She's calling him Daddy...

Lilly - posted on 08/18/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I've been in a relationship now for 2 months with my bf. I bring my 2 yr old daughter with me whenever I go to see him and we all have a great time and he's a great male role-model for her. Growing up it was okay for me to call my mother's bf at the time "daddy" but some of my relatives are telling me that it's not okay. My bf and I have talked about it, and he's says that it's okay as long as she knows him by his name first (which she does). Now her bio father (who isn't really part of her life because he lives in another state, but still does close to NOTHING for her) says that he wants to be the only "daddy" in her life. I have conflicting feelings about that. It seems like every time she calls my present bf daddy, I feel like I should correct her. Any advice?

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Joe - posted on 06/16/2013

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You are such a bitter ranting person so if you were raped or had some dead beat dude get you pregnet you sound like you would be glad to have your children call those ppl daddy. If your in a multiple year relationship and are happy with whos in it and your children call that person daddy then it seems you are the one confused and are causing the confusion in the first place. If your not happy with ur kids calln a man who has stepped up to the plate to take on the responsibilities as daddy then by all means he has earned that right. Melissa hooper you are a horribly misguided individual.

Rachel - posted on 07/11/2011

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I would say just have her call him by a nick name or something until you guys have been together longer. My son was 2 when I met my current boyfriend. He has never had a dad. His sperm donor wanted me to have an abortion when i told him i was pregnant. After about 6 months and me being pregnant with our daughter he started to call my boyfriend daddy. This was only after I explained to my boyfriend that even if we dont work out he will always be my son and also my daughters dad and he is ok with that. It is as if he has 2 kids even if only one is biologically his.

Melissa - posted on 07/10/2011

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you shouldnt allow any man to be called daddy but daddy....they have a dad- only one dad and one mom period. You can have other adults that are important n their life but that is confusing and damaging to allow or encourge that to a boyfriend no less. It is also very disrespectful to their dad.....what if they called him a different horrible mean name? would you stop them? Get married then he will be a "step dad" but first names are best all the way around except for the actual birth mom and actual birth dad. would you be ok with them calling potential dads girlfriend - mom? I know I wouldnt and I am both .....my sons "brother from another mother" ha! called me mom accidentally or testing it out (?) not sure and I corrected him when he was young (3-4)saying very nicely "no I am not your mom because you only have 1 mom and I am Melissa, but I am an adult in your life you can ALWAYS count on if you ever need anything and you are important to me. Works fantastic and I get along famously with his mom because of that....

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Carine - posted on 05/24/2011

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I was dating someone my daugther called papi and my ex-husband was totaly offended by that fact. My daughter was 3 at the time but she knows her daddy and knows the difference. I believe it is the father's who feels that because they are not doing anything for the child or being present in the child's life makes them uneasy when someone else does not mind participating in the child's life. As Candice Clark suggested giving your bf a nickname as my daughter called my bf papi Ray that helped.

Jessicca - posted on 05/04/2011

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well if he wanted to be the " ONLY" daddy then he should of taken more of a role with her , i think u should keep telling her that she should call him by his first name , cause if u would break-up with him then she will think " who where did daddy go " so in a way yes i think it can be harmful .. unless u know he is the one ... then fine let her call him daddy all day long .. but really u need to either nip it in the butt or just let it go

Angell - posted on 05/04/2011

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i went through this my daughter got attached to my ex(but wene we were together) started callinmg him daddy and his son would call me mommy we stayed together for a few yrs adn had a son of our own things went bad and he moved to his familys 3000miles away now my 20mth old doesn have him my aughter wonders y daddy went away with her brother and now he wantes her to staop calling him daddy and doesn want our son to call anyone daddy and he has moved on after a mth and has this new girls kids calling him daddy sit her down talk to her now bc if it doesn work out she will b confused and hurt let her start calling him daddy wen its serous and you know it will b tohgetr for a long time you dont want her to think every man is her daddy

Candice - posted on 08/21/2009

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i suggest you give him a nickname. expecially since he is just your boyfriend...and he may not be there a year from now, then your child has lost 2 daddies. any man i introduced to my daughter (friend or otherwise) i call "mr. *first name*. a friend of mine got her daughter used to calling her boyfriend "babo" which apparently means some kind of father figure in italian. (?)



if your ex at some point comes into her life, the daddy issue could also be a problem...so i would just stick with an alternative "term of affection".

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