Am I doing the right thing

Amanda - posted on 04/30/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have recently hired a lawyer to help me get full custody of my daughter who just turned 1, and to also get child support. At first I wasn't going to take her dad to court, because I thought that he would step up and be a proper dad with her. However, recently he just received himself a second DUI within a year, and now he wants to start taking her over night for the whole weekend. I am concerned that he doesn't have a license or even insurance, and I am very concerned that he will drink and then drive with her in the vehicle. I did allow him to have day visits before because he lives with his mom and doesn't have a proper place for our daughter to sleep. When I first left him I did allow him to have over night visits but that was because I didn't really have anyone to watch her while I worked. Now that my mom is living with me and is watching my daughter I don't feel that I need to my daughter stay over night with her dad. I know his other daughter stays over night with him, but she is also old enough to call her mom if she needs her. I guess I am just wanting assurance that I am doing the right thing.


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Chantal - posted on 05/01/2009




Hi guys, it's so great to see you on hear supporting each other, i went through all of this a while ago, i dont know were you are from and whether the same family laws apply to you, but where im from the laws are very frustrating and dont work well, i guess you could call me lucky, my custody stuff is all sorted now and i am, i think in a better place than i have ever been in my life,i know it's so crappy right now but it really does get so much better, if any of you need an ear feel free to drop me a line

Laura - posted on 05/01/2009




I agree that you are doing the right thing. I am also in the middle of a solicitor battle after an argument with my ex that led to him threatening to take my daughter "when I least expected it" (to quote him). He has problems with drink and can be nasty and aggresive. I, like you had allowed her to stay with her dad overnight but he was often letting her down or turning up late and the last few weeks to which he saw our daughter, I was getting concerned for her as I was hearing about concerns of neglect from our childminder on the one day he had to take her there and my daughter would often be moody and withdrawn for couple of days after each visit. My ex has not seen our daughter for about 4 months now as adviced by my solicitor. I also applied for child maintenance (which I should have done a long time ago as I was paying for nappies or food etc for him to have her). I always felt bullied in to letting her stay there even though I wasnt happy.

I have heard this week that he has disappeared and moved over 200 miles away. I am just hoping that he doesnt come back.

Keep strong, remember everything you are doing is for your daughter.

Tarah - posted on 05/01/2009




yes i think ur doing the rite thing im just the same at the end of the day put ur child first

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