am i wrong for not wanting my babys dad there when he gets here

Megan - posted on 06/10/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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ok so im 31 weeks and the babys dad wants to be with another girl and do drugs!!!and i dont want him around our son!!! but he says no matter wat i do he will still see his son wat do i do?????

5 Comments

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Wanona - posted on 09/20/2010

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I am in the same boat ladies. My son is eleven years old now and doing swell. His dad decides he still wanted to live a selfish lifestyle and not assume the proper responsibility for his only child. Drugs and alcohol to be exact. I felt he would not be a good role model for our son so I left him to his oh so important lifestyle and have never looked back. I've had men to call me selfish but I look at it as this He aint my husband. I owe him nothing and give all of me to my son. We are fine. And my son understands why. When he asked questions, I told him the age appropriate truth. And now, we are living in the sunshine with no regrets!

Raven - posted on 07/05/2010

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My baby's dad did the same exact thing.. I didn't put him on the birth certificate.. but i would like it him to be in my son's life, just because it's his dad... I look at it as no they don't need to have them alone, but supervised visits are good.. and give him one time and one time only... he screws up he's done.. you or your child, especially your child, does not need to go through it... you will have a child to take care of and won't have time to play his stupid games.. your the mama its your responsibility to keep him from harm.. because its not his fault his dad is a low life.. he's got you and if nothing works out thats all he needs:) my son is a month old now.. and the dad still has not seen him.. and i couldn't be happier:) got hiim all to myself.. good luck:)

April - posted on 06/14/2010

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I no u dont want around, but u can let c his son but he cant take him no where,

Wendy - posted on 06/12/2010

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dont put him on the birth cert what ever you do , that automatically gives him 50/50 rights and if he can be bothered will have to jump through lots of hoops to prove his paternity and have his name put on there. with his name not on it there is not alot he can do. so could take couple of years if he can be bothered and is still alive after doing his drugs, in my opinion he wont bother cos it wont be his priority the drugs will be.so leave him off the cert and wait and see . if he does it all it will take time the baby will be older you can do it so he can only see her at a centre with others arround cos of the drugs as well he would have to do blood tests and prove he was not on them to over turn that. dont offer to have him at your house for visits cos your making a ord for your own back trust me i know. goodluck huni i dont envy you at all. but fight for your child cos it wounds to me that it would be at risk with its dad. DO NOT PUT DADS NAME ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE EVEN IF HE SUDDENLY TURNS NICE . this is power for them . but if he can and does prove he is the dad insist he see it at a special centre. your midwife/health vis should be able to tell you of one local if not a solicetor can sort it all for you. xx

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