Do I stand a chance at full custody?

Connie - posted on 05/30/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )




I will try to make this as short as possible but need to say a few things so that you can get a better picture of what I'm dealing with. Hopefully, you can make sense of what I will say here. I will be skipping thru the years so that I dont go on and on.

1997 Married the now ex

1997 - present: have dealt with abuse, lies, cheating, threats, manipulation, etc

1999 - our son is born

1999 - 2005 - stay at home mom

1999 - present - 4 restraining orders filed against ex (all failed because I didn't have solid proof of his abuse towards me and kids)

2006 - our daughter is born (I was forced into sex this night by my ex)

8 1/2 months pregnant - ex has affair

2007 - I file for divorce

2006/07 - Kids witness many hostile fights between ex and his girlfriend

2007 - girlfriend breaks up with ex threatening to get a restraining order against him (her and her grandmother threatened this..I went and talked to her and she said he abused her very bad also)

2007- me and ex reunite because of believable begging that he has changed. 3 months later he is having another affair. This girl becomes pregnant. He and my kids move in with her.

2007 - After ex's child is born, ex and girlfriend break up.

2007 - ex comes back and I take him back (for the LAST time)

1 month later he is back with the girlfriend and moves in with her again taking the kids with him.

2008 - 2 weeks ago, my son tells me that he knows his dad lies alot.

2008 - weeks ago - ex makes my son look like a big liar when it is the ex that is son is confused as to why his dad is doing this.

There is so much more. Probably some important info that I'm leaving out. I do not have solid proof to offer the court to show all of this abuse, etc. I want to go for full custody with supervised visitation ONLY. Do I stand a chance to receive this?

When I say he moves the kids in with her I mean when its on his time. We share custody but I am the legal custodian.

I want to add this: my kids, mainly my son, has seen his dad go from this family to another affair person, back here, to another affair person, back here and back to the other affair person again. Each time returning home, the ex swore and cried in front of the kids saying he is home for good and that things are going to be so different and that we will be an awesome, loving family. He continues to say this up until the day he leaves to go to his affair person. Each time he turns to my kids and tells them I am a no good mental case and thats why he keeps leaving me. He tells them that his affair person (whoever it is at the time) will make a far better mom than me and that they are getting married. His life is an extrememly unstable one and at my house, there is stability. My kids have NEVER seen me with another man and no other man has EVER slept here at my house. To be honest, i havent even been with anyone else. It is all these things that makes me wonder if I stand a chance in court to get full custody or supervised visitation.


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[deleted account]

I bet a lawyer could tell you better. Look up legal aid and pro bono lawyers and stuff to find an opinion. I know that in my case, the divorce was born of alcoholism. I didn't need hard proof he was alcoholic (though a hair follicle test would've done it), I had affidavits from people who knew both of us that he was unstable and seemed to have a problem. Police reports of the threats he made, things like that. I am willing to bet you could get full custody, but I don't know about supervised visitation as the supervised is usually for those endangering their children through proven abuse or substance related neglect. Find some legal advice and don't be afraid to try!

Nadia - posted on 06/06/2009




I am hoping you can, I dont know you but i will pray that everything goes well for you. i am also going to court for full cutody and a permanent order of protection and he is asking for unsupervised visitation, it is supervised until our next court date this month. i want supervised visits only. Me and my children also have also suffered from my ex abuse which i failed to report. I currently live at a domestic violence facility and am trying to put this behind me.

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