Competing with "Disney Dad"

Josie - posted on 01/02/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

3

8

0

Anyone out there have a disney dad? You know one that doesn't see them often but when they do...never disipline and spoils them so when they come home all they want is to "go live with daddy". The dad that doesn't make them brush their teeth, or take a bath... doesn't have to take them to the doctor or dentist... doesn't fight with them everyday to do their homework or keep their room clean... doesn't have them EARN priviledges but gives them everything...



I am the "bad" one in this. I hate hearing "I want to go live with daddy". I hate "retraining him" when he gets back home. It is tough. Anyone out there dealing with this? If so... any advice?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jax - posted on 01/21/2009

8

13

3

I broke up with my husband recently and although they don't say I want to go live with my dad I get mummy why did you make daddy go. I feel like I want to scream as I loved my husband very much and it took alot to come to the decision of making him move out we were argueing alot and it started to become violant it breaks my heart when they say that as I know they don't fully understand but it also makes me so angry with them. Dad was the one who stayed at home and I work (still do) now I have to do all the housework and everything else on top of being so depressed that my marraige has failed and feel like I wanna scream What about Me?????? daddy hit me and mummy didn't like it now mummys trying her best to give a good life and all you care about is daddy daddy daddy god that feels so much better. Okay rant over how long does your ex have your little un for? and what days if he's having him every weekend then he has no real responcibilty other than to make sure he's fed and looked after. Have you tried letting your ex having him on a school night so that he has to get little un in the morning and get him to school on time with a lunch box and looking respectable instead of having to just make sure his face is washed and chucking on what ever he wants to wear? he would have to make sure he went to bed at reaonable hour you can see where i'm going with this I hope during the week there is a lot more thing we mums have to do where as the weekend dads can be relaxed and laid back Try doing it so that one week he has him at the weekend and the other week he has him 2 nights during the week leaving you time at the weekend to spend some quality time with little un hope this helps tc xxxx

Elizabeth - posted on 01/29/2009

1

35

0

My ex is the same way, promises them everything and tells them when he sees them he is going to give them this and this and this. Then he never shows up (he moved across the country). And then makes me look like the bad guy, telling them well mommy did not really want me to come. They then question me about how come I don't want him to come and see them etc. It is bull crap!! And I don't think it is ever going to end. Also he has not given me a dime in 11 months and expects me to just hand over the kids when he shows up, how about some support for the kids I am raising on my own... while I am a full time student!! My 4 year old asks me all the time why I can't take her up to see her dad, and I tell her if he wants to see you, he will come here and see you. So I guess I really don't have advice either but I am in the same situation, you are not alone!!

6 Comments

View replies by

Brett - posted on 07/10/2009

7

13

1

josie. dam, honey all i can say is i know wot yr saying. my adcice would be stay true to ur self and wot u believe ur imparting into ur lil man. one day like my kids who r now 13 &16,come to me and say "u did a good job dad". darl it will break ur heart time and time again. be strong and he will cirtainly come up one day, wit respect in his eyes and on his face and say a big thanks mum for being thier and teaching me the things u did.

Candice - posted on 07/09/2009

1,721

18

305

my ex is disney dad to his other kids (from his marriage) and i'm sure he will be to my daughter too when she is old enough to care. the funny thing is, i learned what to do when i was dating him and his kids came home from their mom's...



we told the kids "there are rules at dad's house and rules at mom's house. when you are at dad's house, you live by dad's rules". surprisingly, it worked quickly, even on the 4 year old daughter.



as for competing, don't bother. kids know more than we think. and they eventually grow up to be adults who form their own opinions of their parents. and as they grow they form memories, not of objects, but of who spent time with them, who they could rely on, who was there when they were sick, or hurt, or sad. if you can't afford to or just don't want to compete with "disney dad", make sure you spend quality time with them...that's what they will remember most. my fondest memories of my mom are o eating pb&j sandwiches at lunch with her and her being there when i got home from school to ask me about my day. and my mom was as FRUGAL as they come.



doesn't mean it's not aggrivating...i gave my ex shit for taking his kids to hockey games and cosmic adventures when he hasn't paid me a dime in child support. yes. it's aggravating! but i know his game...and i know his kids...and i know all they want from him is his time...which he doesn't give them enough of...so they take his bribes as a cheap substitute. but it doesn't make them happier.

Gill - posted on 01/22/2009

11

11

3

my ex has bought our 3 yr old a pair of shoes and given me £40, that is in 14 months, i work to support my two daughters, (only 1 with him) he see's her sporadically, and he recently told me he wanted to take her abroad on hols. i have told him No, why should he be the one to have flash holidays with her whilst i like u has to do the day to day living with her.

i would ask, how old are your children, can u explain things to them, i have now told Him he cannot se her again until he starts to support her.

can u talk to your ex? if u are on ok terms, maybe thats the way to go.

soz not much advice, but at least u know u not only 1 who has a crap ex!!

Katy - posted on 01/17/2009

7

40

1

my little girl is only 14 months so shes not started with wanting to live with daddy yet, but, he does exactly the same when hes around. he doesnt see her much so he only sees her around me, but he brings her expensive toys to buy her love and he actually went to give her coke the other day even though i said no because 'she wanted it'... i can see its just gona get worse but im hoping shell be sensible and as she gets older shell understand what hes like and see that the 'nice' things daddy does are not so nice!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms