12 year old pees in his pants at the mall

Amber - posted on 01/14/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )




Help!!!!! We were at the mall and instead of telling us he had to go to the bathroom he waited till he couldn't wait any more. Finally I asked if he had to go and by then it was to late. We headed that way but he didn't make it and was pulling his shirt down to hide it. I don't know what to do. This has been going on forever. We have visited dre seeing a therapist etc.... suggestions? ????


Carol - posted on 01/18/2012




There is a small percentage of kids at that age that just haven't got the ability to sense the need to use the bathroom. It's a physical issue, not a behavioral issue. I had a nephew who fit this. Nothing wrong with the kid at all except for that. I lost touch with him when he was around 12 and the poor kid was finally mastering it. He was going to a therapist to deal with the humiliation. My nephew learned to just try going a certain time after eating or drinking and after waking up. His problems were more at night. Good luck, Amber.


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Richelle - posted on 01/22/2012




My father-in-law has a problem with nerves in his groin and can't tell when he needs to go. It is often a problem with somewhere in the genito-urinary system i.e. kidneys or possibly a valve in the urethra. Both of my sons were born with kidney problems, one had a blocked/malfunctioning valve, and the other had cysts in one kidney, which resulted in him only having one functional kidney. Make sure he goes to the restroom more often, and that he concentrates on making sure his bladder is empty. A urologist could possibly help more than just a pediatrician (in case you haven't already gone that route). He probably doesn't really feel the urge to urinate until his bladder is very full, and that does sound like a nerve issue (not necessarily anxiety - physical nerve problems). Good luck.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/17/2012




Ok, 12 is MORE than old enough to discretely tell you that he needs to pee.

Fear of public restrooms is something that MUST be overcome.

Until you can help him to learn either a discrete way to get your attention, or a code word for "bathroom", my suggestion would be to drag everyone to the restrooms when you get to the mall, and again every hour until you leave. Of course, at 12, both my kids were excusing themselves to the restroom without my supervision, so I'm not sure how this behavior manifested...

Now, I have had issues with my kids pooping their pants because they didn't want to go, but I was not easy about that fix either. They need to accept that there are things in life that they have to do. Using the restroom is NOT an option!

Carol - posted on 01/17/2012




Have him limit himself on what he eats and drinks before you go to a mall. You could also lie and say that you have to go so he may as well try at the same time. My 11 year old hates to use public bathrooms. A lot of the men's rooms are just disgusting. Maybe he'd be more comfortable in the family restrooms (by himself).

Kristin - posted on 01/16/2012




he might have anxiety towards the crowds at the mall. Being 12 he might be at the stage where he is to proud to say that. Have you asked him if he wants to stay home? Or with a friend while you go?

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