Is it okay to serve alcohol to the adults at a kid's birthday party?

At a baby's birthday party there are often more adults than kids. It is okay for adults to have alcohol at a children's birthday party? Why or why not?

40  Answers

0 10

I understand your points. BUT To me, giving out alcohol at a childs party, then putting those same parents behind the wheel of a car, Impaired, with their children in the vehicle, is just irresponsible. Would you like a friend to yake your child to a party, drink, then hop in the car to drive your child home? Let kid parties be for kids. Have adult partied for your friends. Kids are the most vulnerable beings on earth. If you do plan to serve drinks....How about a sleep over for the kids too? That way no one is taking their kids out on the roads with even one drink under their belt!

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0 10

I cannot believe people would get behind the wheel of their car, children in tow, after having even ONE drink at a party. Get a designated driver, get a babysitter, or DON"T DRINK. Be the responsible one. If we go to a party and want to have a drink....I ALWAYS do one of those three things. Your kids are not worth losing over one drink. I grew up in a family where the adults drank and NEVER drove. We never had to be worried about our safety. They would never put us in danger. I think THAT is teaching responsible drinking to kids..... Having a couple and driving them home is NOT!

0 2

Gurl, you obviously don't know that you can have ONE drink and drive a car after spending time at a bday party, unless you weight 25 pounds, then you may want to wait 5 or 6 hours before you get into your hoop-de.

0 10

Of Course I know they claim it is safe to drive after one...but I say why risk it? I was not born yesterday. I know all about burn rates for alcohol consumption. One Glass of wine or beer per hour and all that jazz....but I still would NEVER risk it with my kids! (or anyone elses for that matter)

13 11

I can't drive after one drink either; kids or no kids. But that is just one of my fears. If we go to a party and my husband has a beer, I no not and vice versa. As far as having alcohol at a party where children are around; it depends on the type of party. I NEVER allow beer or any alcohol at my kids birthday parties. We do have an annual Christmas party though, and there is usually alcohol at it.

13,264 21

Ok, but Lori, you are assuming that those same people that are at a child's party and drinking would NEVER drive after consuming alcohol when they have their kids with them? If a person is driving after drinking, it's because they always do it, because they don't want to have a dd. And, for those people, putting their kids in the car doesn't make one bit of difference.

56 1

only they don't all have to drive home, many adult participants may be a passenger in the car

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5 8

Well, my take on this wd be YES as long as its just a couple of drinks..nothing overboard...why? 2 reasons, that adults feel welcome too and get a chance to mingle...and children would know that adults drink RESPONSIBLY...so when they do know what is right as they grow up ..Drinking too much is abusive to health and they need to know that from parents like us whom they hero- worship when they are babies...We could promote healthier talks and openness between kids and parents this way..Only when things are taboo do they create a sense of curiosity in youngsters...anyway they are aware that we drink...so why not do it responsibly in front of them....? so am i making a ny sense here?

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29 10

i agree with Sapna...i just had my daughters 4th birthday party in the yard, and the adults came too...they had alcohol. Most of the time, the kids were together, and the adults were together, so the adults had "their" time....no one goes over board, but they enjoy socializing with other adults. I don't think kids, especially at that age, even REALIZE what the adults are drinking, let alone know what alcohol is (again, depends on the age group). And as far as someone putting down a drink, parents are usually pretty responsible watching out for their kid. It would be the same thing as if it were a regular BBQ at someone's house...everyone we know has kids, we get together for BBQ's, and there is alcohol...can u imagine a summer bbq with lots of people and NO ALCOHOL???? Chances of that kind of get together where adults don't drink (at all) are very slim...

5 8

Thanks ,Carole...I am real glad there are like minded / open minded pple..thumbs up !!!

4 20

I think its absolutely fine serving alcohol such as beer and wine at a childs party. Not everyone you may invite has children, we have alot of close friends who are single also and who are like aunts and uncles to my kids, they want to be involved in there birthday celebrations.Most of our family live overseas so our close friends here are like our family. Enjoy the celebrations and plan the party how YOU want!!!!

0 13

If alcohol is the only way "friends" would go to your child's party then maybe you don't need that "friend" around you or your child. I still think a kids party should be alcohol free.

0 6

To drink alcohol in front of your kids, drive and not get into an accident or pulled over is NOT teaching them how to drink responsibly. It's teaching them that it's okay to drink and drive. Period. Just because you get away with it unscathed doesn't mean you're making responsible choices. It just means you've gotten luck and the children aren't getting a realistic understanding of it. They are just seeing that mommy and daddy do it so I can too. So stupid of you both to think this is appropriate.

0 0

I disagree with you. Kids don't need to be around this type of behavior. Adults need to sit down sometimes and realize it's not always about them. Kids at the party don't know how many drinks mom or dad had.( showing a kid your reasonable) just don't do it lead by example

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0 15

Seriously?? You can't go a couple hours without a drink?? It's a kids party for goodness sakes....just wait till it's done! It's not about whose drinking responsibily...there shouldn't be alcohol at a kids party at all.

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24 19

100% Agree if you want to have a drink on your birthday fair enough bit not at a kids one.

36 5

couple of hours? I think my younger daughters 1st birthday party lasted 8, it was at least 1am when the last guests left. 1st birthdays are about the parents thanking their friends for all the help they had in the first year, at least thats how we looked at it. No party games, no unaccompanied kids just fun. Come 3rd birthday, thats when parties got serious, entertaining 12 toddlers, plus their parents, with not a glass of wine in sight.

44 57

annabel sound like you were looking for Ritalin and restraints; not a buzz from alcohol which would make you even less reactive and responsive to the small children in need of supervision , and you can tell people the party starts at xx:xx and ends at xx:yy. That sounds like using a child's party as a cover for your own, as i don't imagine many toddlers were up the whole time and until 1 am? .

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0 10

I say no, not for a child's birthday party. There's no reason for it - everyone is there for that child. If you can't mingle without alcohol, then you need help. After the party is a different story. Family gatherings that are not child-focused, again, different story. My mom and grandparents always had a drink when we had family get togethers or bbqs or other general party things - but when it came to birthday parties for my cousin and I, no drinks. The focus should be on the child and activities for the child.

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1 11

Couldn't have said it better myself. Great answer.

59 22

I to agree...NO alcohol at a child birthday. I think I almost fell over when my husband started giving out drinks at our childs 1st birthday. She was the first grandchild. He saw nothing wrong with it but my family was horrified. This party is for the child and if you can't come to a party without having a drink then I think there is a problem.We never had alcohol at any childs birthday. Christmas or Easter! There is a time and a place for alcohol and a childs party is NOT the place. My view is that this party is child centered- their favourite food and cakes etc...I am not trying to please my guest at this aprty it is for my child. If you don;t like my rules at my home then don't come. I too have not ever accepted a drink at any religious occasion or at any childs birthday or any other child focused event.

5 2

I am pretty sure Christmas and Easter ARE religious occasions LOL and are you saying your husband has a drinking problem, because when you say he was passing out drinks then say "This party is for the child and if you can't come to a party without having a drink then I think there is a problem" That is what that sounds like. I don't think it's about not being able to go a few hours with out drinking, it's about whether or not to serve drinks or allow alcohol at a child's party. reasonable question since the word "party" does come up. If the question had been "Do you think it's ok to serve alcohol at Parent/Teacher night or Bible Group" I could understand this response. My son(the first grandson and great grandson) is 2 with a 3rd bday around the corner. We allowed a BYOB situation for both previous parties and will do the same for the next one. No one got 'wasted' and EVERYONE had a good time. Parents and kids. We all played responsibly and I have absolutely no problem with it :)

1 14

I don't think I've been to ANY child's party without alcohol!!! And we go to many at various times of the day. This isn't just a reflection of our friends but also from people met through Mothers Group and Child Care. I just think we are all so precious now if we can't have ONE drink!!! Maybe I'm on the wrong forum here!!!

8 37

I totally agree with Ashley!!

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0 0

I think It really depends on what kind of party you are having.

I would say yes if it is an intimate gathering of family/friends for a birthday dinner/BBQ with people you know. I would say no if you are having a party with school friends and parents you don't know.

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17 21

that is exactly what i was thinking, no one was asking if you are allowed to drink and drive...if it is a gathering between friends kids and grown ups you know, why not...everyone is allowed to have fun, it is not about "you can't be without alcohol for a couple of hours" I managed pregnancy and nursing time without, gooosh, I like to have a glass of wine, and why not have it on a party!??! having a glass of wine or beer does not mean you get totally drunk and are not able to watch your child anymore, actually i never did wince my child is born (or i got pregnant and a long time before), it is always stupid to get totally wasted, however I do not drink when I am together with colleagues or parents (e.g. kindergarten) that i do not know

2 0

I really don't see any reason for it. When I'm planning my son's parties all the money, time and energy for the party is focused on making it fun for him and his friends. I also wouldn't serve food that he didn't like, or play games that he couldn't play.

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1 5

I agree with you Misty, It is a special day for your child and the focus should be on the children. A friend of mine recently asked her daughter if she minded the adults having drinks at her birthday party and the answer was a resounding NO. I found that interesting.

0 13

Agreed. Kids party (Keyword) Kids!!!

44 57

YES YES THANK U IF U CANT WAIT HOST AN AA MEETING NOT A CHILDRENS PARTY

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6 1

Really? I have been raising kids for 18 years now and it has never crossed my mind to have a drink at a birthday party. I see parents drinking at Chuck E Cheese and I can't help but wonder what kind of parents they are that they can't get through a noisy crazy afternoon without a drink. You don't need alcohol to be able to mingle with other guests, this isn't a club! Guests who are single and don't have children can and have a good time without drinking. As far as kids not noticing, yes they do! When kids grow up thinking that its normal to see adults come from work and have a drink thats what they will do. When kids hear their parents say " Oh I could use a drink, I have had such a hard week" they grow up thinking alcohol is a way to relieve stress. When kids see that the adults drink at social gatherings, they learn that they need alcohol at their social functions. So, why are we surprised when our teens drink? If you believe that reading to your toddler, taking them to church, not swearing, or censoring what they see on television and the internet are all examples you need to set for them, why would drinking in front of them be any different? To parents of young children, it might seem like you have forever to teach and inspire your kids to greatness, but this time goes by so fast! Put the money you would have spent on alcohol in a retirement or college fund and enjoy your kids party for what it is, a kid party.

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3 28

What a GREAT comment!! So glad to see someone who sees a childrens party for what it is - a CHILDRENS party :)

3 20

I soooo agree, great post. I to think we lead by example and what kind of example do we want to set for our kids? I don't swear and when someone else does it hurts my ears let alone having my child hear it. I feel if they do not learn things at home then they will learn it from somewhere else and I much rather have them know our values, morals, and whats important, Mainly them. I recently went to my nieces birthday party at a bowling rink, and her dad was drunk. My sister was mortified and my poor niece was so embarassed. You think they don't know, realize, or understand? They do!!!! She was turning 5. The center is supposed be on them, noone or nothing else!!!

0 30

Andrea, your comment rings so much truth. I'm a young mother of two and alcoholism runs on all sides of the family, so does a lack of interest in school, etc. I feel that if encouraging children to take interest and exposing them to those good things allows them to flourish for the better, then exposing them to things like drinking at nonappropiate times (like their birthday when the focus should be on them) will make an impression as well. Some people say its sheltering them, but I think there's a time and place for everything and drinking at a kids party is slightly selfish.

512 54

Lol, they don't NEED the beer @ Chuckie Cheese. They WANT the beer. Just like the kid WANTS the candy, but he doesn't NEED it. It is a party! Your child can have ONE piece of cake. Why can't the parent can have ONE beer?! No big deal. It's not against the law? I personally don't do it, but I certainly see nothing wrong with it.

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0 0

no it's a childs party and it sends the wrong message . children remember these things and tend to repeat them when they grow up. also what if a child picked up an unfinished drink that someone has put down for just a few seconds let alone a few minutes then what

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0 9

That is a good point. This has happened at a family get together once we attended. However, some people feel drinking is an adult priviledge and we can't do everything "kid friendly". After all, we are adults and deserve to have adult drinks on occasion as long as it's not excessive. I respect those who do not drink, though. It's a personal choice, I feel.

0 9

No it is not. its not about the adults its about the child that is having the party

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8 1

No I dont think it's ok because its a childs party it should be centers on the kids entertainment not the parents. I just had my sons birthday party and by keeping an activity itinerary with activities that the parents had to help their kids with I made sure that both kids and parents were engaged throughout the party. I don't think drinking at a childs party is appropriate for the situation, there is a time and a place for drinking and a childs birthday party is not that place. if you want to drink have an adult party.

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1 0

Good Idea Precious Dragon Good Idea

0 9

Absolutely ok! How can children learn to be cool and responsible about alcohol if u don't teach them by good example? alcohol gets way too much attention that makes it so interesting for the kids. So what if u have a beer at a party? I don't see the big deal.

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1 1

A child's party is not where you reinforce YOUR drinking habits... I guess you've never heard of kids sneaking drinks at these types of parties huh? I know you'd like to think your kids are trustworthy but all kids sneak to do something... I just hope it doesn't cost a child his life from alcohol poisoning... Not to mention the Dept. of Children Services will take your kids away if any child is accidentally harmed during these "harmless" Keg Kids parties. I guess you didn't hear in the new of the recent death of a child because the thought drinking alcohol was cool... Read Up & empower yourself for your family... or your life too can be an accident waiting to happen.

0 7

She didnt say anything about a Keg. Just because a few adults have a beer or two does not mean that children r going to get in to the alcohol. If you are trying to teach your kids to be responsible with it and all the adults are being responsible, then there will b no chance of the kids going near the alcohol. Im not saying whether im for it or against it but if some of you are going to make arguments then make them logical ones.

4 17

oh geeze. it's not your job to teach your kids to be 'cool'! it's your job to set a good example by being able to go a few hours without a drink. you do have to drive home after that party with your kids in tow. what if you get into an accident on the way home afterwards? even if the accident is not your fault you could get into serious trouble that would follow you forever just because you couldn't make it through a kid's party without a beer. if you want to show your kids some responsibility about drinking...show them that you don't drink in the presence of children.

512 54

Does everyone think because a parent has a drink at a party they must be jonesing? It's a party! Sometimes it's the only time a parent can finally sit down, and watch there child finally be entertained by someone else! If it was irresponsible, it would not be offered at the place you are throwing the party at. If you think its inappropriate, don't throw your party where it's an option.

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17 3

I don't think there is anything wrong with it as long as you dont invite your friends that get load and crazy..lol.. i remember the grown ups drinkin beer when i was young..also it is about family comming together to celebrate.. its fine..just no drunks..i think some people are to uptight about this

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4 23

I agree here. A few beers and some wine never hurt anyone. And the grown ups who come by themselves and who have to drive the kids home always decline and those that come as couples can agree one can have it and the other one doesn't. If you make a big deal out of it then the kids will notice if not then they don't even care.

6 26

I agree...uptight and just a bit judgmental. Adults who model responsible behavior to children are not "incapable of going a couple hours without alcohol" and really?? Sanctimoniously judging parents who have a beer a Chuckie Cheese?? AND...offering a drink to parents neither takes away ANY attention from the birthday child nor does it make the party all about the adults. Come on. That kind of thinking is what leads to all those terrible women you see on Bridezillas, who are completely incapable of thinking of anyone else but themselves on their big day.

0 7

LOVE IT!

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6 0

I don't drink so i wouldn't want it at my house more less around my kids. So i would have to say no. its a kids party.

15
858 17

I would say yes it's okay. We've had beer at our childrens birthday parties. Noone goes overboard. Just has 2-3 and that's it. If there's something going on afterwards that involves the adults off to nanny's the kids go! At Christmas we always have a couple drinks with the family. I personally dont see a problem with it but that's the way i grew up

13
0 19

I don't see a problem with it as long as the adults are responsible about it.

12
0 17

No way! Why would you want that possibility of a parent drinking and driving with a little one in the car. I know you can't control there actions but think if th kid got hurt because u chose to have alcohol at a party. Would you be able to live with that? Just a thought not trying to put anyone down

12
0 0

No its not in my opinion.. after all , it is a KID'S BIRTHDAY PARTY , sure some adults can be responsible and would like to have a few drinks, but it IS NOT THEIR Birthday Party, its the kid's!

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20 24

I say yes its ok but it depends on what your friends r like and how long the party will be i remeber a few birthday parties i had growing up and my dad always was drinking beer with a couple of his friends i think it should be limited though. Don't invite drunks to your party! it depends on if u drink or not also. I am not a drinking so I wouldn't offer people drinks but if there was going to be a few adults kicking around for my kids party and they brought alcohol with them i wouldn't stop them from drinking it unless they got drunk and was going to ruin the party then i would kick them out.

11
3 20

Wow, you would actually let another adult bring alcohol to your kids party and not say anything. You obviously are not confrontational or something. How disrespectful can you be to actually bring alcohol to someones childs birthday party!! I would be turning them right around and showing them the door.

16 1

It really depends on the nature of the party! If you know everyone well at a small gathering, it's easier to make sure little ones don't pick up a stray drink. Exposure to responsible drinking sets a good example. But with a lot of people, or people whom I don't know (who might have alcohol issues) I think it's better to just drink soda!!

10
0 20

You could also buy blue cups for kids and red cups for adults and make sure they know red cups are not for kids. Thats just an example it doesn't necessarily have to be cups. But thats how you could help with the kids pickn up an alcoholic drnk

2 0

Right because telling kids not to do something always works

0 20

Well it wrks for me because I actually discipline my child so when I say no it means no. This is for a party ages 3 and up

0 1

Don't be so sarcastic Misty. As Jamika said, the cups were just an example and I think it's a good idea. No, kids don't always do what they are told but they don't always do the opposite of what they were told either. Sometimes they listen. And that's what parents are for, to watch them and discipline them when they disobey.

13,264 21

Well, Misty, I guess then that would be the time for adults to be adults and make sure that their drinks are not where little hands can find them, right? I mean, seriously! Are you going to be that negative? Jamika had a very good suggestion, one I've used many times, and not simply because alcohol may be involved.

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0 0

I wouldn't have kids over at my house if I didn't know them and their parents, that being said I personally would have time and activities for the kids and parents to enjoy together and then once. Air and presents are over with and the kids are all off playing with the party favors and new toys I want to be able to relax with my friends and if we chose to have a drink while we are doing that cool with me. I refuse to shield my child from alcohol or make it something that is taboo to them, that kind of this is why kids go nuts drinking underage and getting into trouble. If a child grows up seeing that alcohol can be a casual part of life that is nothing to make a big deal out of as long as its used responsibly they are less likely to go out in highschool and end up with alcohol poisoning or trying to drive home drunk. I wouldn't feel bad one bit about having a glass of wine or a beer with my friend and letting them take their child home. IT'S THE RESPONSABLE PART THAT COUNTS!!! If they only had 1 or 2 and it's been a few hours THEY ARE FINE TO DRIVE!

9
0 28

no! what's wrong with people....alcohol should not be a part of a celebration of any kid where kids are not able to be a voice. I'm frustrated that at the end of the night adults can not be responsible enough to make this choice and what's best for the child...Alcohol can have greater affects than smoking and yet we have greater restrictions on smoking than drinking.....what'swrong with this picture....I don't care if it's in your home and under control. You mold your kids from young on and if this is regular pratice than they learn that it is acceptable and than one day you wonder why they turn to driking. If you can't have a good time without alcohol for your children you need to re-evaluate your priorities.

9
0 0

It isn't about not being able to go without alcohol. I agree that we mold our children from a young age but that is the perfect reason to drink a beer or a glass of wine in front of your child, to be able to hang out with your friends as well and show your child that there isn't anything wrong with it. Treat alcohol like its the most taboo thing on the planet and that is what a child grows up to think and it encourages them to go out and wheel around drinking. I would personally much prefer my son growing up thinking that alcohol is something that you can drink without making a big to do about as long as it is done responsibly. I would much rather educate my child on being responsible with such things rather than try telling them just don't do it or there is something wrong with drinking in moderation. Lead by example and show your child that being responsible with alcohol is the best approach and there is not a single thing wrong with enjoying it that way.

0 28

The responsible thing would not to have it at all...I am very againts this and would not change my stand on it. I have talked to my kids about alcohol and the affects. We have talked about the pros and cons and am not swaying them to think my way by no means..sure I have my experiences with alcohol and it's not for me and have many functions without alcohol and we have a great time and while I'm a parent this is my duty to make better choices for my kids...I by the way grew up without alcohol ever in the home and have no regrets that choice for my parents. I could live in a world without alcohol-that's how low it is on my priority list..it's ashame people need to fill this void in their life with such a irresponsible substance. As far as a taching tool...horrible analagy....why not leave a laoded gun infront of them too and see what happens.Statistics show accidents happen no matter how well prepared one can be, but why chance it with children. A lot of things are done responsible but so many people still get hurt and we usually hear about it all the time and they are RESPONSIBLE ADULTS who are at fault. I would be furious if I found out my child or even I was in an accident and the other person had any level of alcohol in them. Not to mention people all react different to substances so I would not allow my children unsupervised knowing their was going to be alcohol and actually attend and event. It's not even about making it taboo..I think knowledge is power and the more you can educate the better but I like the fact that their is age requirements.

6 26

Amen, Nicole.

3 13

What is the huge deal being made out of alcohol??? My Lord people!! I feel sorry for the kids whose parents "banish" all activities for their kids because someone might have a beer. Those kids are going to be the ones going to keg parties at lunch time in high school. Would you also not allow kids around someone who smoked cigarettes (something I think is FAR worse to do in front of kids than having a cocktail)? Or what about a party where there were open Red Bulls everywhere? Following some of these parents "logic" (Tina), one might as well say that once a child is born, no parent should drink if there are children around EVER, party or not. Not at Thanksgiving dinner, Easter dinner, not when out to dinner, just never. It's parents with this attitude that drive their children out to WANT to drink. It's human nature for kids to do what they aren't suppose to. When I lived in Austria, there was a group of high school students about 15 years old that I would see walk home from school every day. Most days they would stop and have ONE beer as it was legal in Austria then (maybe still is) and a big taboo thing was made out of alcohol. And after their one beer, off they went home to do their homework, chores and/or attend other activities. It's the big deal that pushes kids to drink. My parents drank when I was growing up. Not a lot but usually a beer or a glass of wine after work. It wasn't something that interested me in the slightest and I was one of the few people that didn't drink a drop in high school. My parents didn't hide it from me, tell me it was bad or give me endless lectures about it and therefore I didn't think about it. That and I knew it was illegal anyway. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I've obviously stated mine but being judgemental is just childish.

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24 19

I grew up with parents who didnt drink in front of me. I am not in anyway a drinker nor did I find alcohol a taboo substance that I couldnt wait to get out and abuse. I am 30 and have been drunk a handful of times because I didnt see alcohol as the only way to have fun at a party. By drinking around your children you are showing them that you need to have alcohol at a party to make it a good one.r I actually got teased more by friends growing up because I didnt get absolutely drunk when we were clubbing and thats because I dont need alcohol to have a good time. Yet all my friends whos parents drank at their parties and in the house in front of them do . So no drinking infront of your children doesnt take away the taboo it makes it.acceptable and fun in a childs eyes.

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6 26

Or, drinking in front of your children can teach them that there are adult things and kid things. They shouldn't think they are your peer. They can't drink, drive, smoke, vote, marry, enter into legal contracts...etc. So, thanks for judging me, but (and brace yourself because this may come as quite a shock to you since you know me so well) I am fully capable of having fun without drinking. But sometimes I like to exercise my legal right to enjoy a drink.

14 3

I think it is okay for kids to see their parents drinking reponsibly at gatherings, but a child's birthday is not the appropriate venue.

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0 13

I don't agree with Alcohol @ kids parties, I never allowed it and never will, that's just me.

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0 5

As someone who had parents that invited "their" friends to my parties as a child I'm in the middle of this decision. I haven't had any alcohol at any of my children's birthday parties because the party was for my children not the adults. That being said if you are having a party or bbq in general not a birthday party where the main focus isn't on the child I think that having alcohol is ok. Bc the party is a get together for everyone. As long as it is done in a responsible manner. Children's birthday parties are not a place for the adults to get together for "adult" time, its about the child(ren). It can be very hurtful for the child when adults start drinking and having adult time when the party is supposed to be about the child and not about getting together to socialize with your friends. I know this from experience. Bc no matter what your intentions may be we all like to have fun and our attention can turn selfish without even realizing it. Parties that are family oriented that have alcohol can be very successful as long as its done properly. Parties that are for a child, where the focus is solely on a child(ren) should be a child's party. Juice packs and sodas can be just as relaxing as a frosty mug of beer or a great glass of wine. :)

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64 80

If it is understood that we will be drinking in moderation, then I say absolutely it is fine. I do not think it is okay to be drunk in front of a child ever, but to have one or two is okay.

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1 35

No I do not think adults should be drinking alcohol at a kids party. How are the adults going to pay attention to what is going on if they are drinking. It is a KIDS party.

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47 32

I say yes it's fine. Keep it simple like beer only, no mixed drinks. To the untight people who say, "it sends the wrong message" is ridicoulous. Also just b/c you don't drink does not mean other adults don't. Also if you have not your child that u don't drink someone's drink or not to pick up a stray cup/can then u have not done your job as a parent.

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0 2

You're a moron.

6 1

Setting the best example for your kids may make some parents "uptight" in your eyes, but parents who don't want their kids exposed to alcohol might think those who can't get through an afternoon without booze are trash. I think you should proofread your posts and think about what you are saying. You actually think that parents of a toddler that drink out of someone's booze filled cup are at fault because they didn't teach them not to drink out of random cups? Maybe those who simply must drink should grow up and keep dangerous substances away from little kids. Is it ok to leave other potential poisons in glasses laying around? What about guns? Should those be laying about too? Your logic is seriously flawed. People can do what they want because they can just blame their rotten influence on someone else. If you cannot set a good example for kids then just stay away from them.

1 7

Way harsh! Why don't you slice her head off too! I too am in favor of not having drinks at a party, but really?

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0 15

I think its fine so long as you are smart about who you invite! Lets face it we all have friends that like to drink too much and act like an idiot at any party. So you would only invite the people who are only going to have a few social drinks. Yes, the party is for the kids but you don't have to treat the adults like kids and they too need to be able to enjoy themselves. AND to the people who say "what would happen if a child picked up the drink?" NO offence but if your child picked up an alcoholic drink and actually liked it enough to drink it...umm you prolly already have a problem on your hands. And by the way who the hell is supervising the children?? I don't think alcohol is your problem its your ability to actually watch your kids!

6
1 0

Yes, we always have beverages for all the guests at any party we have.

6
19 5

If it's just a beer or two, I wouldn't judge a child's parents for allowing drinks. I might have something to say if adults are getting wasted at a child's party because like another person said, the adults need to be alert to the children. A child's party shouldn't be a place for adults to get wasted and act like fools. It's supposed to be fun for the kids.

6
0 39

I think at can be inappropriate at times. My 6 year old son was invited to a birthday party by another boy at school. Most of the party was spent riding their scooters up and down the street which was a closed in court but still dangerous as it had a u-bend that was a blind spot for some drivers. The Mothers (wealthy Mothers) spent the WHOLE time behind the fence of the house drinking wine and chatting!!! I could not believe it! Only myself and one other (sensible) Mum decided to sit outside and watch the kids in the street, nobody else seemed to care! I decided then and there my son wouldn't be spending any more time at that child's house. Just goes to show money doesn't buy good sense.

5
1 16

see that is totally inapropriate....In this case the drinking involved not watching the children and it sounds as though it was overindulgent...this is totally different than the adults at a party having a beer or two while still enjoying the party and interacting with and properly monitoring the children. Having a few drinks does not mean that you CANNOT watch your children and it should not mean that in ANY situation...least of all for a CHILD's birthday party. It really sucks that you had to endure such an irresponsible group of parents and I am sympathetic with you. Thankfully you and the other Mom were there to be responsible for the children involved.

0 1

yes, as long as you don't serve too much cuz someone still has to keep an eye on the kids and be responsible

5
2 3

NO. It is a party for the children. The adults need to be alert and interacting with the children.

5
0 0

i think it depends on whom u have invited.. if there are people who wld get drunk and make a scene.its best avoided to serve drinks..otherwise Have fun!!

4
1 25

Yes, it's ok. I've had several birthday parties at our house and there is always beer and wine. I have NEVER seen a child pick up someone's drink and take sip. Additionally I have never seen anyone get drunk. If we have the party at an establishment then there isn't any but that's not our choice...rules of the place.

4
3 23

Well I've been to both and I'd say it depends on the crowd. I will have alcohol at my daughter's first bday but I won't at my son's 3rd.

4
136 24

Myself I wouldn't serve alcohol. It is your childs party, center it on the children. There is the drinking and driving thing and although I understand that one drink may not make you impared I still don't think you should not drive especially with your kids in the car even if it was just one drink.... imo. I don't see why as a patent you couldn't not have a good time at a childrens party without alcohol, what exactly is there to gain serving alcohol vs.. punch coffee tea etc, That having been said we have served alcohol at weenie roasts and campouts where our kids were present. No one was driving and having a cold beer around the bonfire seems different to me than at your kids bday party somehow. A few hours one afternoon at your kids party doesn't seem to me like it would be any better by serving alcohol, imo. And why risk any of the unlikly but not impossible unpleasant things that can happen,

3
15 22

Absolutely not Cause the last thing someone would need is a little one running up and taking a swig of a adults couple and You have a wasted little one.
We have Soda Juice and Milk at my little boys Parties

3
9 9

Only if the adults are capable of NOT acting like children when even mildly intoxicated. A beer or a glass of wine early on, with sodas/water/non-alc for at least two hours before party's end I consider to be drinking responsibly.

2
36 5

Of course, not suggesting people get drunk, but where parties are really aimed at the adults anyway, you serve whatever suits your guests (and the time of day), getting drunk isn't appropriate of course, though i've been to 1st birthdays which were very boozy affairs. Thats not to say when kids are older are you have young guests that you are responsible for, that it is appropriate to drink then - thats different entirely. For our daughters' parties we did serve alcohol but as i was breastfeeding each time, no chance of a drink for me.

1
6 3

In my experience, kids seem to start noticing that some drinks affect grown ups at around age 4. At 1st and 2nd b-day parties, which if we're honest are absolutely for the adults, I think a champagne toast or a glass of wine with a meal, if served, is fine. Should parents be chugging six packs of bear or doing shots? Of course not. If a guest overindulges, find somebody to drive him/her home --and don't invite that person next time you have a party. I know this is hard if it's family (my mom is an alcoholic who is not allowed to drink at my house, if she wants to participate in family events --which occasionally include alcohol). Once the parties really start to be "for the kids" --I think it depends on a lot of things. We hired a shuttle to pick up and take guests home for my son's 3rd b-day party. That was one (pretty expensive) solution. And when the parties become "parents optional" (age 7 or 8 usually) there's no reason for alcohol to be served at all, though it often is.

13 18

Adults drink. Kids play. I have 3 kids and have had many parties. I have had drinks available for those adults whom wanted one. I have never had a keg or anything at a kids party. We save that for the adult parties. But....if the adults are responsible, who am I to say they can't drink. They are adults. Sometimes, they bring their own. As long as you educate your children about the effects of alcohol, it should be ok. Yes, we lead by example, but we can't stop living our lives because we have children. I believe parents who hide their children from real life will be serving their children an injustice later in life. Peace to all! Do the best you can to be a good parent to your children. Have confidence in what you do and they will turn out just fine :D

72 20

I have actually run into this conflict when I was not the hostess of one of my children's birthday parties. It's not that I think it's wrong to serve alcohol, I just felt it was unnecessary. Most likely you're having the party in the middle of the afternoon and centering it around kids games and fun, so I don't get why you would need to be drinking. It would be so much better for the adults to join in with the kids a little, rather than show them they need to drink to enjoy themselves.

4 1

When my kids were young enough that they didn't really have friends and their birthday party friends were really the children of my friends, we would usually have alcohol. We would pretty much spend the whole day outside barbecuing and after any parents with children left, we would continue into the night (putting our own children to bed of course). My husband works and in the wine business and many of our mutual friends do as well. Alcohol is to be respected and not abused. I don't believe there is anything wrong with having it at a party amongst our friends. Now that my children are "older" (4 & 5 yrs) and can invite their own friends to their parties we typically don't do house parties/barbecues and arrange something away from the house. In those cases, where the party will only last no more than 2 hours, we do not even think about having alcohol.

5 2

Absolutely OK! My son is about to have his 3rd bday and we have allowed alcohol at both his previous parties and will at this one as well. Not because we can't go a few hours with out drinking, and not because we can't have a good time with out drinking, but because we are responsible ADULTS. I always supply the water/juice/milk and food then write in the invites BYOB if you want something extra :) No one ever gets 'wasted' and everyone always has a good time together. At this point in our lives my friends and I have all learned the basic "never leave your drink unattended, never set it down" rule, even the ones with out kids, from our younger days so the kids getting a hold of them is just not going to happen. It's all about what you're comfortable with, and using good judgement. Just because alcohol is served doesn't mean that the party isn't about the child anymore that's just ridiculous. I understand the dangers of alcohol+children, but the world is full of dangers. Fire is dangerous but we still roast marshmallows from time to time, and lord knows the roads are dangerous but we still drive to the store. Its about moderation and responsibility and good judgement. :)

3 18

It is up to the person and as long as it is not abused! I will have alcohol in the house for my sons birthday and will offer the parents. Most will stick with a soft drink or cup of coffee but those who are local will have a glass of wine or something. My son sees us drink as we try to go for dinner early in restaurants so he can also come and if you think about it do you not drink on holiday? If I am supervising someone else's child and the parents are not staying I will not have a drink but if all the parents stay to socialize I will have one.

8 34

I don't see why not? I don't even drink, but we buy beer for the adults at my daughter's party every year (she's 3 now). We throw a big party with our friends and family every year. Only like 2 of my friends have kids so there's only 3-4 kids at the party. They play, have fun, eat, open presents, piñata, etc... But it's mostly friends and family hanging out. And I would assume parents don't drink and drive (if so, rethink who you are hanging out with).. I don't think that's something to assume just because they serve alcohol. If one of the parents of the kids drinks, I'm sure the other would drive home. Sometimes my fiancée has a couple beers when we are at a get together with our daughter, then I just drive. NBD.

0 12

I think everyone is entitled to make up their own mind & do what they feel comfortable with. Our church allowed champagne after christening our daughter & we have had alcohol at every one of our 3 girls ' birthday celebrations. I have never given it a thought to be appropriate or not... This is what we do & feel comfortable with. And if you don't feel comfortable drinking alcohol at these kinds of celebrations, by all means don't.

182 16

Is it a child's party or a birthday party for a child. We have 2 parties - a "friends party" and a "family party". The former is usually mid-afternoon, at a state park beach, and for my child and her friends (along with assorted members of their families). As it is for the kids, no alcohol, no biggee and it's not allowed there anyway. Then we have the latter party which is usually a BBQ at our house for all ages and we serve something for everyone - soda, water, gatorade, beer, Mike's, and wine. At no point is the emphasis on the food or drinks, I just believe that it is being a good hostess to offer everything. I think the distinction between the 2 types of parties is important to whether or not it is appropriate. Also, the party's sole focus is not my child (she is loved but not elevated to the center of attention of family events so the party is not all about her, mainly an excuse for family to get together to celebrate another year). In fact, I just came back from a child's B'Day party that was for friends and family and there was beer available as well as other stuff - the beer tasted great with the Mexican food served. Noone drank too much and a good time was had by all, and it did not seem inappropriate at all. I also feel that it is completely possible to have a drink around kids and model appropriate use of alcohol which includes adults enjoying an adult beverage and handling it in an adult manner. I would expect responsible adults to behave appropriately, which includes not leaving their drinks where kids can inadvertently sip from them. A lot of what kids learn is how adults around them handle things - if you treat alcohol as a big, bad thing, forbidden, and not allowed around kids, then kids will never learn how it can be an enjoyable part of a celebration but not the focus of a celebration and used or not used as people wish. In addition, I think that some of the very negative reactions to this topic are stemming from the fact that, as Americans, we have a much more uptight attitude towards alcohol. I have British relatives who include wine or champagne with every celebration and it's no big deal, just how they grew up. The kids in the family don't seem to have too much of an interest in it because it's not a forbidden thing, just not suitable for them at their age. So, I think it can be appropriate, depending on the locale (chuck e cheese, probably not) and the age of the attendees.

0 0

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