How to start the sex talk with 11yr son?

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

My son just turned 11 how do I talk about sex, std's the difference with Love and Just Sex?


Fabby - posted on 01/20/2010




Hmmmm, I guess the lack of replies speaks volumes! It can be a tough area.

My son is 11 now in last year of primary school.

I have always wanted to make sure that he isn't the kid in the playground who is laughed at by being totally ignorant to the personal stuff so we've fed tiny bits of low key info for a long time but in a matter of fact way. Not a big talk just informative.

We have talked about changes to the body and as he's become inquisitive I've added more. He knows things like he's going to grow hair, but I've also mentioned wet dreams. In the past he's known the seed from the man comes out of the penis and needs to reach the female to make babies but it's only this last year that we've mentioned penetration. He asked why the girls at school were invited to sex ed last year and not the boys so i explained about periods.

So basically it's drip feeding them not shock factor! Saying all that, whilst I know he can recite back to me stuff, at 11 he doesn't understand it all. Just knows it.

Yes definitely talk about sex but bring std's in casually and matter of factly. I think until kids experience hormonal changes themselves and actually feel turned on by others (cos lets face it - girls are horrible until then aren't they!) they won't need to know about the lust factor. They'l figure that soon enough.

We've talked about boys being just as responsible as the girl with sex and so it's his job to take on contraception too. Believing she is protected is not ok.

He asked me what a dildo was so I told him it was a toy used instead of a willy - he replied 'so a girl would put it in her?'. He has the info but we moved the conversation forward passed that and for now he does not appear to be dwelling on that, he just knows enough to be informed for now.

Soundlike I know what I'm talking about? Nope, I'm bricking it like every other mum hoping I succeed in being there for him when he goes against everything we've tought him regardless!

Good luck

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