behavior issues with 3 boys

Nancy - posted on 10/07/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




it seems no matter what i do or how much i have dedicated my life to my kids theres no listening to me. my 7, 3, and 2 yr old boys are just so bad and its like a waterfall effect. started with the 7 yr old and has gone down. as of right now the 7 yr old and 3 yr old r playing in the bathroom. the 7 yr old walks out but i have to pick up the 3 yr old kicjing screaming and telling me im a bad mom. i have tried everything from time outs to taking things away and nothing works. im 27 now but was 19 when my oldest was born and my husband and i have done it all on our own. no advice nor support from family. help i feel like im failing my children.


Sonya - posted on 10/08/2013




Boys are different than girls---I have eight boys from 20 years down to 7 years.
My husband and I recommend the book "To Train Up A Child" by Michael and Debi Pearl. They are Mennonite--so you will see the Bible used and applied. Some things we don't totally agree with but the principles work because the Bible is true.

I cannot tell you all of what it says, but you must have control.
You speak of time out---time out for children under the age of 8 does not work, unless it is for you to get control over yourself.

A two year should not be reasoned with. You tell them what they should do. You are the mom. Do not ask them, "Do you want to do...?" When safety demands them to obey. Sometimes options are fine--do you want oatmeal or corn flakes? But when it is a case of you being in charge or in charge. If you tell them that they need to do something---then make them, even if dinner gets burned, you're late for an must show them that you are their parent. Boundaries are what they need and want.

They test you to see if you will follow through with what you say. If you don't, then your word means nothing. If you do, they will gain respect for you.

Pick you fights over important issues. For most of our boys, I did not care whether they finished their plates at dinner time. They usually did. But one did not eat until he saw what was for dessert. Then he would quickly wolf down his meal. We let that motivate him for a time, but have now told him --"No dessert, you were told to eat while we were eating, you did not care to obey. You will not have dessert now." Do not give in. It is a battle of wills and if you want control when they are teen agers, you must win now. (You don't want to fight a football player!)

Some days, no most days, I feel like a witch---yes I enjoy my children, but I want obedient children, because that is what is best for them.

I am just touching the surface of discipline. Get the book. The publisher is: No Greater Joy, Ministries out of TN.

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