When is a good time to have "the talk" with my daughter?

Amber - posted on 03/25/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )




My daughter is almost 10. She is going through the whole puberty thing (except for period). She is already interested in boys and gushes about how cute he is or he is fine! She has some understanding of sex just from watching tv or movies. Is she old enough? I kind of talked to her over spring break about it and she acted like she didnt understand. Is it too soon or not. Kids are younger and younger and as a matter of fact, a 10 year old girl got pregnant by her 9 year old boyfriend and didnt know that is how pregnancy happens! I know, I know, where were the parents! But with all this in mind, I feel she is old enough and I don't want to wait until it is too late.


Amber - posted on 04/04/2010




There is no " one' talk about something like this.. All I know about sex,boys & puberty i certainly did not learn from one sit down talk with my parents. Most of what i learnt I had read in books . Other things, you hear from friends or experience them yourself.

The biggest gift you can give your daughter right now is trust. Don't approach her and expect a conversation. Just tell her " olivia, you're getting to be a teenager soon, and lots of great things happen to you when you are turning into a teenager. Some things can be confusing and you might not know what to do about them, I want you to know that I've been through a lot of things, most of what you will go through,and when they happen, you can trust me to help you with them, and keep them private. I will try to answer any questions you have about your body, boys, sex and anything else you ask. You can come to me anytime you like. "

Just let her know that YOU trust HER, you're ready to listen ( without judgment) you're mature enough to inform her, and you are ok with her curiosity.

This is something that will be a quick question that pops up while you're doing yard work or the dishes.

You can really open these doors with more ease if you set up " talk time".. most times, girls won't talk about this stuff until they are alone with the person the trust. So, set a up a time once a week just for talk time.Go grab a coffee and just sit in your vehicle..

show her it's important that you talk about these things with her, tell her that of course her friends are going to have all sorts of crazy ideas and their own versions of things but just tell her to trust herself, respect herself and be true toherself.

It's true.. the kids that get into the most trouble with this sort of stuff are the kids that are mis-informed.. or not informed at all.


View replies by

Semantha - posted on 04/03/2010




I gave both of my daughter's a book "The Girls Guide To Everything" (I think thats the title!) that was fantastic! Each chapter tackled a different are of a young girls life-Hygiene, Making Friends (including what to do about bullies, and when you best friend of the week betrays you type stuff), Knowing their Body, etc. I had them read a chapter then we would talk about it later. The last chapters dealt with sex n babies, etc, and those we talked in more detail about. I recommend this way b/c they can hole up in their room, comfortably, and read about the stuff that makes them blush, then get the clarification from you. :)

Angelina - posted on 04/02/2010




You sure it was the nine year old??? That seems awful young to be able to father a child unless he was already in puberty. I am not sure when sperm cells generate for boys but it is almost unbelieveable that a nine yr old could father a baby. The parents may really need to take a deeper look into this matter...

As to your situation, I agree, ask your daughter what she knows and then educate her according to what is true and accurate. I would not use kiddie words but would call each part of the anatomy just what it is called. Don't have any websites or any literature handy but there are many helps available to get you going on this.

Best wishes to...

Cherise - posted on 03/29/2010




I completely agree with them both. Kids are beginning to experiment with sex or sexual jestures around middle school, however, the age group is getting younger and younger each year and its best to educate your child about the subject matter as soon as you can in before peer pressure turns towards them. Its a touchy subject and a scary thought but I believe its best to be more safe than sorry this day and age...

Danielle - posted on 03/29/2010




My daughter just turned 11 and we have already talked about sex. It is important that she gets correct information from a parent she can trust instead of hearsay from kids at school. It may seem a little uncomfortable, but not as much so as her getting into trouble. I would ask what she already knows and what she has questions about. Just let her know that she should always come to you with any questions. It's a scary world out there and it's getting to the point where you can't even turn your tv on anymore. After explaining the technicalities, I would definitely put in your moral values. Not only what the consequences can be, but what is expected from her and what is acceptable behavior and why. It is important that our kids know how we feel, even if they don't always listen. If we keep reminding them, it is more likely to sink in. Good luck

Pamela - posted on 03/29/2010




I heard about that on the news. I suggest sitting your daughter down and asking her what she knows. Its really simple as that. I work part time at an school, and let me tell you...they know more than what we want them to know! So I would sit her down, and ask her what she knows about boys and sex.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms