How do you answer your child who questions why doesn't Santa bring gifts to poor kids, but he brings lots to kids who already have lots?

Carol - posted on 11/21/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )




How do you answer your child who questions why doesn't Santa bring gifts to poor kids, but he brings lots to kids who already have lots? He's heard the adverts on the radio for the toy drives and sees the school also does a toy drive. This child believes in Santa. How do you answer without spoiling the magic of Santa?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/22/2011




We taught ours that "Santa" is a fictional depiction of the spirit of giving, and that the best way to have "santa" visit our house was to provide a "santa" experience for a less fortunate child.

Each year, we adopt a family, and try to provide them with the best christmas possible, within our means. We are by no means affluent ourselves, but we know that a giving heart will be rewarded, and that it is best to give unconditionally...that is, pay it forward.

My sons learned from the time that they could walk, that there were always children who didn't have as good a christmas as we did. And that was when we only had a couple hundred bucks a year to spend on christmas. half of it was spent on our kids, and half on donations to a transitional shelter, or adopted family. My oldest, when he was 3, asked "what are we doing for the kids, mom?" When I explained that they wouldn't have a lot of room at the shelter, he said, "but m&Ms don't take up much room, do they?" So he got out his piggy bank and bought a package of m&m's for every kid at the shelter. At 3 years old. Ok, so it was candy. So what. the important thing is that he was thinking about someone else.

The magic of Santa is giving. The way to keep that magic is to find a way to make someone else's holiday a little brighter. Whether that means a package of m&m's, or a donated toy, THAT is the true "spirit" of santa.

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J usually gets one or two gifts from Santa, and the rest are from his dad and I. We tell him that the Santa gives all the kids one or two gifts, but we hold toy drives and charities to help parents who cannot buy gifts for their children so that those children will have gifts from both Santa and from their parents.

We also tell J that "Santa" (we call him St. Nicholas) is the personification of the spirit of giving--basically, that we keep St. Nicholas (or Santa) alive by giving gifts to others and that without our action, that spirit would die.

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My kids get 1 gift each from Santa and the rest r from Mommy and Daddy so with this I have told my kids that toy drives r so parents can get their kids gifts and they accept this as an answer. Santa usually just brings them a small gift that they asked for like a movie or video game and the big stuff Video game systems scooters bikes etc all come from mom and dad

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Hmmm - I think if your child is smart enough to ask this question it might be time to quietly introduce some doubt in his/her mind about Santa's existence. That or just brush off the question with "I just don't know!"...

Lindsy - posted on 11/29/2011




My daughter aged 8 , just this month asked me this same question.I asked her," why do you think that is?" . She eventually came to this conclusion herself.I think that this is something that develops critical thinking skills (something I feel very much lacking in the world today) and don't feel it's a bad thing, it shows that they are thinking and trying to figure the world out. It shows that they care about others and aren't wrapped up in themselves and gives them the chance to "be the spirit of giving" (Santa) for others who need it.


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Elizabeth - posted on 12/06/2011




It might be time to tell the truth! When my daughter statred asking these questions and "what do you think" wasn't good enough, I leveled with her. She know helps me *be* Santa. I told her that Santa, is the idea of giving without expecting thanks, so the "Angel Tree" is a big part of our Holidays now. The truth, doesn't have to ruin the magic!

Adrienne - posted on 12/05/2011




In our house, what we've traditionally done is presents under the tree are from us and Santa fills the stockings. People at work organize a toy drive every year for foster kids in our area. We have boxes for toys to be distributed as well as several foster families that we "adopt". I "adopt" a child every year and have my boys help pick out the gift. In doing this, they get to see and participate in helping others that are having a hard time. As for believing in Santa - I am 35 and still get a present from "Santa" (my mom) even though I knew it was her at 6 y/o. Although, I didn't tell her I knew until much much later because I didn't want to spoil it for her lol. Santa is part of the childhood magic of the season and both of my kids 9 & 4 very much believe.

Danielle - posted on 11/29/2011




My son gets one gift from Mommy and the rest is from Santa. He is 9 and really doesn't believe in Santa anymore. However if he has a whole bunch of questions, we sit and watch The Santa Clause.

Amy - posted on 11/28/2011




I don't understand why some people are wanting kids to grow up so quickly. Believing in Santa is one of the most magical things in a childs life. I have encouraged my childrens belief for several years after they started questioning whether or not he was real. I just finally let my oldest in on the secret this year because she is 12 and is was beginning Junior high. My youngest is 9 and is stil holding on to the belief in Santa. Santa always brings my girls the one thing that Mom and Dad always said we would not buy them. Something that was either too expensive for mom and dad to purchase or dress up makeup in the stocking. I don't buy my kids makeup at all so when Santa puts a little lip gloss and some light pink eye shadows in the stocking it encourages the belief in Santa.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 11/28/2011




I honestly believe some of the fun in being a child at Christmas is believing in Santa. My parents always explained that Santa needs extra help during Christmas so that's why there are the toy drives. My 7 year old helps with those herself. She's also asked me why the Salvation Army does the red kettle campaign and I explained that it's because some people aren't able to afford things.

Back at my parents' house I always wrote to Abby from Santa on the gifts from me and my parents would write to Abby from mama and pop. My MIL and her boyfriend do the same here.

Just use an explaination that he'll be able to understand without spoiling the belief in Santa.

But it's nice that your son is concerned about other people which means you're doing an excellent job as a parent. Keep it up :)

Joanne - posted on 11/23/2011




First of all, don't give your child false hope by telling your child there is a Santa Clause. Tell the truth. Santa Clause is fictional and the real gift giver in this case are parents, friends, and family. Kids appreciate honesty more than we realize; especially at times like these.

Jill - posted on 11/23/2011




sometimes when you dont know how to answer a question or dont want to answer, answer it with, "what do you think?" what a very inquisitive and very bright child!!!! good luck!

Carol - posted on 11/23/2011




Thanks everyone, the answer was so simple and for some reason I couldn't think of it. yes, in our house Santa brings 2 gifts and then they get one each from me and their siblings. Thanks for the brain boost!

Tamara - posted on 11/22/2011




This question is one reason because I remember having it when I was younger and it confused me, we only give one present from santa, the rest are from mom dad or their siblings. when we adopt a family we say that we are helping the family because their mommy and daddy are going through a hard time and need help wth giving their kids some presents, I try to get the same age kids as mine same gender too so they can pick out for the kids.

So this question hasnt come up.

Ashley - posted on 11/21/2011




we've always said that it wasn't "Santa" who as unable to provide's the parents who are having a hard ime. So, other mommies and daddies try to help out the families that are having a hard time. In fact in our family (on my husband's side...where there are the most kids) we have chosen to "adopt a family" this year and teach our kids (ages 13 down to 3) that Christmas is not just about GETTING presents and toys...but taking the time to help out someone else and learn the spirit of GIVING to others in need :)

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