Broken Promises

Victoria - posted on 03/04/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son's dad has parenting time every other weekend. I finally got the nerve to let him know where his school was because he wanted to surprise our 3 year old at school early last Friday because his weekend was getting cut short. Our son doesn't like surprises. He doesn't know how to act. I told him that morning that his daddy was picking him up from school. He was soooo excited and telling everyone in his class that his daddy was picking him up. I get a call around the time he was to be picked up telling me that he wasn't going to make it. At that point I had already left town and was up in Breckenridge with some girls for a Girls Weekend. Luckily my mom was able to get him, but our son was so disappointed. My ex acts like it wasn't a big deal. Why do they have to be like that??

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Elizabeth - posted on 03/04/2009

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hi, im so sorry to hear that, my boys dad is the same, he always let my our boys down when they were younger, the oldest now 4 has such a good memory he knows when hes been let down, it got to the stage that i was agree something with their dad but not tell the boys cos i had learnt the hard way, the last time my boys seent here dad was nov, when he promised to take them out for the older ones birthday,, but he didnt turn up, not even a phone call or a card, nor at christmas. hes had so many chances the last time the oldest seen him out and a bout he turned around to his daddy and said please dont let me down any more, i just dont want you see you. he would play up at pre school, not wanting me to leave him cos he didnt understand if i was coming back like daddy, but since dad has stoped all contact the boys have really settled down and are so loving towards each other. ,if ur little ones dad isnt going to change, maybe u should agree things with dad.but be on stand by in case he lets him and u down again. good luck, and if u ever need to talk. message me x

Dina - posted on 03/04/2009

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I do agree with Demetria as well, if this is a recurrent problem that happens all the time, it is probably best to not tell the child, then if it actually does happen it will just be a sruprise.



but if its just once in a while i would just be honest with the child as much as a child can understand

Dina - posted on 03/04/2009

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My son is 3 1/2 and his dad lives 8 hours away from us, so we set up our visitation once a month and he takes him for a full week...there has been a couple times that he has been a day or two late due to work, or just simply road conditions (canada winters can be brutal), all you can do is be honest with your son, as he gets older he will start to realize which reasons for being late are worth being dissapointed over....and i always let my ex talk to my son when he is going to be a day late so my son just isn't hearing it from me, but hearing it from his father...i know you cant do this when your son is at daycare, but i hope the father is appaulagizing for not showing up, also if it is you or your mom picking him up, maybe plan something fun he likes as a back up, say daddy couldn't make it by we are going to go to the park or something he loves.

Demetria - posted on 03/04/2009

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Because they are irresponsible, simple, selfish people. I hate to say this but we as moms have to always stay a step ahead of their stupidity. Never trust their word. They don't care about anything outside of their own interests. You cant fix it.. its a character trait of all deadbeats. My ex husband calls like clockwork each Christmas and lies about visiting. I never tell my son nor will i ever. This has been going on for 6 years! Our main job is to keep them safe and guard their little hearts. Sorry you had to experience that but from now on only depend on YOU!

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