What would you do?

Toni - posted on 05/22/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )




I have a child that is 6 yrs old. He adores my best friend. She has been there in his life since he was born. She is even his god mother. Lately though she hasn't been around. Not that she is working or busy, but she just hasn't been around. Well it's no big deal to me, but my son is feeling real bad. I just don't know what to tell him. He used to look forward to her visits. She used to come to his parties, events, whatever it was. Now nothing. She missed his Christmas concert, and his birthday. At one point I had to tell him my best friend was on vacation. It really hurts him. He's graduating from Kindergarten and she hasn't said one thing to us about it. Not even a call. When and of she does come around, she isn't that nice to my child anymore. She seems annoyed by him. I just don't know what to tell my son since he adores her so much.

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Toni - posted on 06/01/2011




@Christy When did I ever say she needed to be at 'everything'? My son has friends. When someone that has been apart of his life suddenly stops coming around it can be hard for them to understand. I was seeking advice, not a remark such as yours. Thank you everyone else for your kind words. :) I was able to talk to her and work it out. It's nice to see people give advice without being rude.

Christy - posted on 05/31/2011




She shouldn't need to be to all your son's events. She's your best friend, not his best friend. See if you can get a sitter and find some time just for her and you. I'm betting she's got a trial of some sort that she doesn't want to weigh you down with. Remind her that you're best friends and that you're there for her, no matter what. That's what friends are for.

As for your son, help him find some friends his age to have play dates with, even if that involves you making new friends or hanging out with different people. If your best friend was grandma and she quit coming, that might be a big deal.

Heidi - posted on 05/31/2011




I would for sure talk to your friend and find out what's going on. Let her know that she is hurting your son and it hurts you to see him like that. As for you son, it can be very hard to explain grown up things. The father of my older two has always been in and out of their lives, more out then in. Here are some things you can say that might help and not really lying. You can tell him that she really loves him but could be busy so can come around so much. You can just tell him that you aren't really sure why she has been around and you know it makes him said and give him a hug. Tell him you will talk with her to see what is going on. Just kind of tell him the truth but in a lil boy way of understanding.

Michelle - posted on 05/23/2011




I agree. I would tell my daughter the truth too, and I would also talk to my friend and find out whats going on with her. There is obviously something wrong and being bestfriends you should able to talk to each other

Jane - posted on 05/22/2011




I suggest you reach out to her, maybe invite her to have coffee or something with you, and simply ask her what is going on. It may turn out that she really has been busy, or it may turn out that there is something going on in her life that is weighing her down. All you can do is ask her.

Isabel - posted on 05/22/2011




Maybe she has some personal problems going on that you don't know about. I think it would be a good idea to talk to her about the situation. After all, she is your best friend & communication is in important. As to your son, I don't know what you could tell him. I have a 6yr old son too & I don't think I would lie to him (this just me). Children are very smart & can sense when we lie to them as we can when they lie to us or are up to something. Best of luck resolving this

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