Bad friends & brothers

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

One of the other ladies posted a conversation on bad friends & I knew my neighbors kids weren't the best but my 5yr old son came in today to tell me that his brother who is 7 & the neighbor boy who is also 7 won't play with him & were talking mean about him & calling him names. Well I sent the neighbor boy home & told my 7 yr. old that it was unacceptable to treat his brother that way & they needed to play with his little brother. He proceeded to tell me that the neighbor boy hates his brother & said he wouldn't be his friend if he didn't hate him too. Well my son said he agreed with him & only said bad stuff so he would stay his friend but he really did like his brother & didn't mean it. I was so outraged I didn't know what to say. I am trying to find a way to explain to him that you cannot say one thing & mean another. And now I am wondering do I banish the neighbor from our yard? Or do I talk to him & tell him he has to be nice or not come over? My 5year old was so upset & so was I. I feel frustrated on getting through to my son that family is first & how hurtful he is really being. Any advice?


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Tasha - posted on 08/15/2010




My son is 7 and my nephew is 5. They play well together. However if my son or nephew get mad at my seven year old niece they say stuff like that. "Lets not be her friend. Lets not play with her". I get on to them and tell them thats not nice. I think at this age, kids don't really understand. One day they are best friends, the next day enemies. I would give him one more chance after explaining to him that its not a nice thing to do. I would also make sure that the 7 year olds had a chance to play along sometime.

Michelle - posted on 08/13/2010




Yes you should insist that the other boy follow your house rules when he is in your yard, but remember your boys are two years different in age and at age 7 the older boys may need some time without the younger one....I would suggest that you instill a policy of they have to play with the younger one some of the time but can also have big boy time without him. Maybe try to find your 5 year old some friends his own age to hang out with so he won't pester the older ones....I agree family does come first but not at age 7-14 children are reaching out to their peers at this time and peer pressure as you have already seen is hard to ignore. I hope things work out for you I will most likely be going through this myself in a few years except my kids have 8 years between them so my older one will really not want to hang out with his little sister good luck to you.

Kimberly - posted on 08/10/2010




I have also read the other post. If other kids wanna play at your house they have to respect your rules. I see no problem in telling him he has to play nice with both of you sons or he can't stay and play.

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