How to handle a cheating partner

Few things in life are as painful or confusing as finding out your spouse or partner has been cheating on you. Whether it spells the end or is worth working through your problems together, what are ways you've found for coping with a loved one's infidelity?

40  Answers

32 3

It was the hardest/easiest dicision I ever made. 8 yrs ago our daughter was really sick. my husband told me to call him at work if the doctor wanted her back at the hospital. later that afternoon, I got a call to bring her back, called him at work, couldn't get ahold of him, so I called his supervisor. He told me that my husband had called in a sick day ( before telling me to call him at work). I left a note, said we were at the hospital. He arrived at the time he would had he gotten home from work. I asked him where he had been all day, he said work and I said then I'll get your supervisor fired as he told me you called in a sick day at 6am, and you left home at 7am. He went pale then tried to explain that he got to work and a co-worker had an emergency and needed to go to an appointment in another town so he did the nice thing and took her.

I looked at him and said " so you chose a co-worker's health over that of your child's health. Go kiss her goodnight, back and bag and leave. You cheated on me and more importantly you cheated on your child." He was mad --but I kept the house, my daughter and my dignity. He's still with that co-worker, except he lost his job because of this and hasn't worked in 8 yrs. I think I did much better , and for some reason the co-worker doesn't like me.... go figure.

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BRAVO!

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You go girl!!

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well done!! life's move on when we really feel enough is enough, and we shall put energy into our own as well as our kids livelihood and well-being. I have done the same as well. Apparently after D he made a U-turn back wanting to make effort to be part of this family again, so i grant him this chance and so far so good. Yes, forgive..but seriously tough to forget so Trust Level is still not strong here yet ;D

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what a jerk.....well done....admire u

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Exactly...his first reaction was to lie and to deceive then he is not worth it, you did what was right for you and your child at the time, when it's cut and dry like that don't use a butter knife to sever ties GET AN AXE. (no I do not mean kill anyone just the relationship)

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Well done..i really am happy for you for coming out tops, and to tell him to pack and leave immediately. It took me 16 years of cheating, here's the thing; his mom had a 'condition' or disease..she would go on a 'drunken spree' for a week-end..sometimes a week and sleep with several men' But it always ended there. So theoretically - she had 'one night stands' ..til perhaps 3 months later the same thing would happen and my husband grew up watching this yes..it's learned behaviour. I met Len when we were in our teens, spent weekends at his house and would see with my own eyes; this glamorous, hardwarking, homeloving woman destroy so much in a few days of total 'Drunkedness' - his step-dad just took it and stayed home, 3 kids: my husband 17 his step brother 15 and youngest sister 13. She was always remorseful and blamed the booze..and of course, 'Would NEVER do it again!' Yeah, she did..and when my man and I married all was fine, we waited 4 yrs before having kids and then began a family and were blessed with a gorgeous son....alas, then the same 'drunken binges' that his mother did started!!! The difference here was (in my own mind) he learned this from his mother...and 'he is drunk (I mean really drunk) and did not do it unless drunk'. He always promised me he loved me more than life itself..those 'one-night stands' meant nothing as he was so drunk and would probably not even rocognize the woman if he saw her again' Well sad to say i believed that theory...he DID love ME...those were the 'drunk women' and it did not happen often!!! BUT it was destroying me as a person, and when I left...he cried and pleaded for me to return, I said 'Give up the booze..which brings on these 'bouts' and I will take you back..he said 'I cannot do anything without you, please come home' I said 'Nope...these are on MY terms etc' - well he was so drunk one night..and crashed and died at the age of 32, he left me totally shattered with a girl of 5 and a boy of 8...and then I was 'guilty' - 'perhaps if I had taken him...he would not have died???' Well my children are grown up...that all happened 20 years ago...but - soul destroying? Yes!! Another BUT - and that is you PICK yourself up...learn to laugh at life.....and 'make that new life for you and your kids' I was NOT a wealthy widow..and man it was tough..but today I am proud of the most wonderful kids in the world and I taught them everything their father was NEVER taught..sad...these are one of the 'vicious' circles of life stories! But - my feelings are for women who felt like me: 'Ah..he was drunk, it was NOT love' and it was only done in the name of drink......that sometimes can be harder to accept, deal with and 'KNOW' how to deal with, because in your mind you saying it was NOT a real 'affair'............xx

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good for you

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I know this post was from a few years ago, but how have you handled it now? I was 7 months pregnant when he emailed me from his deployment saying he wanted a divorce out of the blue. I fell into depression while he continued to fall in love with a nurse he deployed with. We divorced this past thanksgiving and they got engaged. My son will be 1 next month and his father claims he wants to see him but only if he can bring his mistress gone wife otherwise he won't see him to "avoid dealing with me". I'm going crazy trying to understand what she has to do with my son and his relationship. Any advice would help

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46 0

Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee. My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need Love-spell to Win your Man Back from Another Woman or Win your Boyfriend/girlfriend back forever. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 , Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , blogsite:https://unityspelltmple.blogspot.com . Website:https://unityspelltempleblog.wordpress.com

46 0

Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee. My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need Love-spell to Win your Man Back from Another Woman or Win your Boyfriend/girlfriend back forever. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 , Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , blogsite:https://unityspelltmple.blogspot.com . Website:https://unityspelltempleblog.wordpress.com

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5 6

It is THE most painful, shocking, stupefying thing you can ever face. Once it happens things are never the same: you constantly wonder what is wrong with me that this happenened; you constanstly in your mind second guess him and where he is and who he is with even though you try not to; you don't want him to go anywhere alone (especially on business trips); you are constantly fearful of gaining weight, of not looking your best for him, not performing properly for him, letting him down, or having an argument let alone a fight.....for fear that it happens again and then what little of your heart that is not broken would surely implode. You think of suicide, you wonder how many other people know about it and what they are saying about you behind your back. If it is with someone that you know he will eventually come in contact with or is close to you drive yourself mad thinking of what is next. You ask all the horrible questions like why? Is she better than me? Does he think so little of me? I am that bad that he has to go looking for it? What is lacking in our marriage? Do I still love him? Can I stay with him? Can I afford to leave him? How will I live? How can I keep it secret if I leave him? What will people say about me? about him? what will my family think?

All of these and more will plague you for the longest while until you decide WHAT it is you want to do about it. You think well I should go out and do the same to him? Forget it, because it will never hurt him as much as it hurts you right now, he is an offender of the commitment you made to each other and therefore does not hold those values and vows in high regard. You will just end up hating yourself for stooping as low as he did and then you have that mistake that you have to live with on top of what he did to you and how it makes you feel. Think of who you'll be hurting, especially if their are kids involved....remember the old saying ....two wrongs doesn't make it right. It never will you'll just have joined the ranks of the cheaters and worse the retaliators in life, those that get even..... and no one wants to be friends with those kind of people.

What you need to do is BREATHE and take one day at a time. Find a way to vent your anger ON YOUR OWN....do not involve the children as they will pick sides and never forget and then you are just perpetuating your pain and hardship onto them and they will carry this throughout their whole life and God forbid become cruel and vendictive people and will eventually hate you for it.

On your own go somewhere where you can scream, cry, stomp your feet, let your heart that is bleeding let the pain out. You have to find a way to release that black energy, damming energy before it dambs you to an early grave. Then Breathe again and again and then you talk. You explain what his actions have cost your relationship. You let him know that the pain may never fully go away because you are now functionning with less of a heart because part of it died. You talk and you listen and you breathe, it will take a long time, days, weeks, months.....it will come up again everytime you are watching a movie and a similar situation is enacted then stop watching it and tell him the damb has a leak......water is seeping back in and you don't want to drown......if he throws you a lifepreserver and tries to save you, if he does what he can to breathe life back into you, into your life, your heart, your mind, your soul.....then he is probably worth keeping and you rebuild. Be open and honest about the things that have now become triggers for you.....people that look like her, people that have the same name, whatever the circumstances...these are now triggers that you and he will have to watch for and avoid together. Don't seek them out but know enough to avoid them if the situation arises, and it will just remember if you build a good dam together and watch for leaks and fix them right away with talk and listening and special attention you stand a chance at not drowning in your own tears and those of who you will infect with the words that can never be taken back....He cheated on me. Accept your situation and deal with it, and no you are not tattooed, their is no sign on your back telling others what happenend and it is best, You are strong enough to deal with this. Their are many worse things in life that can happen. Yes this is horrendous and feels like the world is ending but don't let it. Their are brighter days ahead. Know that I have been there and that if nothing else I am rooting for you and trying to show the porper example by not destroying others, the inocents along the way and so can you. Do something special....JUST FOR YOU and do it again and again even if only in your mind, be kind to yourself, no one can take that love away from you.

HOWEVER, if he does not take full responsability for his actions then he is not sorry, or willing to fix the problem. So to him I say don't let the door hit you on the way out and NO you can take nothing with you, you gave it all up once you tried to blame (whatever/whoever) anything instead of yourself.....plus...see you in court I am going for damages, the house, the retirements funds....

Having said that if he is truly remorseful and understands the extent of the damage he caused and is willing to go the triathalon of life in making things right then their is hope....Breathe, Talk, and Listen only then through understanding can you recreate a relationship in which you both feel happy.

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OMG, you make me cry!!!

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You speak from experience and I share your sorrow. And ultimately, ever decision, action and reaction has to be what only *you* can do. Friends don't understand why you stay or why you leave. You can only listen to your own heart in the end. Hugs girlfriends.

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go girl! i admire your decision. You are right! try to fix it first before leaving it broken. thank you for sharing..

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You should be a counsellor, you have a gift. You can empower people and help heal their hearts.

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omg youve just described every feeling ive had since my bf cheated on me a year and a half ago... weve done all those things and are still not back to square one but i dont think we ever will be either... i just want to thank you for lettting me know someone else understands and i wasnt just crazy!! ♥

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An enlightened view of infidelity. People say, with bravado, that they'll leave a cheating partner. However, there are children; money; AND the love that person (who was cheated on) still feels for the cheating partner.

0 0

your story is my story! your feelings are my feeelings! we are working thru this together, made huge changes in our world, and talk openly about what we are dealing with in our hearts and minds! i was always of the mindset to NEVER stay with someone that has cheated on me, but it's worth a shot when he is your best friend, the love of your life, father of our children, and just as broken for breaking your heart! GOD is more a part of our lives now and we are working thru this part of our relationship GOD bless all the women and children who have been hurt bc of a cheater! you know in your heart if it's worth fighting for

5 6

A special person wrote to me and I just thought I'd share with you what my response to her was, without personal details to protect her identity. Keep a hold on what makes you happy, don't let the bitterness take over. I will tell you that the situation I referred to was with my current husband while we were in europe a year ago. I still feel the pain, I still have leaks in the dam and he knows to watch out for them and avoid them with me. You have to vent it out get that dark hatefull energy out some way. By the way he is my third husband and what I learned is that it is an everyday learning experience in how to be happy alone, and with others. It is sooo important in life that we love ourselves, forgive ourselves and learn to breathe healthy air, especially for our kids aswell. They pick up on things. Find something, someway that makes you happy and do it even if it's in your mind and you close your eyes and meditate on it a couple of times a day. Do it !!! and another thing, everytime you look at your reflection in a mirror or a window say this to yourself "I'm a good and worthwhile person and I love me" Do it!!! say it out loud at first, say it anytime you have doubts, have your kids say it, it's a positive healthy rebuilding process. If you picture a big basket of apples and their are a few rotten ones in that basket, if you don't get rid of them they will spoil the rest of them. so you have to get rid of them, but you have tofeel fulfilled aswell so everytime you are nice to yourself it's like giving yourself an apple, like taking a hot bath with candles and meditating, that can be an apple, signing a song, noticing nature....all these things can be apples for you, then you will notice that your basket is getting pretty full so the next step is doing good things to others, giving them one of your good apples to make room for the good apples you are giving yourself, that is called being ALIVE the more you do it, the more you do for others, strangers even, the better you breathe the more love and happiness invade your soul. Take care, try my method, it is worth living by and sharing. :)

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Everything you said is so true. This is the worst feeling some days are better then others. My husband came forward to tell me he cheated......... As I try everyday to move forward a month isn't long enough. Time can only tell:(

5 0

Wow I can also relate with you. No one else i personally know can even relate to me now. Everyone that know expects one to just get over it and forgive him. Just because other women can just be fine esp. these days and are desensitized and or too caught up with materialism etc..and in denial. I am not that type of person anyway and esp. not at the age of 44 -- i am wiser than just allowing blindly things to continue with out anything -- accountability and validation as if I was a dog or animal. My God people are now more loyal and take better care of their pets than their wives in society. It is so wrong and twisted and beyoind sad. One thing I know for sure I AM NOT GETTING ON THAT TRAIN EVER!!! I am going to heal at my own pace as well as forgive and trust --NOT HIS! NO ONE WILL TELL ME WHAT IS BEST FOR US NOW BUT IT IS GOING TO BE WHAT IS BEST FOR ME. At the point he left "US" out of the picture when he was doing what he was doing ---HE CHOSE TO leave the "US" OUT NOT ME. I am the one betrayed, hurt, in pain and left with these disgusting memories~~

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Thank goodness someone else is for real and not desensitized to a stupor as so many around are these days about the truth of these things. I am not going to ever buy into that women have to just forgive and forget. First off unless your on drugs and nibble minded that not possible and i will FORGIVE WHEN I AM GOOD AND READY. I WILL TRUST WHEN I AM GOOD AND READY AND I'M GOING TO FORGET WHEN I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYMORE DUH - I HAVE A MEMORY AND I CANT SHUT IT OFF DUH EVEN IF I WANTED TO. So then they should have thought about what the consequences BEFORE THEY DID WHAT THEY DID. Men need to be quite at this point and do nothing but listen and do what is BEST FOR US!! WOMEN/WIVES NEED TO BE TOTALLY UNDERSTOOD AS HARD AS IT MAY BE NOW THEN OH WELL MEN SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT ALL THAT BEFORE DOING THEIR NASTY CRAP!!! WE HAVE A RIGHT AS WOMEN TO HAVE RIGHTEOUS ANGER AND WE DO NOT NEED TO BOTTLE IT UP INSIDE. As hard as it may be on anyone --it will do no one any better for any woman to just take all this crap lying down. It is UGLY SITUATION AND THESE GUYS MADE IT THAT WAY. Us being in denial for everybody else sakes or for appearances etc. etc and LIVING SOME CRAZY LIEEEE IS NOT GOING TO DO ANYONE GOOD BUT INSTEAD YOUR CHILDREN OR OTHERS JUST MAY REPEAT THE BEHAVIOR BECAUSE THEY WILL THINK IT IS OKAY WHILE YOU ARE ONLY DYING INSIDE AND MEN PLUS WHORES GET AWAY WITH THEIR DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR. How does any of that sound best???? NOW IT WILL BE ABOUT ME AND ALL MY NEED AND HE FORFEITED HIS AND IT BEING ABOUT "US" WHEN HE LEFT THAT 2 LITTLE LETTER WORD OUT WHEN HE DD THE THINGS HE DID. Where exactly was "US" when he did his DIRTY CRAP?? NO WHERE OBVIOUSLY SO NO HE SHOULD BE JUST AS FINE WHEN IT IT IS NOT ABOUT "US" NOW BUT ABOUT ME AND HAVING MY NEEDS MET AND HIM ONLYYYY LISTENING UNTIL LADIES YOU ARE HEALED AND YOU CAN ONLY DECIDE THAT THROUGH THE LORD ---NOT him. Ladies love yourself enough to know you deserve what he vowed as wives esp. and what he promised as well with those engaged in commitment. For the rest I would say if he did not make any official commitments then even better and easier LET HIS NASTY ASS GOOOO.

5 0

I heard so many things about DR Lawrence and every story has been so great. so here is my story, me and the father of my son has been off and on for 3 years its been a very stressful relationship. he cheated on me and I was very hurt, it was miserable for me so in returned I cheated because I wanted him to feel the pain but he never cares so we went apart, so he went back to his ex.i wanted him to leave her and let us come back together, I love him so much and I just want him to feel the same way feel for him, lucky for me DR Lawrence was the one who brought my lover back to me, drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail. com

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Sincerely i was so crushed when my Husband of 8 years left me and moved to Texas to be with another woman. The pains was just too much for me to bear that I couldn't just bear it anymore. So i had to reached out to the Internet for help until i found out that DR DAN was the real deal. I almost gave up trying to get my Ex Husband back in having a happy, Lovely and a contented family again.. I had tried the whole lot I knew, and with your spells, blessings and extraordinary magical powers, you did all the work for me, which you have guaranteed me positive result in 4 DAYS, my Ex Husband came back to me and he was remorseful for the whole lot he has done. And now my life is balanced and i am happy again. DR DAN you did a great service to people, and I don't think many people had known about you. You are the diamond in the rough. Thank you DR DAN You are talented and you give off yourself so freely like you did to me. Thank you for weaving your magical love spells for me and MY HUSBAND. He is back to me just the way it was when we first met.. from the depths of my soul! I am immeasurably happy now.. now my man is back to me just in 4 DAYS, as you have said it..wow.. your website turely rewarded me.. Thank you so much sir, Lots of appreciations.. Here is DR DAN website: http://blessedspellhome.wix.com/dr-dan and his Email:BLESSEDSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM. Tel: +1 (310) 751-7818

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10 8

I found out that my husband had been cheating when he left his text messages open and fell asleep. I was devastated and text her to break them up. He was very apologetic when he realised I knew. This was short lived because a week later he couldn't keep it in his pants and got back with her. He saw her over Christmas behind my back and even slept with us both on the same day on occasion. She then text me in the early hours of New Years day to tell me she was still with him. He had promised to leave me for her that night. I split them again. A week later they returned to their usual ways. At the end of January I had had enough and kicked him out as he wanted'thinking time'. I arranged for his mum to take him in. The following evening he went back to her. 10 days later I ended the relationship, changed the locks and filed for divorce. Nearly 12 months on and he is still holding up proceedings for the Absolute. But I am moving on. I've regained my confidence and my children and I are a strong family unit. It is probably the best thing I could have done as I have discovered that he had had at least 2 other affairs whilst we were married. His tart is welcome to that loser big time. NEVER PUT UP WITH A CHEAT! LEOPARDS NEVER CHANGE THEIR SPOTS!!!!

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So true!!!

0 4

wow im so proud of u woman....u did the right thing.....god bless u always

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i luv the way u do it...i'm proud of u....

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you did the right thing

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I love your last sentence...'A LEOPARD NEVER CHANGES IT'S SPOTS!!!!' I am afraid in MOST cases..probably 95% of cheating cases...at the end of the day..Once a Cheat - Always a Cheater.....Why should he stop, if he gets taken back all the time anyway..Yes occasionally there is a case where a man makes a true'Mistake' and mends his ways..and there is a 'Happily ever After" - But Ladies 95 - no 99% of the time it's a case of 'Once a Cheater...ALWAYS a CHEATER'!!!

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Don’t ever settle for second best. If your partner cheats once, chances are it will happen again. Life is too short to try to fake relationships!

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It will happen again until the issue is resolved, both in you and your partner and in the relationship.

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I would like to agree once a cheat always. But I don't. I my self have always been the one hurt in relationships but I do believe even after a betraying event. If you are truly willing to forgive and I'm not saying it will be easy because we all know its one of the hardest things to forgive once that bond of trust has been shattered. But if he is willing to walk threw fire and admittedly agrees how wrong and the damage He has cased . The only way it would ever work is if you are willing to put it completely. Behind you because if not then it will always haunt your marriage. But I have seen a man see the damages he made and completely turn around.

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i NEVER SLEPT WITH ANY OTHER WOMAN, I SAID I WOULD LIKE TO MET THEM BUT NEVER DID EVER AND ALL THE TIME I WAS WITH HER. I WAS NOT SURE ABOUT HER BECAUSE OF THINGS SHE SAID SO I GAVE HER A CHANCE BUT SHE THOUGHT I WAS CHEATING!! ISTOPED IT ALL AND SHE LEVER LET UP SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I SAID SORRY AND PROMISED NOT TO DO ANY THING STUPID BUT FRIEND CONTACT ME AND I TELL THEM I AM IN VOLVED BUT GIRLFRIEND STILL THINKS I AM CHEATING WHENI AM NOT HOW DO I CORRECT THIS SITUATION I BROUGHT IT ALL ON ME - I WONT CHEAT ON HER IWAS JUST TRYINGTOGET RIDE OF ALL THE DATES SITES FOR BUT SHE HASNOT DELETED THE DATES SITES HER SELF SHE SAYS SHE HAS SELF CONTROL IR WORRIES ME .SHE KNOW ABOUT THE SITES TOO . I STOPED ALL MY ACTIVITY CHANGED MY EMAIL ID AND FACEBOOK PROFILE TOO TO GET RIDE OF THE PAST BUT SHE STILL PURSISTED I LOVE HER VERY MUCH AND DONT WANT TO LOSE HER CAN SOME ONE HELP ME . EMAIL: abruce890@yahoo.com.au

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that is easy moms, you open the door en show him the way

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Sometimes it is not that easy. It all depends on the situation/details. Speaking from experience, we managed to work through it, and are stronger coming out the other side. Some things in life fall into that grey area and are not so black or white.

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Don't kid yourself, this is a symptom of a bigger problem in the relationship. It's terribly, terribly painful, but worth working through. Seek marriage counciling. It will get worse before it gets better, but again, it's worth trying to work though. You owe it to yourselves and your kids.

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Well, our parents always taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate...

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Oh, that's funny!!! Got a call the other day asking if he could bring HER to church this week to watch our son sing (special thing for prek). I didn't want to be the bitch so I said yes, but now I'm rethinking my decision. That's MY church where I'm the worship leader, so not only do I have to concentrate on leading worship, be sociable to parishioners and watch my son, now I have to worry about avoiding them! I don't care that they're dating, she can have him, but I'm not ready to face it yet!

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I just want to encourage you that NO, you DON"T have to worry about facing her! You are you; you be you and act like you would if she wasn't around! I speak from experience...my husbands ex couldn't stand me, but I went anywhere those chidlren were because I was there for THEM, not her. Stand tall, be happy, and you know, you being the better of the two of you can show her Christ. I know, you don't like her and what she's done, but still...hang in there! Stand tall, and don't rethink your decision! As I read your post, I thought of how brave you were and how awesome you were to say yes.....

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Thanks-it all went well until my 5yo grabbed my hand and said he wanted to introduce me to her, because it was nice and the polite thing to do! I'm so glad I've raised my son to be such a polite child!!! So I grabbed a gf and went out to meet her. Said hello and goodbye in the same breath and went on my merry little way! It did feel good, however, that my son didn't want to leave with his dad-he said he just needed his mommy!!! Love those moments!

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some relationships are worth saving. others are not. be honest with yourself. if you and he are believing Christians, there is always hope. God is a God of the impossible.

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Karen, I agree 100% with you. However, it takes TWO to want the marriage to work. Me and my husband split at the end of 2003, because he was cheating. He was having an 'in office' romance which was encouraged by his mother! We reconciled before Christmas that year. He showed up in church on a Wednesday night & begged for my forgiveness. I did. I felt God intervened and gave us a 'break through'. We went through marriage counseling with our pastors wife. We even renewed our vows on our anniversary in the church, witnessed by an entire congregation. LESS THAN A YEAR after our reconcilliation, after the renewing of vows, he did it AGAIN! Encouraged by his mother, AGAIN! After the second time, the trust was wiped away. Our marriage never recovered. My husband allowed his mother to rule and dominate him AND our marriage. He finally walked out in April of 2010.....to go live with his mom, and 'party it up'. He left me and our daughter in a foreclosed home. We had to vacate our home and I had no idea where we were going to live. It was ONLY by the grace of the almighty God, that we found a place. He's bounced from one woman to another during the last two years. The current girlfriend & him have split also because of his cheating. So a leopard never changes it's spots. Infidelity can be very detrimental to a marriage. It is very hard to recover. But I agree with you 100%.....every couple needs to seek God & counseling in the recovery. But sometimes that just doesn't work.....because when I married my husband, I married him for life.

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Cheryl, I'm so sorry that this has happened to your marriage. and you certainly have every right (and motive) to give up. that said, God would love to see this work out! :-) I have to stand by God's power being made stronger in our weakness. Your husband has strayed in so many ways! It's awful. Did you pastor counsel him on leaving his mother and cleaving to his wife? I know it seems impossible, but if you want it, just know that God wants it too and God can certainly change his spots. Does your church/pastor/you/your husband believe in the bible as the living, breathing, inerrant word of God? If so, you have an extremely strong foundation to build upon. I wish that you pastor himself could speak with your husband, (sometimes a man can listen to a man better) and offer him some sound and godly guidance and spiritual discipline. Know that i am praying with you for the changing of spots and reconciliation through the power of God's Holy Spirit. I am reading a book right now by Jay Adams, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible. In Christ, Karen (the regretful divorcee)

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What is wrong with these mothers that encourage that from their sons! I have an 8 year old son and I would never encourage cheating and lying to your family. You need to speak and be open to your family with something if you are not happy in a respectful calm manor in my opinion. Some people can be taken on by evil and it causes them to be weak.

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If he is not willing to work at the marriage and commit to it, then you need to move on and know that God will never leave you alone. He will carry you when you cannot take another step, you have to call on him though and he appears in mysterious ways.

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How I Got My Husband Back Testimony,Love spell that really works...My Names is sophie mia from London,UK. My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Anabi can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Anabi. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. Email him at: ultimatehightemple@gmail.com or ultimatehightemple@yahoo.com or call him on: +2348112180471..

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How I Got My Husband Back Testimony,Love spell that really works...My Names is sophie mia from London,UK. My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Anabi can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Anabi. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. Email him at: ultimatehightemple@gmail.com or ultimatehightemple@yahoo.com or call him on: +2348112180471..

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How I Got My Husband Back Testimony,Love spell that really works...My Names is sophie mia from London,UK. My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Anabi can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Anabi. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. Email him at: ultimatehightemple@gmail.com or ultimatehightemple@yahoo.com or call him on: +2348112180471..

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I've only had one cheating partner and I've always had the attitude I like myself a little too much to play second fiddle to anyone for any reason, so I didn't have a bit of difficulty telling him to hit the road. I've been raising our child with my second husband for the past 10 years and I'm certain what happened was meant to be. I'm actually thankful that he cheated on me else I would have never found my soul mate who does not cheat and I trust completely. The lord works in mysterious ways.

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AMEN!

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I've always told my husband that I'd cut off his penis if he cheated on me. He believes me.

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AND DO IT......god forbid if he ever does.

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I said the same thing and he hired numerous prostitutes during our 10 years! The threat didn't work, maybe I should have followed through with it!

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LOL. Its easier said than done

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Kara Miller - Laughed Out Loud - Its so painful you know.

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Then you'd be in jail and who would raise your child/dren.....reality check!!

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I did to, i find out that he did cheat on me. I should chopped it to peices.....

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I waited 5 years hoping that he would want me, but alas, he didn't. He says he's addicted to sex, but I think it's a crock. Ppl may disagree with me, but I really don't care. I'm the one who had to live through it. He ended up in a high profile job and arrested for solicitation so, of course, we were all over the news. I them moved 1000 miles away to get away from reporters. He ended up starting to date just a few weeks after I told him I was filing.

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Just heard something on a podcast that might speak to some of you. "Infidelity isn't the sex, but it's confiding in somebody else that's not your partner. Somebody else knows you better, that you trust the other person more with the truth about yourself than the person you're supposed to be closer to. And that's what rips the relationship apart." paraphrase

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I couldn't say it better myself! What wise words that sum up exactly what I wanted to say. I'm now re-building my relationship with my life and love in general with the help of my faith. What doesn't break you makes you stronger. You are always loved just as you are by those that matter most in your life which is very important when on the road to divorce recovery.

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My partner cheated on me 3 years ago, it took us time but I forgave him. I wont forget what happened but it has made us stronger. We now have a 3 month old son.

No one can tell you how you handle the situation, its something there is no right or wrong answer for.

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That's true every person handles her situation in her own way, if you forgive your partnes it doesn't mean that you are stupid!

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I turned to God. I am trying to follow his will. It hasn't been easy, but I know that He will see me through it.

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He does give us strength, but by the same token does not expect us to stay somewhere if we are being hurt and our children are being hurt aswell. Sometimes the strength that he gives us is to start fresh and new, and sometimes it's understanding that we are not perfect anyone of us and that "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" but if he brings home diseases that you catch and get very sick from.....I am just saying, yes God is all powerful but watch the way you interpret his help, watch for his signs.

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do what's best for the children. Often, that is moving on, separately.

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no its not

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I agree with you Carolynne. Always put your child(ren)'s needs first. My daughter has a great relationship with both her dad and I separately. If we had stayed together and been miserable that would have been so much worse for her.

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let him go, the sooner you realize he's not worthy of you the faster you can let go and open your heart to someone that is.

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I would pack his bags for him. He made the choice of what he would do, no one put a gun to his head. These things don't just just happen, if you are tempted,(as every one is at some time or another) you weigh your options and think things out, before making a decision.
At the end of the day, I have my kids to worry about and take care of. I first think of them, and base my decision on that, because at the end of the day I don't know what type of disease or worse, he could bring home to me.

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Hello my child how are you doing? Like i was saying on he phone i receive your details and I want you to know that the spell is a very powerful spell it is going to take two days to cast this spell and the third day of it you will see the result of my spell, Your husband is going to come back begging you to forgive him and forever love you as never before i have done a little consultation with my gods and these ancestral items are required to cast your spell. And i want you to know that i don't charge for my spell you are only required to pay for the items needed to cast the spell then after the spell have worked according to plan you can voluntary contribute to my temple is not a task that you must pay,but for the items which is going to be used for the casting of this spell must be bought by you.My spell last for a permanent nature, and this spell we are talking about must work for what is behind it is powerful.After casting the spell you will be told what to do. All this i will consult from my gods.and also the spell has no harm or effect,The following are the ancestral items needed for the spell. ITEMS NEEDED FOR THE CASTING OF YOUR SPELL (1) the heart of a cobra snake (2) the eye ball of a chameleon (3) the head of an owl (4) And water from the river of ozala (5) Two pot of calabash (6) 7red and 7black candles. (7) 1000cowries. (8) 3Aligator pepper. (9) 2 Ancient mat (10) A red Piece of clothes So you have to get back to me immediately so as to know how to get the ancestral items and proceed to cast the spell without no further delay so that the spell can be done for things to work out for you as you needed it. or you can also forward them to the ancestral market and make a purchase of them and give them my address so that they can deliver them to me here in my temple so that i can start on the spell without no further delay. Here is my home address/ ( WUSE KEBBI STREET GARAKI KTI 4DG NIGERIA) and here is the email address of the ancestral market. ancestral.ancient.market01@gmail.com. My Name is ANNA, From United state. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called DR OGUDU has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email (OGUDUSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM) then you won't believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell portion and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great DR OGUDU for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below: 1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.CALL HIS MOBILE LINE +2348106058254

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This is a testimony that I will tell to every one to hear. I have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until I met a post where this man DR OLOKUM have helped someone and I decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me I just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, I saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why I am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. His email:lavenderlovespell@yahoo.com

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After 8 years of marriage and raising a 4 year old daughter together, I learned my husband was a cheater. We separated but he begged me to try to work through it. We went to counseling together, but through all of the sessions it became apparent that he blamed me, her, everyone around him except himself. He didn't feel that I gave him enough love, attention, respect; once he said in front of the counselor that he "could kill her for what she did to him".
That was it, I recognized that this man had no sense of loyalty or personal responsibility and I would not be able to forgive someone who wasn't really asking for forgiveness - he felt his actions were justified. He was an emotionally stunted, selfish, 48-year old child.
I went through all of the painful emotions. Failure, humiliation, anger, disgust, self-loathing...but the worst was the betrayal. How could this person who I had been with for over twelve years, who I had committed to being my life partner, my lover, my best friend, how could he throw it away? How could he hurt our daughter and me like this?
I thought long and hard and finally made the decision to divorce him. I did not do this lightly but when I did, I consciously told myself that if I was going to terminate the bond of our marriage, then I had to let go of the anger. It was very liberating. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life miserable and full of hatred. Most of all, I didn't want my daughter to grow up with an angry mother, surrounded by the tension involved in most divorces that I feel is caused by the inability to forgive. At that point, I completely redefined the terms of our relationship, knowing that we are bound to be in each other's lives as long as the three members of our family are alive. When we divorced, he no longer owed me anything other than the respect and decency you would give to a stranger.
I forgave him and moved on. I learned how to love myself again, and then learned to love someone else and let myself be loved.
He is now with another woman and while I felt slightly hurt by his ability to share the things with someone else that he claimed to be unable to share with me, I reminded myself that even if it were me with him doing these things – traveling, camping, boating, listening to music, attending plays and events – we would not be happy together. We tried. Sometimes there is just too much pain to keep swallowing every day. The best that we can hope for is happiness for our entire family and for healing. Even our daughter, who is now 7, talks about how much happier we all are. While she misses all of us being together, we still share family hugs, dinners and we still truly care about each other...we always will.

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I really think that you make a key point here. If an unfaithful partner cannot accept personal responsibility for what they have done, the chances of working it out are nonexistent, I think. I will pull from a biblical principle here, but without real repentance there can be no forgiveness. And in that case, it is best to move on--something I am glad you were able to do. :)

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This story is probably the most honest story I have read. While cheating is absolutely unexcusable, it happens for reasons. I believe that once people are cheated on, they use the cheater as the ultimate reason for the split. This is not the truthe. Usually the cheating happens because nothing has been accomplished with the problems within the relationship. People don't cheat because the are happy and their relationships are great. If that were the case, why would they need to? There are so many different categories of cheaters also. After saying all this, I was the one who cheated in my marriage. It was after 3 years of trying to get through to my husband. Trying to get him into counseling, trying to get him to understand why I was so unhappy. Not being heard, not being taken seriously, being emotionally abused, being left in a one sided marriage once we had children. We could go on day to day ignoring our problems and actually being great friends; because we were ignoring our problems. There was one day when an incident happened and I deemed our marriage OVER! I had had enough - told him I lost all respect for him and just couldn't keep going. I asked him to move out, let us take some time, try to remember what we were there for; why we were together. He just flat out said no! He doesn't take responsibility for anything he does. Ever! Also, always has to place blame elsewhere! Well, in the meantime, someone listened, cared, knew what was going on... I caved. The worst mistake I made. Cheating is the WORST feeling - I couldn't look myself in the mirror for a VERY VERY long time. I was completely in love with my husband but why if I wasn't getting it back? We are now divorced, I still have a hard time dealing with the fact that I "tore" our family apart but in the end, my ex and I were not compatible as a couple. Not with children anyway. He still lives his carefree life, doing whatever he wants, spending whatever he wants but instead its not on my time, my dime or at my feelings expense. He spends more time with his children now and I am not walking on eggshells everyday. He still says the reason we are divorced is because I cheated. While that is a great reason for him to get people to overlook the real reasons, it did get me to finally be able to "get out" of the relationship I would have otherwise most likely stayed in unhappy! I hate knowing this is what I did but there are also other issues I have. I am realizing that I made myself look like the bad guy to have a reason to end the relationship I otherwise probably would not have ended. It is stupid and cowardly. I didn't have the courage otherwise. All it did was hurt him, me and my dignity. I will forever be indebted to my own self and hate that part of what I had done.

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After 14 years of marriage, my husband cheated on me. I found out when the woman he was cheating with called our home number looking for him. He had lied to her, telling her he was not married. I confronted him and he admitted to the affair and answered all the questions I had. After a lot of soul searching on my part, I chose to forgive him, but told him if it ever happened again we were finished. I also told him he could not have any contact with her. This was over 10 years ago

Learning to trust again has been the hardest - you question everything. You also blame yourself for what happend. It was really hard to let the negativity go, but hanging on to the anger and distrust makes it impossible to move forward, which is what you need to do with or without him.

He immediately broke it off with her when I found out, but she continued to pursue him, even after finding out he had lied to her. He saw her driving by our son's school when he was picking him up and also saw her driving by our house. She even showed up to an event that she knew he would be at. She continues to call and text him, sometimes going for a couple years and then all of sudden she will call and leave some weird message. She has even called my phone a couple times and "pretended" to be trying to call him.

I know he regrets what he did and her ongoing attempts to communicate with him is a continual reminder of his mistake. I think in many cases an affair is a symptom of problems in the relationship which can be worked out if both parties want the same thing. But, I also think there are some people who are just cheats and cannot be trusted no matter who they are with. We have certainly had our share of ups and downs, but recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.

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Well, I've done it both ways. 12yrs. ago I was a mother of our 3yr. old and 9mos. pregnant with our second child when I found out he was cheating. I was devastated to say the least. I was so hungry to know the truth. I asked for complete honesty and that had he come clean. He lied to my face and the next day I flew home to my parents house states away. I had our second child alone, named him and raised him a year by myself. I really tried to make my spouse "get it" and understand the devastation that he caused because of his lying and cheating. I kept thinking, "If only he saw this...then he'd really get it, or if only he felt this, that would really make him never want to do this again!" After a year, he moved to the same state I was in. We ended up getting back together much to my families dismay because they didn't feel that he had truly changed. The first few years were really rough and I hated him, really despised him, but then we got into the groove of life and were doing well. We decided to have another baby together and I felt he had done a good job of earning my trust back. Almost exactly 10yrs. from the first time, I caught him again cheating. At this point I had three children, was in over my head with the financial issues of a big house, big mortgage etc. I remember talking to a friend who told me, "this marriage will end in divorce...do you want it to end at 33yrs. old, 43yrs. old or 93yrs. old? That really hit home and for the first time I accepted that there was nothing I could do to change his character and that it was his problem to own and deal with. I also realized I had spent countless years unknowingly trying to please a man who was always looking for faults with me to make excuses for his bad behavior. I made the choice to leave, gave him our family business, and pursued my art career. Now, almost 2 1/2yrs. later I am stronger, smarter, happier and more fulfilled then I ever have been. It's been a really difficult road, but I know in my heart, that I gave that marriage everything I possibly could and that I'm ok with it ending. I am who I am because of what I've endured. I think the most important factor when dealing with a cheating spouse is if they truly repent then their lives will really be different. They won't blame, or deny anything but instead own what they did, be forever humbled and sorry to the one they should love the most and do whatever it takes, for however long, to make their spouse feel as secure and respected as possible. Also, if you have a good family who loves you....listen to them! Often they see things in the person that we can't because we so badly want to believe that they changed. I learned the hard way, but at least I learned!

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Well I have to agree every situation is different...I to had the attitude that if my husband ever cheated I would divorce him and leave him with nothing...until it happened. Granted he was honest about the events leading up to it and I just took it for granted that he would NEVER cheat on me. We were arguing all the time, stressed over bills, and a lady at work would compliment him all the time and then they started talking more and more and then came a friend of his birthday and he didn't come home. I knew then I couldn't live like that so I asked him to move out, which he did and we would talk now and then (cause then we didn't have cell phone) he would come pick up our 3 year old up every other weekend. It was so hard and of course I would go out with friends and do things (no I was not looking for some one else) and some events happened with some one stalking me but I never told him anything (cause I didn't need a hero I needed a husband)..well we had decided to maybe talk more and try to work on things and one day I wasn't home yet and he seen the guy put some flowers and stuff on the porch and left. Boy did I get 50 questions and I answered everything very honest cause I had nothing to hide..after a few months we were able to move back in together You have to be able to forgive...no you will never forget but you have to leave the past in the past and move on. Honesty is the best policy no matter how bad it hurts. I personally can get over some one being honest then them lye to me..We have our ups and downs but every relationship does..

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I am so happy for you, and every woman should have your attitude...the man was honest about what took place etc. And you guys did separate - and went through tough times and in the end your love won it all! No you will never forget, but at the end of the day he loved you the most to want to try and then you and your man got back together...wow, it's never easy - but it's great when it does work out! There are once 'off's' and 'serial womanizers'...your man was a 'once off'' situation! That is the difference about these things...

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I have been though this along with many other things with my ex and it was an easy fix. My ex was a deny till ya die kind of guy. I had a guy find me on face book that told me about the "DL" group my ex was in, and of course he was involved in other awful things, so I had a choice. Stay and keep tiring to fix him, and accept I could not control nor fix him therefore really accepting that he would most likely not stop. OR I could leave, have a hard time starting over, but look into having a fresh start with a new healthy person, and give my child the chance at having a peaceful child hood. Bottom line for me is I grew up in that mess and it was SO much worse growing up in all that chaos. As kids we would ask my mom to leave her husband. I hated it and I would never want my child to go though that. Looking back I would change nothing I did. I left, and now I'm remarried to a handsome, loving, devoted man, who is an amazing father to both my kids.

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2 43

It's simple...leave him

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0 0

I'm 27 years old and three weeks ago i found out that i am bf was cheating and has even impregnated the other girl. I no choice but to let go, but i met a spell lady priestessifaa@yahoo.com who did a spell to make the other lady got miscarriage and brought my lover to me crawling with his knees for forgiveness,. i just know and feel in my heart that I'm doing the right decision 4 me and my lover are getting married soon.....

0 0

A family that prays together stays together. We need to fear God more than anything else.
Knowing what the right thing to do is and sticking with it. ( I know the world has it backwards sometime thinking what is right is wrong and what is wrong is right). But we need to go to the word.
The word says that we would live with the wife of our youth and being commited to that person.
Love her as yourself. Be kindly affectionate to one another. Go out of your way for each other.
Treat the person the way you would want to be treated.
Self control is a fruit of the spirit. Be self controled. Being faithful to the person you have chosen to
spend the rest of your life with. There is so much more I could say. The best thing you could do
is get some godly council and the word of God. My prayer is that you will both change your ways and let the Lord change your hearts. If you are open to Him, He can do all things beautifully.
God Bless

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Sadly myself and my children were the only ones who had faith and embraced our Christianity. My ex is sadly emotionally underdeveloped and fears faith in any form to the point where he would never attend church with us and found references to faith uncomfortable. Which is probably why he had the affairs in the first place. Young people should be shown how to communicate their feelings to one another because that is a skill my ex sadly is still lacking. I now simply pity the poor blinded fool and pray that he eventually finds a way to seek forgiveness for what he has and still puts us through. Good luck to the poor sap who took him from us. May she soon discover that what goes around comes around to those who take liberties with the lives of others.

0 0

If he cheats or hits, he's gone. End of story.

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It depends. It depends on how worth the relationship is salvaging...it depends on what misdeeds you yourself have done, it depends on how long you have been married...it all depends. With people living to be 100+ years old, to think of being with one person for 50-80 years is a daunting process. People are not monogamous creatures. We all make mistakes and we all falter. It is how we respond to those mistakes and how we make each other feel that matters most.

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Try getting the information on your 25th anniversary.I was floored and had no idea that we had a problem.We just now are heading for our 31st anniversary,but it is not the same and know that it never will be.Life goes on!

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The thing is, for me at least, that I won't be able to forgive and forget what he did to me. I will always distrust him and will always remember the betrayal when we argue. I will turn his life a living hell if I decide to stay with him, and I will turn my life a living hell on the way. So I think, the best thing for ME to do, is to leave him for good the first time he cheats, and give me the oportunity to be happy. Then again, this is what fits me, according to MY personality. Not everybody is as unforgivefull and vindictive as me.

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Neither a man or woman can ever "forget" the hurt that cheating creates. I'm not saying you can't forgive......BUT........the knowledge will always be there in the back of your mind. It's hard to restore Trust !!!

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0 2

Well a little over 2 months ago I found out my husband was seeing another woman. Yes I knew who she was but we both had only known her for about 2 months prior to this happening. Yes our marrage wasn't perfect and we were in a rutt but I never thought this would happen. We were together since I was 14 he was 15. We were together almost 22 years. We were married 13 years and he was my first. It was so hard to move on and still is since we share 2 kids and I have to see him and talk to him all the time. Still have a lot of things to settle including filing for divorce but the kids and I moved out almost immediately. I too wasn't going to take being 2nd best. He claims he is going through a midlife crisis. I may not look like I did back when we starting dating at 14 obviously but I was his life partner or so I thought. He left me for someone that is from another country and is "a toothpick". He's so obsessed with her he's even trying to learn her language. That just makes me sick!!! Everyone says it will take time and things will get better but how do I ever trust another man again? I can't wait for the day she moves on as she's done before. She's only 30 and she's broken up 2 marrages before she broke up mine and she's already married and divorced herself. She had a fiance over in Jordan and talked to him over the inteternet and is probably still talking to him and working my husband at the same time. Well I will not be there to catch him when he falls hard because of what he did to me. It hurts so much but I must move on for the sake of my 2 kids which are 11 and 4.

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I was in a cheating marriage for 6 years before I finally got out of it. My husband actually went as far as to sleep with my best friend and get her pregnant (then hid it from me for months while she moved into my house and I threw her a baby shower) so.. I know better than most about wanting to keep a marriage alive (even through bad times). I put up with a lot more than any women should have to endure. Also, I consider myself a follower of Christ, but enough is enough. The bible says: “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:8-9 ESV) So.. even God says that adultery is a means for divorce. If God says that adultery isn't enough to stay for.. then why should you? I understand that you love him, I've been there. But at some point you have to come to the realization that if he cheats.. he can't be trusted. Without trust is no love.

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Andrea- I have been dealing with this same exact issue. I too am a follower of Christ and have struggled greatly with making the right choices. I was pregnant with twins when I found out. I continued to stay for three more years. Each time he said that he is committed to me/us/the kids, but he continually lies and sees "her." I have to agree with your statement about "If God says adultery is means for divorce, why shouldn't I???"

1 0

My husband and I were Ministers in our church for 7 years. That didnt stop him. and your right, God does see infidelity a divorcable offense in a marriage. In fact he even includes emotional affairs.

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i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband, i love him so much we have been married for 6 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Marian, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my a friend of my and i told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem like this before and she introduce me to a man called Dr.swami from indian who cast a strong spell to bring him back to her after 3days. then my friend ask me to contact Dr. swami. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that he is going to bring him back to me within 3days. He also told me by three days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr.swami on any problem in this world,if you need any restore in your relationship contact Dr. swamitemple@yahoo.com He is the best spell caster i have ever seen.

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0 28

cut off his private parts

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22 0

Marriages are not perfect. Sometimes partners are not getting everything they need from their marraige. Sometimes thay need to get elsewhere what is lacking in their marraige. We all need to accept that. This is the 21st century. We need to crawl out of the dark ages.

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0 0

Here it is Girls!!! Don't think if you move on to what you think are greener pastures that after time that one won't do it too!! They all will , especially if some sexy female makes it easy for them.
Now, there are a few out there that are so undesirable that they won't cheat because nobody wants them! Hold on to the one that makes you happy and just maybe you won't catch him. What you don't know won't hurt you! Life is not fair !

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377 19

There have been a lot of good points made here, and I just wanted to point out a few of them and share my thoughts. This is a long post--sorry!

My fiancé and I had been together three years when one day I logged onto MySpace and another woman was calling him 'baby' on his page--and he had left a comment to her, "Happy birthday, baby," on hers. When I questioned her about it, she promptly changed her default picture to one of them kissing. I really wished he would have just personally ripped my heart out, as I think it would have hurt less.

At that point, we had been apart for nearly two years while he was on an unaccompanied tour of duty in Germany, and he had just returned from a tour in Afghanistan. We did not know it then, but later he would be diagnosed with PTSD--post traumatic stress disorder. He was completely isolated from anyone but the guys in his unit and especially those that lived with him in the barracks. All of whom were young and single.

Over time, this blossomed into a perfect storm of over-the-top drinking. He was depressed and withdrawn from me--and as I struggled at home to try to keep up a happy face and keep him from worrying about how I was coping, I actually pushed him away. The closeness that was so unique to our relationship withered and died.

I cannot tell anyone else what is best in a relationship, but I can tell you why I chose to stay and how we are working around it--because even now, two years later, we still are and will be for the foreseeable future.

My first thought was purely selfish. If I broke off our engagement, he could just go jump right into bed with her again and I would be the only one hurting. Of course, that thought was terribly stupid and I quickly debunked it to myself. At least if I left, no one would blame me and I would have my pride.

Then I thought about our children. While we had no biological children together, he was the only father my then three year old son had ever known, and I desperately loved his daughters. I simply could not imagine never seeing them again, and as they lived in a different state, I never would.

Now, chronologically speaking, at this point my fiancé was in the field and beyond all contact. His phone could receive messages, but he did not have minutes to call out (part of the problem with out of control drinking was never having money to buy things like phone cards). So he was receiving my absolutely irate text messages, but we had not had a chance to talk. Boy, if you could read what he was!!

Anyway, it was two days before I sent him a text--I believe the exact words were, "Oh h*ll no. If you can talk to your German wh$;e, you can talk to me," as she had just messaged me saying he had told her I was nobody and meant nothing to him. I almost did not do it, but at the last moment, I signed into Skype, because I did not think he had minutes to call. Sure enough, a few minutes later, "Baby, are you there?" After a few minutes of snide remarks from me, he video called and I answered.

The first thing that I showed him was my ring on my right hand, instead of the left, and he lost and totally broke down. He said,"I love you. I am so sorry. How can I get you back?"

It would take forever to tell you everything we talked about, so I won't. But here are some of the things that I have learned from the experience.

If an unfaithful partner will not take responsibility for their actions--if they blame anyone BUT themselves--they will not learn from the experience and they will cheat again. Thankfully, he took accountability up front by saying, "This is all my fault." Because, yes, it was all his fault.

If an unfaithful partner is not willing to work with you, if their entire focus is not on fixing things with you, don't bother. When I said no more drinking and no more going out with the guys in the weekend, if he had quibbled, it would have been a no go. It was definitely my way or the highway.

Be prepared to stand up for your conditions. If you set a condition and back down, not only does it tell your partner that it is okay not to change the behaviors that created the situation, it also makes it look like you aren't personally committed to fixing it. Much like with our children, constincy helps create security and stability.

Don't blame yourself, but look at what happened to cause a rift in your relationship. For us, we both withdrew because we did not want to burden each other. That was stupid. What is your partner for if not to share your burdens? That is one thing we have vowed never to do again.

If you choose to stay with your unfaithful partner, you will be judged mercilessly by people who will consider you weak-willed or submissive. I am neither of those things, personally, but have dealt with being looked at as both. Be ready for it.

If you decide to stay, be committed to the long haul. While the pain has eased over time, it is still there for me, and I do not know that it will ever go away completely.

I said this in another thread too, but cheating is either a mistake or it is a lifestyle. It is up to you to determine what the circumstances are in your relationship and whether it is worth saving.

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1 0

In all honesty.It
My husband was unfaithfull 18 months into our marriage. I was so confused and really wanted to hear "It will never happen again"
Well he said that. and he said it four more times over the next 15 years. Eventually I left him.
two major points I feel sad about,
1. My children will never understand how that affected meover our marriage
2. I wasted 20 years being married to a cheat and lier, when I could have made room for someone who would appreciate me. I thought at the time, that I should try harder to be more, do more, perform more and he wouldn't want to.

Its rare that your SO wont do this over again, if you stay with them. If I had my time over, I would have made an ultimatum that he undergo therapy after the first time.

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0 0

I am Roselie,i am 42 years old,i have been married for the past 7years,so i noticed some strange behaviour about my husband,he disrespects me,does not trust me any more so i found out that he is in a relationship with another girl,his colleague at work..since then he became so aggressive and the love he has for me has gone so i was just a bug to him and he was looking for all means to send me out of the house..so one day after we had a dispute about this he said he is getting married to her and doesn't want me any more. i was shocked and i felt depressed..so a friend told me to try prophet Ibrahim that he has solved similar issue to her friend by spell casting contacted him at his email prophetibrahimm@gmail.com and i told him about my problem and he promised me that every thing will be alright and he prayed,2 days later my husband came back at noon which was not his usual close time and called me and he was in tears apologising for what he has done that he will never do it again..i was overwhelmed and welcomed him and he has loved me more than ever.at first i never believe in any spiritual means until i gave it a trial.all thanks to prophet Ibrahim..i decided i should not keep this to my self because there are several women out there that suffering the same...i want to let you know this, some marriages today are manipulated by evil spirit and you need a strong man to help you go against them..you can contact prophet at prophetibrahimm@gmail.com and just believe because he can attend to any kind of your problem..good luck.

0 0

It is Dr.EBHOSE you can email him if you need assistance in your relationship ebhodaghespell@gmail.com I promise you your problems are solved immediately. After being in relationship with him for seven years, he left me, I did everything can I bring him back behind, but all in vain. He wanted to for the love I feel for him, begged, but he refused until explained my problem to someone online and she suggested I should rather mail a spellcaster that could help me a spell to bring him back, but I'm the guy who never believed in spells, I had no choice but to Try it, sent the caster, I said no problem everything will be fine within three days, my ex come back to me within three days, the spell was cast and, surprisingly, on the second day, it was around 4:00 pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, he answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, he wanted to get back to me, which I love so much. I was so happy and surprised. Since then, I have made a promise that everyone I know will never have a relationship problem, which I will refer to the spell launcher to help. Anyone may need the help of the caster, his email ebhodaghespell@gmail.com He also made many spell-like, (1) want your ex back. (2) You always have nightmares. (3) To be promoted in his office (4) Would you like a child. (5) Want to be rich. (6) want to keep your husband / wife to be only yours forever. (7) the need for financial assistance. 8) Do you want to be in control of that marriage 9) Do you want to be attracted to people 10) Childlessness 11) DO YOU NEED A HUSBAND / WIFE 13) How To Win Your LOTTERY 14) SPELL OF PROMOTION 15) PROTECTION SPELL 16) SPELL OF BUSINESS 17) SPELL WORK WELL 18) cure for any disease / H.I.V. Contact him today at: ebhodaghespell@gmail.com or contact him on +2348032230074

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1 17

The situation is not fun at all. I have been on both sides of the coin. And I have learned that if you are not ok with yourself when you are single then chances are you won't be when you are with someone. The key is communication and not being selfish and know that it is give and take. Also knowing what love really is.

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Without this spell, my husband would have probably divorced me by now. alaye spell made him leave this woman who had such a bad influence on him, and now our issues seem to be resolved one by one. The process is slow but I'm being patient... I will probably come to your temple soon to appreciate you and your gods for making my marriage a successful one. Thanks to alayetemple@yahoomail.com for being here for me.

3 42

believe that maybe u need to leave in order to find out what u want. if it is ur significant other than u need to show him or her the door. Maybe they will realize what they had n maybe they wont. If they come back n u decide to take them back then u start fresh n emphasize that that kind of behavior wont be tolerated.

1
4 0

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12 0

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