Is it ok for my toddler not to tell us what he does at school?

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

My 4 1/2 year old has been going to pre-school since he was 3 years old. He loves to go to school, likes the environment, likes his friends and the teachers. He's clearly happy when he goes to school, he's happy when he comes from school, his teachers tell us great things about him, he's well mannered and gets along really well with everyone at school. But when he comes from school, we ask him what he does in class and he refuses to give us an answer. Not once he ever tells us what he does in class! His answer is always "it's a secret"! We're patiently waiting for the day he can decide to tell us what he does at school. We know he enjoys learning and has lots of fun at school but he just refuses to tell us what he learns and does at school. Can someone help me and explain what this means? Is it normal behaviour? Is it something we should worry about? Has any other parent or parents gone through this? Thank you so much.


View replies by

Allene - posted on 03/08/2013




I once read an article on getting kids to share stuff about their day, after me asking and getting "I don't remember" as a reply. It suggested to ask your child to talk about three things that went on during his day. It worked like a charm for me. Good luck.

Anna - posted on 03/06/2013




Dont worry about it. My daughters the same she slips up sometimes and tells us about a song they've learnt etc. i ask what she had for lunch was it nice or not who she sat next to etc but i can never get an answer to what she learnt! Majority of the parents i know are in the same boat. Ask other parents you may get some leading qestions also phone school and ask, if you tell him you know what he's done he may reveal more? X

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/04/2013



2015 4, you're not going to get a dissertation of how his day was. At 4, you need to kind of lead him towards what you're looking for. For example:

"Son, did you have fun at school today?"
"Yes, momma"
"What did you do at school? "
"It's a secret"
"did you play with blocks?"
At this point, your son may actually open up..."yep, we played with blocks, and then we played with trucks, and we put the blocks in the trucks..."

He may not have the idea of what you want from him when you ask him what he did at school, because they do SO MUCH during a day at preschool!

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