How to make stepchild appreciate things?

Nickole - posted on 02/25/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




Today I told my 9 year old stepdaughter (who is here every other weekend and on Wednesdays) to clean out her input the things where they belong....I gave her a bag for trash...she put a TON of toys that were brand new that she had begged for at one point in time and special gifts that she had got from people such as a souvenir my parents got her from Mexico. I have a 3 year old son of my own and she always complains that he has more toys than her...She is never satisfied and there isn't much we can do b/c she goes back to her other parents and they spoil her...any Ideas on how make her appreciate what we do here at our house...we just built a brand new house and re did her room, and we try to make sure she doesn't feel left out but we always make her use her manners and she has chores to do when she is here...but talking to her doesn't help she seems to not care about anything we say...any ideas on what to do when she is only here a few days a month!!


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[deleted account]

If she is only there a few days a month, she does not need many toys. In fact, at 9, she doesn't need any--she should be spending her limited time at your house with you and her father doing family activities.

One method would be to give her an allowance and make her buy her own things, that way she will apreciate the effort she had to put into saving up for them. Make sure the amount is high enough that she can realistically buy things she wants, but low enough that she has to save up for bigger purchases, and cannot afford to buy EVERYTHING she wants whenever she wants it--she needs to learn to balance her spending.

She will likely enjoy the new power of being able to control what she buys, but a few weeks in, you may have to deal with a sulky attitude when she cannot afford a toy she wants. When that happens, just remind her that in a few weeks, she will have enough money, or let her do extra work around the house to save up faster. When she does finally get the toy, she will cherish it more, and she will start to understand the effort you put into purchasing things for her.

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