Need some advice on letting my son contact his father.

Julie - posted on 04/13/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi, I'm looking for some advice on how to go about this. I'm a single mom of 3 children. My 11 year old daughter's father has always been a big part of our life despite our breakup when she was just 1 year old. When she was 3 years old I got pregnant with my now 7 year old son from another man who he has met and seen only a handful of times, the last time being when he was about 4 years old, he knows that he is his father but has always called my daughter's father daddy since he's has basically been his daddy from day 1. Recently my son has been asking questions about his donor, like do you think he misses me or thinks about me and has even asked me if he could call him. I just don't know what to do as far as letting him have any communication with him. I just don't want him to get hurt and Im thinking maybe I should jus twait till he's alittle older before I let him have any communication so he will understand better if things don't go the way he is hoping. Any advice or help You can give me would be very much appreciated.

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Julie - posted on 01/15/2012

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Hi Meg,



Thank you so much for the advice, I will definently use it and I really hope that things turn around for you and your son but if not at least he has a great mommy and you sound like you will do just fine...best of luck to you also :)

Meg - posted on 01/14/2012

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Hi Julie,



I feel I may be in your shoes in 7 years or so. My little guys father knows about him, but has never seen him and keeps no contact with me (though his granny is in touch via the internet). I know there will be questions, and when they come, I feel it is best to be honest on a level they can understand. 'do you think he misses me'...I'd try to approach it with an honest 'I don't know sweetie' and an explaination about some people not being ready to be a daddy, while emphasising how much you and your family love him and how important he is to you and any male role model in his life. I might contact the donor on your own and see if he is at all interested in hearing from his son? If its a positive situation maybe he can establish some sort of communication with him, and if not perhaps its best your son stick with whatever image of his father he has in his mind and let him learn more as he's older.



Its a tough call...and easy for me to say as I'm not there yet, but thats how I would approach it. Best of luck!

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