikely to be exposed to anyone who is Homosexual. they have encountered it when we were out places and on television. when the subject comes up we tell them that although we love all people and treat everyone with respect, we believe that this is not God's intended plan for people's lives. God created a man and a woman and God designed them to fit together and compliment each other in every way because they are different. A man and a woman marry and become one with each other, have children together and form their own family. This is the foundation for a healthy society. Some times two men or two women are atracted to each other like a man and a woman are and they want to live together like they are married and sometimes they adopt children but it is not God's way. Children Ideally, need both a (male) dad and a (female) mom to have a healthy self identity. They need to see their mother and father interact with each other in a marriage and this teaches the child how to be a husband or wife, father or mother in the future it serves as his or her example to emulate. If his parent's marriage is healthy, they are very much likely to grow up to be healthy adults. Homosexual relationships are not the natural way that God inteneded. It is every bit as sinful as a heterosexual relationship in which the unmarried couple is living together. All kinds of pain and trouble comes from these relationships. including unwanted or out of wedlock pregnancies, disease, broken hearts and broken lives. This is what I told my eight year old daughter.

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Uh, that is interesting and obvviously very one sided. What about homes that are broken or houses where the spouse has died. I guess those children don't have health self identities. All loving relationships have interaction on how to love, respect and sometimes have the hard time to get through and no matter what, children will see that. I was not married with my now husband for 7 years before we got officially married and it was not "under God" or in a church. We had two children prior to it and raised them like a family. You don't have to be married to have love and to be a family. God didn't have marriage way way back in the day, before a bible was written. We created our own marriage and our own love. Our children know that. I feel very sorry for your daughter. Children are not born homophobic, they are raised that way. Didn't Jesus say to love and respect everyone. Treat others as you would want to be treated and you without sin cast the first stone. It freaked me out the other day when we watched a show and two men kissed and my son said, "that freaked him out." After all our talks, the children at school still got to him. His uncle is gay and in a loving relationship. Accept all and love all and all will fall into place. Don't make up scare tactics that you can't follow up. Because even in marriage, there can be cheating, there can be disease, there can be broken hearts and broken lives and unwanted pregancies.

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Gay parents can be the biological parent. Out of all the gay parents I have met, only one family had adopted their kids. The rest were bio kids. Either through in-vitro or surrogate or even the old-fashioned way! Also, sometimes the parent is in a hetero marriage, has a kid & then gets divorced and goes into a gay marriage.

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9 37

I am not alone in my belief. Most Christians, Jews and Muslims who believe in one God, the creator and in the scriptures, whether they be the Bible or the Torah, believe that God gave a model for us to follow and that model was of one man and one woman coming together in marriage and becoming a family. the marriage and the family have been instituted by God and they become the basis for the church and for all of society. People have believed this unquestioningly and it has been working for centuries.God said in his word that a man should not like with another man as one lies with a woman and neither should two women, He called this an abomination. it is an unnatural act. You can choose to ignore it and choose not to believe in God or in the Bible/Torah/Koran but almost all people of faith believe in the institution of Marriage as being (ideally) one woman and one man. Because people are sinful by nature, they rebel against God and do whatever is right in their own eyes.They commit adultery, fornication, whether it's heterosexual or homosexual, doesn't matter, all sex outside of marriage is sin according to God. We are Christians and we teach our children the Bible. It doesn't mean we are homophobic, disrespectful or unloving to people who are living in a homosexual lifestyle, they have the same rights as every other human being ans we can love them as individuals. I would never encourage my children to be discourteous or unkind to classmates or neighbors who are homosexual. God is a God of love but people can have desires that are not of God and be deceived by their own lusts and choose to live in sin. I pray for salvation, emotional healing and deliverance from sin. Through the Blood of Jesus Christ and the Mercy of God there is forgiveness for all who want it.

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ok , i understand that you belive in God and all that jazz however children dont NEED to have a mum and dad to have " a healthy self identity " i am a bisexual my wife and i have one child ,and she is doing alright in school .

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In My family this is a pretty backwards teaching. For one, I myself was born from out of wedlock, and raised for five years of my life without a married mother or father. My parents (biological) did marry though, after I was five years of age, and then my sister was created. Compared to each other, I was the obediant, if a bit daydreamish child, who aimed high and aspired for the stars. My sister, was unruly, violent, and still to this day very rebellious and argumentative. So i find no basis for how out of wedlock, or unwanted pregnancies cause pain or broken lives as my life has been, not perfect, but pretty awesome, and my parents have been married for over 15 years, with no thought to divorce. My dear Aunts (married) have "made" a child of their own, and have been wonderful parents, bettering even some parents ive personally seen in heterosexual relationships. My biological aunt teaches her daughter to be independent, and confident, strong of will. My aunt in law teaches her daughter to be kind, and sensitive. I've seen plenty of Heterosexual relationships "as god planned" that have burned, and taken the children down with them, but i have seen very few, if hardly ever, homosexual relationships that do even a fraction of the harm that disasterous "intended" relationships do. For me, I simply believe that all humans will find a partner they love, even if it wasnt intended, because let's face it, very little in life is ever intended, much less the miracle of love, or the miracle of life.

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"We love all people and treat everyone with respect..." But if you're gay, you're NOT adding to a "healthy society", "healthy self identity", "healthy marriage" or future "healthy adults" . Also, homos aren't "natural" or the "way God intended", are "sinful", and cause "all kind of pain and trouble" that include "disease, broken hearts and broken lives". Glad you're teaching your daughter the fundamentals of "love all people and treat everyone with respect" because you're obviously doing the same thing, too. Duplicity at its finest.

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With age appropriate answers, in preschool or grade school, you just explain that each family is unique and each child is lucky to have loving adults surrounding them with love. If your child asks directly about reproduction then explain how adoption works; a loving parent of a child gifted another family a child love. Each child deserves love teach your child to love differences, so when someone points out their uniqueness they embrace it instead of being ashamed of it. TEACH LOVE!

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My son has friends with two mommies and it's really not a big deal.... unless of course you make it to be. It's very simple, some kids have 1 mommy or 1 daddy, maybe even no mommy or no daddy. Some have mommy and daddy, some have 2 mommies or 2 daddies. My son asked when he was about 4. Answer was very simple, what I wrote above. I don't know why this should be a big deal a together? What if a child with 2 mommies would ask "Hey mom why does so and so have 1 mom and 1 dad?" I'm sure they wouldn't stress about the answer. It would be simple.... every family is dfferent :-)

9 18

Well considering the length of time that gay people have walked the earth one would think ADULTS can get the hell over it and accept that IT IS WHAT IT IS!!
Shouldn't be an issue to explain,,, here is an easy convo for the knobs that find it difficult to tell their kids about it.

Kid: Mommy, why is that man kissing that man and holding holding hands?
Mom: Same reason your father and I do, they love eachother.

WOW THAT WAS HARD LOL Jesus freaks need to get over it. Im straight. No I dont like gay people kissing in public, WHY? BEACAUSE I HATE STRAIGHT PEOPLE DOING IT TOO! :D

To the idiot quoting the bible: THOU SHALT NOT JUDGE A**HOLE!! Bet the priests in your church that play with little boys bums are not considered gay right? Did God let that priest be GAY in HIS house or did the devil make his way into the church and corrupt the MANY that like little alter boys? Focus on yourself and not others.

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Respect is respect. You want people who consider the Bible (believing it to be the Word of God), as their authority, to respect people who choose a homosexual lifestyle, yet you have very little respect for those who have the former lifestyle &/or conviction. Authority comes from our Creator not how ANY of us feel or think. So, respect and love come from and are defined by Him, not our feelings or thinking. So my suggestion is, if you have advice for anyone, use what is TRUE, always true, as your guide and remember to practice what you preach.

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Wasn't the question here: Q: How do you explain gay relationships to your child? I didn't see anyplace on here that anyone's response was going to be right or wrong. What's with all the name calling?

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Hear, hear to Toni McAdams' and Grace Green's responses. Janet Vachon, you contradict yourself in your post. Not to mention taking the most misunderstood verse in the entire Bible out of context. You don't have to agree with any one else's standards, but lay off insulting them, k?

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Thats the point, all the bible bashers misunderstand gods words. My response wasnt to the person ASKING the question here, my response is to the a-holes that go on and on about god. As far as contradicting myself, NO that would be assuming I follow god or the words of god. Clearly 5 other people that "liked" this comment understand what my point was. How do you explain to a child about skin colour, about why people are fat or skinny, why some have disabilities etc.... its all the same. Should be a common sense question like that anyways.

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Well im a gay parent, and too be fair it the adults who have a hard time with the issue not the kids, our son has friends over, they don't bat an eyelid then the patent comes to Pick them up and the stares and stuttering follow! Most kids don't even notice who their fellow friends live with, it's adults that make issues. We bring our son up in neutral territory, I.e when we play tease with him, here's the sinariou, he's chatting about people in school and 1 boys name and 1 girls name keep cropping up, we might say ""oh so who's this Libby then your girlfriend!!"" to which my lad will say NO! Because he's 10! Then we would say ""ah so it must be Adam who's your boyfriend then!!""" to which we would get the same reply. Yes I do hope my son isn't gay when he's older just because it's a cruel world and I know how much predjuces there are out there. But I also want him to accept all different people in the world so we try hard not to exclude and group or put him into any stereo type. Just try to bring up your kids neutral, if you have an option on a certain issue, like lesbians, gays, transsexual, ect keep it to yourself as its your hang up, don't pass it on to your kids, let them create their own beliefs.

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I agree with the other comments, the question is how to explain gay relationships, it is unnecessary to start bashing Christians and has nothing to do with the question being asked.

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Who said anything about Christians? Could've been talking about Catholics. Im talking about ALL religious groups that have a problem with gay people. GET OVER IT....and yes it does have to do with the question. Kids dont bat a lash at gay people, kids learn how their parents(if u can call them that) react to gay people....supposed to love all people equally. If you can hate a person for loving someone of the same sex I bet my arse that the same bigots hate people of different colour too. Hate is hate.

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Yikes!! I think that Janet may have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed last week. For someone who is supposedly "straight", she sure gets crabby when she is talking about this subject. Oh, by the way, Janet, "Who said anything about Christians? Could've been talking about Catholics." Catholics ARE Christians! Sheesh.

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Grace, That's the first part of the answer on how to explain it to a child. I love everyone here. No name calling.

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Love the sinner, hate the sin. Just as the bible teaches.

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The God in the Bible is very clear on his view on Homosexuality and it has not changed. This World has changed and will continue to until the end. In the end of world as we know it God will have the finale word on everything that concerns us. Tell the your child that God loves everbody and yes even those who practice Homosexuality but not Homosexuality itself. It is a person free will and right to choose what ever lifestyle he or she wants and you have to respect that right because it is given to us by God himself and he will not even violate that right, other wise he would make everybody serve him.

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Thank you Lisa and Kimberly" I didn't know how to express my concerns without offending anyone. You expressed my beliefs well, and I can't imagine that anyone would find fault with your views.

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Gay is not a choice... it is a genetic dispostions. Otherwise, why else would there be gay animals? Look at some studies http://www.seattlepi.com/national/article/Study-suggests-homosexuality-begins-in-womb-1207258.php http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21309724/ns/health-health_care/t/gay-brothers-may-hold-genetic-clues/ Also the bible was written by men, not the complete word of God. They didn't understand it. T

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The Bible was written by men, is divine in nature and the men were inspired by God.

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Regan, I believe you said it right. It is a "DISPOSITION" Perhaps same as a weakness or disability and therefore we need to work against it and ask the Lord to help us. Kind regards.

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Regan, You are correct and you can't see it. You said a " genetic disposition". It is the same as being born with a disability. We have to continue to work against it with the help of our lord. Born with no sight, a person uses a rod and with the help of GOD he will proceed with his life. PS: I've noticed that my comments are being deleted. I'm beginning to think that this a pro-homosexual sight. I just hope people will have a chance to read this in the next few hours, minutes, or seconds what ever the case. GOD bless all of you.

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Committed same-sex relationships are not mentioned in the Bible. Don't believe everything you're told.

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What's ironic and awkward is that you acknowledge the fact that God has the last word, and yet immediately continue for the majority of your post to discuss your word. It's extremely sad and concerning when someone assumes the position of God. In the end, I agree with you, "God will have the finale word". Not you, not me- God. Thus, your opinion of homosexuality is meaningless. You don't get to decide or verify who God loves. You don't get to claim that "...yes even those who practice homosexuality" are loved by God, because, despite your interpretation of the bible, you're not God. You don't get to say what people "have to respect" and you don't get to say what God "will not even violate" .

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Children are not as complex as a lot of adults think. The simplest answers are usually the best ones. Love is love.

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Agree w so many of these statements. My boys are 15, 12 and 8. W the 15 year old and 12 year old a lot of our conversations have been about using, or rather, NOT using "gay" to mean something bad. Seems to be a common slang term in jr high and high school, "that is gay"...same thing as cursing or using racial slurs in my book and I've advised them to tell their friends the same thing. The rash of teen suicides last year due to bullying because of sexual orientation was just so horrifying to me, what if it were your child, niece or nephew...any child is one too many, regardless of your personal relationship with them. As we know, once you have your children, you become. " everybody's mother." I've also discussed this, the bullying incidents that led to those unfortunate, untimely deaths, at length w my 15 year old.

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My daughter is just 4 and I explained to her that sometimes instead of a lady and a man who get married sometimes its 2 ladies who get married or two men and it just depends on who you want to give moochies (kiss like in the movies) lol It was pretty basic but it was enough for her hehe I am hetrosexual but she saw two girls (having moochies lol) on tv and I thought I would explain. I think its best if they learn things early on and then they will have no worries with it because mum has explained it to them and mum thinks its fine so she will too!

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My kids were about 7 and 8 (now 20 and 22) when new neighbors moved in next door. They were 2 mommies with a boy and girl about the same age as my kids. Their children were from a previous marriage of one of the women. My kids befriended them and spent a lot of time at their house. They asked these women shared a bedroom and I explained to them why. The kids never felt funny about it and loved the mothers. The mothers are RNs and lived just like we did, work, dinner, homework, activities and so on. Soon after, we found out that my sister-in-law was gay. She asked for the kids to visit her and her partner (they are still together) in California. We told them that their aunt was in a relationship like the ladies next door and were perfectly fine with it. I think spending time at the neighbor's home made it easier for my kids to accept the lifestyle of their aunt.

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My daughter had a girl in her kindergarten class that had two mommies. She came home one day and was like Mia has two Mommies, isn't that super cool!?!?! I told her it was. About a week went by and she finally came to me and asked why she had two mommies instead of a mommy and a daddy. I told her because sometimes mommies fall in love with other mommies and sometimes daddies fall in love with other daddies. Fast foward to this past summer when she asked me about sex (she's 9 now!) I gave her the basic overview of it, she asked how Mia was born without a daddy getting her mommy pregnant, so then I had to explain adoption to her! Never give kids more information than they are asking for, find that balance point and walk it finely.

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For those who wrote about the Bible condemning homosexuality.
I do not know one respectable biblical scholar attributing the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah to homosexuality. Yet the words sodomy and sodomite have come to mean the perversity of homosexuality.

As the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were already under the sentence of doom, the destruction of Sodom could hardly have been the result of the attempted gang rape of the angels. The prophet Ezekiel makes this perfectly clear. This is how he sees it: "As surely as I live, declared the Sovereign Lord ... now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore, I did away with them as you have seen." (Ezekiel 16:48, 49)

The sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was the sin of inhospitality, the sin of hardness of heart in the presence of human need, the sin of injustice and neglecting the poor. That was the abomination to God. Those were the Sodomites. It is amazing how God's judgment upon a city for its corporate injustice has been transformed into a clarion call against private sexual behavior.
We should be honest and give up the hypocrisy of claiming, "I am a biblical literalist," when really everyone is a selective literalist, especially those who swear by the anti-homosexual laws of the book of Leviticus and then feast on barbecued ribs and delight in watching the Super Bowl. For the literalist, the book of Leviticus says it is an abomination, not only to eat pork but merely to touch the skin of a dead pig.
If the Levitical text on homosexual behavior is made normative—"A man shall not lie with another man as with a woman"—what do we do with other prohibitions? Wearing garments made with two different materials and sowing a field with two kinds of seed?
Let's be honest about the Bible. No biblical literalist I know of still publicly advocates slavery or stoning to death an adulterer—both urged in parts of the Bible.

In no way do I discount the Bible. It is the foundational document, the foundation for all churches around the world. It is central to my life as a religious person. But if you take the Bible seriously, you can't read it literally and dismiss what we have learned in the centuries after the Bible was finished.
Today we know gay and lesbian couples who live deeply committed lives of love and integrity. This sexual orientation and its expression in an honorable relationship was not the subject matter of the biblical writers. The really serious problem for Christians who live by "The Book" is not how to square homosexuality with certain passages which on the surface condemn it—but rather how to reconcile rejection, prejudice and cruelty toward gays with the gracious, unconditional love of Christ.

I am one of these mother's who is in a committed loving relationship with another woman and I love God. My kids are happy and well adjusted. I just worry about their friendships with other children who have mothers and fathers that tell them that I am a sinner and I am wrong. It doesn't matter what else you tell them about forgiveness and "loving the sinner". All they will hear is that my son's parents are bad. Bottom line is prejudice and ignorance is what drives the homophobic person to say these hurtful things. Please open your heart up to be friends with the homosexuals in your community, get to know us!

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well said

128 0

I can tell you one thing's for sure being lesbian doesn't make you a bad parent.

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How do you explain a straight relationship to your child?????

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Good question!

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I once heard a phyciatrist say," a man came into my office and said, 'doc, I believe something is wrong, I'm attracted to another man', but never have I had a man come into my office and say, doc. I believe something is wrong with me, I'm attracted to a woman".

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And that is why it is our job as parents to teach our children that love is love. One day nobody will ever have to ask a psychiatrist that question ever again if, as parents, we do our job. I believe education is key and we all need to let our children know that their feelings are true and real and that we support them in any decisions that they make. Loving someone is real. I hope all children, young adults and adults in my circle of life always feel accepted and loved for who they are and who they love.

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If your child goes to school at all, they will know children who live in a variety of situations -- with aunts, uncles or other relatives. Children today also have complicated visitation schedules with divorced parents. No need to get into the sexual dimensions of why two men or two women are caring for a child. "Because your friend is adopted" may be all the answer you need. If one of the parents is biological, "because your friend's mommy/daddy isn't with their other parent anymore. Now they live with their friend ___ who is helping them raise your friend." That is, the same or a similar explanation you would give about a child's friend with parents who don't live together.

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I have 15 year old twin boy`s who`s farther is gay and live`s with his partner the boy`s live with me but there has never been a problem for us and no need for much conversation about it has just been exepted as the way things are, both boy`s have a good relatonship with there dad and his partner

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My children are well aware that we as Christians believe that as in the days of Sodom and Gomora, the Gay lifestyle is very wrong. However, we are all sinners. Although each person sins in different ways, churches are hospitals for sinners. My husband asked me what I'd do if our son or daughter chose that lifestyle. Truthfully I would not be happy about it but I would still love them the same. There is a reason why God created Adam and Eve. The sanctified marriage is one with a man and woman. The Bible is very blunt about sodomy being unacceptable.

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Amen, Mrs. Wagner. Well said.

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Not all gay people commit sodomy, to each there own I love everyone and pray they love as well, the sins of others aren't our own. My god is a loving and forgiving god and wants me to do the same. PS my father is gay and was the best parent anyone could ask for. He kept my faith in a chruch that comdemed him because he knew a relationship with god was important no matter how closed minded that fallowers were.

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Not all of us Christians believe that. More and more, people are looking at the scriptures a little more deeply, and a little more critically, and cming to the conclusion that what we hve been taught the verses in the Bible say isn't necessaruily the only interpretation, and given that, it is a possiblity for a critically thinking Christian can come to the lgitimate conclusion that the Bible doesn't mention committed same sex relationships negatively (and may possibly, given historical information, even condone them. (The centurions' boy is likely to have been his lover, given the historical informatin we have avaiable to us, for example, though it remains a possibility he wasn't.) You mentioned Sodom and Gomorrah. If you look carefully at the text, it seems to imply more condemnation of rape, or sleeping with angels, to me. The work for "homosexual" has been thought to be masturbation, etc, and is alost certain to have referred to an unconsensual pedophilic situation, certainly diffeent from two committed same-sex adults. Even Romans, if you go back a few verses before 1:26 and 27 and read it carefully, refers to the sin of not listening to God and falling out of God's eyes. the same word for "unnatural" was used for God turning his attention to Gentiles, so i my yes, it's more likely to refer to what's not culturaly normative. And kep reading into chapter 2, which talks about not judging. (the chapter breaks/paragraph breaks re artificial.) I wish you all the best in figuring out what scripture means. I see you have a great heart for God. Do keep in mind, that if your son or daughter turns ot to be gay (which statistically, is about a one in 10 chance for each child), that having an openly condeming position from a parent is likely to 1. increase his/her chances of suicide about eightfold, and 2. result in a faith crisis in which may result in your son or daughter giving up faith if they are unable to find an affirming interpretation of the sciptures for themselves, and is unable to reconcile that a loving God made tem in a way as to desire inimacy, and not be able to receive may result in the giving up of faith in a God that he/shewould understandably perceive as personaly cruel. Even if this isn't your on, it may be his friend, or tyour frien's daughter, etc. I do believe as Christians we do hold a special resposibility for what e teach our young folks, and to me, an affirming stance is the only logical loving eaction, if you can come to the conclusion that either side may be valid. ( Statistcs, verses,etc are from memory, so please do your own research to confirm what I wrote- the general idea holds, even if the details aren't exact).

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Well said, Mrs. Wagner. It is very hard to accept that lifestyle of one of your children. I found out my oldest has turned to the same sex. She also has a five year old daughter. I will always love her, but it is hard to accept that she has chosen that lifestyle when you have raised her to believe that man and woman are to be together.

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I'd just tell them that love is love and people can't help who they fall in love with. I hate that there is so much homophobia against gays. And I'm straight. I will stand for every gay right there is. I'm a strong believer in anyone should be able to get married. After all gay people aren't hurting anyone. I'd also tell them to treat others how they want to be treated. I treat everyone with respect except for when they disrespect me. Some of the nicest people I've met are gay.

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They can help it. They just choose not to. Is it right for a married person to fall in love with someone else and commit infedelity. Wouldn't it be hurtful to their spouse. We can ask the lord for help. He has all the answers. GOD bless.

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Jane I agree with everything you said. Mauro I have issues with anyone who has an affair, but its not the same thin as being gay.

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I would say that it depends on the age of the child and their level of understanding. i would not make a big deal about it. Everyone is different. Period. There is no need to get graphic or go into detail or moralize on it. I think if you are comfortable with it, they will take it in stride.

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We just said at that age that so and so has two mommies or two daddies and left it at that until they got older and the conversation Evolves..

3
0 0

U know all u bible thumpers and ignoramusses automatically assume that being homosexual is lifestyle choice well i tell u it damn aint it is in us we dont choose to be homosexual we r driven by attraction just like hetorsexuals this coming from a christian who has fought and fought to disrecard my sexuality all my life since i was able to understand sexuality ive tried to end my life etc etc and for ur information also it is not being gay thats the sin it is the sexual act that is the sin NEWSFLASH SAME GOES FOR HETORSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS

2
7 41

We have quite a few different gay/lesbian people in our family and friends. My son is quite old enough for questions yet but I know in my heart what I'll say should he ever have questions... People fall in love. Period. It doesn't matter if heir boys and girls like mommy and daddy or boys and boys like our friend or girls and girls like our cousins. Everyone has the ability and choice to love anyone they want. End of conversation.

2
22 73

We haven't had to explaining anything to our five-year old son yet, but we have good friends in same-sex relationships. It's interesting that their identities as people are the most important things, and so the "relationship" part has never been mentioned. When the time comes, though, I will simply explain what others here have mentioned ... that different people have different relationships and what matters most is who they are and not who they happen to "like." We love them and hope whomever they "like" is kind and good to them.

2
5 12

I have to say all of your answers are wonderful and something I will use in explaining it to my daughter. It hasn't come up yet, we live in a pretty small Iowa town, however, 2 days ago a 14 year old boy from a town about 20 miles from here, took his life b/c he "came out" that he was gay about a month ago, and ended up being bullied and the police are looking into the report of death threats, so I am very glad to see all of your answers. Thank you to all of you for the reassurance of good people in the world!

2
22 73

Missouri legislation has been introduced for schools to no longer have conversations about being gay or anything to do with homosexuality (like GLBT support groups), much like in Minnesota where other teens have also committed suicide after being bullied. What a waste! It hurts me to think "our" children are socialized into such hatred against other people who are different than them.

4 0

I tell My stepkids they have to try to be straight because it is way too hard to be gay. I do not want the kids at school to make fun of them.

1
0 0

You explain it like you would explain any other kind of relationship. If your child sees two moms or two dads or two whatever they may be at school or in public and ask you about it, just say they love each other like every other kind of pair does. Doesn't matter if they're gay or anything.

1
32 82

I will tell them the truth that two men/two women love eachother the same way nanny and grandad love eachother and they loved eachother so much they had a baby like mummy and daddy.
I would also arrange a playdate with the child of the gay parents incl the parents so they could become friends and see that 2 mummies/2daddies have the same life as a mummy and daddy...

i think its hard to pinpoint what yo would say until you were actually in the position with your child...

1
126 18

I would tell my daughter that love is so big and boundless that it has no prejudice of skin color, or preference of persons. Seeing that she is bi racial I would explain how her daddy and I loved eachother so much we didn't even look at the skin tone because love see's the most important thing -- which is what is inside. And the same goes for gay relationships.
I would also clarify to her that some people prefer to be with men and men, others prefer to be with women and men. That if she ever preferred a woman, she can come to me and I would be okay with it.

Lord knows that my love for my daughter has no limits and I would want to always be her anchor in a world in which we have to use verses of a bible to push the rights of "LOVE" away.

1
512 54

I Googled both, Homo and Heterosexuality. I read him the definitions. Then asked him if he understood?
Btw, don't Google it like I did! Naughty stuff popped up that I was NOT prepared for...my children did not see it, but non the less, SHOCKER!!

1
12 25

I have read a lot of comments some good some bad. As a Christian I believe in teaching my children biblical principles of marriage and yes sin. I do also believe that you should not judge. That is for God alone. I see no need to go into details with my children about this subject matter, to me it is the same as talking with them about porn. I look at it as sin and they are taught that way. No matter what a persons lifestyle choice is we do not judge and this is taught to my children first and foremost. We love and respect everyone as individuals. I see no need to discuss sex life in that manner. When they become age appropriate I think it should be handled the same as any other conversation you have with your child about sex.

1
1 5

Very well said Rachel , I agree with you. It is unfortunate that I have to have this conversation with my 10 year old. But he has to know that just like with the choices he makes in life.. all choices have consequences

5 0

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0
0 0

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0
1 0

My 11 year old found out from adult cartoons her dad let her watch, (family guy, american dad, simpsons) I don't approve and he's been doing it for months, just found out recently, anyway she understand that some people are gay, a few of her friends are lesbians, one of our neighbors is, she's just now understanding what it is...

0
18 0

I think that was probably one of the easiest things I had to explain to my son (6 at the time) when he asked about one of his friends that has two mommies. I told him that they loved each other and wanted to share that love by having a family. Don't over complicate and if it happens to be something that your family disagrees with, just say "but we don't agree with it" and leave it at that. No need to demean or make them seem less than anyone else.

0
0 0

I believe in evolution, science, not 'the word of god' or the asshole Leviticus. I have taught my kids to belive in love and acceptance. They've known about gay relationships longer than strait ones. Jacqueline was confused when she say her first man and man couple she asked how they have babies and why they weren't two mommys. I explained that they are boys and they adopt kids. Then she saw a strait couple and asked the lady why she was with a man when she should be with a girl and the man should be with another man they were confused I told her that they are just like her momys and her friends daddys they love each other. If people only taught love and acceptance the world would be better, even if they believe in god if we all taught our kids that the world would be a better place.

0
0 0

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0
51 0

Just as you would explain any other relationship.

0
176 1

www.abovethetrees.ca - I wrote a book for my daughter that explains there are all different kinds of family...and the family that you are in, is the perfect family for you. Our local school here was promoting my book as a good resource for elementary school level for anti bullying, as it does introduce the concept of "two mommies, two daddies, one mom, and one dad, there were grandma's, aunts and sisters, even grand dads, and each jungle family looked as right as right could be, why there even was a giraffe foster family. The children I have read to have all been elementary age and no one has ever asked any questions, and in fact, in some schools the kids thought two mommies, two daddies, were for divorced couples that re-married...which was not even in my mind when I wrote it. It is so important that we let children know they are all unique and loved. I am just a single mom who wrote this for my daughter to explain that her dad was not in her life. He has made that choice, but I never wanted her to feel that it was "about her", It is a story about a giraffe that grows up questioning where is her dad, and the he simple got "lost" in the jungle. She understands that when your lost it is not about how much you love someone, sometimes you just can't find your way back. I have done this from the truest part of my heart and was so excited when the school asked if I minded it being recommended as part of an anti-homophobic policy. I want my daughter to embrace all the different kinds of families and not think less of her own just because it is still considered "non-traditional" in a small town.

0
40 0

Gay and lesbian couples are on a lot of tv shows these days, and I don't shelter my daughter from much, except sex/excessive kissing on tv. I explain the dangers of certain things like her seeing drinking, smoking, drugs, violence, etc. on tv, so that she will understand that sometimes those things are glorified. She has seen a lot on tv, and understands which things are truly bad and which circumstances are simply different than ours. I mentioned those subjects only because they are sometimes considered taboo subjects to discuss with young children. She said "gross" when she first saw a gay kiss on tv, but then I explained to her that not all men or women choose to be with someone of the opposite sex. Children will be exposed to all different types of families and classmates, so you can either wait until they ask, or until you see them exposed to a loving gay interaction to slip into a conversation about it. My six year old seems to understand about gay relationships, but she her feelings have yet to be tested in real life.

0
0 0

First of all I would love them to the end. Then I would explain how it is wrong. This is the way I would put it.
I believe it would start with a person feeling confused. Then explain that we are all born a little different and that no one is born perfect. Certain handicaps are desinged into our nature and weaknesses are no exception. Some are visual to the eye, and some aren't. I believe that the confusion that individuals experience such as homosexuality is nothing different than having the feeling of having extramarital relations even if your straight. The weakness is the feeling in whitch we have to continue to work against. It would be like being born with no legs, yet that person will have to make a way to continue a normal life and as his brother, we in turn, help with his disability. I would always choose my words carefully and with a gentel touch of grace and kindness. And first and formost, with the help of our Lord

0
7 0

Being a homosexual is not a handicap, disability, or a choice. Those are not gentel words. they are confusing to a child. There is nothing wrong with being a homosexual and if you are so christian you wouldn't judge or teach your children to judge. Everyone loves in a different way and God loves everyone.

13 22

I see several comments stating this is a choice of lifestyle but in many cases it is not. Many homosexuals know at a very early age that they are different than other children of their same sex. Often these are the teens that commit suicide rather than live with who they are. Do you not think that if it was as simple as making a choice then they would just start dating the opposite sex? To me any suicide "screams" desperation and unhappiness and not being able to see a solution for your problems. The highest rate of suicide in teens is amongst our homosexual teens. Many who do choose the lifestyle are those that have been sexually and/or brutally abused by members of the opposite sex. I am straight and I am a christian. The old testament brought us an eye for an eye but Jesus brought us the law of love and never forget we will be judged as we judge others. To get back to the original question you can make the answer simple by explaining that there are many different families, single (divorced and death of a parent) , blended, foster, adopted, two moms or two dads, or families where children are being raised by relatives other than biological families. Remember we are our brothers keeper, love one another and pray that you don't have to go through the experience first hand with one of your own.

0 0

I think it's telling that you think your kids aren't exposed to gay people because they're in a christian school. LOL...you have no idea how many queers you're all surrounded by every single day--including church. Funny thing about kids--unless they're influenced by homophobic, ignorant people, and/or by people claiming to be christian without adhering to its beliefs, they don't really care. Kids are brilliant in that they see right to the point of something without all the unnecessary stuff adults like to add. They see love, they see love--it isn't gay or straight. To those of you who think gay is a choice or something not found in the suburbs or church pews, I hope you open your eyes soon. And if your religion is important to you, read about it and think about it with your very own brains rather than believing what you're told by someone whose experiences shaped their life and their beliefs. I wish all of you love and light.

0 0

There is nothing wrong with any sexuality.

0 0

You can't 'fix' us. Were born like this. By this your saying that you could also be 'confused' how do we know your not the one in the wrong? Maybe your right I'll go 'fix' my wife and I. I thought you guys were accepting mothers, nice to know there's a few biggots.

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