What do I do when a dad wants to return?

It can be incredibly hard for a mom to raise a child without any support from the father. But it may be harder to have the father return after a long absence. What would you suggest a mom do if the father of her children has been absent, but now wants to return to their lives?

40  Answers

3 2

It's not about what he wants. He's already demonstrated that his wants came first, hence he abandoned you and the children in the first place. It's about what you, the mother wants, PERIOD. There is nothing sacred in a marriage that the husband abandoned, so to use that term as a reason after he showed he can break his vows is a set-up to again be abandoned. What is sacred is the well being of you, the parent that has been left to soothe the broken heart of the abandoned child(ren). What is sacred is the strength you, the mother has demonstrated to the children to carry the weight of it. Don't abandon yourself. There is nothing sacred about a man who abandons his children.

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0 0

well said. jg

3 14

I totally agree it is not what he wants,my daughter's father has been an absentee dad pretty much from day one he blames my family for hi not being in her life, but he chose not to be, and now that she 18 and grown he suddenly reappearing and becoming part of her life, she keeps minimal contact with him which is her choice, she doesn't even call him dad I know she is an adult and can make her own choices I told if you want to talk to him that is your choice, if you don't then that is your right. I do agree there is nothing sacred about a man who abandons his child/children and I was the one that has been there to mend the wounds of an absentee father, but I cannot tell her not to have communication with her father, he choice to abandon the marriage by breaking vows and by abandoning his child if she was younger and didn't have a say ine the matter it woud be different, but is an adult so I have no say in the matter.

3 0

Hi, yes I am the deadbeat dad you are talking about. I left after seeing my daughter once when she was 6 months. I finally am back in touch with her 15 years later. Yes, anyone who feels the need to bash me, go ahead, I deserve it , I know. The problem is,, I don't know how to try to connect with her,, and it is very complicated. The week I came back to see her (6 months ago), the same week her step-father walked out on her and her mom. This is partially due to me coming back, but everyone says it was long overdue that he left. He was there since she was 3, and for the most part was good to her, but for the last 3-4 years it apparently got worse for my daughter and her mom for various reasons,, some claim her step-father started to have romantic feelings for her, but there are many more reasons it seems, also,, it seems her Mom really did not care much for my daughter as she grew up,, for years her Grandma took care of her,, not her Mom, her Mom was more interested in riding motorcycle, going on trips, etc. than raising her daughter. I am not throwing stones,,, her Mom was there I was not, I know that, just trying to explain correctly so if someone really wants to give advice, they somewhat understand the situation. Also, there seems to be a lot of real stress between her and her Mom, even her Grandma and Aunt said to me,, take her away,, go to the courts and get custody and take her from her Mom. (This is her Mom's mom talking! not my Mom, unfortunately my family did not yet have a chance to meet my daughter as I live oversees with my daughter,, and yes, this was my daughters choice,, I already booked flights and had to cancel as my daughter did not want to visit),, added to all this,, the Xstep Dad is now trying to be a buddy with her,, and she is going back to him, I am not jealous, I wanted none of this to happen,, I only wanted to be there for her,, actually the day he walked out on them (and took most things of value in the apartment) I had invited him and them to dinner,, and he feigned a toothache with my daughter as he dropped her off at the restaurant and when back to steal the stuff the same night,, Honestly this is only part of the story,, Yes,, I am a deadbeat dad,, screwed up big time,, will never be able to fix that,, ever ,,, I know,, I am only trying to figure out how to help her now,, (yes,, I have taken care of past $$$ due,, more than enough, even her Mom said to me,, stop worrying about what you 'owe' us and I continue to support them 100% with all living expenses,, ),, sorry,, forgot to add,, the poor girl is dealing with an extremely rare brain disease,, is treatable,, but requires brain surgery, which is now coming up soon,, so,, please anyone that has any positive advice please give it,, and if you need to bash me,, feel free, I know I deserve it,, trust me,,

5 0

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2 0

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0 0

My Name is BULLY JANE, From USA I wish to share my testimonies with the World about what Dr Keke has just done for me ,This great man brought my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband JACK BULLY, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email (greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared and cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I missed my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr Keke for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. his private website is http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com 1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money. (10)if you want to stop your divorce. (11)if you want to divorce your husband. (12)if you want your wishes to be granted. (13) Pregnancy spell to conceive baby (14)Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage (15)Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart. (16) CURE OR HIV AND OTHER VIRAL DISEASES once again the email address is greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com contact him immediately or contact through his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com

0 0

thank you so much for writing this it's helping me very much right now

0 0

Okay, so my boyfriend left me in what i thought was a mutual break up maybe in early april. We have been fighting a lot and just over protective and it wasn’t healthy. The real reason (I believe) was that I wasn’t in school with him anymore, and we became distant with all the time we had to spend doing other things. he didnt have time for me at all, the only time i would see him was when i was picking him up to take him to a required event or when i was bringing him food. He told me he wanted to be in the musical, so being a supportive girlfriend i pushed him to do it. That made our relationship harder because we had NO time together. So, during play practice, he met a girl a cute girl that i guess he ‘Fell” for. The thing is, this kid had ALWAYS had girlfriends. there is no telling when he falls for someone. he broke up with me and we kept our distance. i let myself go and begged on my knees for him to come back, called and called plenty of times (what he used to do to me when i would want to break up) and he was more sure of the break up than ever by the way i responded. I’m young but I really love him. He was there with me through the unexpected death of my mother and knows my family situation very well. he opened up full heartedly to me aswell. Since we had such an emotional bond, i was distraught he found a new girlfriend. Whats even weirder for me is she has the same name! She was my friend too. i never knew she used a love spell on him until i met with akim online and he helped me pray for my relationship and broke the evil work of the other girl and my boyfriend came back to me begging me to take him back. i am so joyful . please meet prophet akim on his email prayerstosaverelationship@yahoo.com thank you so much.

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in my opinion i grew up with out a dad and it sucks and all these people are wrong its not about what YOU want its about what your children NEED and children need their father. He made a very stupid misstake in leaving you guys and you should tell him he needs to help out with money for the children before he comes back and start out slow like letting him see them once every 2 weeks but take it from me I always wanted to know my dad no matter what. As long as he is not into illegal things it is best for your babies to get to know their dad.

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He left her and the kids plain and simple! She has to maintain a normal life and a life with committed parents! I divorced my ex husband when our kids were 2,and 4. When they were about 8 and 10 he wanted to be a regular part of our lives. He even asked me to re marry him as we were in counseling together. Well, one day he decided to go back to his girlfriend that he claimed he was no longer with. This was hard on my kids to go back to the old routine and I've seen the long lasting effects of our decision to work things out.

0 0

My Name is BULLY JANE, From USA I wish to share my testimonies with the World about what Dr Keke has just done for me ,This great man brought my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband JACK BULLY, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email (greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared and cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I missed my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr Keke for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. his private website is http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com 1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money. (10)if you want to stop your divorce. (11)if you want to divorce your husband. (12)if you want your wishes to be granted. (13) Pregnancy spell to conceive baby (14)Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage (15)Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart. (16) CURE OR HIV AND OTHER VIRAL DISEASES once again the email address is greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com contact him immediately or contact through his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com

0 0

My Name is BULLY JANE, From USA I wish to share my testimonies with the World about what Dr Keke has just done for me ,This great man brought my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband JACK BULLY, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email (greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared and cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I missed my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr Keke for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. his private website is http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com 1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money. (10)if you want to stop your divorce. (11)if you want to divorce your husband. (12)if you want your wishes to be granted. (13) Pregnancy spell to conceive baby (14)Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage (15)Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart. (16) CURE OR HIV AND OTHER VIRAL DISEASES once again the email address is greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com contact him immediately or contact through his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com

2 0

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9 0

Been there, done that!

My daughter, who is now 25, father bailed out when I was almost 3 months pregnant. I let his family know the baby was on it's way and I continued on with my life. His brothers were given pictures and often visited their niece but dad was a no show. He had another child a year after my daughter was born and he was an active participant in his life. He never told his MOTHER he had another child (my daughter was about to turn 5) even though I told her in person and the information came out over thanksgiving dinner when everyone was assembled. I know this information because I was still friends with the brothers.

After 5 years He shows up (he has NEVER seen or supported her) stating he wants to see his daughter. I laughed so hard I almost cried...........was he serious! It was 3 months before I agreed to let him meet her. My daughter took to him and he was great with her. She met her half brother, grand-mom and cousins for the first time. She was excited to have an extended family (my family was very small)and they were excited to meet her.

Dads presence was short lived and unstable because he kept going to jail. I was always honest with my daughter about her father but NEVER spoke ill of him (she would realize it eventually). The great thing that came from meeting him was the family she gained. My daughter is very close with the other side of her family and so am I. The inconsistent nature of her father has developed into the two of them having a NON-RELATIONSHIP. My daughter does not care about him at all because he has had no major impact on her life. His absence has caused him to not see his first grandchild.

My suggestions:
1. if the dad is a jack ass the kids will know it.
2. If dad is not respecting your feelings about his return pray about it and do what feels right for your family.
3. You are going to have to be the strong one when dad breaks your childs heart (he will).
4. Fortify your child with the knowledge that YOU will always be there to love and protect them. 5.Don't respond to the father with anger because it weakens your position (dont open up for the Jedi mind trick).
6.Don't try to influence your child to like or dislike their dad, let the relationship develop on its own
7. YOUR KIDS ARE SMART, YOU HAVE DONE WELL, DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THEM!

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This is exactly I was trying to say!

31 1

Well said Tracie. You sound like an awesome mum!!

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When you say '' You are going to have to be the strong one when dad breaks your childs heart (he will).'' Do you really think that dads who have been absent and then come back and want to be part of child's life really stay`Or do most of these fathers end up leaving again? What are the odds? Thanks

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My two year old daughter actually asked for her Daddy to teach her to play guitar, when she saw an ad for an toddler sized acoustic guitar in Toysrus. (out of nowhere) Then he asked me on FB if he could Skype with her, because he "can't get here to see her"..(he is too busy "Occupying Wall Street)....so I reluctantly agreed, because she was over the moon to talk to her Daddy..(she hadn't in months) The convo went really well, and he behaved himself as promised. He also promised to "call back" an hr later, after dinner/before bed, to say good night, and blew her off. He ignored my calls, emails, and FB msgs. She was really upset and didn't understand why. She sat in front of the laptop for a half and hr, and eventually threw it. (This is a kid who does NOT have tantrums, and knows better) I wrote him back to forget it, he blew a personal relationship, now he's blown a virtual one, and I will NOT let him do this to her. She understands much more than a normal two year old, and was very distraught over why her Daddy didn't want to see her again..why didn't he come back? His priorities are obviously NOT in order. So he can stick to writing letters I guess. Fathers like this make me sick. It breaks my heart, she is already doing pretend imaginary play with dolls..and pretends that they are a mommy and daughter, and asks, "where is your Daddy? I don't know, I don't have a Daddy.."She is only two...:'( I don't talk badly of her father to her, I encourage her to play with the one toy he's bought for her..and continue to try to communicate with him, but he's unreliable, and prefers to be a "self-made media star" in this Occupy world they've built, over being a Daddy to her (and her 6yr old brother from another mother)

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I am so happy to have come upon this thread. I have been driving myself insane with my current situation. My ex husband has come in and out of our daughters life all of her life. She is going to be twelve soon. His absences were sometimes months and sometimes years. He has struggled with drugs since she was approximately one. After finding a vial of crack in her mouth incased in a glass jar at slightly less than 2 years old I have been hesitant to allow him anything but monitored visitation which he has not ever kept up for long. Three years ago he moved 2300 miles away with not so much as a phone call to say he was leaving. This was after marrying a woman who was arrested for prostitution and having dragged their three children up and down my state through evictions and hotels for years. Last summer he calls and says that he has changed his life and would like me to send our daughter to stay with him for the summer 2300 miles away. I declined. He was on probation in his new home state at the time. He called for awhile, visited once and then fell off the radar for the next couple of months. Last November he called again making plans for a Christmas visit. He was unable to keep this visit but showed shortly before New Year's. We met for another monitored visit and then he left to return home. I was served papers to appear before court for neglecting to allow him to exercise his visitation just before February. We are due to appear in court shortly. He moved back in March(to the best of my knowledge) and has been calling more often. However he was arrested in early April and was kept incarcerated until the end of the month. I met with his wife and children during his incarceration to allow her time with her stepsiblings. Neither he or his wife have jobs although he does do the occasional side jobs from Craigslist. He has made no effort to help support her. They live in a suspect neighborhood for lack of a better word with a woman I have never met and her daughter along with their three children in an apartment. I still have not been given the address. He has stood us up for more than half of our scheduled visitation dates. My daughter is petrified she will be forced to go spend time with him and his family without me. He has been told that she is afraid of spending time with him away from me. The longer this goes on though I have noticed a drop in her grades and an increase in her attitude with me, her stepfather(with whom she had a good relationship with prior to this) and her little sister. She was against therapy at first and I was hesitant to force her but as the problems seem to be piling on top of each other I have scheduled therapy for the both of us with sessions with my husband and second daughter to follow. I have been a wreck and the situation has affected my relationship with his mother and sister with whom I have kept in contact with and who have relationships(sort of as the apple did not fall far from the tree minus the drugs) as well as with his second daughter from yet another of his relationships for which we had a prior relationship.

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I love this !

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I think it would depend on the situation. My son is eight and a half and hasn't seen his father since he was 18 months. In his case, I would tell him to go to hell and never come back...that's the emotional side of me. The logical side of me would really have to ponder the situation.

To be honest, it's not as if he has been living the most upstanding model of a lifestyle, so I think even logically I would defer to my emotional answer...

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thanks so much for this and i almost didn't log on. I'm in a similar situation as you.My son last saw his father when he was 18 months he's now 7 and then he came to Cape Town on business and wanted to see my son well after his bedtime and expected me to drive out to him, i told him to GO TO HELL!

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My daughter was 17 when my grandson was born. The father said he wanted to be involved, so he was given the chance. That lasted about 6 months. Then he married his on-again-off-again girlfriend and disappeared. He did Basic Training and got home from that around the time my grandson was a year old. For 3 months or so, we mucked around with him & the new wife having visits a couple times a week. (Mind you...all this time, there was no child support coming in. He's not even on the birth certificate.) Then around the time my grandson was 15 months old, the visits just stopped. (We found out later this was about the time the wife got pregnant herself.)

FOR TWO YEARS there wasn't a word. Then the dad and his wife separated. He contacted my daughter, who let him come visit a few times (with the provision that he was never to be referred to as Daddy, but just as Mommy's friend). The visits lasted 6 weeks or so, and then he was gone again.

My grandson will be 5 next month. His dad has been around MAYBE for a year of that, if you total it all. My daughter has tried letting him return - more than once - and he always bugs out again. Besides this, he has other traits/ habits that she just doesn't want influencing her son.

All of this is to explain her current absolute hardline philosophy of "NOT ON YOUR LIFE!" if he should try to come back again. While he's been schlepping around, living off of one relative after another, having one short-term job after another (not temp, but short-term, as in he gets mad and quits), she has established a stable home of her own and will finish college at the end of this semester. My grandson doesn't "miss" his father, because he's never had one. I'm sure some day he'll realize that there is someone out there who bears the label "father," and I pray that we're able to have the answers he needs when that time comes. But for now...no. The father doesn't get to come back.

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Wow I got chills reading this , this is the exact situation that I was in, almost to a T, being 17 him leaving me for long time love to marry her and him joining the military. This was very very spine chilling reading this, thank you for sharing

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This is very similar to my situation. Thanks for sharing

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Your daughter is a very brave and strong woman the kind which the world needs more of. I wish I had just an ounce of her strength. No matter what misteps we take in life its how we manage along the way that truely defines us.

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im in the same situation. But the father said that he contacted a lawyer, (after 8 years!!!) and said he is taking me to court to see her. She has the best "daddy" in the world. She is my husbands world! I do not want to rip her world apart because her "sperm donor" decides after 8 years he might want to be apart of her life. Yet he won't pay for support, if I want money from him, I have to pay for everything up front, send him the receipts and he will put money into my bank account!!! and apparently the lawyer he spoke to told him he is in the right??!!

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Wow! Tough question! and even tougher situation to live. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to be a single parent, especially when the father (or mother) is estranged. I've watched (and supported) my sister in this situation and a few of my close mom friends. When you're not a single parent, it's SO easy to sit back and judge and criticize and cast shame and blame on them as if they somehow deserve their circumstances. Single dads are often praised while single moms are so often the subject of scandal or pushed around and shamed. It's incredibly tough to be a single parent and a BIG part of what makes it so tough is this: (1) being lonely and overwhelmed and (2) dealing with all the issues that can arise for your child(ren) from the estrangement/abandonment. Every situation is different and some can be incredibly complicated and some can even be dangerous so when the estranged parent tries to return and thinks he just has free access and ability to reconnect and parent as he pleases, there are a number of things to keep in mind. First and foremost, everything should revolve around what is best for the child(ren). Sometimes single parents have so much pain and damage that they've pushed and pushed down for so long to be able to take care of their child(ren) solo without time for themselves to heal comes rushing back and it's EASY to refuse because it's too hard or because you want to make someone else hurt as bad as you do but that's why you should never try to do this alone. Establishing a relationship with a biological parent, no matter how long it's been, is always a good thing SO LONG AS IT IS SAFE but you need help and you need to have VERY strict rules. Sometimes the easiest thing is to get help that is legal in nature just so there is a 3rd party. I would suggest that the returning parent have to really earn privileges and that time with his child(ren) starts slow and is supervised for quite some time. I would also suggest that the child(ren) have some say in the whole thing. Children should NEVER be forced to reconnect or connect with a stranger without plenty of opportunities to understand what is happening, to talk through it, to be prepared and to set the pace. In other words, a single mom can't let her own desire to hurt an ex cloud her ability to do what is best for her child(ren) in the long run BUT she also can't be expected to allow or force her child(ren) to DO ANYTHING that is unsafe or that they aren't ready for. The single parent should also seek support in whatever form possible - family, friends, group therapy...... and should strongly consider family support as well.

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If mom has to decide at birth whether she's in or out, so does dad. If he chose out, well then that's his consequence to suffer. I would not want someone that selfish in my child's life.

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I am a single mother with 2 kids, they haven't seen their father since last January, and now he is returning in the next couple of weeks. The kids are 14 and 11 yrs old and they have been so settled and happy without him despite the fact that they love him and miss him. The have been in touch by text and phone calls. They don't know whether to be happy or excited or scared and anxious at his return. I think they have a mixture of all these emotions. It is heartbreaking to see them so confused. I believe that children should know and love both parents and have both parents involved in their lives and I have continually tried to reassure them that their father really does love them and miss them. I have helped him to try to settle in the nearby town but he has thrown it back in my face twice now. So in a couple of weeks we start the whole process again and it is so unsettling for me and the kids. So in answer to the above question, all situations are different, so therefore all answers will also be different. However, I think the mother who has been left to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts and lives is the one to make the decision as to what is best......best for the KIDS that is. That is the key here, the children are the priority. I try to avoid the kids filling their hearts with all the negative emotions that are associated with this truly awful situation, because that doesn't do anyone any good least of all themselves. Good wishes and lots of love and joy to all the single mothers out there, WE ARE ALL DOING A GREAT JOB!!!!

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I know everyone's situation is different but I'll give you mine in case it helps someone. My biological dad skipped out at birth. The man that raised me is who I call dad. Although everybody has flaws I think I came out pretty good thanks to my parents. I'm pretty convinced it's because they both loved me and they both tried their hardest to be good parents. My mom and dad never talked bad about my biological father to me and they never hid anything from me But thanks to social media and being in contact with his family over the years there was no discrepancy and I soon learned for myself that he was he was irresponsible, immature and on and off prescription drugs. His kids are high and drunk all the time his daughters sleep around very much. Sometimes I wonder who I would have been and what life I would have had if he had been the one to raise me. I think I was pretty lucky to be rescued. I know a lot of people think that it's terrible to have no father but I guess it's up to everyone to decide if it worse to have no father or a bad one.

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Dont let him back... He just validated that he can abandon and abuse and then return so the cycle will continue. Rarely have you seen a transformation of conciousness withthin a person who can emotionally blow a child, nevertheless their own.

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I went back; he put alot of work into my manipulation and when I was finally moved into our house and had my supposed "family" after being abandoned pregnant. I found him in our bed sleeping with another woman.. Funny part is we were buying engagement rings four hours prior. These men who perform these type of behaviors are not playing with a full deck. And he is a normal union guy; blue collar...

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I have been able to succeed greatly in my area of profession due to the complete lack of emotion a supposed "father" has portrayed to my sweet loving toddler who has no idea what is about to hit him emotionally. Im a family law; paralegal and sooon to be attorney. Good luck to ALL THE WOMAN, who had to face my battle. I spend my day in court taking legal rights away from men like this! Thank you. You are my inspiration.

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Renee,
How old is your daughter, and how long have you been raising her without his support? You have to be careful of peoples' motives nowadays, and make decisions in the best interest of the child, not yourself or how you feel. If he wants to be part of her life, I think that's wonderful. But at the same time, he should be helping you out financially. That's what a GOOD father would do, even if you get divorced. If you go through with the divorce, make sure you get child support......too many deadbeat Dads out there. That little girl is his responsibility too! Good luck!

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Cindy, Thanks for the response. She is 9, we have only been seperated for almost 3 months but even when we were together he was always at his friends house. He has never really taken a big role in her life. I guess I have ignored alot of things thinking he would someday do the right thing. I do think it is great if he will step up but my feelings at this point is if he truly was concerend about our daughter then he would be concentrating on getting a place for her to come and getting his life together, not shacking up playing house to someone elses kids.

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Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. It's a woman's instinct to overlook the short-comings of her husband, and hold the marriage together. But it sounds like you're not happy with him, and if you're young, bail out now, while you still have a chance of finding someone to truly make you AND your daughter happy. They're out there! How does your daughter feel about his sudden insterest? You can restrict his visitation rights through the divorce proceedings. Do what's best for your daughter too.

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Funny you say that, I did inform him that he has reached a point in his life where his plan is not working and he needs to find another grown up, more mature approach. Of course he did not like that but oh well! He has now confessed that there is not another woman that he was just wanting to see my reaction to him seeing someone, since I am the one asking for the divorce and the one that made him leave. I told him his games has opened a huge can of worms for him because I did go forward and file for child support through the state and they are starting the process. I was giving him a chance to get on his feet but you can't help someone if they can't help themselves. Of course my daughter misses him and loves him, I just reassure her everyday that he does love her but he is not making wise choices right now. Hde does call her everyday but how hard is it to pick up a phone for 5 minutes?

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Wow. So not only does he have some growing up to do, but he is a liar as well. Marriage is not about playing games, that's high school material. Like you said, being mature is about making the right choices. Sounds like you've make some wise choices, and as long as you don't bad-mouth him in front of your daughter, you are the better parent. She will grow up and realize what a good Mom you are, if she doesn't know that already!

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Im going through the same thing my child father left when he was 4 my. But when he was in his life he still wasn't the best father either so when he left i kinda expected it,and was kinda glad he did because not having a father is bad but having a part-time father is to so i rather him to leave. But now that my son is 8 and plays football he heard about him doing so good on the team and want to play daddy, so i told him no take me to court and he never did which goes to show he really don't want to be in his life for real he just want to be there when he wants to and im not comfortable with that. Im engaged to be married next year and my fiance is the full package, my son calls him dad and consider him as his father so im fine with that.....

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I have a question about my situation. My daughter is 19 months an her father is barely in her life. He claims its because we fight or because I wont let him take my daughter with him but I have good reasons for both. We fight because he never puts her first, an I refuse to let him take her alone because he just got out of jail for his 3rd DUI, he doesnt have a license, his friends along with him are all alcoholics an his friends all do drugs. I dont want my daugher around that. I always manage to let him back in when he comes back because I feel like I dont want my daughter to think that it is my fault that he wasnt in her life or that I didnt try to make it work. I dont know what to honestly do anymore about it. I dont want to shut him out but I dont want her to continue to be hurt an everytime he leaves im the one picking up the pieces. Some advice would be appreciated.

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I am open to any suggestions you have because I am struggling with this same thing. Although my husband and I are in the middle of a seperation and divorce he has not wanted anything to do with our daughter until he got with a new woman. He now has her convinced he is the father of the year.

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My best friend has the exact same issue. Her son's dad was never a big part of their son's life. Two years they have been separated and divorced and he would spend every other Wednesday night with their son--and sometimes not even that. Although it was written in the child support order that he could have their son every other weekend, not ONCE out of two years did he ever spend a weekend with him. Well. The dad up and got married 4 months ago, and what do you know....my friend gets served with child custody papers--he wanted to get primary custody of their son!!! You know, the son he could never even spend a weekend with, the son who's school he has NEVER visited, the son who he could only spend a few Wednesday nights with here and there because any other day of the week (and especially those fun filled weekends) was a bother. Here were his motives, 1) he was tired of paying that hefty child support (he makes a lot of money)n and 2) now that he had a new wife to stay home and take care of the kid, he found the idea of being a dad more paletable. If a father wants to be a part of a childs life, that is the best possible scenerio. But once he has been absent for a while, he's got some proving to do, he's got to earn back that right, because as a parent, my job is to protect my child, even if it means protecting her from her own dad!

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what was the end verdict? i am sure this is what my son's father is trying to do! Because he told me he was filing because he wanted as less contact with me as possible! I said hate to tell you.. but I am Eli's mother and you can not change that.

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i know the feeling. my ex after denying paternity for 16 months of my daughters life and his threats of a restraining order everytime i brought her up made it clear to me that he wanted nothing to do with my " whorebaby " as hes called it on occasion. now hes demanding i tell him otherwise legal action will take place in the matter. and his gf claims hes not a deadbeat cuz he wants access NOW rather WHEN SHE WAS FIRST BORN. he did so many bad things to me when i was pregnant such as smoking CRACK when i was 5 months pregnant 3 feet from me with the windows CLOSED while i was a recovering addict ( ive now been clean for 2 years ), YELLING " WERE DONE " from the inside to the outer echoie part of the bus terminal 3 minutes after i told him i was pregnant, cheating on me while i was pregnant then dumping me for the girl he cheated on me with, all while he threatens me with a restraining order!!! then 16 months later goes on facebook and dont say " hi! hru? " or " hey! long time no chat!! he says " HOWS MY DAUGHTER DOING??? " like after u DENY paternity for 16 months u think ur fucktoy has the right to demand access?!?! i dont fuking think so. i have ppl saying i should give the deadbeat access but i dont know if i should.

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Hi there. I had a wise friend and I was having a hard time with my ex-husband. We would break up and get back together and get back together and so and so on.... So anyways I was really not sure what to do because I had a baby and i really didn't want to be a divorced mom. SO this is what my friend said to me, When you take your trash out to the curb and leave it there to be taken away, would you get that same trash bag and bring it back inside to open the garbage bag and start putting the trash back in your fridge and on your table? Of course I answered no and she told me then why would you consider taking him back? If you put him out to the curb so he can move on and you can do the same why would add drama in your life and bring your bag back in the house? I guess it was a weird comparison, but I am sure you understand what I am trying to say. And remember that we as moms have to put our kids before our own sometimes. You need to show your child or children what a strong person looks like and as far as the dad, take things slow if that is what your thinking. Go on dates and take it slow. Until your sure it is going to work again. The worst thing is to get your children's hopes up and everything with you and your partner goes south and then your kids will be hurt all over again. Hey girlfriend, been there done that and got the t-shirt. I hope this helps. I guess just let me know if this helps, ok? Caroline

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Hi my name is kim, I had my kids at a young age 16,18 two daughters my kids dad went away out of there life when they were 1 an 3, never came back until they were 23 an 27, mind me I never dog talked about him to them, he stomped me out when I was 8 months pregnant with my second child, today I still don't know why, any I let them have that choice to have a relationship with him, so they asked me why an what happened I told them the whole truth, about us, they told me my pass is my pass, they found something they liked about him, he passed away 7years after they meet, I asked them what did he said about what happen he said to them he didn't remember anything cause he was so high, he passed away this June 2013, left them 20,000 a piece, I stepped back broken hearted cause we have so close, they haven't talked to me, one of my daughter's said she was cutting me of never explaining why, Im screwed up in the head, I never seen this coming, I need help, can someone help me explain this to myself, feel like I'm about to have a nervous break down.

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Firstly I would implore you to consider all aspects of the safety of your child(ren). A) is it SAFE for them to be alone with him? B) Do they even KNOW him? C) What is the potential psycological ramifications of their re-acquaintance? If the answer to ANY of these is YES, then you have every right, and it is your JOB to keep them SAFE first. Now with that said, I have had the same or similar experience....and it was ugly. I feel that the only reason my son's father came back around after a 10 month absence/abandonment (at the time of 12 months that my son was alive) was not because he truly wanted to be an involved loving parent, but rather that he wanted to satisfy HIS OWN GUILT. Because whenever anyone would ask about my son, he would feel guilty. Yet I did not, and DO not get child support. He continually is "between jobs" or "HIS life is on the verge of collapse". How easy will it be for him to yet again, abandon you and your family. The kids dont need that and its damaging to them for a lifetime. And if there is not a current court order in place, it would be my instinct to not allow it if possible. If its not possible, then he needs to prove to you beyond a doubt that his motives are pure, he is a GOOD role model, and is financially responsible by paying his support. If he cares he will be willing and understand and will do all those things willfully. Then, and only then would I allow visits and they would be two hours at a time and SUPERVISED! By you if possible. If not then by a court appointed advocate.

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Ok i am 23 yrs old and expecting y first baby and all of sudden my father wants to be in my life after 20 years later what can i do i dont really want him in my life he has a new family but all he does is lie about stuff idk what to do any suggestions

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You are a fake scammer

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Okay, so my boyfriend left me in what i thought was a mutual break up maybe in early april. We have been fighting a lot and just over protective and it wasn’t healthy. The real reason (I believe) was that I wasn’t in school with him anymore, and we became distant with all the time we had to spend doing other things. he didnt have time for me at all, the only time i would see him was when i was picking him up to take him to a required event or when i was bringing him food. He told me he wanted to be in the musical, so being a supportive girlfriend i pushed him to do it. That made our relationship harder because we had NO time together. So, during play practice, he met a girl a cute girl that i guess he ‘Fell” for. The thing is, this kid had ALWAYS had girlfriends. there is no telling when he falls for someone. he broke up with me and we kept our distance. i let myself go and begged on my knees for him to come back, called and called plenty of times (what he used to do to me when i would want to break up) and he was more sure of the break up than ever by the way i responded. I’m young but I really love him. He was there with me through the unexpected death of my mother and knows my family situation very well. he opened up full heartedly to me aswell. Since we had such an emotional bond, i was distraught he found a new girlfriend. Whats even weirder for me is she has the same name! She was my friend too. i never knew she used a love spell on him until i met with akim online and he helped me pray for my relationship and broke the evil work of the other girl and my boyfriend came back to me begging me to take him back. i am so joyful . please meet prophet akim on his email prayerstosaverelationship@yahoo.com thank you so much.

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You are a fake scammer

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My son's father shown himself to me and my son one day after more than 15 years through a social networking site. What I did was thanked him for making me a stronger woman ever. There's no way to turn back the clock. It's too late but of course, he will remain as my son's biological father.

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My name is Weslie Vivian am from Canada i am very happy for the wonderful work Dr bolingo has done for me i got married to my lovely husband last year February and we have a lovely son. things was going well with us and we are living happily. until one day my husband started behaving in a strange manner i could not understand, i was very confused with the way he treat me and my son. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was sad and also frustrated i did not know what to do,i was sick for more than a week because of the divorce. i love him so much he his everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told one of my child hood friend and she told me to contact a spell caster that she has listen to one woman who testify about dr bolingo and she has been hearing about him that i should try him i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing but i just say i should try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr bolingo for the return of my husband to me, he told me that my husband have been taken by another woman. that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want to divorce me. then he told me that has to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and my son, he casted the spell and after 1 day my husband came back home and started apologizing he said that he love me so much that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that Dr bolingo casted on him that make him come back to me,right now am so happy again. thank you Dr bolingo for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. contact him through his mail: bolingospelltemple@gmail.com .contact him now and your problems will be solve for ever.once again thanks to dr bolingo.

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Fake scammer

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Good day i am just so happy and don't know What more i can say in this life? how will i thank high priest oduduosun enough for the good job which he just did for me.i have been searching for long a real spell caster, for me to get who will help me get back my man back but i have been scammed so many times by a lot of people who claim they are spell casters and are not, so i was tired of searching then one morning i visited a neighbor and she introduced me to this man high priest oduduosun and i contacted him and he make a spell for me in the night and after the spell he tells me what to do and i did it and immediately the thing was done he gave me assurance that my wife will start looking for me and pleading for me to accept her back and i was kind of not sure and what make me amaze he said just 2 days after that is when she will come and as i am talking to you people now my wife came back to me exactly the 2nd day as he said and now i am very happy.HIGH PRIEST ODUDUOSUN IS REAL!!!! you can contact high priest oduduosun through this email, highpriestoduduosun@gmail.com

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There is help out there i have always thought life is a complicated issues until i met this great man the Dr Ehi of drudebhuluspelltemple@yahoo.com, it all started when my wife and i had problems it was almost tearing my home apart our relationship was almost non existent until i lost my job all the problems were now compounded and my threatened and filed for divorce i had nothing to do and nowhere to go then i came across a post on the internet on how Dr Ehi of drudebhuluspelltemple@yahoo.com helped one woman who was in need, i never knew all this spell casters are powerful so i decided to give it a shot and behold i was surprised when he told me not to worry that everything will be alright i never believed him i had my doubts because my wife was a very stubborn woman someone very hard to convince so i did everything he asked of me and to my surprise my wife started begging me to accept her back that she didn't know what came over her and i was called back in my place of work and compensated and i was also promoted all thanks to one man Dr Ehi of drudebhuluspelltemple@yahoo.com, if you are ever in problem or in need don't look anywhere else just contact this one man drudebhuluspelltemple@yahoo.com and he will help you out in whatever situation you find yourself again i want to say thank you sir for all you done for me your son from the UK steven mogan.

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My name is Olivia Linda. Bin from Canada, I hear people using the powerful spellcaster named DR Ebolo about how to get ex-lover to return lottery pregnant and married her dream lover and I him to help me cast casts a spell in terms of my ex beloved, I love so much, which left me 2 yrs ago but now my ex is back to me, and we are happily married with 2kids, and I'm so happy for the help I found in you Ebolo DR. My family and I are very happy and we are great life, I am thankful and appreciate the good work of spells, thank you and have a long time to help people in trouble, leave. His e-mail or call him ebolospelltemple@gmail.com +2349033455855

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Am very happy to tell every one to hear my testimony. Am a nurse,this is a story of my love life.I have been married for 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman took my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 4months until i met a post where this man Dr Malaa have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me i just send my info to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids to beg for forguveness and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. You can contact him with this email address for his prayers on {BESTSPELLHOME01@HOTMAIL.COM} Thank you Dr Malaa BESTSPELLHOME01@HOTMAIL.COM

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I've dated my son's dad in July 2014 and we dated for 3 weeks and I got pregnant it was a mistake for nor waiting and we argued and went to ups and downs with him now that my child's born he hasn't seen him my son's a month already now out of no where he texted me saying hey and we talked now he say he has a job and he's going to start giving me money for my son now he comes out telling me "Sometimes i get on my feelings nd i remember all thoses good times i had have with you :( And i be like damm wtf but I really don't know" and I tell him that It's was so hard and asks me that if I still have pictures of us like idk I'm so confused I think about it all day and I cry I need and advice please

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My name is Miley Edith from Netherlands, I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real online spell caster that is powerful and genuine,I was the world's biggest septic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a reliable source Doctor Ebakor a great spell caster helping me retrieving back my relationship with my EX Husband back when he ended and turned back to me for quite a long time now (3 months ago). He performed a spell for me and for 24 hours after the spell had been casted i receive a text from my EX Husband saying that he is sorry for the pains he put me true and the tears that he had caused me and that he will not do such thing to me again in his life again. I was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living together happily than ever before, and He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. I was surprised but later accepted him back me to visit this or Anyone that is in the same line of problem or different one and want to contact him should happily contact him now on this email address { Doctorebakorspelltemple@hotmail.com }. Am so happy that Doctor Ebakor brought Love and Blessings back to me again!!!!..

(1) If you want your ex back. (2) you need a divorce in your relationship (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women & men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband & wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9) Herbal care

Contact Doctor Ebakor Now!!! { Doctorebakorspelltemple@hotmail.com }

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Okay, so my boyfriend left me in what i thought was a mutual break up maybe in early april. We have been fighting a lot and just over protective and it wasn’t healthy. The real reason (I believe) was that I wasn’t in school with him anymore, and we became distant with all the time we had to spend doing other things. he didnt have time for me at all, the only time i would see him was when i was picking him up to take him to a required event or when i was bringing him food. He told me he wanted to be in the musical, so being a supportive girlfriend i pushed him to do it. That made our relationship harder because we had NO time together. So, during play practice, he met a girl a cute girl that i guess he ‘Fell” for. The thing is, this kid had ALWAYS had girlfriends. there is no telling when he falls for someone. he broke up with me and we kept our distance. i let myself go and begged on my knees for him to come back, called and called plenty of times (what he used to do to me when i would want to break up) and he was more sure of the break up than ever by the way i responded. I’m young but I really love him. He was there with me through the unexpected death of my mother and knows my family situation very well. he opened up full heartedly to me aswell. Since we had such an emotional bond, i was distraught he found a new girlfriend. Whats even weirder for me is she has the same name! She was my friend too. i never knew she used a love spell on him until i met with akim online and he helped me pray for my relationship and broke the evil work of the other girl and my boyfriend came back to me begging me to take him back. i am so joyful . please meet prophet akim on his email prayerstosaverelationship@yahoo.com thank you so much.

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i want to thank Dr Zaba for bringing back my ex husband, we broke up for more than 4 month and he told me that he never want to see me in his life again. i love him so much to the extend that i could not do any thing again, i was confused and depress due to the love i had for him.i did everything i could do to have him come back to me but all went in vain. so i decided to contact a spell caster, i did not believe in spell casting i just want to try it may be it would work out for me. i contacted Dr Zaba for help, he told me that he have to cast a love spell on him, i told him to start it. after 3 days my husband called me and started to apologize for leaving me and also he told me that he still love me. i was very happy and i thank Dr Zaba for helping me get back my ex husband back to my hands. his spell is the the greatest all over the world, it was the love spell he cast on my ex that make him come back to me. all you ladies who want back the ex husband back i want you to contact Dr Zaba at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct at (ZABASPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM) OR (Zabaspellhelp@yahoo.com) and get your problems solve or you can call his cell pheno on +2348056391583

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i am Rose from UNITED STATES i was diagnosed with HIV/AIDS for over 12 years which made loose my job and my relationship with my fiance after he discovered that i was having HIV, he departed from me i tried all my best to make him stays with me, but neglected me until a friend of mine on Facebook from Singapore told me Great healer, who will restore my life back with his powerful healing spell, he sent me the email address to contact and i quickly contacted him, and he said my condition can solved, that he will treat the disease immediately only if i can accept trust him and accept his terms and condition, i Agreed because i was so much in need of help by all means, so i did all he want from me and surprisingly on Sunday last week He sent me a text, that i should hurry up to the hospital for a checkup, which i truly did, i confirm from my doctor that i am now ( HIV NEGATIVE) my eyes filled with tears and joy, crying heavily because truly the disease deprived me of many things from my life, This is a Miracle, Please do not en-devour to email drtebe2@gmail.com or whatsapp Dr Tebe on +2348140544262 for healings Thanks

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After being in relationship with him for 3 years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.

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