My 4 yr old is acting like my 1yr do i stop it?

Tootie - posted on 03/04/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )




For the past few months my 4yr old has been whinning to the point where she will whinne because the Wii controlers need to be charged, because she wants a sandwich instead of chicken..I mean crying, stomping and mumblng under her breath, she's just smart enough NOT to fall out,lol but seriously IDK what to do anymore. I do whop my children.My 2 yr old and the 4yr. They do get the belt. Thats mine and her fathers choice but i had to Stop whooping her because she was staying in SO MUCH Trouble that she would have been getting whoopings ALL Day and that started feeling like abuse so i stopped whooping her. Time outs and things like that don't work..Should I continue to try and disciplin her or will she just randomly grow out of it. It's driving me crazy and I'm starting not to even want to take her n public with me. But she acts JUST FINE in school..What do I Do


Rebecca - posted on 03/05/2010




i will state upfront that i don't believe in smacking because it doesn't teach a child a thing, except fear.

my older daughter who is 6 does her fair share of whining also. i have several strategies, which i use depending on my mood, depending on what seems appropriate at the time, depending on what the whining is about... here are some of my techniques:

1. if they whine about something that can't be changed, i simply say, "We can't control that. There's no point in whining about things you can't control. You just have to accept them." if she continues whining about it after that, i tell her: 'I don't want to hear another words out of your mouth until you can talk in a normal voice.' If she continues to whine after that, 'I say go to your room and stay there until you are ready to talk in a normal voice.' Nowadays, she goes of her own accord, and comes out when she is ready to talk normally. but when she was younger I would physically put her in her room, she would scream, and I would hold the door shut, after (1 minute per age of child) I would go in and ask if they are ready to calm down and talk in a normal voice. she would calm down after that.

2. if she is whining because she wants my help or attention, I say: 'I don't want to give attention to someone whose talking in that voice, it hurts my ears.' after that i just ignore her... she'll usually continue whining for a bit, but after a minute or two come and talk to me in a normal voice and then i give her positive attention immediately or if I am busy, I say 'give me two minutes' or whatever time it will take.

3. if she's whining about food, it's simply: eat what's in front of you or go hungry. I don't want to hear another word about it. if she continues i say: 'I said not one more word.' sometimes i have to say that a second time, but never more.

4. if she is whining because she is hurt -- well i accept that it will cause whining, and I tell her hush hush in a gentle way, ow, i can see that hurts, calm down, calm down. and she usually after i've acknowledged her pain.

hope those techniques help.

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