What do you do when you and your child's ex disagree on something that might be best for your child?

Myloe - posted on 11/21/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




Over the last year, my child has been asking to be homeschooled. Since I am on disability, I would be able to do that logistically but at first I said no way. I have to admit I thought homeschool was mostly for people of different religions or things like that. But then I saw an ad for a homeschool program in our state, actually a national program that has been accepted in our state, that is completely accredited by the state school board, completely free, and you get books, equipment, and everything they would use in a classroom free of charge. In addition, they have real, licensed teachers that they are taught by via internet web camera chat so I am considered a "learning coach" not her main and only teacher which I would not feel qualified to be. There is also a 24/7 student chat room so she can make friends and they do group activities and field trips 1-2 times per month plus students are encouraged to meet friends other times on their own. So the socialization worry that usually comes with homeschool is not really an issue in my eyes.

Anyway, my daughter really wants to do this. I, the one who would be doing it in my home and doing the work with her, is willing to try it for a semester. She is having a lot of trouble in school right now and I feel it would be better to pull her out at the end of this semester rather than waiting until she is expelled. But her father has totally put his foot down. He has given lots of reasons but his main two reasons seems to be that 1. If I cannot control her enough to get her to school in regular school how am I going to make her do her work when she is surrounded by all her toys and T.V. and such, and 2. He feels that giving in and letting her do homeschool now would be rewarding the negative behavior she has been expressing this semester towards school.

So, sorry for the long post but here is the main question: My ex and I usually work really well together when it comes to our daughter. But we are at an impass here. He says absolutely not. I think we should try it for the spring semester then evaluate. What do I do when we can't come to a compromise, we have shared custody, and each of us feels so strongly on our positions?


Denikka - posted on 11/21/2011




I'm fighting this same battle with my hubby. I want to homeschool when the kids reach that age, he says no way, they should be in public school.

There may be a way to compromise. I don't know where you live or what programs your area may have, but maybe look into an alternate learning program.
There were a variety to choose from when I was in school. The one that I chose was essentially a very small school. There were only 4 teachers (and a couple of aids) and, depending on the course, you could do things at your own pace. Kind of a mix of homeschooling and public schooling. There were a lot of troubled kids there, although none violent or things like that.
I went because me and some of my teachers couldn't get along, especially regarding grades (I was failing 2 courses because the teachers didn't like me (I tended to correct their mistakes XD) and had *lost* my work or refused to accept my grades because a sub had marked it and they *believed* I was cheating)
It was a fantastic environment for me.
There was also things like distance education. You could go into the building and do your work there. There were teachers to ask if you had any questions, but the work was completely independent. Alternatively, with the same program, you can also do the work at home. They give you packages of work to do, you self mark those packages, and then go in for tests at the end of each module.

Look into all your options. It doesn't have to be just homeschool OR public/private schooling. There are some great mixes out there.

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