What are the pros and cons of siblings sharing a room?

Some parents have no choice but to have siblings share a room, while others choose room-sharing think it will form a closer bond between their children. What do you think the upsides and downsides of siblings sharing a room are?

If you have any questions, please check our FAQ page

26  Answers

1 12

I think if you have the space, let each kid have their own room. My boys share because our house is small. They are very close in age (26 months apart) and fight a lot, but they love sharing a room. A few weeks ago, when the fighting got very bad, I separated them for a few days. I put the younger one in my room and let the older one have his own room for a break. He told me it was the worst punishment and cried for an hour the first night. Go figure!

0 26

My 5 & 3 yo share a room... I have told my 5 yo he will be getting his own room but he insists on staying with his sister. They are buddies and usually play well. I figure let them stay together as long as they want to.

0 4

My kids have their own rooms and sleep together anyway! They actually have 3 bedrooms between them and just pick a room to sleep in each night!

8 7

When my daughter was born, we lived in a tiny house and she had to share a bedroom with her older brother. My son, bless his heart, ended up sleeping on the couch for a year, until we could add an extra room for him, because he was in 1st grade and needed his sleep. I laugh now, because there were times when his little sister would stand up and toss toys at him, until he woke up, or scream at the top of her lungs, but at the time, it wasn't funny. Growing up, I shared a room with my sister. She was lil miss suzi homemaker, and me? Well I was the one who collected things like rocks and empty bird nests, etc. There were lots of fights, but in the end...I remember being petrified of thunderstorms, and no matter what took place during the day, my sis was there to hold me tight and get me thru those storms. If they are close in age, I say let them spend time together. If they aren't, then do what you can to give the older one some privacy, even if it's a make shift blanket hung between them.

8 0

As a military family, my girls have done both over the years depending on the house we lived in, as well as their ages at the time. when my oldest was in kindergarten she got her own room... for example. today they are 13 and 10 and forced to share a small room, which i hate. my girls are extremely close and each others best friend but sharing a room means they dont get dressed in their own room for school due to getting up over an hour apart. and my oldest has to have the same bedtime to avoid fighting <luckily shes one who needs the extra sleep>. it really depends on the kids personalities and ages. there were times i had them share a room just so they would have a playroom in the house, which i could ground them from if they didnt follow the rules..... hope this helps.

44 3

I'm the 5th of 6 girls, twins 5 years older, twins 2 years older and sister 4,5 years younger. The eldest twins shared a room, so did the second set of twins and me and the youngest also shared a room. I HATED it with a passion. I considered myself too old to be sharing with my baby sister, regardless of our ages! We fought so much and I always considered her to be the spoilt brat, getting away with so many things! I liked my room tidy and in order, where she couldn't give a damn, and to this day (both around 50) it still is like that. I HATE untidyness, she couldn't care at all, never cleaned up and still doesn't, so even today we can't share easily! In fact, I find it extremely difficult to share with anyone, apart from my own household! I want things a certain way and get extremely annoyed when I get to a cupbourd or room and it's untidy or not the way I left it or want it. I guess I'm just lazy, not wanting to do extra work, wasting time looking for something that's not in it's right place, and I don't like falling over things because it's not in the right place. So I think although it can teach you to be tolerant, to share, be considerate, a lot depends on the gender, age, personality and it doesn't necessarily mean that you can't share something with someone else, maybe just not everything, regardless of whether you shared a room or not. Personally I would not want 2 genders to share a room, regardless of age, . Imo we all need our own space and privacy and that you don't get when sharing a room, and besides there are other ways to teach kids how to share, be tolerant, considerate, etc.

0 5

I have two girls that are 3.5 years apart in age. We have two extra rooms and each girl could have her own room but they share both rooms. One room is used as a bedroom only and the other room is used as a playroom. It seems to work well and helps with bonding (they are very close) but it is really difficult when it comes to cleanup for sure. :)

3 4

My 2 oldest sons have shared a room since they were little. They love it. They get to play together, share their toys, and know which drawers are theirs and help put their clothes up. They even like having a bunk bed in their room. They are best friends almost. But there is a down fall to them sharing their room, if 1 gets in trouble and they lose their TV they both suffer instead of just 1.

12 0

I have 3 kids and only 2 bedrooms for them, so they have to share by necessity. After my youngest was born, she stayed in my oldest daughter's room and my oldest daughter slept in my son's room on a loft bed. When my youngest was old enough for a regular bed (and my oldest wanted her privacy), we switched the girls. My son is now 8 and so far doesn't mind having his little sister sleep in his room. Her toys are another matter ;) Most of both girls things are in my oldest's room. Eventually we may have to move the girls into one room, but so far it's working OK.

5 0

I have 3 kids and they all have their own room always have. Made for easier bedtimes to.

0 13

Deffinately formed a closer bond between my two boys, only one room to clear up rather than two, they build dens in there together and actually want to go to there room when sent. The down side would have to be they dont always fall asleep at the same time so the 2yr old will wake up the 4 yr old. We solved this by putting them to bed at different times. I think it is a great idea and I know I would have had a closer bond with my siblings had we been encouraged to share a room, I am so pleased to be able to give this choice to them now. VB

0 14

I don't have children, but I shared a room with my younger sister for 18 years and hated it most of the time. We are only 18 months apart and fought like cats and dogs. We still argue if we're together too long.

The only time I appreciated sharing a room was when was ten years old and our mom was diagnosed with leukemia. For the two months she was in the hospital, my sister and I slept in our parents' bed while our dad slept in the living room. I valued comforting my sister when she was upset about our mom.

If you have the space, let your children keep their own rooms. In Indiana, it is illegal for siblings of the opposite sex over the age of five to share a room, but I understand if you can't afford the space.

One last piece of advice: If you can plan it, wait to have a second child until the older one is at least three years old. It will help immensely.

3 0

Sharing is important in one's life...but if there is space and they desire to have separate rooms then so be it but if not then sharing should not bring harm but more positives in the long run......cleaning and the weight in keeping the room clean is an issue you cant't escape..

8 0

It depends a lot on the size of your house and the ages and sex of the children. Once they are school age, I don't think boys and girls should have the same rooms. Sometimes, if bedrooms are in short supply and the house is small, the family benefits from the sharing of bedrooms by children in order to use one room as a den or TV room. The entire family can gather there, playing games, etc. If children share a room, it is still important that each get a place that is just THEIR space - this might not be any more than a couple of shelves on the wall over each bed. Anything on the shelves (collections, favorite books, etc) is off limits to others. When the bedroom is shared, it is mostly used for sleeping, and the playing is done in the family space which is better for family bonding anyway.

0 0

My two kids share a room, my daughter is 3.5 and my son just turned 2. At the beginning putting them to bed was a bit of a challenge because we would try to put them to bed seperately so they wouldn't disturb each other. Then we decided to put them up together and it has worked brilliantly. They love being together and find comfort in knowing they have each other in the room. A couple of weeks ago my mam came for a visit and my daughter wanted to stay with her in the spare room, we went through the bedtime routine and as I was pretending to tuck my daughter into bed she snuck out and went to nanna's room. Everything was fine for an hour until my daughter went in to use the bathroom. That's when he woke up and realised she wasn't in the room. He wouldn't settle again until she went back to her own bed and waited until he was asleep again before sneaking back to nanas room again. We do have another bedroom but for the moment they are happy being together. It's great to hear them talking to each other when they wake in the mornings..

0 0

I think that you shouldn't force kids to share a room because my 2 daughters which are 10 and 9 share a room and almost all parents think that the room will get cleaned faster but it dosnt sharing a room between siblings is a bad idea because you get no privacy and instead of making them closer it pulls them apart and makes it harder for us mums and dads. I am seriously about to move to a new house so that they don't have to share a room. Live would be so much easier for us mums and dads if our kids had privacy I think most of the mums and out there would agree when i say ''no bunk beds no fights". Sorry for those who think that sharing a room is a good idea there was a few people that said " if they like it then let them share it" but it's not that simple because I think we can all agree that your children don't always tell you everything that happening in there life or what there doing on there laptops and phones and iPads so maybe there not telling you that they don't like like my kids once I was going to go clean the girls room because they wouldn't clean it and it was messy and then I heard them talking and they said " I really want to have my own room but mum won't let me" it could be the same with you especially the millitary family that answered below please think about it because I am determined to convince the government to make a world wide law that kids can not share a room it sounds silly but what if you put yourself in your kids shoes and then walk around then you'll see how hard live can Beas a kid with. Bully's and parents and strangers and scary shows gives them night mares I know you think it sounds sill and if you ever do anything to your kids think about walking in there shoes also if your afraid to make the big change its like being scared of the dark if your scared of the darkness that could happen think of that sun shining bright and then I hope you will come through
And if your not sure what your kids want go and ask them your the parent

56 2

Upsides they have a buddy, they bond, they learn to share, and they have someone to help them not be afraid at night. Downsides space, fights, when some has a friend or boyfriend over, and shutting door wanting privacy. I have experience from childhood since my kids don't have to share a room

123 0

Pros: The older one is a neatnik so she makes her younger sister clean her side of the room. I love hearing them giggling together late at night and the younger one is no longer afraid of the dark.
Cons: The younger one is ready for bed and ready to wake hours before her sister. Someone is always disturbing someone else's sleep. Lack of privacy for my older daughter.

2,093 0

We choose to share rooms. Right now, our girls in one room and our boys in another. Up until recently though, the youngest was in with my husband and me, and the three older children were in one room together. We have enough rooms that everybody could have their own room we wanted. However, our kids like sharing rooms. It's practical since the vast majority of toys, books and clothes are used by more than one child, and since the kids all go to bed at the same time.

60 20

I would like to point out that most families through the ages have "forced" children to share rooms because that's the way it worked.
I grew up in a family of 7. I'm #2 and my sister is #7. I've shared a room with all of my siblings. I was 10 when my sister was born and we shared a room until I was 19 (my brother moved out and I got his room). I always shared a room with the "baby". My youngest brother was my favorite to share with because he was so sweet.
My parents spent a lot of time moving the boys around. The oldest was just a pill to share a room with. They read "The Color Code" by Taylor Hartman and it was the last time they had to move the boys. Brother 1 got his own room. Brothers 2 and 3 shared, as did 4 and 5. Serious drop in quarreling.
My 2 daughters share a room and when Brother comes, he will have his own room (unless we have another boy). The girls are 20 months apart and have been sharing for almost 2 years. They fight over their respective toys, space, and everything. They also love to help each other. They even bring toys, shoes, clothes, blankets to each other (even if the other sister gets annoyed).
Just remember the kids are individuals. Sharing a room won't change that. If they need a little quiet time, help the roommate respect that. Why not help your kids learn that before college/marriage/co-habitation or whatever?

353 0

I hated sharing a room with my sister, but that was only because she was filthy and sloppy and never cleaned and I was a clean freak. We were also 5 years apart. I was so happy she was out of the house by the time I was in Middle school.

I think it just depends on the siblings. Some get along great and can share and others it is really hard.

1 0

My daughter is 10 and son is almost 8 but they are great friends because of sharing a room since my son was 2. They actually have always had their own rooms but we actually had to get a bunk bed because they like to sleep in the same room. Bad thing is they always wake eachother up when they need to pee or get up too early and the other ends up with not enough sleep. I put a rule down and said if you two want to sleep in the same room then no waking eachother up!

216 0

My oldest is 14 so he has his own room. My other two are 4 and 3 and they share a room.
They get comfort by having each other in the room but the con is that one will not go to sleep without the other.

68 7

I have three girls. Since the beginning the twins have shared a room. My older daughter is only 13 mos older. Over the years she has had her own room and shared a room with her sisters. Currently we have enough rooms for bedrooms and a playroom. When we moved here we we let them choose what to do as far as room arrangements. They choose to share a room (they are 7 and 8 now). It may not last forever, but for now it works for everyone.

28 1

Mine share right now, but it's b/c our house is small. They are 3 years and 10 months, both boys. The one thing that sucks is when one of them wakes up crying, b/c of a nightmare, needs a drink, fell out of bed, wet the bed, is sick, etc. then both of them are awake. You might be able to take care of an issue and get that child back to sleep, but then both of them are awake and now you have two issues instead of one... If we had more room, they would definitely be in separate rooms.

3 9

-it will form a closer bond between the kids
-the elder would at least learn to be responsible for the younger
-the younger would learn how to respect the elder
-they would learn how to watch for each other especially if their parents are not around
-they would learn to be responsible for each other
-as i told my husband, i want my two boys to share room until they grow old to build bond. i'd rather have them as partners-in-crime than for them to grow apart because of their 8year age gap. [same thing happened with him and his brother]
-it's overwhelming to evesdrop when they talk to each other before going to sleep or when they wake up in the morning, when they share their stories with each other, it's good for them.
-plus it's economical: you will only turn on 1 AC and one lamp. you get to clean only one room [but twice the mess. lol]

-i don't know yet

0 0

my kids do not sleep in their own room in my current house. they had their own room in the previous house. both are used to sleeping in the same room but not next to each other...they will fight if they do. i used to share room with my sister and that didn't work out - personality differences. i shared room with my brother instead and we shared until age 10 or 11 - when my brother decided he was too old to share with me. it was hard at first but we both got used to being alone in the end. we had our own rooms to "change" clothes and have privacy when we want but at night we liked to sleep in the same room - him on the floor and me on the bed as a comfort thing. at that time we were very close and he taught me to play sports, climb trees...

0 0

I have three boys and my two younger share a room. I believe this has given them a closer bond and has taught them to share. It makes it easier for night routine as well. Once they are older and are in need of their own space we can move my oldest downstairs. The only con right now is if one does wake up early or in the middle of the night they are both up.

5 3

I have 7 year old BBG triplets in a 2 bedroom house. Their room is crammed with the bunkbeds for the boys, her bed and 2 dressers and the closet is worthlessly tiny. What am I going to do?????? Because of our financial situation, we're probably going to be in this house for a couple of years or more. We are limited on where to put the dressers because of the windows and the beds because of the teeny tiny air vent on the floor. I guess my option is to string up a curtain somewhere. I feel so guilty because they don't have the space they need. I hate this house so much, and I hate coming home at the end of the day, I feel so trapped. We don't even have a back yard in our little corner lot. I hate that I feel so envious of all the other happy people with extra bedrooms, a yard to play in, and bathroom you can actually fit in and doesn't double as a hallway. And don't get me started on all those home buying shows on HGTV about a couple with a new baby is now outgrowing 1500 sq feet... That's almost double what we have!!! I know I should be grateful that we have a roof over our heads that's in good shape and we can afford (actually, it needs a new roof now) and there are so many people worse off than us... but I'm so frustrated I can't stand it!!!!! :(

View More

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms