What can you do to keep your husband's love?

Women often wonder how to keep their relationship alive during and after pregnancy. What are some ways you keep your romantic relationship in tact while having or with children?

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40  Answers

53 26

Are you all serious? Is this a joke? My husband and I both work and there is little time left after putting our daughter to bed for 'us' time. He sees me at my worst after work (and vice versa) and we vent at each other but he still loves me and I love him. It has nothing to do with the meal you cook him, how you look when he gets home, what you let him watch on TV or making him feel like a hero. In our house we are equal (and I have the remote!!!).

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5 0

You really have no idea? How old are you?????

2 1

HAHA CAROLINE....I was thinking the same thing

53 26

Its not about the age, my husband and I have been together 7 years and have worked through tough patches like everyone else. My daughter is 15 months and needs a lot of attention (as they do at that age) and my first priority is to her. I understand the family unit is important but I will make time to have date nights (as mentioned in other posts on here) and so forth, not flounce around with red lippy in sexy underwear before or after a hard day at work.

0 12

No disrespect, but I think we're missing the point. If you were or did ANY of these things for your husband before marriage, then you need to continue, to the best of your ability to do these things now. And yes, that goes both ways. Neither of you wants to feel like you aren't still important, loved, wanted, admired, etc. Circumstances change, but the reason you married each other doesn't and needs to be preserved and respected.

13 27

I can't imagine ANY person expressing such a SELFISH attitude! My husband owns an airline, He works "8/25/376" as we say, and i work as well. YET i STILL care what he likes to eat, and try to make a good meal, I STILL try to keep sexy for him, and LOOK like i not only care about HIM, but care about MYSELF. And if he were NOT my hero, why would i expect HIM to treat me like his Princess?? and he still does after 18 years, 4 kids and millions of miles of flights that not only took him away from me, but BACK to me.. I take the time to SHOW him.. and he never forgets ME and my needs as well! You seem to need to be in "control",, as per the "remote" comment.. if i don't like what he watches, there are other TV's. But I'd rather endure a little Science show, and his company, than watch a soap and LOSE his company, and attentions.! My eldest is 16, has her OWN new twins, I have MY new twins, we share the same HOME an we ALL know babies take time, but sharing makes life BETTER not less fulfilling!.. if my "flouncing" around in a teddy and lipstick provides my man pleasure, then i will MAKE time. As i know he will make time to take me shopping and sit endless hours while i TRY to select a new handbag or dress. or he will spend HOURS cleaning house while i nap after nursing the twins. One thing i KNOW you GET what you GIVE, and in my relationship, I get ANYTHING i need, because i am willing to GIVE the same...One day, soon, I am certain i want him to help me bear more children, i KNOW he will always be willing.. for he knows i love him, and i show it in everything i do every day!

53 26

MandiSue, What is selfish about it? I dont quite understand? My husband and I love each other no matter what I cook or wear. Granted I try not to put foor I know he hates on his plate but he shouldnt love me any less if he doesnt always appreciate the meal I have made. Same with the clothes, I know he hates me in certain clothes but he certainly doesnt love me less for wearing them. I did not fall in love with a man who is fickel enough to stray for silly things like that. It does go both ways in our house, my husnabnd does not go to the gym, but I dont love him less for that, he eats ALOT of McDonalds but I dont love him less for that. He wont clean the house, but I dont love him less for that. We only have one child and do not want any more but I take my hat off to you if you can manage 4 and still keep the relationship going. I just dont think I am being selfish.

0 48

Look u may love each other. And no love is not butterflies. Its a decision. This is what everyone is trying to say. When you love your husband you want to do whatever it takes to make him happy. I can probably bet money that yall may love each other but I bet yall argue more than show love. Bc with that attitude it shows me you only care about yourself. U dont have to dress up every night, no u dont have to cook every night. But she two people get married they are joined together as ONE! A WHOLE! you cant live with only half a brain or half a heart or body. If u care for yourself to make sure u eat or bathe or whatever then u should care that much for your other half, your husband. I have a 3 year old little girl, a 3 month old baby boy. And on April 18, 2011 i lost my 4 year old little girl in a car wreck we were in. The 18th of this month makes 1 year. Me and my husband have been married for 5years. Which means we did not have any time alone. We had a child from the start. We have been through more than any couple i know. And i have been through more than anyone i know. I have every single right to be depressed where i dont want to cook or clean or look pretty or get out of bed for that matter. But every now and then i dress up right before my husband gets home. Bc i want him to look at me as man my baby still got it. I want him to see me as sexy. And i promise you that a man will get tired of seeing their wife look like crap everyday. That doesn't mean he dont love her. But in marriage is about a wife giving a 100% and same for husband. When u get married and say i do, you r promising to

0 10

I have 2 babies under the age of 2. Me and my husband still have that us time, even if it requires staying up a little later to have it, its still there. If it's important enough to you, then you will always make time...I'd rather be tired as hell the next day, as I am everyday, than to skip mommy/daddy time =)

0 0

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23 0

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5 5

Let him be your hero. Let him lead and be the man. We have roles for a reason. When we try to cross over into a role that is not ours, we can potentially damage a good thing. Respect his opinions, listen to his ideas, allow him to make decisions, too. Having children doesn't mean suddenly it's okay to be sloppy and stinky and grumpy. Greet him with a smile and a kiss....make him a delicious meal....give him great sex. It will return to your a hundredfold. I can attest to that. My husband adores me. :o)

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30 0

I second that. We have to resist the curse that makes us want to usurp the mans role.

16 7

I agree. Feminism confused me when I was in college and I want traditional roles. At least when I wear a skirt, I know who I am. With the pants in the family, I always felt lost.

0 6

I have to agree with Ellen, I have been married for 23 years, have 3 beautiful children. And while the kids were our focal point when they were young, we still made time for us. There are bed times, baby sitters, aunts, grandparents, etc. There is ALWAYS a way to make time. There is nothing wrong with date night, both of you need it, and it keeps that fire going. It is really nice to have those special moments, and date night does not consist of talking about the kids!!! I have always greeted him with a kiss, and a hug. If my hands happen to be full then it was a kiss and a smile (even to this day). We love our children dearly and we also love each other without a doubt! The overnight dates are great! Sexy clothes never hurt either, I can still say to this day with our kids grown and moved out, our love is just as strong today, if not stronger, as it was during our 1st year of marriage. My husband adores me, tells me I am beautiful and I adore him and he is still sexy to me. Love & marriage is what you make it, and children are an added bonus!

23 0

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2 1

you have to remember husband time is just as important as you time or children time. you cannot take each other for granted. you have devote time to still be the couple you were before pregnancy or kids. most couples slip away or grow apart from marriage stress or stress from kids. you have to make your relationship a priority. you have to still do those things to turn your husband on, just like you did when you were courting. many wives or girlfriends fall into a "comfortable" realtionship and lose connection with what got you there to begin with. just remember that your man needs tlc just like anything else..dont let time and stress make you forget to give him as much love as you want him to give you....

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5 7

I totally agree. You need to make time for your husband, your kids and for your self and respect one another and not take each other for granted. I've been married for 16 years and still going strong.

82 15

I agree with you Melody, my husband and I sometimes meet for a quick lunch and sex time to keep our spark alive, I still dress sexy for him when I can too. There's no man that wants to see his wife always In an ugly pair of sweat pants and uncombed hair, get real ladies.

2 7

I agree that time together, as a couple, makes all the difference in the world! My husband and I have been married 13 wonderful years, and are still mad for each other! We have had our ups and downs, like any couple, but we work through them and come out stronger for it. Making time for one another each day can have a huge impact....even if it is just cuddle time before bed after the kids are asleep. Date-nights and weekends away from the kids are important. Just make time for one another and you will be just fine. Don't put your relationship on the back burner b/c of work or the kids, b/c what happens when the kids are grown and out of the house? You will be stuck with a guy you used to love but now hardly know b/c you have grown apart.

23 0

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1 11

I think this is a terrible question... are we in the 1950s? You shouldn't have to "keep" anyone's love... it's either unconditional or it doesn't exist! A good husband understands the enormous pressure of raising children should be burdened on both shoulders and the wonderful rewards shared too!

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16 7

I don't expect your marriage to last very long. By making your man feel special, he wants to stay.

174 7

Yes, we need to make our man feel so very special, loved, sexy, adored, etc.. It is what we want too.

1 11

Haha... I am shocked women like you still exist! Especially the lovely Maggie! My husband worships the ground I walk on and vice versa... If you have to make your man stay then I already know you haven't experienced a fraction of the happiness we have! I'm sure deep down you realise it too!

2 19

I agree Chantel, this is the real world where women are equals with men!! If you have to do all the things these stupid women suggest then may I suggest that your partner does not perhaps love the real you, but merely what you provide for him. Seriously if you have to cook a gourmet meal every night and have to apply a full face of makeup before you can greet him, you are making a false reality for your relationship. I have been with my husband for 15 years and we have been married for more than 10 years and never once have I had to resort to these measures to keep or foster his love or desire for me, it comes naturally as he loves me for the person I naturally am. I also work part-time and earn more money than he does in a year and he respects me for this rather then resenting it!! I can't believe all of the opinions expressed on this topic, the stupid answers astound me, the most stupid thing I've heard in a long time- let your baby cry while you blow dry your hair and put on your makeup. Why did you have kids you selfish woman if you only care about yourself and would do this to your child!! Maybe get a reality check and an education and you might not be so stupid!! How funny that some of them who write these things are now single, but of course it was not their fault!!

16 7

Marriage is work. If you think it is just take and take, then of course you will be a statistic. I have been abused and beaten and divorced. If I don't live up to the modern version of a wife, I am not sorry. I am 50 years old and found that the way my grandmothers treated their husbands is the way to make a man feel special. My first husband made me feel like a surrogate mother and slave, my current and final husband makes me feel like a queen. He takes care of me. If making a hot breakfast and scratch meals before we go to work and after we get home is the price I pay for having dignity and not being a punching bag, then I will continue on this course. I love my husband and he loves me. WE WORK at making our relationship work and don't consider it disposable. Mutual respect and respecting what the other person likes makes me happy.

53 26

Chantal, I agree with you. I was shocked when I read some of these comments!!!

23 0

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711 9

First this question is posed in a way that is misleading. You cannot keep something intangible when the source is from another. Just as we cannot make anyone else do anything, we cannot "keep" love that comes from another.However, in terms of keeping a relationship alive and glowing during and after pregnancy and while rearing children the best thing one can do is to TRULY and unconditionally love oneself and to TRULY and UNCONDITIONALLY love those around you. This task is easier said than done, but will accomplish the task of keeping the romance fires burning. It is important to remember that each of us has personality traits that come in conflict with others at certain times and to ALLOW these traits to exist without fighting about them, but rather acknowledging them is a very important thing to do. I follow (to the best of my ability) the 4 agreements: Be impeccable with your word (mean what you say and say what you mean); DON''T make assumptions; DON'T take ANYTHING personally; (one of the hardest ones for me as I am very sensitive and protective by nature) and Do the best you can every day.

LOVE can be a very elusive energy and especially when attention is shifting fro one person to another. Sit down during the pregnancy and discuss such things as the shifting of attention from the husband to the new child and decide that both should be involved i that process as the new child will be the focus once born. Talk about what it takes to keep each other focused on the child without losing the attention for one another. Purposefully set aside times to give the attention only to the partner. Plan times to "get away together" after the baby arrives and can be cared for by another for shirt periods of time. It is unfortunate that our world-wide society has focused on the importance of men above and beyond the importance of women, when in fact we are created equally. Though we are shifting this inequality it is taking much longer than it should (in my estimation) but it is occurring. As we begin to accept that each of us is a treasured soul in this universe we will learn to respect that truth and can then adjust our actions to follow that truth. Pregnancy and birth can certainly bring out the traits of maturity or immaturity in each of us and to keep a watch on those thoughts and actions that can bring out immature reactions and actions is something to be aware of at all times. Just remember that allowing each of us to be who we TRULY are...children of the Most High (by whatever name you call that energy) and to treat each other with utmost respect and Love is the only way to "keep" romance alive and burning with passion.

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159 19

Okay, first things first. It's not easy being a mom. We are over-whelmed at times. But, your husband is either willing to be a partner or he isn't. If it's totally up to you to keep everything alive, then it's already a one sided relationship that is going to be impossible to keep up with in the long term. I've been there, done that, and my ex is now an absentee father to my 11 year old, and my new hubby is a totally interactive dad.

Anyway, pregnant or with children, it's a team work application. As a mom, you need to realize that for now, sure, your young children and babies come first, because they're helpless. It's our jobs as mothers AND fathers to teach our children to be independent. Just remember, after your kids are grown and out of the house, your husband will still be there. To make sure there is something left in the future, plan a date night. Preferably once a week, but, don't go less than once a month. Have grandma babysit, to ensure that your child is safe. Do something romantic, like what you first did as a dating couple. Do a movie, favorite restaurant, a walk on the beach, candle lit dinner at home, what ever.

It also helps that hubby/daddy gets time with the kids, so, at least once a week, lock yourself into a bubble bath, turn on some music, and let dad get acquainted with the kids. He doesn't have to be superdad, just be willing to do at least an hour a week with the kids, to give mom a break, especially if you work. Kids don't raise themselves, and how will they learn Dad's values if he doesn't spend time with them? Plus they need a grown playmate anyway. When he can appreciate the business of child rearing, he will appreciate what you do, and it may be time that you make him your sous chef when cooking supper, or, have him play with the kids while you prepare supper.

Be willing to let your hair down, you're not wonder woman either. Be yourself, and do the best you can, and if he's doing the best he can, it will all work out. If he's not willing to do his best, and expects you do hold up everything, it's going to be doomed, and you'll never be happy trying to jump through hoops and loops while trying to get everything else done.

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9 0

If you are afraid of losing your husband's love while you are pregnant with his child, you have picked the wrong man. Who is this, JR Ewing? Tisa- I agree with you for the points made after the birth. I work as much as possible, as does my husband. We try our best to get the bills paid and spend time with each other. Frankly, I am most interested in my child, her happiness, safety, and education as the greatest concern. I feel sad for women who have children and still dither about men (who should be men) and whether or not the man gets his special time and attention.

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5 0

Good luck in your relationship Robin, you clearly haven't worked it out yet..........maybe you should show your husband the comments on this website about this subject and really look into his eyes for his answer......without a husband, my friend, you have no family. Don't take my comments offensively, take them to heart! Don't forget........your husband needs and wants your love too. It's not all about the kids. It is about ALL of you. xxxx

9 0

Caroline, if your husband truly loves YOU, he should understand that for 9 months, your body is changing in immense ways. I am in no way saying that we have a right to be total bitches or treat them badly. However, the man should be helpful and not question whether or not he is loved. THAT should have been decided upon before the baby was made. If he has such little confidence in the relationship AND selfishness over his own needs for such a short period of time for the 6 weeks after the birth, I think he sounds more like a boy than a man. I want help with our new baby, not more crying about what I haven't done enough of to please. The original question posed was "What can you do to keep your husband's love?" as if love should so easily just disappear. LOL, you say some red lipstick and drop those pounds immediately. I do not argue that the whole family unit is important. At the end of the day, I want my family to work but if it does not, I have a huge family outside of our little unit so don't dare think for a second that we will be lost and lonely if he decides to run off! By the way, I don't need luck with my relationship.I personally don't NEED a relationship. I want it however. My man has to be a MAN and not another baby that needs constant coddling. As far as what else you have written, if you HAVE to do all those things to keep a man that is not very understanding, that is sad for you.

53 26

Robin, I agree, your bady changes for up to 2 years after having a baby and even then it may never be the same. If his love dissapears because of that I dont want him.

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2 0

communication plays a vital role in a relationship especially to that of marriage. a day should always be filled with stories of different topics. and opinions should always be accepted. submit to him. surprise him with quotes everyday. make love after the kids have slept.(we usually do this) so it becomes a very nice bonding in the wee hours of the morning.(hehe) always say I love you. they wanted to hear that all the time and most especially make yourself smell fresh all the time. keep the flame burning. re invent your relationship

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0 0

I think from what I've read here, I found there is no 'universal' answer. Neither my husband or I want 'traditional roles' in our family. We just both want to be heard and understood and come to agreements.

So obviously, if I suddenly started saying 'Honey, you wear the pants in the family, this is your decision.' He would NOT be more in love with me. lol :-) But that's what works for my family, and I don't expect that to be the case with everyone elses'.

What works for us is doing small, simple things every day to express our appreciation for each other. Like I sent him a funny e-card about how much I love him (and having sex with him). He wrote me a love e-mail about all the things he loves about me. I give him a 5 min back rub after a stressful day. He tells me stupid jokes to make me laugh when I'm stressed.

We make sure that at least once a day (hopefully more) we give each other a full kiss. Not a peck, but a true embracing while connecting kiss. These don't take long, (or cost anything) but they help us get over the rough day to day romance killers of kids, laundry and housekeeping.

And he doesn't care what lingerie I wear, his words when I asked him what he liked where "I like you better naked." ha ha ha.

So, to get to my point, I think the first step in keeping your husband's love, is to understand him, and what actions make HIM feel loved. It will be different for everyone.







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2 0

Dont forget to set aside time for your relationship. Have date nights without the kids. Compliment him often and listen to his thoughts and complaints. Leave romantic and sexy notes on the phone, computer, bathroom, etc. Reserve some time just before bedtime doing something special which may be simple.

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13 4

This is so not hard. #1 treat him like you love him Like he is your american Idol. Be excited to do simple things. Like " Oh you look hot and sweaty here is a cold drink. " Even if you are pregnant or have a two year old clinging to your leg you can do that.
#2. Don't let the main stream media's ideas than men are all idiots and unnecessary get into your ear. Trust me, you don't want to try single parenthood. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination.
#3 Speak to him the way you would if everyone is watching you talk to him. Remember he has to put up with you on bad days.
#4. Sex is your way of validating him. And it feels great so what are you holding back for? You love him don't you?

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30 0

Have designated date nights even if its short and at home once the kids are sleep. Feed the kids then eat together without them sometimes. When you buy the kids something buy him something too no matter how small the item it will help him not to feel left out. Remember although we are grown we all have a little girl inside who comes out some times to whine and demand our way, so the men have that little boy. Give hime praise even for the things he is "supposed" to do. And I promise you he still isn't a mind reader.

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21 0

I had a man once who had had HUNDREDS of women, been married twice and never had more than 3-4 years (even with the mothers of his children, who BOTH left him)

This is TOTALLY against the modern idea of equality for women, but the old fashioned saying:-
"Be a lady in the living room, a gourmet chef in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom" works wonders(but only if you like that kind of thing anyway, or it won't work!)

People will criticise me I know but EIGHT years later it was still magical and he NEVER once cheated (we broke up over children, not our own relationship)

Remember, there are women out there who will GLADLY take him away from you! At work, in the shops, even in the car in the next lane! Be warned!

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159 19

And what if you can't cook, and were raised as a tomboy? I guess it's a thing of make sure you find a person who matches your own style. I can be a chef in the kitchen, and definitely a whore in the bedroom... This lady thing? Tehe. I'm just me...

0 0

I will keep him by being me, that is who he married, that is who he loves. I must remain the same in my character. My mom always said, you have to do what you did to get him, to keep him. For example, I don't wake up with curlers in my head, I try to look glamarous at all times. Not saying that this is neccessary, if he met you plain Jane, then it okay too. However, if he met you glamarous, keep it up diva! I have gained a little weight, but I know how to dress even with the extra curves. Keep the dinners flowing, a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, especially military. LOL! God bless!

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19 0

Respect and Sex. Those are the two top things that make a mans engine run! Then all the rest falls into place.

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56 44

My husband is a long haul truck driver, So are alone time is once a week, he comes home we do our family fun stuff, WE just say no matter how tired we are we always go do something fun and to keep our romance alive is easy, we took tips from the movie Four Christmas' when they role play and such we are happy and it works but we also rely on being very open and communication. We never leave each other out of the loop. I think it helps that I'm only 26 and my husband is 41.....lol

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3 23

I think you need to make them feel like the big man on campus every now and then. Just like women want the flowers and romance from time to time like when you first met, so does a man. He wants that undevided attention or special outfit or favorite meal. Does that mean you have to be that way 24/7 and be in some crazy 1950s role? I dont think so. You just need to make time on occasion to make him feel special and that you haven't forgotten about him. Just like we need to hear we are beautiful, a night out, some candles and romance and just to know your his number one so do men. No one expects you to be this way 24/7. We all have priorities and are busy but just like you would want him to make time for you, he wants you to make time for him. If one of you doesn't do this then you'll find someone who will. Maybe not now but somewhere down the line your relationship will go to the toilet if you dont remind them how special they are to you.

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82 15

Most woman make the decisions In the house hold, they plan the birthdays, what to eat, they plan the family outings ect... I work, keep the house In order and hold the family together, men just don't usually think to do those things. If my man decided what we were going to have for dinner everyday then we'd be eating either takeout or pizza everyday. I also want to note that you should want to look nice for your husband and vice versa. I don't want my husband turning Into a slob just because we have children, I'm not saying you should wear makeup everyday but at least show that you care a little about how you look, you started your relationship out by looking good for one another ,so why not dress up once In a while? I like looking sexy for my husband and In turn he tries to look nice for me too.

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12 13

You need to be able to talk about anything. Even when things don't feel right or you think the relationship needs a "refresher" sort of speaking. I guess I found out Love has so many feelings. But I think what helped keep my husband and me close is we talked alot. And when we are upset don't shout, don't blame but try and figure out a solution to the problem.
We also found things we like to do together. Plus once in a while I or my husband will leave little notes so they'll be found later that have nice things on them. Like we miss each other, or the "I love you" or something about the meal they made or the helping hand with the laundry. Just showing him how much you appreciate the little things goes a long way... I hope this helps.

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2 0

Love him pamperr him be intelligent to be a intellectual to pamper his mind

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3 8

Keep having sex! Date night is so important to us, but sex is so important to them. It's hard sometimes (or a lot of the time), because we're constantly giving physically & emotionally. They are such basic creatures, most men, and it can deffinately make a big difference

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2 0

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I love my husband and so much and I am totally devoted to humans our relationship,I tell him everything as our trust is very important, I like to dress up to him and wear nice perfume , I make quality time for him no matter how tired I am after a long day of studying, I love to cook for him and maybe cook together sometimes, I love cuddling him and having sex with him , I create jokes every day to shine his day and we didn't make kids but I de want a baby from him to grow next to my heart and I will teach our child to love and respect their dad , as much as I love him and respect him.
I always ask him to schedule dates together, love is a friendship with a burning fire so is marriage, you have to water your flowers every day the same thing with love, you have to feed it everyday:)simply I want to grow old with my husband and I want him to remember all our golden times when I lea this world. Love only grows stronger and this is my case with my husband.

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I think this video will help you find some advice http://lovetips.tin.vn

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A big thank you to Dr. brown shrine for bringing back my husband after a long period Of time.I never thought that this would work out for me until I met Dr. brown who reunited us.I urge you people who do not know about Dr.brown shrine to be aware of the wonderous things he has done.wheather you are in financial crisis marriage breakdown, looking for love or any problem I urge you to contact Dr. brown on this gmail address

dr.brownspelltemple@gmail.com. or +2348112319776 hurry!

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A big thank you to Dr. brown shrine for bringing back my husband after a long period Of time.I never thought that this would work out for me until I met Dr. brown who reunited us.I urge you people who do not know about Dr.brown shrine to be aware of the wonderous things he has done.wheather you are in financial crisis marriage breakdown, looking for love or any problem I urge you to contact Dr. brown on this gmail address

dr.brownspelltemple@gmail.com. or +2348112319776 hurry!

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If he loves you, he loves you. Mine loves me like we just started dating and we have been together for 7 years. Not everyone is so lucky...

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OMG!!!! Some of the woman out there are very hypocritical, Just because a woman is submissive, does not mean she would let her husband get away with child molesting!!!! -Kelley
How off the wall is that statement.
And just because u are independent, and proud does not mean u will never know love.
I truly think, that to keep ur husbands luv u need to be his best friend. He should never have to go to anyone else to express the way he feels, but u. You should always be his go to gal.
Respecting one another is also key.
Once u cross certain boundaries of respect, u can never get them back, so don't cross them.
Keep the lines of communication open, as his best friend he will have to understand you, and you will also always know that u can go to him.
There is nothing better than knowing that in this dog eat dog world someone's got ur back!!!

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I just came across this blog 2day I had to reply, it might be to late, but some of the answers were just insane

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Not everyone is lucky to have a babysitter you can trust or an available family member to watch the little ones. I'm one of those unlucky ones. My bf would like us to go to a concert in a couple months. I didn't seemed thrilled because we have no one to watch our baby or even afford to pay someone to watch him for a few hours, who by then will be 4 mths old. Everyone has their own lives. Anyhoo communication is the key and helping each other out keeping it 50/50. Sex has to wait a long long time though.

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It's so simple. Be the partner to him that you want him to be to you. If he is worth his salt, he will appreciate it and reciprocate. And remember, it's not tit for tat. It's about being a good partner simply to make them smile and not because you get anything in return.

(All that being said, if, over time, he does not treat you the way you want to be treated then you either need to make your needs/desires more clear or realize that he probably doesn't feel the same concern for your happiness that you feel for his)

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What will he be doing to keep me?

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I totally agree with Tisa! Why the hell would you try to make a man think he is better than you? To bow down to a man is disgraceful. You ones who believe you have to do such much A-- kissing to keep your man. Well you are the types who would stand there and allow that man to do whatever he wants. Including beating or molesting a child. No man comes before me or my children.

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Great post!

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I really want to testify to the good work of Dr. Store for what he has done for me. Couple of years ago, my husband left home after we had little misunderstanding, he never returned, no phone calls, no letters, no emails and no sign of him anywhere and at the same time My daughter got sick so ill, things were so tough for me. I had lost hope, 2 years ago, i met a psychic, he said he would help me, i gave him a try but all to no avail, i lost hope completely. My daughter’s situation got worse each day. Last month, i saw a posting concerning the good works of the Spiritual professional (Dr. Store), i told the great man my problem and he told me that there is nothing to be worried about, and that for me contacting him all my problem was solved. He asked me to provide the spiritual materials needed to cast the spells and of course i did (Bring Lover back, Healing spell and Career spells). In a matter of days, my husband called me and told me he was sorry and that he wants to come back to me and that he would explain everything when he comes back, three days later, i got a call from the new job i applied for with a Real Estate company, right now, my daughter’s is finally healed. I want to thanks DR. Store, for what he has don for me and my family. you can contact him via email: WORLDWIDESUPREMETEMPLE@GMAIL.COM He is the solution to all problem I know you are going to be the next to share your testimony to people.

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Respect him. Treat him better than he deserves. Pray for him. He will in return fall in love with you all over again. Seek God in your marriage and go to marriage seminars even if you have a great marriage. It's a form of insurance and it is alot of fun.

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I think that if your husband truly loves you, he's not going to leave because you don't look nice for him every or you don't cook & clean for him all the time. However, I do think that wives should put forth an effort to look nice, & to make time for their husband. You can't just wallow around in sweatsuits every day & fall straight to sleep once you go to bed. A husband is a woman's rock, & even though I would never depend on my husband 100%, I depend on him to be there for me in GOOD & BAD times. My husband & I have been through some very rough patches in our relationship, yet we still stand united. If your children see how much love there is between their mother & father then they will grow up knowing how to treat their future spouse. You should always make time for your husband, as he should always make time for you.

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First love isn't kept it is either given or not, for who you are or not. On the other hand if you ignore your husband and don't attempt to be apart of the romance you once created then I think you lose a very important part of your life. I do not cook that is my husbands territory, but I do what I can to make it less of a chore by helping out and keeping him company. Creating a life with someone is more about wanting to be with that person. I know my husband wants to be with me and I want to be with him I effort to make him happy and he makes efforts to make me happy... he often takes our boys so i get alone time and I let him get out to have stress free time. but we love to be together either watching tv or snuggling in bed.

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1. One spouse is usually drawn to the other through their strengths, not their weaknesses, so stay strong.

2. Guard your heart and pray for your husband's heart, that he will do the same.

As for guarding your heart. Gary and Barbara Roseberg author a great book, Guard your Heart. They were presenters with Family Life in their Weekend to Remember "get away" we attended a few years ago. The term in this context comes from Proverbs 4:23 - Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it.

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I guess after 34 years of marriage all I can say, is love him, accept him as he is, respect him, ask his advice(that does not mean you have to use it, just ask for it), LOVE HIM, and pray for him. After all 5 of our sons, we have struggles every day, but if you do these things and accept that he is flawed as we all are, you will at least have a fighting chance. Good luck, it isn't always easy, but it is worth it.

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Since my children are grown and their father and I are divorced, I didn't want to keep the romance alive. But now that I have remarried a wonderful man, I put him first in my life, I cook homemade meals-not box, not frozen, but the real from scratch stuff. I also make him a hot breakfast every morning work at 4:45); for those mornings that I am not, I have left homemade biscuits with egg and sausage or bacon, breakfast burritos (yeah, I cheated and bought tortillas) and for the evenings that I work I made TV dinners out of leftovers, "hot pockets" from biscuits and ham or turkey and cheese, that are all heat and eat.
I sometimes leave notes in his lunch box or just do things for him-mow the yard, so he doesn't have to, make his favorite meal, let him watch whatever he wants without nagging about the program, little things like that.

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Omg...sounds like slave labor!

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No, because he works as a mechanic and where I work it is cool, inside and sitting down for the most part. I simply want to make his life a little easier. He makes sure all the bills are paid, the vehicles run, etc. I don't mow and things like that daily, but to make life the best we can have I LOVE to cook and have almost always done things from scratch. My friends at church tell me not to tell their hubbies I cook, but they know. I like the fact my husband brags about having home cooked meals. It helps that I cooked professionally and in quantities large enough to feed an army for over 25 years. I just want HIM to feel I love him as much as he loves me.

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I cook every night (and dessert most nights too) but its because I want to know what I put in my body. My husband hates home cooked meals and would eat McDonalds every day. Should I let him to keep his love?

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Compromise is great. Sometimes just suggest that you are willing to take a night off from being his chef and allow him to take you to McDonalds. You can get a salad or indulge in a burger and fries. I ain't the most beautiful stick model, but it is nice to let him think that it is his idea to go to HIS favorite restaurant, even if it is McD's. He doesn't have to eat there every night, nor do you have to cook every night, but remember marriage is not a dictatorship it all revolves around compromise and willingness. I do things my husband likes to do because I love him and he has done things I like to do-even though they aren't things he likes to do. We dance an intricate dance that works and we have been married 10 years in Feb and were dating for more than two years prior. Not everyone's marriage will work the way mine does and I am glad for that. I am not a Steppford wife or a cardboard cutout of someone else. We had to figure out what kept the romance alive and I'm a tomboy, so since our first date was out fishing at the lake with a BBQ, I like to have romantic bbq's at the lake. It reminds him and me about where we started. (I don't think he knows that, but HE remembered on the 4th it was our 12th anniversary for our first date! and we had a bbq then, just no lake cuz it was HOT-over 100.)

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