Bullying Crap...please help

Jen - posted on 11/03/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 9 yr old son's best friend is not so nice anymore. For a while these two and a 3rd were always hanging out, after school, because we all live close to each other. The 3 of them ride the bus together too. Lately, they have been leaving him out half the time. They will say they can't play but when I pick up my daughter at the bus stop, I see one's bike at the others house. On one occasion when this happened, we ran into them, in the neighborhood and they ignored him. But then they'll play together the next day. I think this is all led by my son's best friend - the other kids is a "yes kid" and just does whatever he is told.

But at school there are 5 of them that eat together at lunch every single day -my son, his best friend, the 3rd kid who lives around us and 2 others. Suddenly, my son's best friend decided he didn't like one of those two others. When that kid sits down, the 4 others get up and leave him there alone. My son doesn't even know why his best friend doesn't like this kid but he follows along and leaves him just like the others do.

THIS KILLS ME. Not just because I think one day it's going to be my son but I feel terrible for the child left at the table. I had a long talk with my son about this and tried to put him in that situation - what if YOU are that kid?? What would you give to have one or more of your other friends stay back with you?? I strongly advised him to sit there and not mindlessly follow when he doesn't even know what the problem is. I don't know if he will or won't - peer pressure at this age will probably make him fear his best friend will hate him. Of course I had to tell him that this is NOT how we treat each other.... But they have been best friends since 1st grade, I can't break his loyalty to him but this kids is no longer the type of kid I want my son around. This is not the kind of stuff I want him to think is perfectly okay.

Seeing that this crap is happening to my son and now this other kid, I am so fired up. I want to sit back and coach my son through this but sometimes I think adults have to step in. I am more concerned about the kid left at the lunch table alone - how does a 9 year old feel when all 4 of your friends get up when you sit down??

Is there anything I can or should do? I really do get that kids have to work out their own issues but when does an adult need to step in? What would you do?


Jceeallen - posted on 11/03/2012




Well it seems you gave your son the right advice. My boys are still young, but I know there is alot of this going around. I actually dealt with this growing up. The child getting left out was me. I became strong and was taught how to treat others. Not saying it wasn't hard, but God pulled me through.

The Golden rule is not known nor is it taught hardly anywhere today. Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. All I can say is just keep urging your son to do this and hopefully he'll eventually stand up to his best friend. As mothers we think we have to fix everything. Sometimes we do need to step in, but as long as there isn't any abuse or actual bullying going on. Now when it get's physical or if they tease and taunt then someone should step in for sure.

Hope this is encouraging to you. Hang in there. I know it's hard to see your kids go through trials of any kind. Just be there for your son, and teach him how to treat others. A friend loveth at ALL times. Not just when it's convenient for them.

God Bless,


1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms