Is it unfair to want to relocate?

Nicole - posted on 03/22/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am a 30 yr old mom of a 15 year old and a 6 year old, both girls. Roughly 8 years ago when my oldest was 8 years old I got married (not to her father since I was 15 when i had her) and moved an hour away from my family, friends and job. I found a new job closer and had another girl a year after, my 6 year old. 4 years ago I got divorced and have a great coparenting relationship with my youngsters dad. I found new love and eventually moved in and am living as a blended family with my significant other. He has a 12 year old boy. When I first met him I had a job offer near my folks and friends and I declined it because we had just met, the kids had started a new year of school and I convinced myself it wasn't the right time. I applied for a couple of others since but nothing came of them. 4 years later I applied for another and I have another shot. I talked with my S.O. and he was outraged. He said he refuses to move in that direction since his job and son are here. I said I was willing to compromise and only move halfway, 30 mins, and he still refuses. He says this is a bad idea and that I am being selfish. Despite him, my connections and family are all there not here, I moved here for my ex husband when we were married. My ex husband is willing to work out a schedule for my youngest so I have no issues there. I didn't expect my be so closed minded and to just flat out say no with no compromise. After two weeks of discussions he finally said he would move in 7 years when his son is out of high school, that's it. I feel like there is a condition or expectation on our relationship now that in order for us to be together I HAVE to stay here. I am still shocked by it all. I have all this anger and disappointment and resentment towards him now since I have always said I wanted to get closer to my "home" and he never said any of this before. Am I being unreasonable?
Thank you for your time and suggestions.


Amy - posted on 03/22/2013




You only talk about your visitation you don't talk about what impact this will have on your SO visitation with his son. Without that information I can't say if you are being unreasonable. I don't think 30 minutes is a lot but I also would love to have my parents only an hour away from me.

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