[deleted account] ( 16 moms have responded )
My two boys have completely lost all respect for me! They dont listen, they talk back, Scream at me and pretty much do what they want in this house! I have tried everything! Nothing seems to work. I always have to ask them several times nicely but they never listen and I ALWAYS end up yelling. My husband and I are newly seperated and he just hears me yelling all the time and saying to me that maybe he should have custody. He doesnt seem to understand. For instance today, We get home from school and I am carrying all their things in from the car. By the time I get into the house they have already started eating snacks and the fridge door is wide open... I yelled at them, and happened to be on the phone with him at the same time so ... He starting yelling at me. I dont care if they want a snack but they should ask. Dinner is only an hour away from that time and a small snack should do. There are endless examples I could give but this is already too long! Please... Any suggestions???
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Krissy - posted on 11/12/2011
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yes, add structure, clear consequences and try to take away yelling...
But most important, it sounds like your boys and you need to start enjoying one another again.
We go through phases here when I, as mom am more burned out and I don't take the time to just really love on my kids...
These are the times when I yell more and when they disrespect more. I'm in no way saying that you should neglect the rules or laying boundaries or enforcing them, but be sure that the in between times are full of fun for you... all three of you! When your kids have a good relationship with you, they are A LOT more respectful and milder discipline is usually enough.
((speaking from experience here LOL!!!)))
Ginger - posted on 11/15/2008
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I would first try to take a deep breath and stop yelling. I know it will be hard but yelling only leads to more yelling. Next, I would make a list of house rule ( doesn't have to be long) and go over it with the boys along with the consequences for breaking those rules. Next time they leave you to carry their stuff,walk right up to them, take their snacks and send them back to the car to get their things! You might also try some counseling b/c of the recent separation. You and your kids are dealing with a huge life change and even in the "friendliest" separations, kids are feeling angry and hurt and mourning the loss of their family as they know it. You don't deserve disrespect from you kids and shouldn't tolerate it. Let them know that you will only listen if they are calm and respectful and lead by example. No one can keep their cool all the time but the more you, and they, practice it the easier it will be. The first few weeks will be rough, but if you stick to it and don't back down about respect they will come around. Hope things get better for you!