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Chores

Tiffany - posted on 08/17/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 5 and we are considering starting a chore chart for her. I am haveing a hard time figureing out what kind of chores are appropriate for a 5yr old?? Or is it to early to start a chore chart? We were thinking of giving her 1 marble for each chore she completes and each marble would be worth $1 and at the end of the week we would count her marbles and give her the money to go buy a toy with when we went grocery shopping. But the catch would also be that when she didnt listen or talked back or threw a fit, the we would take a marble away each time. What does everyone eles think?

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Ilene - posted on 08/17/2009

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My five year old son is responsible for making his bed (with some help), putting his clothes in the hamper, setting the dinner table, putting his dishes in the sink, keeping his room clean, keeping the bathroom clean, and not arguing with us. He gets a sticker for each of these nightly. After a week or two, if he is doing really well, we buy him a toy.

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Patricia - posted on 11/28/2015

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Teal Rose ....spot on! I often find bad behaviour with mine is because i expect too much from her....poor little thing. I get there in the end though. And thanks for reminding us all about respect for these wonderful little people ☺

Patricia - posted on 11/28/2015

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This post was ages ago. I wonder if the op still comes to this page. Would like to know how he worked it all out. Having 2 patenting styles really confused a kid and they always act out. And giving realistic age appropriate consequences is a balance. I wonder if the daughter ever learnt to turn lights off behind her. ...i think this is every fathers gripe since the invention of light bulbs lol $1 each time seemed harsh and i wonder if the daughter gave up trying if the task was impossible to her and became flippant and defiant. Obviously there is love behind the rules.
I would have suggested have the 2 adults talk, compromise and be consistent following through on discipline between the homes with much communication. Dad to relax the rules a little and mum to ramp it up a little. Let her know how it is going to be from now on. Back each other up etc.
She was certainly testing boundaries, as is my almost 8yo just now. I'm consistent as is her dad but he has just moved into his gf who is lovely but our comms has gone down to a quick 5min rundown. Daughter is behaving exactly like the op and won't talk about it. Very critical of me and my home right now.
Think we are going through an age/circumstance phase right now and i will need to tough it out with compassion, patience and boundaries. Extra talk and discipline.
Maybe its wrong but will figure it out eventually. ...not perfect and i don't always get it right first time haha

Debbie - posted on 01/26/2015

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How is the marble working? I use plastic coins with happy face stickers in the middle because I want the children to see happy faces and think happy thoughts as they learn to earn them. I do something similar in the reward process, but I found that having to make the time to take the child shopping was difficult to schedule when the money was earned and ready to spend. So I adapted the reward list to individual things, that didn't include my time unless the child was willing to use tokens to account for my time involved. For instance, children love to pay for things like: not clean the toilet, Not set the table or to sleep in a sleeping bag or have a friend play date. Simple things the children do each day. It turned out to be an amazing adaptation and it made my life so much more pleasant as I taught my children to give first time obedience happily and cheerfully. I also took away tokens (based on how many earned and how I felt about the lack of response or mouthiness experience). The child never knew how many that might be (I kept control of the system that way) and the thought of losing tokens when they wanted what was on the list, helped control bad behavior dramatically. Love the token system and there are lots of adaptations that can be used as the children grow and change. I like this site: http://foxholeparenting.com
http://strongwilledchildren.com

Crissy - posted on 07/24/2011

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My 6 yr old has chores just like my other 5 children do. Mostly he "helps" the big boys with theirs (ie; take out the bagged trash to the can, bring the cans in after garbage day, feed/water the dogs,) he's also responsible for cleaning his room "to mom's standards" and making his bed. If there's a special thing he wants, he gets to "earn" it. With so many children in my home, we don't believe in "allowance" for the simple fact that as the kids get older, so does their "need" for money and we can't afford to be paying everyone...my kids all earn privileges (ie; a day off, sleep-overs, camping in the tent out back etc) I'm a firm believer that it is EVERYONE's chore to keep the house tidy...not just mom's. Granted, I DO "bribe" my kids for good grades...:)

Keri - posted on 07/24/2011

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She should be able to clean her room and put the toys away in her play area. You don't really want a kid working with household cleaners, but you could giver he a damp, soapy rag and tell her to scrub whatever she thinks is dirty. Get her one of those kid-size broom/dust pan combos they sell at practically EVERY toy store. She could help load dishes or laundry - I often rinse the dishes as I put them in the dishwasher, so instead of putting them directly in, I have my son put them in, then he squirts in the soap/closes the soap container & dishwasher door and starts the dishwasher. Lately, he's wanted to help with laundry. We have a top load washer and front load dryer, so I take the clothes out of the washer, hand them to him and he puts them into the dryer. The marble thing is good and has many incarnations (tokens, Bingo chips, etc.). My son goes to gymnastics classes and the kids get tokens and once they have so many they can get something from the 'store'. If they're good and listen and perform the tasks, they get all the tokens they can earn during that lesson, but if they misbehave the instructor takes one token away.

Breanne - posted on 08/21/2009

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I don't think that taking away money from her that she has earned for the chores that she has done is right when she misbehaves. Just because she worked hard and would be proud of what she has done and you don't want to ruin that by taking away the money because she might be able to figure out, "Well why should i do the chores because i'm just going to have that money taken away anyways when i'm bad." You wnat to make doing chores a positive experience for her not a negative one. Maybe just stick with being consisent with what you have been doing with her bad behaviour so things don't get so mixed up. Keep it simple, not complicated. But money for her chores is a great idea! You might want to think about maybe having her SAVE up the money for something special later on, help her start to learn how to save, how much to be spening on something and all that stuff that comes with learning how to deal with money. It's better to start young! Hope this helps you!

Amanda - posted on 08/21/2009

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I actually saw something similar to the marble thing on Nanny 911. I think it's a great idea, although a dollar is a lot of money. If you do a dollar, then I would suggest letting her take maybe half of her earned money and putting it into a savings account, which at most banks can be opened for just $10. My children all have chores, and really it's up to you on deciding what your daughter can handle. My eldest child, 6, keeps his room tidy, helps switch laundry around, load the dishwasher, and takes turns with the vaccum cleaner with his sister. My daughter, 4, helps me fold clothes, tidy her room, and vaccums. My youngest, 2, dusts the coffee and end tables, gathers the dirty laundry, and feeds the dog (with help of course). They all pick up their toys at the end of the day, and it really helps me out when they participate with chores. We also have a large garden, and they have their garden chores each week as well. Like I said, you know what stuff your daughter is capable of. Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 08/20/2009

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We started our almost 6 year old with a chart about 2 years ago. It was simple with pictures and includes getting dressed, putting dirty clothes away, brushing teeth, etc. - things that need to be done every day. There was one for the morning and one for the evening. We have now started with a "chore chart" with magnets. It has spaces for 7 chores for each day = 49 total magnets for the week. The chores are a combination of chores and attitudes and consist of listening, setting the table, clearing the table, helping Mom, feeding the cat, no whining, and completing the morning and evening lists. She gets a magnet for each chore and at the end of the week she gets a penny for each magnet for a possible total of $.49. We give her the opportunity to earn "extra" magnets for things she does "off the chart" like picking up her baby sister's toys. At the end of the week, if all spaces are filled, she gets the money and gets to pick a restaurant of her choice (Chuck E. Cheese, any restaurant that has a playground) in addition to the money. We've been doing this for a couple of months, and she has yet to fill in all 49 spaces. It's a work in progress, but she gets excited to put the magnets on. Once school starts, we might have to reevaluate how this works.

Lakisha - posted on 08/18/2009

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My daughter is 5 and she has chores and loves them. She cleans her room and folding her own clothes. She even helps me with the dishes( so she thinks).

Jackie - posted on 08/18/2009

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We have a chore chart for my 5 and 7 year old and it works great. The chores we have listed are making bed, cleaning room, folding washcloths (towels are still too big), sweeping floor, clearing table, setting table, hanging up clothes, etc..
We put on some chores they regularly do and some they should do but often forgot. They got to approve the list. We made columns for the days and they get to put a sticker in each for each chore they do. (each sticker is worth a quarter)
At the end of the week we add up all of their stickers and give them the money. They then get to decide what they want to do with the money.
My daughters have picked out some toys, gone to the movies (with the family), and gotten ice cream.
They love this system and we now have them rushing to be the first to do chores so they can put their sticker on the chart.
Just a suggestion - we have a seperate rule sheet for unacceptable behavior and consequences so it doesn't affect the chore chart at all (I thought they might lose interest in it otherwise if they felt they weren't being rewarded).
(An example of the rule chart we have is if they hit someone they loose their favorite stuffed animal at night)

Delta - posted on 08/17/2009

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We started towards the end of last school year paying her for chores she has done. We pay her 50 cents for one chore and she has up to 8 chores she has to do (but some of them she doesnt have to do everyday). We have her help with dog poop pick up, help with recycling, help with dishes, taking out trash, clean family room, feed animals, sweep the floors, and right now she helps keep her pool clean. We will pay her at the end of the week for what she has done.

Jessica - posted on 08/17/2009

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Chore Charts are a good idea to promote cleanliness and organization, with that said, I feel for a 5 year old the chores shouldnt be too involved. Cleaning up ones room is a great chore, as long as its not a disaster site. (in that case, you and your DD should work on the room together. DS and I race to see who can clean which side of the room faster -yes, everything MUST go in its place- and the past couple times he has won fair and square) Other chores could be to put the spoons in the spoon area of silverware drawer, putting a fresh garbage bag into the bin when that gets changed -the practice of proper handwashing will come to play with this one...BONUS!!-, folding socks, help put away the groceries.
Whatever way you want to reward her is up to you. What may help is to have a secondary chart that is for behaviour. At the end of the day, when she is sleeping, if she did her chores and behaved herself she gets a sticker on each chart. At the end of the week, count the stickers; 50 cents if she cleans and 50 cents if she behaves. If she cleans, but has a bad day, then she misses out on a whole dollar (place emphasis on the "whole dollar" if youre having behaviour issues) and only gets 50 cents for that day. It'll help her with both and save you money. As things start to be more routine for her, get rid of the charts and do weekly "presents", then "monthly" and then hopefully she'll be at the age that most kids are when they get a weekly allowance (if that is the route you want to take with her.)

GL!

Michelle - posted on 08/17/2009

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My five year old is responsible for picking up her room, and putting her dirty clothes into the clothes hamper. I also have her put her clean clothes away after they are washed, dried and folded. I do not do an allowance because I feel keeping the house tidy is everyone's job.

Angie - posted on 08/17/2009

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I think 5 is a great time to start a chore list. At 5 my children set the table, cleared the table and of course kept their rooms clean. On weekends they could vacume and dust with me. We've never given our kids allowance so I have no idea what the "going rate" is.

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