Is it right for me to be irritated when a friend brings their sick child over to my house?

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

My neighbour came over for dinner the other night with her 3 kids, and while they were here her 4 year old kept coughing all over the place. When I asked "Is he sick?" She replied, "No. He just has a tickle in his throat." And then he continued to cough all over the place for the next hour.
Now my son, two days later, developed the the "tickle" and was up half the night coughing and crying. I think my 10 month old might be getting it too.
In addition to that being irritating, I have friends coming over for Thanksgiving dinner (we're in Canada), and both families have babies--one is a newborn--and they won't want to come over if my son is hacking all over the place. Because, I tell my friends when my kids are sick so that they can decide for themselves.
I understand that kids can pick up illness everywhere--my son is in preschool so I know-- but I would have opted for not having my kids exposed to it when I have the choice; especially when I have a turkey defrosted and a house full of guests expected.
This just seems like bad manners to me, and very inconsiderate. Am I overreacting or should I speak to this person about how I feel to avoid this problem in the future?


Ashley - posted on 03/08/2012




You have every right to be irritated. I have friends with young children like mine and if my child is sick I always tell them so they know not to bring their children over with them to avoid spreading it. She should definitely have told you that her child was sick because it was your decision to make as to whether you wanted to take that risk.

Denikka - posted on 10/10/2011




No, I think it's very rude to force someone to be in the presence of a sick person in their own home. I think it's just as rude when parents send their sick kids to school or daycare.
She definitely should have told you and let you decide if you were okay with the risk.
I know this sounds overreacting, but maybe bring up the worse case scenario when you talk to her. Children react to different illnesses in different ways. What may just be sniffles and a grumbly tummy for one kid can land another kid in the hospital with 103* fever, explosive vomiting and diarrhea. How would she feel if she caused your child to become violently ill, or if someone else cause it in HER child, just because they couldn't be bothered to stay home when the kid was sick.
Just remind her that it's common courtesy to keep our germs to ourselves (as I was taught in grade 1 :P)


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