My 5 yr old daughters imaginary family has me worried.

Crystal - posted on 09/13/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




As long as I can remember, my daughter has had an imaginary family, a husband and some kids and pets. It was always cute until recently when she started talking about her useless husband(which was funny) but then she would tell people that he killed one of her children. She tells everyone about it so its starting to get worrisome. Her dads a good guy, we don't have a dysfunctional family, very little arguing. She watches Discovery channel and Nogin, She does obsorb everything, even in passing. Do you think this is a fase? Do I ignore it? Did she catch something on tv in passing? Please advise.


Lynn (Linda) - posted on 09/13/2009




At 5 years old a child is starting to retain every thing they see, hear and learn. Your daughter has picked up on this pretend family from something she has seen (be it on television or during some part of her everyday life) it is natural and normal for "only children" to development a strong imagination and sometimes imaginary friend situations. However, it is not natural for them to develop violent settings and should be consulted by a physician. Is she in daycare? do you and your spouse fight in front of her? has she been left with a family member or friend that is portraying a violent situation in front of her? Has someone told her they were going to kill her? These are all questions that need to be answered and you should let your family physician handle it. This is NOT a phase and should NOT be treated as one.

[deleted account]

I think it's normal... she's still young and did probably catch something in passing, on tv, commercial, another friend, or maybe one of your friends complaining. I do think it's gonna pass. The best thing I think to do is just play the game with her. Pretend with her. Be on her level. A counsler once told me the best thing you can do, is talk to her at her "age." remember she's 5? and speak to her as a 5 year old would... as best you can. with some conversation and understanding, her friends may find "other" friends and fade away? try not to worry to much. If she absorbs everything, maybe she's just bored and making her own fun...


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Daisha - posted on 09/14/2009




my 6 year old daughter has had an imaginary "grandmother" since she could talk. they've traveled all over the place and done crazy things like sky diving. there hasn't been anything violent or scary though. as a little boy one of my brother had an imaginary friend and after a while the "friend" started pushing the rest of us siblings around and telling my brother to do or try bad or dangerous things.
the silly and fun is normal, violent and/or dangerous is not and needs to be dealt with. my mom took my brother aside and told him that he needed to tell his "friend" that it was time to move because "we don't tolerate this behavior in our house". it worked. that imaginary friend went away and my brother moved on to other things.
you could try something similar but if that doesn't work i strongly recommend some professional advice.

Karrie - posted on 09/13/2009




Yeah she maybe picked it up or had a dream of sorts. My son had a "dream" when he was really little that he lived in China, had a master who taught him and the whole 9 yards. He told everyone about where he came from. I thought it was cute but I did have to tell him the truth, that it must have been a dream. I would ask her about her "family" and question the husband, see if she knows anyone else with that problem, let her know that's not nice, and if it keeps going talk her into getting him some help or a new husband! I try to not even let my kids think that way, My oldest Son's Dad who was my husband was killed, so I really try not to let that train of thought in at all.

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