Should siblings be in the same school classes?

If you have twins or children close in age, it may be possible that they are in the same grade school class. Would you prefer they be together or apart in school?

If you have any questions, please check our FAQ page

17  Answers

12 29

we homeschool so my girls are 4 and 5 and doing pre-k/k school together.. soon they'll do k/1st together. i dont think my girls need to be split up right now
(i forgot to add i also have a 23month and 7month old boys who will/are homeschooling as well and they'll all be in whatever grades they need to be in.. if thats together thats fine by me :)

1 0

We homeschool also. My girls are 8, 4 and 2. I will keep all of them together for some subjects, but obviously, they will be on individual levels in other areas. I suppose it depends on each girl's strengths and areas that require more attention.

4 59

I have 5-year-old boy/girl twins (and my son had a speech delay). I was happy they were in separate pre-school classes (it gave them a chance to work on their own developmental needs at that time), but happy they share a Kindergarten class now (they don't sit next to each other in class, but still have time together).

5 37

I'm a twin & when I was kept separate from my twin I found it hard to concentrate... My twin & I are very close... We had the same friends & did everything together... We still do... As punishment when we were young, my parents would separate us...we hated that...I remember my mom giving us separate rooms right accross the hall from each other...we met in the middle & slept on the floor in between our two rooms....
Our bond is indiscribable.....
I'm 36 yrs old now...& we are still that close....

5 37

I forgot to mention that I'm an identical twin.

1 23

My twins are in different classes because I don't want them to be compared or feel the need to compete. They are unique individuals with unique talents and sometimes it is hard for other people to not group them as a single person. They see each other all the time and share a bedroom so they enjoy the time apart as well. Only downfall is that they end up having different homework assignments and activities.

183 2

Studying together would be fun for them. However, ask them about their opinion.

4 44

I have children very close in age as well as a set of twins. I have 4 boys in the span of three years with the twins being in the middle. I don't have a problem with them being in the same school (as that is our only option here) or in the same classes. However when the twins were in preschool, we did have to seperate them into different classes as one of the twins was trying to dominate the other. The seperation did not last long, they were due to move up in classes anyhow. The dominate one moved up 3 months earlier, then the other was able to blossom on his own without the other twin telling him what he was supposed to do. It helped tremendously to help build the others self-confidence and after that they have been in the same classes until this year. They are in 6th grade now and get some classes together but not all day, but still have the same teachers and lessons throughout the day, so they can ask each other questions on homework and such. They do usually do their homework together and help with the younger brothers homework. This has worked well for our family.

15 9

my kids' school in Montessori has the policy of separating siblings in different classes. Had it not have this policy, I'd like to have my kids separated to encourage their own independence.

0 0

Very good! Agree

96 11

I have 3 int the 3 year old program this year. My son who is on the autism spectrum was in one class room and my twins in the other. This week was the first time the girls had a chance to go to school by themselves. The teacher noticed how much quieter they are alone. Next year the girls will be in separate class rooms. I hope to alternate years. They need to be individuals yet they need to know how to work together too. I'm just glad that in NH parents have a say in what they feel is best :)

1 13

Hi. I have 5 year old b/b/b triplets. One is very rambunctious, quiet, but friendly. He is academically ahead of the others. His cognitive reasoning is far more advanced. (1st born). Another is dominant, agressive, and rambunctious. He's a very natural leader. Academically he is a little above average. (2nd born). The other is very reserved, likes to play alone, very observant, he really likes to take the easy routes. He is academically a hair below average just because he's a little lazy (3rd born). This surprises me about the 3rd, because he had a lot of firsts among the three. I didn't do any rhyming names. Which is important because I really wanted them to find their own sense of self and own identity. In preschool they were in the same classes. It was always hard very people to differentiate between the three (even though they were dressed differently), so they were always called the triplets, or Mr. Last name. Which meant for a long time they got in trouble together. But they were always wrestling each other and just always in a clique, sharing friends

1 13

And everything. They are in kindergarten now, in separate classes (my choice). I believe they are really learning a lot about how to manage without brothers always being around. They are really becoming much more indepenant. They love being able to say they have ther own teacher. I think it is impotant for them to get as much individual attention as possible. The teacher is able to focus moreon their indvidual needs and not compare one to the other. They don't get the opportunity to sneak off and wrestle and get in trouble. (Yay! I would be gettting a call everyday! Heck they wrestled in the womb every minute!) Their level of concentration is still a work in progress, but still tons better without haing brother to distract them. I really do see them trying new things without their brother and not being afraid to try new things. Their personalities have developed and they gained a new sense of self. I wanted their individuality to stand out and it certainly does. They are constatly learning how to operate independently of each other, yet maintain that closeness.

1 13

Plus, everyday its a real treat to see how much they love and miss each other. Hands down the best decision I think.

0 0

Thank you for your insight! My twins were born at 31 weeks, and while they didn't have any significant preemie issues other than being sick a lot, my one boy is just now showing some delays. Handwriting is a big struggle for him, and he consistantly fails hearing tests. I took him to the Optometrist, and it turned out he needs glasses! His fine motor skills are slowly improving, and his frustration level is lowering. My other twin is an average kid, and dominant. I feel that if I don't separate them, one might get lost in the shuffle. My very good friend has b/b/g triplets that are in the third grade, and they have been in separate classes since kindergarten! She said it's the best thing she ever did. She juggles the different homework schedules and birthday parties for one kid or the other. The benefit of them growing as individuals FAR outweighs managing homework from three different classes!

View More
13 2

Not sure how much relevance this has on the question but I thought I'd include my situation here.

My son happens to be only 10 days older than my stepson. Even though the stepson lives with his mother during the week when in school, they are also in the same school district. I personally thought about putting them in the same school, so they could spend more time together. Currently I have my son enrolled in a Francophone (French) Public School, and the stepson is in just a regular public school. Although my son loves speaking French, he has asked to be in the same school as his stepbrother. It's a thought I toss around in my head quite a lot. I think we will try the separate school thing for at least another year, and see how they fare in being on the same hockey team this winter. That should give a good indication on how they will interact when other children are around.

1 8

This is such a helpful topic. We have some decisions to make for preschool this year. Our boy/girl twins are 3. The girl already knows all her letters and is pretty advanced in speech/communication for her age, also has been potty trained for a while. The boy has issues with speech/communication, just became potty trained. I believe they need individual space to thrive. Girl twin seems to dominate and control her brother, so giving him a chance to become his own person is a good thing. I would definitely not hold one back a year or anything, but putting them in separate environments might do the trick to getting the boy caught up developmentally and socially without holding the girl back. Weigh in if you have experience with similar situation.

78 20

Yelena - I'm not a mom of twins, but I used to babysit boy/girl twins. Your twins sound very much like the kids I babysat, down to the girl being dominant. They were in nursery school in the same classroom, and I believe when they went to kindergarten, they were separated. This helped the little boy with making his own friends and having time away from his twin helped him develop social and age-appropriate skills with her intervening to "help" him.

9 15

I have 3 kids (1 boy age 11, and 2 girls ages 7 & 8). When the 8 year old started Junior kindergarten, she went in the mornings and the senior Kindergarten kids were in the afternoon but the following year when my little one started they had split classes. I was notified by the school that were going to split the kids and still keep one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I said, no. I wanted them together for a couple of reasons. The main reason was we had a nanny and she had to walk to the school to drop off and pick up the kids. If they were split she would have to walk back and forth extra times and drag 2 little kids with her each time. Also, this would be easier for our nanny to have 1/2 the day with no kids and the other half with 2 that can play with each other. All of my kids attended a pre-school so my decision to keep the girls together for this one year in Junior/Senior kindergarten had nothing to do with separation anxiety or anything like that. I just felt it would be easier on the family. Now, we had the same situation this year with split classes with grade 2 and 3. They started off the year in the same class (btw, we are in a different school now), and I had to go in and tell the principal to separate them.
Personally, I would rather all 3 kids be in the same class. One teacher, one Christmas gift, one year end gift, one class to bake muffins for, one class to help out in! :) I know that will never happen but one can only hope!
Best of luck on whatever you decide!

2 0

I have boy/girl twins that are currently in third grade. I have kept them in the same class so far. They do not interact much with each other at school, they have their own friends, people don't even know they are twins unless they are told. Every teacher they have had from preschool on has said they don't see any problem keeping them in the same class. Basically, I really don't see any reason to split them up.

However, I do see reasons to keep them together, mainly logistical.
1) I help in the classroom on a regular basis and if they are together I can give that one class all the time I can.
2) They are both being held to the same homework, reading, book project, etc. expectations so that one does not have the "easy, fun teacher" and one has the "hard, mean teacher". I can't imagine having to explain over and over every day why one has to do more homework while the other one got an extra recess and no homework for example.
3) I get two reports on what happens in the classroom, which is helpful as oftentimes what each one remembers is completely different than what the other one remembers!
4) I have only one classroom I need to visit during Open Houses.

Well, you get the idea. I might have a different opinion if they were identical twins, but for my boy/girl twins, keeping them together works for all of us!

8 76

I am a fraternal twin. My sister and I were always in the same class when we were growing up and I wouldn't change a thing! We had our own friends and interests as well, but I was always a better person with her around me, and still am to this day. :)

36 5

well it does depend on where you live, in some areas you will not have a choice as there is only one class, and only one nearby school, and multiple year groups are taught together, however where there is an option in most cases being at the same school but in different classes seems to work out best. Being apart (often for the first time) gives them a chance to further develop their individual personalities, and also does help school staff to treat them as seperate kids (twins, especially identical ones who stick together constantly, can end up being "the twins" rather than a and b, by accident really but its not fair on them). That said I helped at a very small school and actually had 3 siblings (fraternal twins and older sister) in the class, but we had no wriggle room, as it was a multi years classroom and it seemed to be fine, but the twins preferred to be apart at school which I think helped a lot.

0 0

I have a set of fraternal twin boys who will be going to Kindergarten this fall. I have decided to place them in separate classes. One boys has a more dominant personality and the other is very free spirited and easy going. One picks up new ideas faster than the other. In my situation, different classes will help them grow and develop as individuals. The schools system where we live mandates that mulitples be separated, but you can petition to change it of you desire. This is such a "situation specific" topic. I have friends who refuse to separate their twins because they function better together. To each their own!

214 32

I think it would depend on the child - if they really enjoyed each other's company and worked well together, then I would probably see no problem with them being in the same class. That said, if one tended to do all the work, or one seemed to be singled out, I may have them switch classes.

This actually happened to me when I was in middle school. My brother and i were placed in the same class - which only lasted about 5 minutes until we had the opportunity to talk to the school principle and the teachers of that grade. They were perfectly happy to split us up if we were not happy working together - and we weren't.


Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms