Her father doesn't show up!

Camilla - posted on 07/15/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hey, I have a daughter shes 1½ years old and until May this year her father and I have been together.
But on mothers day he suddenly left me! so now I am alone with a 1½ year old girl and I am 6 months pregnant!
My daughter hasn't seen her father in over 2 months now, and even though we make appointments he just doesn't show up!
He thinks it's more important to go out and drink whit the guys!!
I have stopped telling her that dad's coming over because I don't want her to get sad, what am I supposed to do?

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Jennifer - posted on 11/11/2011

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Document every missed appointment, keep track of phone calls and texts making said plans (if you can make and confirm them by email so you have a written record that you can print out all the better), get a lawyer and get a legal arrangement in writing from the Court. He's already been in her life this long, she in entitled to support and if he won't be there for her (and the new baby) physically and emotionally, then have the Court give you rights to a portion of his paycheck (aka child support).

I am a *itch when it comes to things like this. Almost nothing makes me madder than a non-custodial parent thinking they have the right to just pop in and out whenever it pleases THEM with no consequences.

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Lakisha - posted on 12/28/2011

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dont expect things from him, because you can not make a man be a father! extend offers to him and let that be that! the more he knows you expect it and he can alters your mood, then thats whats he going to do. realize that you may be doing things without him. so do just that, when he is their take that advatage of that, i have three kids, and my first two father and i was married. I was forced to a divorce, and now he gets him when its good for him. but what i learn if he gets them thats fine, and if not thats fine! Its his lost that he missing out of his children lives. that will see that! let her form her own thoughts about her father. support yourself with a community of llike minded mothers. if you have family support or not!, please keep your expectations of him based on what he does and not what you want you would like for him to do!

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Definitely don't tell her unless he's actually there. Make arrangements for him to see her and leave it up to him whether or not he follows through.

My 9.5 year old twin girls and 3.25 year old son only see their father 2-3 times/year. In fact, they've been w/ him for 3 weeks right now and still have a week to go. It's harder on ME than it is on them cuz to them... this is just the way life is and they are used to it.

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