When should a single mom tell her child why their dad's not there?

Single mothers face a range of unique questions, one of the most sensitive being; when do you tell your child why their dad isn't there?

40  Answers

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There is an age appropriate way to tell a child anything. You have to know what works best for you child. Whatever you do, don't lie. Sometimes we think we should have the answer to all our children's questions but it is just as powerful letting them know what you don't know. My kids used to ask me why their dad didn't take them out or pick them up and instead of lying or venting I said, "I don't know honey. Maybe you should ask him next time he calls." Eventually they learned who their dad was without me having to say a anything about him. His actions spoke more loudly than I ever could.

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What a great answer! My dad wasn't in my life, and my Mom made sure it stayed that way. She never had a good thing to say about him, and in "brainwashing" technique, would daily remind us what a horrible character he was. That was so bad for our self-esteem. We thought we did something wrong. We are back in touch with him now, but it is weird. No bad feelings, just not much of a connection. He's changed since we were little, and it's good. But, growing up being pitted against your parents is no way to grow up healthy. Thanks for your wisdom to others!

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im in love with this lady and wished their was more like her.. absolutely right!! we use this with my partners daughter about her mother. we refuse to have conversations about the mum. so it got flogged off as i dont know, by accident. shes now 9 and in contact with her mum on a semi regular basis. kids have the right for answers to their questions but sometimes they need to figure things out for themselves.

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Great answer!! This has been my plan all along with my daughter, who is only 18 months old.

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Yeah, I've always kept it open and positive about him even though he is actually very selfish and materialistic. We broke up before I found out I was pregnant. It's not my daughters fault that this situation is her life, but I have never lied and said bad things about him to her. She is now 10 and is now getting more understanding of our situation. She said to me" mum, poppa is my dad aye?" she finally understands and I didn't have to say a bad word about him, his actions speak louder. My dad treats her how a father is supposed to be. So her understanding is even greater.

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You are absolutly right, wish my situation would have worked out this easy. Glad your children learned it the way they did. Good for them and it will make them stronger people for it when they become adults. God bless all of you.

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My daughter is almost 4 and this is what I do too. She likes Dad sometimes, not so much other times. She has kinda asked me questions before but nothing recently. I won't lie to her and when she is old enough to know everything and she can ask me about specifics .. I'll tell her everything. She deserves to know from me before someone else tells her a screwiee version of what happened to Dad and me.

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That would be a great answer but I dont think my daughter will ever get to even speak to her father. He is in another state and won't have any sort of contact with use by his own choice. Kind of hard to not talk badly about that. I will have to explain it to her somehow that her father won't give us a number and won't call to check on her or anything. Terribly sad and hate for the day to come!

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I will be reaching this situation very soon. My daughter is now 2 years old and as much as she has a father figure with her right now, which is her grandfather, there will come a time where she will ask me questions like, "Why is my dad not with us?""Doesn't my daddy love me?" Ever since I found out I was pregnant with her, and things were not working ok with her father, I know my stand on this is, I don't want a temporary father for my child. It will tear my heart into pieces just thinking of many situations on wherein my child will feel incomplete because she has no complete set of parents. I honestly can't figure out still what to tell her, but I know in my heart, my child deserves the truth, I have nothing to hide from her. It's only a matter of time how soon can she understand.

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"My kids used to ask me why their dad didn't take them out or pick them up and instead of lying or venting I said, "I don't know honey. Maybe you should ask him next time he calls." Eventually they learned who their dad was without me having to say a anything about him. His actions spoke more loudly than I ever could." Your comment to your kids was great for a mother to give. However, children as they grow learn that there are many chldren like them where only mothers are in the homes and fathers are out. They recognize the pattern and learn that rarely do fathers get custody of their children in divorces and other relationships. They learn that the laws favor mothers over the fathers, and in turn, learn fathers have a new and separate life to live which take up their time. You see, as mothers take up new husbands or boyfriends the children understand that their fathers deserve the same. Child ownership given to the mothers let the children know they must stay with their mothers. Many children have tried to go and live with their fathers only to find out how powerful and forciful our legal system is and how much powerful mothers are over fathers. In a way, children are slaves to the mothers until they are not wanted. My point is that children see what goes on in the home during their years of growing. They know what took place and by whom. They become more intelligent over the years, and if mothers poison them--they become bitter towards the fathers. A form of Stockholm syndrome develops over time. "Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors," The fathers can always do something to help his children, but many walk away over time to take care of new responisbilities/children whom they may be living with. Everyone can help.

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my dad walked out on me and my mum i gave him a chance and he blew it then when i found out i was pregnant i gave him another chance and he blew that aswell so i told him too stay outa mine and my daughters life my daughters dad dosent wana know her but she is too young too understand why her bio dad is not there as far as she is concerned my boyfriend is her dad and when she is old enough if she wants too know anything about her life i will tell her but untill then my boyfriend is her dad and thats how its gona stay

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For all you Moms out there that keep your children from their Fathers perhaps you should join a father's rights group and see the other side. I have been in a 5 year custody battle to see my daughter in Germany where dogs have more rights than Fathers. I have moved to Germany to be with my kid - given up my career in NYC been thru 7 lawyers 3 judges 5 court appearances and only have 3 hours Tuesday and Saturday. No over nights no vacations zero — now My daughter has been brainwashed that she can’t stay with me. The world court ruled against Germany for human rights violation towards fathers in 2010-- Just this month Germany finally agreed they have to bring their laws into the right way. What no one ever talks about about is this is run by the lawyers for money — the judges are in bed with the system.. Mothers are pawns in their money making scheme.. They use you to make their fortune — Is is sad because if Fathers got %50 at the start They would be out of work very fast. In Germany they are setting up the new law where every Father has to take every mother to court — The courts will be plugged up for years. But please understand the Lawyers are buddies with the politicians and they are making sure they get their last EU’s before the system change and they will have to reinvent their business model. With my ex I always says “ Just flip the rights . The visitaion.” Being German and believing in paper she would agree to this only if a judge would rule this way, But her lawyer and the judge are buddies so never going to happen. In closing I am a good father pay every month see her on the assigned days , bought a house with a big garden – I believed in the system and humanity. The system has drained me financially and emotionally and has done my daughter no good. My daughter and I are very close. We are defeated at every turn . So try stepping into some Father’s shoes for a while. I hope posting this helps some child that misses her father. Fred

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Hey this kind of answered some of the questions I didnt know how to answer. Baby daddy as passed on a month ago, he was not part of child's life he was literally forced by his parents to come see my daughter. We would travel from SA to his home country just to spend christmas with his family and he was never home nor touched her. Last saw n head from him 3yrs ago before he passed on. I took my daughter to the funeral as his parents asked me to bring her travelled with her and tried to explain what was happening. She was hurt and still is but taking her for therapy as she blames me for his death cs she still has a memory of me shouting at him asking him why he did not buy her a gift yet he came to her birthday and everyone brought gifts except for him. I am so worried that I have nothing wonderful to say about this guy and everyone around us knows how he treated me so bad and neglected me with my child. I feel obliged to act all nice now that he is gone just to keep the peace. What do I do, do I tell my child the truth?

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I always avoided saying anything negative about my ex to my daughter. That's not to say that I didn't think it, but she didn't pick her parents, she didn't ask to be in this situation, & it's not fair to influence her thoughts about him. She's an intelligent girl & she'll decide for herself. She doesn't need to be spoon fed negativity (even if it is true). There are classes aimed at divocing parents & some divorce courts require parents to take it. I took it but my ex didn't. The one I took was called "For the kids sake", & the majority of the class was about how parents should never place children in the middle, & should never speak badly of the other parent to the child or in the child's pressence. However, when you're in a situation where Dad isn't around it's not so simple. Eventually the child will ask why. I always waited for my daughter to ask the questions & tried to answer in a neutral way & without any anger (hard to do!). For my situation, I simply told her that just because he stopped loving me didn't mean he stopped loving her - that he still loves her in his own way. I told her that my ex & I were divorced, but he didn't divorce her & is still very much her Dad. It's a complicated situation for us, but I always told her to save her questions up & maybe one day she'd get the chance to ask them herself. She has a stepdad that has been in her life since she was 5, & in her eyes he's Daddy because he's the one who has been there every day - through nightmares, ER visits, school problems, etc. She's old enough now that she realizes it takes more to be a Dad than genetics - it takes genuine demonstrations of love & devotion. When she speaks of her biological Father she refers to him by his first name (I still call him her "dad"). It's a very difficult & sad situation to be in, but if your child's Father has chosen not to be a part of your child's life you have to know in your heart that in the long run it's best for your child. Eventually a man will come along who will love the both of you the way you both deserve to be loved.

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My ex husband made the choice to leave. When they ask, I just tell them that their dad wanted to live in the city (true). They have asked why, and I tell them that they have to ask their dad for that answer, which I don't think they ever have. It may be viewed as negative, but I just can't bring myself to tell them lies. But I only tell them that one fact, and beyond that I say I don't know why, and leave it to him to explain why he left. I

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Oops, I misunderstood the question - I thought it said what should you tell the children. When they start asking, and make the information age appropriate. Also keep it simple, without too many details. If they want more details, the questions will keep coming and get more detailed as to the answers they are looking for. In my experience, often they are looking for a simple one sentence answer. I first started answering this question for my oldest when she was about 3 1/2, and my son was just over two; my youngest was still a baby. It still comes up every once in awhile, even though it has been 5 yrs. Those questions are hard but it is necessary to keep answering them - I think it helps with their overall security and as they continue to get older the way they understand things and process information changes. My kids were 3, 21 months, and 2 weeks. They are now 8, almost 7, and 5.

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i agree with most everything kelly said. even though my daughter couldn't play outside with only her sister present and things like that (due to the kidnapping threats), everything was not all bleakness. she is 17 now and i still let her know that she had nothing to do with her father leaving. explaining why daddy 'doesn't love me' is so heartbreaking but what you say really depends on the situation. she knows he is an alcoholic (and according to the grape vine, is now a drug fiend) and that addiction causes him to think and act irresponsibly and selfishly. unfortunately for the other child, she has a brother who also was abandoned by their father so that reinforces for her that her father's actions have nothing to do with her and she did nothing wrong. the one thing i cannot fault him on is the way he treated the kids, even my oldest daughter. he treated her exactly how he treated his own child, and he treated both of them as if they were treasured princesses. my oldest remembers it and she agrees with me whenever i point that out to my youngest. just as i let them know he was a hard worker. even when you have to point out a bad and dangerous trait, you can still share what was good about their father. (much as you hate the taste of those words in your mouth. lol)

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If you want to encourage open communication with your child, you need to be honest, but do it age appropriately and be as diplomatic as possible. If your ex is a total toadsnot, just be honest and tell your child sometimes people find they value different things in life and sometimes those differences are something you can't bridge. Let them figure out themselves what important values they think are different between the two of you. They will eventually. Model the values you want to pass on to your child, don't preach and tell them all about it. "He is a lying sob" isn't going to be nearly as healthy or as effective as simply modeling being honest and committed in your own relationships and telling them that Daddy has found that he doesn't like being married to you and letting them ask HIM why if that is the problem, or that he wanted to live somewhere else and again let Him offer the explanations for his behavior. Or that daddy has a hard time following rules if he is in jail or whatever. Never give them more information than they ask for and the details of what happened and why are not important unless they ask. Always remember that kids have the right to love and be loved by both parents and to make their own judgements based on what they see and experience with their parents. Give them the truth but let them figure out for themselves what they think and how they feel about the other parent, never put them in the middle. And again 'age appropriate' is important. Daddy is going to live somewhere else now might be appropriate for a todler and all the information they need unless they ask for more. And if they do keep those answers simple too. Why? Because we don't think it is good to be fighting all the time, etc. True but simple and no more information than they ask for. When they are capable of asking more complex questions then they are probably capable of accepting more complex answers....

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I AM FINALLY FREE FROM FINANCIAL BONDAGE THANKS TO MOORE LOAN COMPANY (mooreloancompany@yahoo.com). Good day everyone,I can’t hide this great testimony that took place in my life I will love everyone to know it and be a partaker of this, that is why I want to share it to the whole world by placing this advert on classifieds, I am Mrs Karen Brown by name, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee United State, I want to thank ROBBINSON MOORE for his kindness upon my family life, I never knew that there is still a sincere and trustworthy lender like this on the internet and on earth. Just some days I was in search for a loan of $ 100,000.00, As I was running out of money for feeding, School fees, My business was really going out of capital and my rent. I was scammed about $15,000.00 dollars and I decided not to involve my self in such business again. But a Friend of mine introduced me to a loan firm due to my appearance and doings and also my complains to her. And I told her that I am not interested in any loan deal anymore but she told me that there is still a sincere lender who she will recommend me to, And she gave me the details of this man who is called MOORE ROBBINSON. And I really put a trial and I am most greatful and lucky today, I was given a loan amount of $95,000,00 Dollars by this great firm MOORE LOAN COMPANY. If you arew in need of a genuine, Sincere, durable and a truth worthy loan lender or financial assistance and also you know you can be reliable and trusted, capable of paying back at the due / duration time of the funds I will advice you to send your contact to them via email @[ mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493 . And you will be free from scams on the internet. Please I am begging everyone on earth to help me thank Mr ROBBINSON MOORE. And I ill always being sharing this great surprise and testimony that happened in my life everyday to all that need loans. Contact them now if you are in need of a loan: AS THEY ARE EFFICIENT,DYNAMIC AND RELAIBLE.....Again there contact email [mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493..

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I too am in this situation and We(parent/child) see a therapist that deals with children, for this very reason. The time to start talking about it, is when your child asks. I would caution to be very careful and question what they REALLY WANT to know. At a young age, 5 yrs or so, I told her that her Dad lives in another state and is not able to see her but loves her very much. She is now 10 and I have told her that he loves her but is not able to make good/safe choice for himself or for her, so Mommy has had to make the decision to keep us distant. Of course my situation is a choice on my part, as the father, is not of good sound mind and is a user of drugs and alcohol and the truth is that he DOESN'T make good choices. I will become clearer as she gets older but one thing I was told never to do, is talk poorly of her father, as attacking him is like attacking her DNA, as he is a part of who she is, good or bad. Keep talking with the child and processing as much as he/she needs to, so that they do not carry the burdon of thinking it was their fault. Also finding a safeand constant male figure, is a great idea, but I emphasize, safe and constant. This would be best as a relative and not a boyfriend. Some one commited to her life.

7
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I really like your input. My daughter is 10 months old and the I had to make the choice of her father not being able to be in her life because his life style and mentality is the same as yours. But everyday I ask myself if I have made the right decission by following my gut and keeping him out of the picture. Everyday I am assured that I have by him not even trying to be in her life. But it still hurts and it's still super hard everyday to look at my daughter and know that she wont have a father. And that kills me becasue my father died when I was 12 and I know how hard it is sometimes. But thank you again! I have a better idea of how to go about the questions in the years to come when she starts to realize that some kids have their dads in the picture!

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I AM FINALLY FREE FROM FINANCIAL BONDAGE THANKS TO MOORE LOAN COMPANY (mooreloancompany@yahoo.com). Good day everyone,I can’t hide this great testimony that took place in my life I will love everyone to know it and be a partaker of this, that is why I want to share it to the whole world by placing this advert on classifieds, I am Mrs Karen Brown by name, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee United State, I want to thank ROBBINSON MOORE for his kindness upon my family life, I never knew that there is still a sincere and trustworthy lender like this on the internet and on earth. Just some days I was in search for a loan of $ 100,000.00, As I was running out of money for feeding, School fees, My business was really going out of capital and my rent. I was scammed about $15,000.00 dollars and I decided not to involve my self in such business again. But a Friend of mine introduced me to a loan firm due to my appearance and doings and also my complains to her. And I told her that I am not interested in any loan deal anymore but she told me that there is still a sincere lender who she will recommend me to, And she gave me the details of this man who is called MOORE ROBBINSON. And I really put a trial and I am most greatful and lucky today, I was given a loan amount of $95,000,00 Dollars by this great firm MOORE LOAN COMPANY. If you arew in need of a genuine, Sincere, durable and a truth worthy loan lender or financial assistance and also you know you can be reliable and trusted, capable of paying back at the due / duration time of the funds I will advice you to send your contact to them via email @[ mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493 . And you will be free from scams on the internet. Please I am begging everyone on earth to help me thank Mr ROBBINSON MOORE. And I ill always being sharing this great surprise and testimony that happened in my life everyday to all that need loans. Contact them now if you are in need of a loan: AS THEY ARE EFFICIENT,DYNAMIC AND RELAIBLE.....Again there contact email [mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493..

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I have a 10 year old who's bio dad is not around. When she asked why he wasn't there I explained that he was making decisions that aren't good for her to be around. That he is a good person, but that right now, it's not a good idea for her to be exposed to the decisions he is making. About a year after this she came to me and asked if he was involved with drugs. He is and I told her yes, while stressing that he is an addict and so he has a disease that makes it hard to stop making these bad decisions. Now, I go to NA meetings and she knows this about me so for me to tell her that wasn't a big shock or anything. I am of the opinion that if a child asks a question, they are prepared for an age appropriate answer. She asks about him sometimes and I always give her the most accurate and age appropriate answer that I can. I don't think that lying would make things better.

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im pretty much in the same boat. my sons father has been in and out of his life and really bad on drughs. hes keeps asking me y his daddy doesnt love him anymore. i told him that he does but he needs to help himself before he can be there for him. my son is only 4 but he will understand more when he is older.

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My daughter is 4 1/2. Her biological father is a rare part of her life. Whenever she wants to know why he hasn't come to get her I ask her if she wants to call him and see.
I feel that it is important to pay attention to how mentally developed your child is. I haven't discussed with her the full reason that he is gone. But I do try to not belittle him around her. My family is also working on this problem, they feel as though he doesn't deserve to see her. While I am blessed to have a strong support system I am thankful that I don't have to deal with telling her the whole reason yet. Its not something I think she can handle yet. I do think that @ 4 she is old enough to start asking him why he's not around, But as I have read before it is important that I don't power-play with her. I make sure that she has an oppertunity to talk to him when she wants. But I also don't force her into it.

Hope that helps.

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My daughter is also 4 and I am pretty much in the same boat you are. However my little girl has come to ask me if Daddy is am addict. Shes 4 where did she learn that? I have always told him he is welcome too come see her as often as he likes and he refuses saying I'm keeping our daughter from him. He lives 1.7 miles from us, he drives passed our place 2x daily. He recently moved in with his new gf who was released from jail in jan after being there 1 yr for a meth charge. She has 2 girls she doesn't have custody of. None of this bothers me because I know what she is getting into. He's abusive and most definitely a sociopath. So for me this is all great. Having her in the picture means he'll really leave me alone. I'm struggling with my baby girl asking why sad doesn't love us. I always make sure to tell her that her daddy and I love her very much however daddy doesn't make good choices and his bad choices led him to another path in his life he met somebody else and that's where you'd rather be but that doesn't mean that he's on her daddy she told me at her nanas her daddy's mom told her if she would have a new mommy and that her new mommy has two little girls that are just wonderful when she told me that I cut off all contact with the entire family and hadn't seen them since he seen her for all of an hour since Christmas Eve his choice

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My step daughter who is 4½ is also going thru the same thing right now. Her mother walked outwhen she was only a year old. My boyfriend has been raising her on his own till I came along April of last year. Her mother only comes around when its convenient to her or certain occasions to show off. She never calls to see how she's doing, see if she needs anything etc etc. She walked out cause she realized she wasn't ready to be a mom. I found this out from one of her friends. Now my daughter asks questions why her mommy left, why she never comes around, why she never calls. I try so hard to speak nice words about her. My boyfriend wants to so badly to tell her the truth cause we don't like lying to her since were trying to teach her lying is bad. Its like were stuck between a rock & hard place. What should we do?? * Forgot to mention this. Only thing she knows is its her mom. She doesn't know who she is. She's a stranger to her. I keep telling her that's ur mom and its ok. Breaks my heart I have to force her to go when she wants to stay home with me. I make her go so it doesn't cause fighting & arguing between my boyfriend and his ex then resulting in us fighting.

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This may not come up at all a lot depends on when you split up or if the child was born after the relationship ended. I would not plan an age but be prepared to answer any questions with honesty and gentleness. Explaining that it is not their fault. Don't go into too much detail and if the relationship is still difficult or impossible because of violence then tread carefully. Children will grow up happy and secure with one loving parent. and be kind to yourself too people make mistakes and being in a relationship that ends badly is a common experience. BE Honest, BE gentle. BE Kind to yourself.

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I AM FINALLY FREE FROM FINANCIAL BONDAGE THANKS TO MOORE LOAN COMPANY (mooreloancompany@yahoo.com). Good day everyone,I can’t hide this great testimony that took place in my life I will love everyone to know it and be a partaker of this, that is why I want to share it to the whole world by placing this advert on classifieds, I am Mrs Karen Brown by name, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee United State, I want to thank ROBBINSON MOORE for his kindness upon my family life, I never knew that there is still a sincere and trustworthy lender like this on the internet and on earth. Just some days I was in search for a loan of $ 100,000.00, As I was running out of money for feeding, School fees, My business was really going out of capital and my rent. I was scammed about $15,000.00 dollars and I decided not to involve my self in such business again. But a Friend of mine introduced me to a loan firm due to my appearance and doings and also my complains to her. And I told her that I am not interested in any loan deal anymore but she told me that there is still a sincere lender who she will recommend me to, And she gave me the details of this man who is called MOORE ROBBINSON. And I really put a trial and I am most greatful and lucky today, I was given a loan amount of $95,000,00 Dollars by this great firm MOORE LOAN COMPANY. If you arew in need of a genuine, Sincere, durable and a truth worthy loan lender or financial assistance and also you know you can be reliable and trusted, capable of paying back at the due / duration time of the funds I will advice you to send your contact to them via email @[ mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493 . And you will be free from scams on the internet. Please I am begging everyone on earth to help me thank Mr ROBBINSON MOORE. And I ill always being sharing this great surprise and testimony that happened in my life everyday to all that need loans. Contact them now if you are in need of a loan: AS THEY ARE EFFICIENT,DYNAMIC AND RELAIBLE.....Again there contact email [mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493..

13 0

I AM FINALLY FREE FROM FINANCIAL BONDAGE THANKS TO MOORE LOAN COMPANY (mooreloancompany@yahoo.com). Good day everyone,I can’t hide this great testimony that took place in my life I will love everyone to know it and be a partaker of this, that is why I want to share it to the whole world by placing this advert on classifieds, I am Mrs Karen Brown by name, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee United State, I want to thank ROBBINSON MOORE for his kindness upon my family life, I never knew that there is still a sincere and trustworthy lender like this on the internet and on earth. Just some days I was in search for a loan of $ 100,000.00, As I was running out of money for feeding, School fees, My business was really going out of capital and my rent. I was scammed about $15,000.00 dollars and I decided not to involve my self in such business again. But a Friend of mine introduced me to a loan firm due to my appearance and doings and also my complains to her. And I told her that I am not interested in any loan deal anymore but she told me that there is still a sincere lender who she will recommend me to, And she gave me the details of this man who is called MOORE ROBBINSON. And I really put a trial and I am most greatful and lucky today, I was given a loan amount of $95,000,00 Dollars by this great firm MOORE LOAN COMPANY. If you arew in need of a genuine, Sincere, durable and a truth worthy loan lender or financial assistance and also you know you can be reliable and trusted, capable of paying back at the due / duration time of the funds I will advice you to send your contact to them via email @[ mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493 . And you will be free from scams on the internet. Please I am begging everyone on earth to help me thank Mr ROBBINSON MOORE. And I ill always being sharing this great surprise and testimony that happened in my life everyday to all that need loans. Contact them now if you are in need of a loan: AS THEY ARE EFFICIENT,DYNAMIC AND RELAIBLE.....Again there contact email [mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493..

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My two children, now 11 and 7, unfortunately know why their daddy isn’t at home anymore. The day my daughter turned 7, he suffered a heart attack, which resulted in a severe brain injury. He has been hospitalized since. I was very honest with them from the beginning, though back then, even I had hope for recovery, and an eventual return home. Four plus years later, this will never be the case. If I was to count them up, I have spent many hours, and spoken through many tears, just to explain to them that their daddy never would have chosen to leave them, and would do anything in the world to be part of their lives again, however, the universe had another plan for all of us.

They now understand that he will never come home, and I think they even accept that he no longer really knows us on our visits, but when they do go, he is still daddy, regardless. For whatever it is worth, whether he recognizes us or not, the children still bring smiles (and tears) to his face.

The hardest days are those when something as simple as a school project about family or even a television commercial which involves a father and child bring about the heart wrenching pain I see in their faces. Even now I tear up thinking about what they lost. It isn’t about me, I had him for 12 years. It isn’t about his family, they had him for 39 years. It would be selfish of all of us to focus on our loss, but the children, they had such a short time with him, and that breaks my heart. My girl will live each birthday from now on remembering her 7th b-day nightmare, and my boy, well 3 ½ years were not quite enough to have tangible memories. He makes many memories up… I let him. They are his to hold close to his heart, and if they make him happy, so be it!

Most importantly, while times are tough, and the 3 of know why, we will make it through it all. The kids will forever know that their daddy loved them more than anything in his entire world, and I will always be there to remind them of that!

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I'm sorry you have to go through this. That was touching, and I hope more people get to read it. :)

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Thank you Jordanne!

0 8

My husband died three weeks before our son was born. Since my son was born I told him his daddy died and was in heaven and so it was accepted practically by him. I've also told him that his daddy couldn't wait for him to be born and would have been the best daddy ever. When he was little he used to tell people, "My daddy died" and it would shock them. He also thought the cemetery was heaven for awhile. But he knows he was loved and wanted and my tears (13 years later) like yours are for the little boy who never knew his dad, not for me.

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YOU just brought tears to my eyes Joan. You sound like an amazing mom!!!!

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My prayers are with you and your family Lori and faith

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Give him or her an age appropriate answer if you don't know what to say, You need to find a children's therapist to help explain to the child early on all the questions they have in an appropriate way. There are things as a single mom I would never tell my son that my ex husband has done to us both. I do not want him to feel like he cannot talk to me about things. So i set a good example by ex: praying for my ex husband and his family, encouraging him to speak about them freely, telling him he is so lucky to have so many people that love him. A good mom will try to hold her tongue around her children. The Dad may be no good, not paying child support, absent and always has been from that child's life, BUT THAT IS STILL PART OF THE CHILD. I know I have struggled with it. My son calls his bio dad by his first name or add's daddy then his name. Its whatever to me. It's all about my son, and what's best for him

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When they ask....there is always a way to communicate with your children. If they ask then it is the right time to provide an answer. I believe that you should focus on the good things as their father was once your lover. Our children will be affected by the story you tell, so tell the good one and leave the rest of the story for them to write if//when the time comes.

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I am a big believer in owning ones mistake...if you are a horrible judge of character and made a child/children with an unfit parent you should appologize for not being wiser and planning better. It's a raw deal to have a parent missing from your life...they are both profoundly important to psychological and social development. I would also encourage you to nurture any relationship between your child and a safe friend or family member that is willing to provide a gender substitute for the missing parent. Grandparents , aunts and uncles are 1st choices as they have a life investment in you child but please NOT A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND!
So short answer... when your child starts asking it's time to start owning so they NEVER FOR ONE SECOND feel that it was ever their fault that one of the most important human beings in their young lives is not around.

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The problem with owning ones mistake is by telling your kid you made a child with an unfit parent, you are really dinging their self esteem. Even if you aren't saying anything bad about their dad, the fact that you are apologizing to them for your selection in a parent is akin to telling them they are a mistake or the product of one. As someone who grew up the product of such a relationship who's mom "owned it" and told me that my bio-dad was unfit, I really felt bad growing up and that was with some good male substitutes. I do like the rest of your advice, but sometimes it just isn't good to fully own it. It is more important that your child think they come from something wonderful instead of a bad decision... There really isn't anything you can say to make up for "you were the product of a mistake I made/bad decision" no matter how gracefully you word it.

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I second this. I am not going to tell my son umm your dad came right out and said "I don't wanna be a dad!" EVER. My boyfriend is helping me raise my son. He has been here for everything and loves being a dad. My son chose to call him Daddy, Dad, Daddy then his name, or sometimes by his first name. We do not correct him, We let him choose. He gets to decided who is who. I had a mom and dad that were unfit to have me and they put my sister and I in the middle all of the time. It's not fun.

3 11

I have a situation where my older two see their Dad on a regular basis, and due to circumstances we now live across the road from their Paternal Grandparents. As for my youngest son he see's his Paternal Grandmother for an hour during supervised contact once a month, but due to his fathers actions and his further denials of those actions I am both unwilling and unable to allow my son access to his father, I will when he asks tell him about his dad, and I am positive that his big brothers will no doubt tell him why his dad is no longer around, but on no occasion will I say that it was my fault I made a mistake as I have had enough people over the last 18 months telling me that I should not blame myself and that I wasn't to know he would do what he did, Yes I did misjudge him but to say that what happened was my fault would be totally wrong

831 16

Yeah, I don't think this is a great idea... owning up to one mistakes and apologizing for making a baby with an unfit person? That sounds really depressing for a little kid. In my opinion, we all do the best we can based on what we knew at the time, and I would never "own up to my mistake" of creating a beautiful wonderful child. I don't think a mother that ended up in an abusive relationship or just a plain bad one shouldn't blame themselves! That kind of guilt isn't healthy for anyone! Instead they should be proud that they ended a bad relationship that would have been MORE unhealthy for the child had they stayed in it. "I'm sorry, I was a bad judge of character" or referring to your relationship with their father as a mistake is still bad-mouthing the father. It's too complex for children. Better to just say "Sorry honey, it didn't work out. But you have lots of people that love you."

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I think what you said is completely off base, if you apologize for the "mistake" of having your child with an "unfit" parent then you are calling your child a mistake and demeaning yourself in the process which undermines your authority with your child and lowers his/her self esteem. Children are never mistakes and should never be referenced as one so your advise is moronic and you should take a good look at yourself becuase you sould self righteous and stupid. Just becuase a father or mother left the picture and is or has become an unfit parent or decides he/she wants nothing more to do with the child then that is on that parent. You need to keep advice like this to yourself and away from any children.

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I completely understand where Katie is coming from. At some point, we have to look at the person standing next to us and ask ourselves... Will this be a great parent ? Lots of times someone wants a baby and they do not consider what the child will face. No child should grow up without a father. I know my husband will move mountains for his daughter, he always will. I made a decision to have a child with HIM ! So, next time someone thinks of having a child with someone.... Ask yourself if you know him/her well enough. Past behavior breeds future behavior... Unless you have years of a solid relatinship behind you, dont bring someone else into this. Your child suffers way more than you ever will.

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I've been off this thread for a while but I have to make a clarification...when people make poor choices that hurt those around them it is the RIGHT thing to do to apologize for those mistakes. When you sincerely apologize to your child for choosing poorly in the person you created your beautiful, magnificent, intelligent, remarkable and innocent baby with, you are alleviating them of the responsibility, and possible unworthiness they may feel, of their missing parent absence. I never called your child a mistake! You are not demeaning yourself or undermining your authority by letting your child know that it NEVER was and NEVER will be his fault that his father isn't around, it's called honesty...it what we are trying to teach our children. Someday your child may want to be a parent and when it comes to family planning they need to make good choices in their partner and have a plan. I am tired of women winging it when it come to having kids...you're not perfect, you made a mistake, own it! Also this advice was never intended for those who have lost a spouse to death...I am sorry for your loss.

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For all you Moms out there that keep your children from their Fathers perhaps you should join a father's rights group and see the other side. I have been in a 5 year custody battle to see my daughter in Germany where dogs have more rights than Fathers. I have moved to Germany to be with my kid - given up my career in NYC been thru 7 lawyers 3 judges 5 court appearances and only have 3 hours Tuesday and Saturday.

No over nights no vacations zero — now My daughter has been brainwashed that she can’t stay with me.
The world court ruled against Germany for human rights violation towards fathers in 2010--
Just this month Germany finally agreed they have to bring their laws into the right way.

What no one ever talks about about is this is run by the lawyers for money — the judges are in bed with the system..

Mothers are pawns in their money making scheme.. They use you to make their fortune — Is is sad because if Fathers got %50 at the start
They would be out of work very fast.

In Germany they are setting up the new law where every Father has to take every mother to court — The courts will be plugged up for years.

But please understand the Lawyers are buddies with the politicians and they are making sure they get their last EU’s before the system change and they will have to reinvent their business model.

With my ex I always says “ Just flip the rights . The visitaion.” Being German and believing in paper she would agree to this only if a judge would rule this way,

But her lawyer and the judge are buddies so never going to happen.

In closing I am a good father pay every month see her on the assigned days , bought a house with a big garden – I believed in the system and humanity.

The system has drained me financially and emotionally and has done my daughter no good.

My daughter and I are very close. We are defeated at every turn .

So try stepping into some Father’s shoes for a while. I hope posting this helps some child that misses her father.

Fred

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I read Fred's response and understand that the court system is geared towards mother's and their children. Looking for answers to some of my questions, it disheartens me to discover out of all the responses on this topic, it's about women helping women and no comments, support or words of encouragement for the men struggling to understand why they can't be with their kids. We're all not perfect in life and make mistakes. The women I have spoken to in my medical practice, for the most part, do position their kids between their ex-husbands and use them as a bargaining chip to exhort more money. The sincere fathers look for answers and most of them have jumped higher than they're asked with negative results. It's a waste of time and their money to go back to court because the ruling is often in their favor or they play stupid and have scores of reasons and answers to get out of the pickle they are in with the courts. I love my kids very much but work keeps me busy and the distance between us keeps us apart. The money I have sent them over the years has run out and the alimony she continues to receive is a reminder every month. My practice struggled a bit but continues to endure. I often hear from her after I have called and talked to the kids (as they are older now and off on their own) as they sometimes are bothered and trust going to her to talk some more...then out of the blue I get "the phone call" as she feels it's her place to talk and lecture me about what I have said to the children. If they have issues or questions, I tell them and her they should come to me and I will give them answers to their questions. Now I have discovered the rare occasions I discover events in their lives and I make the effort to attend to celebrate...it becomes all about "ME" instead of them. I make the trip, I take scores of pictures, I'm excited about being in their presence, I ask tons of questions...and suddenly the whole theme becomes ME instead of their event. Today, I have discovered my daughter is having a wedding ceremony, by invitation ONLY, and I'm not on the list. I discovered this during a google search for family genealogy (a hobby of mine) of her name and discovered a wedding page with all the info. I should add that in AUG2012, they had a brief civil wedding ceremony down here where I live for immediate family only, his and her's (me and my ex), then he deployed with the military overseas. They promised other family and friends a more formal ceremony the next year...and this is where we spoke. She didn't want me there and didn't invite me because other than special events I wasn't there on a regular basis. I should note that both kids live near and attended college closer to their mother than near me...that's fine, it's their choice. They received more visits and went home more often than making the trip my way. I understand, it was my choice to move away...I had to break free from her manipulating hold on me with the kids. And I live with that decision every day...because when ever I speak with them they always bring it up. Getting back to the wedding...She explained her reasons for not inviting me, I offered my rebuttal and sent her all my love and hopes for a wonderful event... So, as Fred has suggested, if the shoe were on the other foot then you could see where we're coming from. I've seen both sides and lived through it. My current wife lost custody of her son to her ex-husband and ended up paying child support...she struggled with visits, vacations, phone calls, gifts being taken away from her son and kept by her ex...she's been through it all. She has a bitterness that words can't describe...she also has a concealed weapons permit and is an excellent marksman. She looks for an opportunity to use it on him. She hasn't heard a word from her son in over 9 years now. Even her ex has no idea where he is today. I've been in your shoes Fred. I only hope I'll be allowed to share in the happiness of grand kids one day...I'll hold my breath.

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Well, Fred...unfortunately, you know, we hear these stories a lot. And maybe even more unfortunately, when we scratch at the surface of those stories, we much too often find that the child is being kept from the father for very good reasons. I am not saying that that is necessarily the case for you. But so far I have not, in real life, met a single father who was a sound, sane person and was denied significant time with his children. On the contrary the courts encourage it. When my daughter was little, even if my ex had been having psychotic episodes now and then, I would have had to wait until he had actually harmed my daughter, or left her open to harm, until I could've gotten supervised visitation for them. Instead, even though he was so mentally ill he couldn't really take care of himself, I had to send a preschooler off with him every week and just pray she'd come back okay. I have divorced friends in Germany and the situation with them and their children is not what you describe here, with the no overnights and no vacations.

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My 5 year olds dad has been in and out of her life since she was 2. The first 2 years are just his stupidity in not claiming her as his own. Anyway, this past summer he actually was taking her on a weekly basis. Then he got a new job which meant he would only be able to see her on weekends. His conclusion of this is that he has more important things to do with his weekends (Drinking, smoking weed, slutting around...) He saw her in July, then in October, then for Christmas each time when he dropped her off he said "love you, I'll see you next week." So the next week would roll around and he didn't call and wouldn't answer his phone. My daughter asked why he wasn't coming and my answer to her was, "Your daddy didn't have a daddy when he was little so he doesn't know how to be a daddy." She seemed to accept that as an answer. Her birthday is coming up this month and I am guessing he might stop by to give her a present, then again maybe not since the state started garnishing his checks for child support payments that he hadn't been paying on his own. I also tell her that God is her daddy and that He is always with her... I'm sure she'll understand it more as she gets older. God is the head of our household so that answer works for us. My realtionship with God is the best thing that has happenened in my life... I was on the brink of death, and He saved me. Teach your childrean about God, it is the best relationship and the only one to fill the void they are feeling in their hearts.

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I AM FINALLY FREE FROM FINANCIAL BONDAGE THANKS TO MOORE LOAN COMPANY (mooreloancompany@yahoo.com). Good day everyone,I can’t hide this great testimony that took place in my life I will love everyone to know it and be a partaker of this, that is why I want to share it to the whole world by placing this advert on classifieds, I am Mrs Karen Brown by name, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee United State, I want to thank ROBBINSON MOORE for his kindness upon my family life, I never knew that there is still a sincere and trustworthy lender like this on the internet and on earth. Just some days I was in search for a loan of $ 100,000.00, As I was running out of money for feeding, School fees, My business was really going out of capital and my rent. I was scammed about $15,000.00 dollars and I decided not to involve my self in such business again. But a Friend of mine introduced me to a loan firm due to my appearance and doings and also my complains to her. And I told her that I am not interested in any loan deal anymore but she told me that there is still a sincere lender who she will recommend me to, And she gave me the details of this man who is called MOORE ROBBINSON. And I really put a trial and I am most greatful and lucky today, I was given a loan amount of $95,000,00 Dollars by this great firm MOORE LOAN COMPANY. If you arew in need of a genuine, Sincere, durable and a truth worthy loan lender or financial assistance and also you know you can be reliable and trusted, capable of paying back at the due / duration time of the funds I will advice you to send your contact to them via email @[ mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493 . And you will be free from scams on the internet. Please I am begging everyone on earth to help me thank Mr ROBBINSON MOORE. And I ill always being sharing this great surprise and testimony that happened in my life everyday to all that need loans. Contact them now if you are in need of a loan: AS THEY ARE EFFICIENT,DYNAMIC AND RELAIBLE.....Again there contact email [mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493..

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There is never a good time to tell them. No matter what you say they are going to be hurt. However, my daughter found out about her dad around the age of 5. Not my choice. Children are mean, even to their own brotheres and sisters. She found out because one of her older sisters told her that the man who she called Daddy wasnt her dad! I WAS LIVID! I understand her sister was angry but it was uncalled for and hurtful. THis in turn caused a lot of emotional problems for her. She is now 16 almost 17 and is just now learning to deal with it. so this is a good question. I almost wish I would have just told her he was dead. But that would be lying to her and what kind of parent does that make me when I have taught them NOT to lie.

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my oldest daughter was conceived in a situation that ended with him in prison....somehow someone told her he was dead. When she started asking questions (she is nine) I explained that he wasnt dead but the situation was complicated and he was unable to be there for her. I dread the day when I have to explain how I got pregnant at 14 but she will always know she was Mamma's gift from God!

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You tell them when they ask and then you have to be sensitive and cautious as to what you tell them. When my daughter asked me that question over a year ago, all I could tell her was that there wasn't a reason for him not to have been in her life. We may have not lived in the same city or state for the first 7 1/2 years of her life, but he always had phone numbers and addresses of her whereabouts and he chose to disconnect before she was 2. Before her 9th birthday, we moved back to the state where her father is and I tracked him down to let him know so that he could have a chance to get to know his daughter and for the 10 months we were there, he never managed to find the time or make an effort to be in her life. Now, he's just a voice on the phone that she hears on an average of 6 times a year and that's rounding up. We single parents bare the burden of either making the absent parent a good person or bad person, but usually the child will see them for who they are.

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I AM FINALLY FREE FROM FINANCIAL BONDAGE THANKS TO MOORE LOAN COMPANY (mooreloancompany@yahoo.com). Good day everyone,I can’t hide this great testimony that took place in my life I will love everyone to know it and be a partaker of this, that is why I want to share it to the whole world by placing this advert on classifieds, I am Mrs Karen Brown by name, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee United State, I want to thank ROBBINSON MOORE for his kindness upon my family life, I never knew that there is still a sincere and trustworthy lender like this on the internet and on earth. Just some days I was in search for a loan of $ 100,000.00, As I was running out of money for feeding, School fees, My business was really going out of capital and my rent. I was scammed about $15,000.00 dollars and I decided not to involve my self in such business again. But a Friend of mine introduced me to a loan firm due to my appearance and doings and also my complains to her. And I told her that I am not interested in any loan deal anymore but she told me that there is still a sincere lender who she will recommend me to, And she gave me the details of this man who is called MOORE ROBBINSON. And I really put a trial and I am most greatful and lucky today, I was given a loan amount of $95,000,00 Dollars by this great firm MOORE LOAN COMPANY. If you arew in need of a genuine, Sincere, durable and a truth worthy loan lender or financial assistance and also you know you can be reliable and trusted, capable of paying back at the due / duration time of the funds I will advice you to send your contact to them via email @[ mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493 . And you will be free from scams on the internet. Please I am begging everyone on earth to help me thank Mr ROBBINSON MOORE. And I ill always being sharing this great surprise and testimony that happened in my life everyday to all that need loans. Contact them now if you are in need of a loan: AS THEY ARE EFFICIENT,DYNAMIC AND RELAIBLE.....Again there contact email [mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493..

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My Daughter's Father lives in a different state. She started asking at 3 why she didn't have one. I tolde her she did and everyone has one. I explained that he lived far away and although he could not be with her, he loved her. I didn't think I was lying because he said so when she was born and up until about a year and a half after that. She would have a breakdown twice a year wanting him to be a part of her life. I hugged her and cried with her. I always explained that everyone is not ready to be a parent and that if you force them to be it could have a negative impact like child and continuous rejection. I also explained that it had nothing to do with her and it was a choice he felt he had to make. I told her I was more than ready to be a parent and I will always be here with her as long as God knows she needs me to be here (She understood that people die and that was a fear of hers too). She accepted that. I never speak negative of him and I have allowed her to write him letters but I would explaining that she may not receive a response but she could just let him know how she was doing. I had to play it by ear and move on the topic when she did. I am always honest with her and adress issues as she asks and seems ready to receive the response. I have no hard feelings toward him...things happen and I share with her positive times we had together. She seems to get it. Best wishes!

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When they are old enough to understand. Each child is different. They will ask and you will know.

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It is important to understand your child and what their level of comprehension is. I told my son from the beginning what was happening during my divorce, but on a level he could understand and NOT demeaning their father in any way. I have chosen not to tell him when his dad's visitation is, just so there won't be any disappointment if there is a reason for a no show. They understand alot more than we give them credit for!

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Be Honest! Good or Bad it's Still Your Child. Don't give them the ammunition to Treat you differently in the Future...

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I think as soon as they start asking about them, it is time to tell the truth

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Just because he was a lying, cheating jerk to me doesnt mean hes gonna treat my son with such disrespect. When i forgave him for all that he has put me through, it had made our live alot easier. We dont fight anymore and we dont have any negitive thought toward each other. We are only human we will all make mistakes. I do think as a parent we treat the other parent like their mistakes are way worse. I had to stop thinking like that. Every time his dad makes an effort i praise him. I always tell him. "I really appreciated you taking him to the zoo. He really enjoyed it. Hell be talking about this trip for a while." If he makes a promise and something comes up to where he cant take him to the zoo. I just simply say "Aw thats too bad. He was really looking forward to spending time with you. Maybe we can try again another time." I would rather do that then fight with him to where he feels attacked.

#1 in my book never mention MONEY or CHILD SUPPORT. It makes the guys feel like they are only good for money. They think thats the only reason why you want them around.

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I have 3 kids, they were 18 months, 4 yrs and 7 yrs when their father left, and I have always been upfront and honest with them right from the start. Of course they all understood things in different ways and I explained things as appropriate for their age, as they have gotten older they have more of an understanding....(although he lives overseas and no longer wants cantact with his kids), so this was something else I had to explain (not easy)

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I had an experience with my children asking many questions of him. And my replys are still same: I DON'T KNOW. And they did not get a point from me, then I had said, "THAT YOUR FATHER WANTS TO DO ANYTHING OR EVERYTHING WHEREVER OR WHATEVER HE GOES."

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While I agree with an age appropriate answer....I have been in this situation 3 times! I could never tell them a lie, but I could not tell the truth. So I just said, "you know hunny, I am not sure." Because truthfully I wasn't. I didnt know what the dad's REAL reason was. I just knew from my point of view, and that was never good. I surely did not want to say negative things, so I just reassured that I loved them and went on about something else. As they grew older, they were not stupid! They figured it out on their own and never have they been angry with me. Because in my heart, I knew I rally did not know the dad's TRUE reason in HIS heart as to why he was not there. And I too believe that we dont know everything they do or where they go or why they do it!

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How A Legitimate Lender Helped Me

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Hi, I would like to share my experience with you guys on how I got a loan to pay the duty tax of my bank draft and to start up a new business. I was at the verge of loosing all my belongings due to the bank draft I took to offset some bills and some personal needs. I became so desperate and began to seek for funds at all means. Luckily for me I heard a colleague of mine talking about this company, I got interested. Although I was scared of being scammed, I was compelled by my situation and then I began to look online and ran into their number (802) 736-9174 and email at: (r_nelsonfinanceltd@yahoo.com ) where I was given a loan within 72hrs without knowing what it feels like to be scammed. So I promised myself that I was going to make this known to as many that are in financial stress to contact them and not fall victim of online scam in the name of getting a loan.

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Hi, I would like to share my experience with you guys on how I got a loan to pay the duty tax of my bank draft and to start up a new business. I was at the verge of loosing all my belongings due to the bank draft I took to offset some bills and some personal needs. I became so desperate and began to seek for funds at all means. Luckily for me I heard a colleague of mine talking about this company, I got interested. Although I was scared of being scammed, I was compelled by my situation and then I began to look online and ran into their number (802) 736-9174 and email at: (r_nelsonfinanceltd@yahoo.com ) where I was given a loan within 72hrs without knowing what it feels like to be scammed. So I promised myself that I was going to make this known to as many that are in financial stress to contact them and not fall victim of online scam in the name of getting a loan.

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Dr. Todd, After a long and painful (physically, mentally and emotionally) relationship and then break-up with my ex he continued to haunt me, continued to stalk me in my quest for a new life… even though he had a new woman to torture. I tried the police, they couldn’t keep him away. I turned to friends for protection and they couldn’t help me. I moved, he found me. I had no way out. You were my last resort to make him see and to be done with me and his cruel ways. The stories I have heard of what have happened to him I will no repeat but some have been horrific. He has since left me alone since he now has his own problems to deal with. I have been able to have a life my life without always looking over my shoulder thanks to you. Thank you for giving me my life back. E-mail:manifestspellcast@gmail.com or manifestspellcast@yahoo.com

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THE BEST PLACE TO SOLVE YOUR FINANCIAL PROBLEMS upstartloan@yahoo.com or CALL/TEXT +1(205)291-2541

Hello everyone in this forum, I am Jane Robin from palm Harbor Florida 34682. USA and want to use this medium to express gratitude to UP START LOAN for fulfilling their promise by granting me a loan, i was stuck in a financial situation and needed to refinance and pay my bills as well as start up a Business. I tried seeking for loans from various loan firms both private and corporate organisations but never with success, and most banks declined my credit request. But as God would have it, i was introduced by a friend named Mary Williams to UP START LOAN whom also confirmed to me that she also obtained a loan from them. In an attempt to resolve my current situation, i got in contact with the company via email and undergone the due process of obtaining a loan from the company, to my greatest surprise within 48hrs just like my friend Mary, i was also granted a loan of $80,000.00; So my advise to everyone who or know someone who desires a loan, if you must contact any firm with reference to securing a loan online with low interest rate of 2% and better repayment plans/schedule, please contact UP START LOAN. Besides, he doesn’t know that am doing this but due to the joy in me, i'm so happy and wish to let people know more about this great company whom truly give out loans, it is my prayer that GOD should bless them more as they put smiles on peoples faces. You can contact them via email on upstartloan@yahoo.com CALL/TEXT +1(205)291-2541 or visit their auxiliary webpage on https://upstartloan4.wixsite.com/upstartloan

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My ex broke up with me for the fact that he wanted space, i tried telling him how much i love him but he was just so stubborn, he suddenly changed, he started cheating, I was so hurt and depressed. so a friend suggested the idea of contacting a powerful man that can help me bring him back that this man helped her before, which I never thought of myself. after i contected prophetabudusolutiontemple@gmail.com for his help. I asked him to please help me do anything that will bring him back and make him love me more then before, but before the work was done, I was a bit skeptical about the capacity to bring my lover back to me. 3 days after the work was actually done, my lover transformed, he returned to me and since then there is no more mistrust and no more lies between us. He doesn’t cheat anymore. there is no word to say how grateful I am, I am leaving a testimonial on this page,prophet abudu

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My 3 year olds father is not present in his life. As of right now, I am still living with my parents due to financial reasons (only a couple months longer). He is super confused about all the family members. He thinks my dad (His grandpa who he calls “pops”) is his dad. And he thinks my brother (who he calls uncle J) is his brother. He knows that my mom (Mima) is not mommy. He doesn’t often ask where his daddy is because of the fact he thinks my dad is his dad . He calls my grandparents “Grandma & Grandpa” so he knows that Pops is not his Grandpa. Again, he is 3 years old so it’s hard to explain.. but what can I do to remind him that its only mommy and Cayden , no daddy. What do I begin to say when he actually starts to figure it out, the famous question “Wheres my daddy” ?? Thank you

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I AM FINALLY FREE FROM FINANCIAL BONDAGE THANKS TO MOORE LOAN COMPANY (mooreloancompany@yahoo.com). Good day everyone,I can’t hide this great testimony that took place in my life I will love everyone to know it and be a partaker of this, that is why I want to share it to the whole world by placing this advert on classifieds, I am Mrs Karen Brown by name, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee United State, I want to thank ROBBINSON MOORE for his kindness upon my family life, I never knew that there is still a sincere and trustworthy lender like this on the internet and on earth. Just some days I was in search for a loan of $ 100,000.00, As I was running out of money for feeding, School fees, My business was really going out of capital and my rent. I was scammed about $15,000.00 dollars and I decided not to involve my self in such business again. But a Friend of mine introduced me to a loan firm due to my appearance and doings and also my complains to her. And I told her that I am not interested in any loan deal anymore but she told me that there is still a sincere lender who she will recommend me to, And she gave me the details of this man who is called MOORE ROBBINSON. And I really put a trial and I am most greatful and lucky today, I was given a loan amount of $95,000,00 Dollars by this great firm MOORE LOAN COMPANY. If you arew in need of a genuine, Sincere, durable and a truth worthy loan lender or financial assistance and also you know you can be reliable and trusted, capable of paying back at the due / duration time of the funds I will advice you to send your contact to them via email @[ mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493 . And you will be free from scams on the internet. Please I am begging everyone on earth to help me thank Mr ROBBINSON MOORE. And I ill always being sharing this great surprise and testimony that happened in my life everyday to all that need loans. Contact them now if you are in need of a loan: AS THEY ARE EFFICIENT,DYNAMIC AND RELAIBLE.....Again there contact email [mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493..

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I AM FINALLY FREE FROM FINANCIAL BONDAGE THANKS TO MOORE LOAN COMPANY (mooreloancompany@yahoo.com). Good day everyone,I can’t hide this great testimony that took place in my life I will love everyone to know it and be a partaker of this, that is why I want to share it to the whole world by placing this advert on classifieds, I am Mrs Karen Brown by name, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee United State, I want to thank ROBBINSON MOORE for his kindness upon my family life, I never knew that there is still a sincere and trustworthy lender like this on the internet and on earth. Just some days I was in search for a loan of $ 100,000.00, As I was running out of money for feeding, School fees, My business was really going out of capital and my rent. I was scammed about $15,000.00 dollars and I decided not to involve my self in such business again. But a Friend of mine introduced me to a loan firm due to my appearance and doings and also my complains to her. And I told her that I am not interested in any loan deal anymore but she told me that there is still a sincere lender who she will recommend me to, And she gave me the details of this man who is called MOORE ROBBINSON. And I really put a trial and I am most greatful and lucky today, I was given a loan amount of $95,000,00 Dollars by this great firm MOORE LOAN COMPANY. If you arew in need of a genuine, Sincere, durable and a truth worthy loan lender or financial assistance and also you know you can be reliable and trusted, capable of paying back at the due / duration time of the funds I will advice you to send your contact to them via email @[ mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493 . And you will be free from scams on the internet. Please I am begging everyone on earth to help me thank Mr ROBBINSON MOORE. And I ill always being sharing this great surprise and testimony that happened in my life everyday to all that need loans. Contact them now if you are in need of a loan: AS THEY ARE EFFICIENT,DYNAMIC AND RELAIBLE.....Again there contact email [mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493..

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My life is a testimony that i keep testifying in every forum. my husband filed a divorce he moved in with his new mistress he left me and our two kids, i was confused and tears roll down my eyes all day and night . needed to be with my husband again so desperately. a friend directed me to meet the priest of the Love Spell Temple, i ordered a reuniting love spell from him and he told me to expect positive result within 24hrs and exactly that was the way it happened. i am glad that my husband is back to me and the kids. if you also want his help, email is 24hrslovespell@gmail.com or lovespellsolutiontemple.webs.com

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Thank you for your miracle Doctor Osemu Okpamen

This article is dedicated to the Doctor Osemu Okpamen. I have been married with my wife for 5 years and recently she broke up with me and it hurt me deeply when she told me to leave her alone and that she does not love me anymore when i was always faithful and honest to her. I tried all the ways to get her back buying her what she wants like i always did and she still left me heart broken and she even has a new boyfriend which destroyed me even more until a friend of mine from high school directed me to this genuine spell Doctor called Osemu Okpamen. This man changed my life completely. I followed everything he told me to do and my wife came back begging for me back. I was stunned everything happened exactly like he told me. I had faith in everything he told me and everything was true. Also he was there every moment until i got my happiness back and he also provides spells that cures impotence, bareness, diseases such as HIV/AID E.T.C You can contact him via email at { Doctorokpamenspelltemple@yahoo.com } or visit his website http://www.doctorokpamenspells.com. He will help you in anything you need and quick to answer once you contact him or call me for more info +1 (914)-517-3229.

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i am giving this testimony cos l am happy My name is mrs. Lara Mark from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in July this year on a business summit. i ment a man called dr. UKO.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address ukospelltemple@yahoo.com Great UKO i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you. please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay.. What a powerful man such as Dr UKO.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. ukospelltemple@yahoo.com or his website: ukospelltemple.wixsite.com/mysite or whatsapp hin via: +2347064650019

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I have a 10 month old daughter, the father didn't want to recognize her so he just bailed. I'm so afraid that when the time comes and asks, "where is my dad?" I won't know what to say, but I don't want to lie.
What is the right thing to say?

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Hello, i am Dr. Powell Garcia a loan lender who gives life time opportunity loans. Do you need an urgent loan to clear your debts or you need a capital loan to improve your business? have you been rejected by banks and other financial agencies? Do you need a consolidation loan or a mortgage? search no more as we are here to make all your financial problems a thing of the past. We loan funds out to individuals in need of financial assistance, that have a bad credit or in need of money to pay bills,to invest on business at a rate of 2%. I want to use this medium to inform you that we render reliable and beneficiary assistance and will be willing to offer you a loan.The Terms and Conditions are very simple and considerate.You will never regret anything in this loan transaction because i will make you smile. Our company has recorded a lot of breakthroughs in the provision of first class financial services to our clients, especially in the area of Loan syndication and capital provision for individuals and companies. We have brought ailing industries back to life and we back good business ideas by providing funds for their up start. We have a network of Investors that are willing to provide funds of whatever amount to individuals and organizations to start business and operations.i want you to understand the fact that i Dr. Powell Garcia is out to help the less financial privilege get back on track by providing all type of loans to them any interested client should contact me asap (dr.powellgarcialoans@gmail.com)

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Hi everybody,I won Lottery of $150,000 two weeks ago in Nsw 6 pool from 38 lottery play now i have my car i know this Christmas will be sweet for me.I was introduced to a spell caster called Dr Ogumen his email is (ogumenspelltemple@gmail.com) a month ago by a colleague who he helped with marriage and financial issues.All what he said and what he promised to do really happened.I guess never believed in magic or spells because i thought they were mostly scam acts or tricksters until i met him,everything changed,it exists but only in the right hands and with it everything is possible.I don't know how to pay him for this but i really hope i can do something important and special for him by telling other people how i i became rich now, his good in love spell, get your ex back, HIV spell, Pregnancy Spell And other spell if you are in need of any help contact him here ogumenspelltemple@gmail.com

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I keep asking myself this question and keep thinking about types of answers that I should give my daughter when she will ask me about her father.
She is not born yet, one more month to go so I still have time to think about what to say to her, but this is making me crazy. I don't want her to suffer because her father was too selfish to think of her too and decided that he prefers to ignore the fact that he will have a daughter, so definitely I cannot tell her this. The fact is that I don't want to lie to her either, therefore, when the big question will arrive, ''Mommy where is my daddy?'', what should I tell her in order not to suffer that he didn't want her and not to make her suffer? This question is making me crazy sometimes, but I try to avoid thinking of it that often, but as the moment of the birth comes closer, the question keeps being more present...

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I AM FINALLY FREE FROM FINANCIAL BONDAGE THANKS TO MOORE LOAN COMPANY (mooreloancompany@yahoo.com). Good day everyone,I can’t hide this great testimony that took place in my life I will love everyone to know it and be a partaker of this, that is why I want to share it to the whole world by placing this advert on classifieds, I am Mrs Karen Brown by name, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee United State, I want to thank ROBBINSON MOORE for his kindness upon my family life, I never knew that there is still a sincere and trustworthy lender like this on the internet and on earth. Just some days I was in search for a loan of $ 100,000.00, As I was running out of money for feeding, School fees, My business was really going out of capital and my rent. I was scammed about $15,000.00 dollars and I decided not to involve my self in such business again. But a Friend of mine introduced me to a loan firm due to my appearance and doings and also my complains to her. And I told her that I am not interested in any loan deal anymore but she told me that there is still a sincere lender who she will recommend me to, And she gave me the details of this man who is called MOORE ROBBINSON. And I really put a trial and I am most greatful and lucky today, I was given a loan amount of $95,000,00 Dollars by this great firm MOORE LOAN COMPANY. If you arew in need of a genuine, Sincere, durable and a truth worthy loan lender or financial assistance and also you know you can be reliable and trusted, capable of paying back at the due / duration time of the funds I will advice you to send your contact to them via email @[ mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493 . And you will be free from scams on the internet. Please I am begging everyone on earth to help me thank Mr ROBBINSON MOORE. And I ill always being sharing this great surprise and testimony that happened in my life everyday to all that need loans. Contact them now if you are in need of a loan: AS THEY ARE EFFICIENT,DYNAMIC AND RELAIBLE.....Again there contact email [mooreloancompany@yahoo.com] OR Text +1(414) 454-9493..

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spell is not new to anyone who uses the internet frequently,More accurately, most of us depend greatly on the internet for information's and ways to fix things.It can be relationship related, or finance related or any kind of problem you can think of.So in all words we try everything we read to fix it which might just include spell casting.I know this sounds crazy but believe me spell casting is just as real as any other thing you can think of It just turned out that the internet is flooded with a lot of fake making it is very difficult to separate the "shaft from the wheat" fake from real so here are reason that i think will convince positively about spell casting click the below link http://priestjaja.tumblr.com/ or email jaja12demonspell@gmail.com thanks.

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HOW I GET MY RELATIONSHIP BACK WITH MY LOVER AGAIN through DR OGUMEN of ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo.com , my mount is full of testimonies but here is a little i can say out of the whole wondrous things DR OGUMEN has done for me i was in a great and the sweetest relationship with my man JONES SAMMY for two years and we were both in good terms and even planning of getting married this September 2015 so when he traveled for on the a business trip to Australia he melt a lady there whom he dated for two months and when he returned back to home he began to behave strange and with not long he said he is tired of this relationship looking for ways to break our love life and he finally push me out and bring in the Australia lady with him .this time i was frustrated and devastated about my love life so i vow not to rest until i am able to get back the only man i have ever loved so i began to look for a solution to restore my love life . one day my friend Jessica Sanchez came to me telling me about this man DR OGUMEN saying this man has helped he restore his life so i said let me also try as i have no other choice in getting back Jones . at first when i contacted he i thought nothing will work but it was like a dream and surprise when he told me go my child i have and wait for Jones can within the next 3 days and to my greatest surprise Jones actually called me and was pleading on the phone saying he was under a spell from the other lady so with all this great things DR OGUMEN of ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo.com has done for me i want you all to join me to say thank you to this man .or call +2348112060028 or add me on whatsApp+2347064358629

MARY KATHY_TEXAS

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NEED REAL ONLINE SPELL CASTER HELP URGENTLY TO BRING BACK EX LOVER: HUSBAND, WIFE, GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND. WANT SPELLCASTER DESPERATELY TO GET BACK EX LOVER, TO STOP YOUR LOVER CHEATING ON YOU, SPELL CASTER FOR MONEY SPELL, FOR DEATH SPELLCATER, SUCCESS SPELLCASTER, BEAUTY SPELLCASTER, SPELLCASTER TO STOP/FILE DIVORCE, CONTACT THE GREAT, REAL AND HONEST SPELL CASTER TODAY ON:
Mobile: +2348059092407
Email: oruentempleofpowers@gmail.com
Email: oruentempleofpowers@gmail.com

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Hello,

I am Anita Williams From USA. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called DR SYLVESTER from Africa has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex wife to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Micheal we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when he was unable to give me a child for 4 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get her back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email to me (st.benson391@outlook.com)
then you won’t believe this, when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast, and bring my lost husband back,thank you once again the great DR SYLVESTER for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below: you can contact him via Email; (st.benson391@outlook.com) or his website:http://stbensonsolutionhome.webs.com
Write DR SYLVESTER on (st.benson391@outlook.com) i can not stop testifying of his good work and i believe that a trial will convince you also.
Email : st.benson391@outlook.com
Mobile Number: +2348136090988
Website:http://stbensonsolutionhome.webs.com

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