playing dumb?

Emilie - posted on 10/30/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )




My son has been having problems with homework, It has been going on a while. I thought that maybe it was to hard for him, it would take him hours to do his homework, he even told me he didn't know how to do the work. I tryed helping him, it was a nightmare it totally stressed me out helping him. I had a meeting with his teacher today, and she says he is doing just fine in class, that he is one of her best students. Why is he acting like he doesn't know the material?


Clare - posted on 10/30/2009




Is he trying to get your attention? (just doing it the wrong way) Have you tried getting him to do the work as soon after school as possible so you can plan a activity together for afterwards - something which you both will really enjoy? My son also has his moments (some of them longer than others!) when homework is the last thing on his mind - I tell him you only need to do 30 minutes (he is only 7) and then the day is yours....he also knows that no homework done no sport.


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Lori - posted on 11/01/2009




Hi, my son does just the opposite. He does not let his teacher's know that he can do the school work or read. They have tested him to see if he qualifies for resource, but when he takes the test he passes them. On the other hand, with homework, it takes me longer to get him to do it. It may take an hour to get then takes him 10 minutes to do it. We have let his teacher know and now he will push our son to do his school work.

Amanda - posted on 10/31/2009




same thing going on with my nephew...he just dont want to do it...and when they are stubborn like that they will use any excuse...and if they act like they cant do it they think u or someone else will do it for them...just keep at it and let him have a break between coming home from school and starting homework...and make it fun...have him explain it to u the way the teacher explained it in school and act like he is really teaching it to u like u had no idea...may make him more interested because he thinks he is really teaching u something..and makes him feel more special with what he knows...

Louisa - posted on 10/31/2009




Im not sure how this advice is going to sound but here goes. He has school for school stuff, and home time he just wants to do home stuff, play, watch tv, be with family etc, so he probably just doesnt wanna do school stuff at home too. I can only tell you what I've done, but my son is 13, so you may need to feel your way around it, in regards to your sons age. But I heard someone say once, its the school that gives it out, so let the school deal with it if its not done.Why should there be stress at your home through something the school hands out? So with me, I ask my son if he has homework, are you going to do it etc? and do you realise what the consequences are if you dont do it?? Then make sure there is a time for him to do it, (need a bit of extra encouragement), a place for him to do it, then if he doesnt do it, the consequences are his.
As I said before this needs to be worked out in relation to your sons age and what he understands about consequences and 'rewards'.
All the best and I hope you sort out something soon.
by the way, if the teacher says he's doing fine, and one of her best students, you dont have much to worry about eh ? well done mum !!

Chantel - posted on 10/31/2009




I agree with a lot of what has been said. He may be wanting your attention. Try planning a fun activity for AFTER the work is done and see if he's a bit more motivated. Putting homework before fun time outside, with friends, or sports is a great idea and will likely be the push he needs to get it done unless he's really needing your attention over the other things. And I guess the questions I'm wondering is if this happens a lot, or was it a one time (or one topic) thing. Perhaps he was just struggling with the initial learning of something and you tried to help him through it. If it happens frequently, but he still does well in school, then you may have to stay away and let someone else be the homework helper. The teacher should know your child pretty well by now. You can ask him/her for ideas, too.

Rochelle - posted on 10/30/2009




ahhh we had the same issue w/ our oldest daughter, some of it was for attention, but then we found out with some counseling for other issues, that she was also diagnosed ADD, we have found a happy "medium" with her now... but also now our youngest daughter is a breeze at all subjects just recently like your son she "forgets" things she learned or says i got a "B" when you know she could have had the A and made simple mistakes on purpose, when confronted she will say Mom for once i don't want to be the smartest kid in the class, I wanted to see what a B felt like ...

Sandi - posted on 10/30/2009




One of my daughters does the same thing - she doesn't want to try and do it wrong in front of ME. She will do it for anyone else - so, I put my sister in charge of homework. I was so sure that she was having trouble with reading, so sure her twin was waaay ahead of her - until I got their grade cards. Zoe is reading two levels above where she is supposed to be. . . and Neely is reading three above. So, now when she says it is too hard, or she doesn't know how, I just tell her "I am not going to play that game with you. I will help you if you need it, but I know you can do it. And if you are off a bit, then we will work on how to figure out how to make it right. Or you can go do it with Daddy or Jo Jo. But I'm not playing that game." So far, it has worked. I am not a good teacher. I don't understand why someone doesn't understand what I understand (understand? LOL). So, I know I get a little impatient and short with the kids. which is why she doesn't want to work in front of me, and why others are better. And I'm okay with that, as long as she gets it done one way or t'other!

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