behaving problem

Katie - posted on 02/16/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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im a single mum trying to raise my 6 yr old the best i can . the problem i got is hes not listening to me ive tryed every thing some times i cant take him out in case he start .im willing to try any thing help would b greatful thanx

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Katie - posted on 02/20/2010

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i do watch them i try and get tips , sum time they work, im just guna keeep trying hopfully he grow out of it . wen he good hes good but then im waiting then to see he does kick off , when he doesnt start i do reward him n tell him im proud

Krystal - posted on 02/19/2010

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my son is 5 and has adhd, he is very hyperactive and does NOT listen. I thought he was too young for meds so I took him to counseling when he was 3 and the counselor gave me some tips that helped.... like ignoring things that can be ignored as long as there is no self harm or harm to others.. that worked. then he stopped going to counseling and when he turned 5 i brought him back again and they developed a list of house rules and taught him about respect- treating others the way you want to be treated- and that helped. he is horrible when i take him in public, so when he behaves i offer a reward like staying up a half hour later or something that interests himm and that helps too. GOOD LUCK

JoAnn - posted on 02/19/2010

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My 3yr old daughter is the same way. My deceased grandmother's nurse turned us on to watching the Super Nanny on the Style Channel. Although her behavior has improved, she is still not completely complient. We found that her acting out was her way of wanting attention... trying watching super nanny to get advice. she gives great advice and she definitely knows how to deal with children that wont listen.

Samantha - posted on 02/18/2010

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Katie, all I can tell you is that if something doesn't feel right to you - trust your maternal instincts - because then something isn't right. My daughter actually started acting up from the time her father left us. She was 9months the first time and 15months the 2nd time. During that stage I was told it is the adjustment period for her and the age thing came up too, then it was the terrible twos, then the troublesome threes. A month before she turned 4yrs I couldn't take it anymore - I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She was 4yrs and 6weeks when she told the social worker what happened to her when she was 2yrs and 10months. When I went to the social worker I told her that my daughter has a problem with me, thats how it felt anyway. Those tantrums - OMG, she threw tantrums everywhere and for no reason. One particular tantrum at home lasted 6 solid hours from start to finish, or in her case sleep - no breaks between. We tried everything from giving her a bath, rescue remedy, pain meds, spanking - nothing helped. It turns out that she hasn't got a problem with me, but that she blames me for what happened to her - which is actually worse than been the problem, I think. Been a problem can still be sorted out. One can't take away what happened to her or undo it, in order to be unblamed. Anyhow, here in South Africa our social worker doesn't keep checking up on us. There is a court case as a result of what happened. Unfortunately, my daughter can't go for councilling till judgement and sentencing. Sometimes I wish the social worker would check up on us - some days are diamonds, but most days are still stone. It's a really hard situation for us single mums, especially when people do thing to spite us. One really needs a good support system - parents, brothers, sisters, friends. The book that was suggested, is very good - our social worker suggested it to me to help with discipline, and different approaches to discipline, etc. I really hope that everything works out for you and your son. Our kids are so precious to us, we can't undo the past we can help make the future brighter.

Katie - posted on 02/18/2010

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yeah but dont realy want socail workers in my life checking up on me . i did go to the doctors bout it and they said it just his age .

Samantha - posted on 02/18/2010

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If all else fails, try a social worker or child psychologist. My daughter is now going on 5yrs. I couldn't handle her moods, tantrums, etc. I took her to a social worker. I won't say the problem is sorted - it'll take a while before it is sorted. At least I know what the problem is, and she talks a bit about what is worrying her and stressing her.

Sarah - posted on 02/17/2010

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i know that feeling hun but it dont work like that they dont ever seem to play up for their dads like they do us either funny enough, if you on facebook hun add me as friend you can chat to me any time i should be on here most nights it good to chat to someone who been there its also a really good destraction to ignore all the naughty behaviour that you would normally go off your head at lol, where bouts are you from???

Katie - posted on 02/17/2010

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thanks sarah hun thats great help i love him so much hes my world i just dont have anyone to talk to bout this i try talking to his dad but all i get is il talk to him thats it.

Sarah - posted on 02/17/2010

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hi my son is 11 now but when he was the ages of 3/6 he was a nightmare he would hit kick punch smack throw anything temper like you wouldn't believe i spoke to a teacher in year 1 i couldn't take anymore they got me in touch with a school for children with behavioral problems, they did a 6 week scheme learning to grow it was to teach both parent and child a new way of dealing with things and to help you figure out why you child could be acting up, smacking dont work and yelling it just makes things worse, i was taught to, go down to their level to talk explain your reasons and why you are not happy with them or whatever only reward the good behaviour ignore the bad its usually for attention if they play up or cause a scene embarrasing i know just carry on pay no attention to the naughty tantrums when he/she does even the smallest thing thats good go over the top with praise well done you are so fantastic you listened really well or whatever they did saying you need to do this or you need to not do that, saying can you do this or would you do that is asking them if they want to basically well you cant tell them off for saying well actually no i cant or wont you asked me you didn't state that i needed to... try cutting out some sugary stuff that used to send my j on a hyper aswell, oh and try to be very clear with your instructions so that they understand what you want them to do go down to their eye level its very intimidating being looked down on by someone bigger than you spend time playing have an hour where you do what he/she wants every day quality time whatever your child wants to do within reason you want your child to do everything you want to do return the favour have a little time set aside where there are no distractions phone calls dont answer the door show you child they are the most important sorry this is very long but i have done all this with my now 11 year old and he is amazing i have a few bad mood days but he helps me with my other little boy 4months old now my jamie changes nappies helps do some chores and everything the most important thing of all is stick to eveything you have said if you said that you would go to the park go to the park if you say no stick to it because if you dont they pick up on that and you are then to them not worth listening to you said you would but you dont why should i behave if you tell me we can do this then you tell me we are not your child will try and pull you back in to the way they like things because they like ruling the roost, be strong dont give up and stick to your guns if i can do it you can too it gets easier after a while hope some of this helps you gook luck sorry again its sooooo long xx

Katie - posted on 02/17/2010

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thank you both . think i will get the book . where could i get the book from. he worse when he come back from his dads. i allway tel him i love him we do have a good relationship. it just the behaving. in all fairness today hes been really good it like having my boy back before all this started

Angel - posted on 02/17/2010

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I have a book I think you should read it's called, "Have a New Kid by Friday"
by: Dr. Kevin Leman

I found that this book helped a lot with my children. Being Consistant is the key, The other thing that worked for my kids is remove all of their stuff, toys, books, radio, games stuffed animals etc. make them earn it back. Of course you only use this when they do something that is way wrong. Like hitting a parent ect.

Kristine - posted on 02/17/2010

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my boy is three, and i have the same problem, it can be realy stressfull, any time we are in public he goes crazy and wants to run around its scarry, i think that being consistant, follwing through with what you expect not backing down, for example if he is misbehaving and you say you need to start behaving for me now because i want to take you to the zoo or i was going to buy you that toy then if he keeps acting up he dosnt get rewarded make sure that you follow through with the reprimand so now he dosnt get that toy he will act up be upset push every button at first but it wont take long for him to realise that you are serious next time you warn him he might start to listen....at home iv found taking the toy they are playing with and putting it up for 10 mins.. when he is misbehaving instead of time out try time in.. take him away from the situation, tell him calmly what you feel he has done wrong let him know that it has upset you, ask him if he understands why you are upset, and if you can both hug and move on let him know that he is still loved even when he is naughty, tell him you dont want to be upset with him, but also be firm and calm about the kind of behaviour that is exceptable

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